Exploration

I sat at the bar in the airport.. the third time this week repeating the same routine. New city, new airport, new hotel... the same presentations over and over. Half the room not listening despite them requesting I come. What a waste.

Today was Atlanta, the teams had asked that I come, but half the members decided it would be okay to dial in for my presentation. I was done with the routine. I had one more city... one more presentation... then I could be back home and spend some quality time off by myself.

As I sipped my gin and tonic, I started to do the only entertaining thing that can be done in an airport... people watch. Atlanta never seemed to disappoint. From people hurrying through to catch a connection, husbands and wives arguing over getting to the airport too early (or too late), and people who had lost all common decency with what they were willing to wear on an airplane... my time started to pass by pleasantly.

I surveyed the concourse to find the next bite of entertainment when he caught my eye. He was olive-skinned, wearing a loose sport coat and well fitting jeans, carrying a blue leather bag. The soft pink button down beneath his jacket softened his look, but his toned face and chiseled jawline told me he was definitely fit.

We locked eyes and I saw a small grin appear in one corner. He looked back in the direction he was walking and moved on. I watched as he passed, trying not to be caught staring but as I checked out his rear assets, he looked back at me and smirked again.

Damn... if I knew anyone here I might actually be a little embarrassed...

I had only recently admitted to myself that I was bisexual. All the signs had been there for years I just never cared to notice... or was too scared to notice.

I had never been with another man, but the lust was definitely there. I knew I wanted to feel a man's weight against me... feel his strength as he takes hold of me... taste his flesh as he slips into my mouth... feel the pressure as he takes me... the heat as he claims me...

I finished up my drink and paid my tab, always leaving a nice tip for the mere fact of being left alone. I grabbed my carryon and walked over to my gate, thankfully in the same direction as that hunk earlier... silently wishing I'd get another chance to see him.

I boarded the plane and grabbed my seat in first class. If nothing else, all the frequent flier miles had some perks, and I wasn't going to take a cross country flight to Seattle in economy. I settled in and, for a while, it seemed like the aisle seat next to me was going to be open. But just as the last person boarded, I see a blue leather bag drop into the seat.

The pale pink shirt comes into my vision as he drops down into the seat. He looks at me and that small grin appears.. I could have sworn his eyes lit up when he recognized me.

I, however was absolutely embarrassed. I had no clue if this man was gay, straight, or something in between and he had caught me basically eye fucking him... a stranger in the airport. He must think I am an absolute creep... FML.

I threw my ear buds in and tried to tune out the bustle on the plane that was going on before takeoff. To be honest, I wanted to try and avoid thinking about this stunning man next to me...

As I let the music fill my head, I started to zone out... I thought about my life before all of this. I had been married, with kids... My wife and I had drifted apart... but only in terms of intimacy. We remained and still remain great friends... but the spark was gone. The final breeze against the flickering candle was my realization that I was bisexual. She felt I wasn't going to be happy suppressing that for the rest of my life... so she offered me an out.

I wanted her to find happiness again, so I took her up on it. I gave her almost everything we had. I wanted to make sure she and the kids would be comfortable and never want for anything. For a while we were just separated. She on my insurance for cost savings... but I rented an apartment and we separated our finances. Only from our children and in name were we still tied to each other.

Eventually she found another guy and we finalized the divorce so they could wed. He was perfect for her, much better than me and I was genuinely happy they found each other. After the kids left the house, they moved to a small cottage near the gulf. But through all that time, I was alone... something had been holding me back and keeping me unfulfilled.

I snapped out of my daze as the flight attendant asked about drinks. I ordered a gin and tonic and gave her my food request. Normally, I would drink bourbon, but I saw the options on the plane and was not going to go that route. I heard the mystery man's order as well; gin and tonic... coincidence?

I turned partially towards him and said "good order, right?"

Jesus H. Christ... 'good order?' what the fuck are you thinking man! Are you that bad at flirting? Wait... you don't even know what this guy likes... do you flirt before knowing that? ugh... I started to realize why I was alone.

Thankfully, either due to pity or genuine agreement, he held up his drink and we touched glasses lightly before taking that first sip. Maybe I hadn't done so bad?

I grabbed my phone and hoped to everything holy that the WIFI worked. I got signed in and opened up a messaging app so I could message Nymph.

ANSWER, ANSWER, ANSWER, ANSWER... NOW DAMMIT...

I saw the ellipses appear and she answered. I typed out as much as I could explaining and finally asked HOW DO I KNOW IF HE IS GAY OR BI?!!!!? I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING. HELP ME.

"Bear... CALM DOWN" were the only words that appeared. I took a breath and centered myself. A few moments later, the text appeared.

"You just have to have a conversation with him and see where it goes. If he's gay or bi, great... if not its just a conversation. It all goes exactly the same."

I soaked in her words and tried to get it together.

"Thanks, luv. I owe you a bunch."

"Damn right you do... I WAS in the middle of something."

"Sorry... I'll make it up to you, promise..."