Max
I was 12 years old when I realized I was different from the others. And I do not mean the good kind of different. While others, like my older sister, were scoring at the top of her class, or excelled at sports, I struggled to even graduate sixth grade. That wasn’t anything new for me though as I had always been struggling at the low end of class. I had always believed I was like a princess who hadn’t found her calling yet. With hidden powers, just waiting to blossom, turning me into a proud queen.
That year I realized this talent might never show. I would always be the dirty little maid beside the shining princesses, doomed to struggle not to break any of the expensive stuff I would have to clean for them. I knew well that others were struggling similarly to myself, but it became painfully clear that I was slower than my peers, both mentally and physically.
Having understood this simple reality, it made much more sense how my parents treated me. Especially my dad. While my older sister was his sweetheart and would get whatever she wanted, I was met with silent disdain. I could, and maybe should have decided then and there to not care. To live my life the best I could and to find my calling. I didn’t. I chose to double down. To spend my days hunched over books, or out running, determined to get my grades up, be it in academics or sports. It never occurred to me how it must have looked to my parents, when their child spent her days away from home or shut in her room, only to bring back lousy grades with no improvement in sight.
Three years later, not much had changed academically. I would somehow manage to advance this year as well, even if only by a hair’s breadth as my grades were still at rock bottom. Meanwhile, my relationship with my parents had deteriorated further. Sports, the only grade hovering around a C, did not help to appease them. But what could I have done? I tried my best, not knowing any better and not able to comprehend the implications. Just like the day I overheard my parents talking in the living room.
“I don’t understand your concerns. This might be the only way for her. And not only will we profit, most importantly, Steph will get all the support she could possibly need,” said my father with his deep husky voice, trying to persuade my mother.
“Oh dear. But our Steph is such a smart girl. Do we really need to do this for her?” Mother’s voice sounded tired. Understandable, I thought, as it was quite late.
“Miri. You know how the world works. Smarts alone are not enough. All this talk about meritocracy only holds while money doesn’t challenge it. You know I could have been…” His voice trailed of. I heard shuffling and him, clearing his throat. “Let’s stay on topic. Do you want her to work for someone else? Her whole life? She can be so much more, if we give her the chance. This opportunity doesn’t come easy and the price is so small in comparison.”
“She is still our daughter.” Mothers voice sounded weak. The words had no strength behind them, as if they had been worn down over many exchanges.
“A troublemaker, nothing more. This will be the best she does for this family, for her own blood, her whole life!” Father’s voice grew louder for a second, but he immediately lowered it again. “Trust me on this. And who knows? Maybe she will have a better life than she could ever have had with us.”
“No.. ever back… No… heard.” Mother’s voice had become all but I whisper. I couldn’t tell her words apart.
“All for the good of the family. I will tell them we accept.” Father’s voice was the last I heard, before the sounds of the TV grew louder.
I quickly hurried to bed, thinking about what I had heard. My older sister Steph would soon have her finals and enter university afterwards. Were they talking about that? Was mother sad to let her go? We had talked many times about this during dinner and it always felt like everyone was happy about it.
While it sounded like they were also talking about me,because who else could be the troublemaker, I could not understand what they meant. I would certainly not enter university and finding a job would not be easy, but I was determined to continue to do my best after graduation. I did not want to be a burden to my parents, because I knew that was something my father was always concerned about.
After this nightly conversation three weeks passed without any major incidents and summer break arrived. Steph had successfully achieved top scores in her finals, while I tried my best to apply to any Work-Experience programmes I could find. Getting into any with my grades was already proving to be difficult, as I had already gotten rejected a few times. My hope that good grades were only necessary for university and high paying jobs was unlikely to hold much longer.
Steph, on the other hand, was busy enjoying her last Summer break. She had left just the day before with her friends on a trip. The heat of the approaching summer could already be felt when my parents told me to pack everything I needed for a little trip into my travel bag during dinner. They had found a study camp and enrolled me and it would already start tomorrow.
I knew I should have been happy they still cared for me, but I really wanted to gain work experience. Studying was important, but even I had understood by this point that the effects on me were rather limited. My father, calling me an ungrateful brat, told me to just do what I was told. I complied. What else could I have done? The next day, 7 o’clock sharp, I was standing ready. My parents seemed way more nervous than me, with father walking in front of the window, waiting anxiously, while mother seemed really sad, struggling to hold back her tears. Something strange was going on, I was sure of it, even though I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Not knowing what else to do I hugged my mother to comfort her, which only led to her crying and holding me tightly.
“Come on. Get a grip. They are here.” Father grabbed my bag and looked at my mother, who was about to say something. “No. Stay here if you cannot keep it together. Max, follow me!”
With those words he walked towards the door, every step seeming to weigh a ton. Mother slowly let me out of her embrace.
“We love you. Please believe me,” she said before giving me a kiss on the forehead.
“See you later mum,” I said and hurried after father, who had already opened the front door. In front of the house, a white van was waiting and a tall guy was walking towards us. He wore sunglasses, a white T-Shirt and jeans.
“Good day to you sir,” he greeted my father, offering a handshake.
“Morning,” answered father.
“So you are Maxine?” The man said, now looking at me. His eyes were hidden behind the glasses, but I did not like the tone of his voice.
“Yes,” I still replied diligently, “are you a teacher?”
He hesitated for just a moment, before he answered. “Yeah. You could say that. Nice to meet you.” Then he turned towards my father again and pulled out his phone. “I will affirm the handover. Please check, so all is in order.”
“Yes.” My father pulled out his phone as well. “Yes, I can see it. So everything will be as promised?”
“Of course, of course. Just as the contract states,” the man replied, flashing a calming smile, which I also did not like.
“Please convey our thanks for taking care of our daughters.” After the man nodded, father turned to me and pushed my bag into my hands. “Do your best, Max.” Those were the last words I ever heard of him.
