Chapter 1

I am the Weekend Girlfriend and my pride does not allow that.

Take me out on Sundays
Take me out on Saturdays
Tell me you have plans but please don't tell me when.

I don't want to know

Your weekday exploitations of
Your lunches, your dinners, nor your desserts.

Tell me you have plans
and lie to me who you're out with.
But please dear don't let me find out -
my Pride cannot withstand this.

Shun me every weekday evening,
Tell me you're goddamn busy.
Keep me waiting on the phone and
Lying awake in bed.

Your due diligence searching for
new cafes, new restaurants, and new places
will certainly not be in vain.
Even though I'm not the one you buy coffee for
so personally in the morning,
just please, don't let me know.

Don't tell me who you're taking out for fancy dinners,
Don't tell me who you're dating on the weekdays.
Don't tell me that you've hugged, held, and kissed her because
my Pride just can't take it.

I don't need to know so don't tell me and hurt me.
If you want to lie, just learn to lie better instead.
I'm just the Weekend Girlfriend, so
just take me out when it's time.

Take me out to a date or
with a shotgun to my head.
Take me either way and
I'd be happier if I were dead.