Losing Faith
When I was about 15 I can admit I made the biggest mistake of my life. Her name was Faith Mckenzie. At the time, to me she looked like a goddess and I just couldn't resist her. She walked with an arrogance that told everyone looking that she was in control. I knew it would be a challenge but I was young. I had time. Just seeing her brightened up my day.
"I have a bad feeling about this Evan." This was Brittany. She was one of my best friends. You remember that from the other story. She was always looking out for the group. She was like the leader of the pack. Unfortunately she couldn't protect me from myself. When you are ignored sometimes you seek out any attention you can find. Brittany and Jessica had great parents who loved them. They were lucky.
"I don't care. There's something about her." I should've listened. I know that now. I wish I could go back in time and change things. I'd change a lot of things. Including the moment I walked up to Faith and asked for her to go out with me. She hesitated, rolled her eyes then she thought for a moment before smirking. Then after a full minute, she said yes. She decided I was useful to her. If I hadn't been so pathetic, I would've realized something was off.
Faith treated me like a toy and a servant at the same time. Manipulating me any chance she could and making me do whatever she didn't want to. Carrying her books, doing her homework, even her friends homework. She'd call me at hours she knew I was busy or sleeping as a sign of power.
I never told the girls about everything she did to me. If I ever did, I have no doubt Brittany would've killed her on my behalf. I made excuses for all my scars. The physical ones at least.
You'd expect a toxic relationship like this to last maybe a week to a year. I stayed with Faith for 5 years. I loved her and she found it entertaining to treat me however she wanted. I was a game to her instead of a real human with feelings. She never remembered my birthday or celebrated any of my accomplishments. Still it wasn't enough to make me leave her. She even convinced me to move away from my friends because she didn't want me spending so much time with other women.
I am ashamed to admit that I agreed. I actually thought she'd change after that. Well she did but it wasn't for the better. Things escalated pretty quickly. Little arguments turned into her throwing plates at me. Then came the apology and excuse and saying she'd never do it again. We were isolated which meant I had imprisoned myself with her. I had no support to tell me that I deserved better.
That's not even the worst thing she did to me. I was a good man who had always wanted a family because at least my kids would love me unlike my parents and Faith. I was pretty open about this. One day Brittany texted me saying that She and Jess needed me immediately. I packed my bags in a hurry preparing to leave. I told Faith and she got mad.
"They are my friends and they don't contact me very often, I have to go. I'll be back soon."
"Oh you just want to go cheat with other women. You're a man and they are women."
"I would never cheat on you and you know that. I even moved out here for you. My friends need me."
"I need you too. I need you more."
"Need me for what?"
"I need you here Evan. I'm pregnant" That shocked me so much I dropped my suitcase and turned around to face her. I should've been sceptical of her timing or at least asked for some kind of proof. I wanted to believe her. My shock turned into happiness. I hugged her. I didn't notice her rolling her eyes. I texted Brittany that I had something big come up so I needed time. I hoped the girls would forgive me.
I spent the next two months happily putting up with Faith's attitude thinking that it would be worth it to see my child. Imagine my rage and pain when i found out that it was all a lie. She slipped up by leaving her stuff out in the open. A new box of tampons to be specific. At first, I couldn't imagine why she'd need those if she was pregnant but figured there was some kind of logical explanation.
"Hey babe, I have a question. Why do you need tampons?"
"Didn't they teach you sex ed in school?"
"Yes but why do you specifically need them?"
"Evan seriously? I'm a woman. Women get periods. Is this really that hard to understand?"
"No but I was taught that pregnant women didn't have periods."
"Oh right. I forgot I told you that. I guess you caught me."
"You were lying this whole time?"
"Yea, so what? What are you going to do about it? Your family doesn't care about you and you abandoned your friends. "I was out of the door in 30 minutes. I didn't pack all my stuff but I didn't care. I had to get away from her. Once outside, I screamed into the air.
Then I texted Jess that I was coming back. Almost immediately Brittany called me angrily. She told me that the reason they needed me before was because Jess was in the hospital. I got on a plane immediately.
That's how I ended up here, In a new home I bought so I wouldn't be haunted by any of my old memories. I kept a picture of Jess in Eden's room so she'd at least know what she looked like. She was 18 months old at this point and loved to move around. I loved her. She would refer to me as dada. I loved it and there was no one to protest.
When I was with Jess I started thinking maybe I was meant to be this baby's father figure. I started thinking maybe I could form the family I never had with Faith, with Jessica. I didn't realize, you can't just replace people like that. Jessica helped me forget about Faith altogether. As for Eden, she was mine. I don't care what anyone says. Biology be damned, she was my daughter. Brittany helped but she was more like an aunt than a mother figure. No one could be more perfect for us than her mother.
