What is your opinion?
Wonderful
"This novel takes me back to when I would read Sherlock Holmes and The Famous Five, even though the protagonists are a far cry from each other the author's writing style is charming enough to invoke the nostalgia. The butcher is an interesting character, he is a fresh addition to the detective genre's charming but self destructive rascal protagonist by being a common man that is just trying to survive in a place that hates him. The side characters are very well written aswell, maybe the little girl isn't realistic but she sure is an important character. The mystery is also intriguing and how they mange to solve it while the world seems against them and the end is soberly realistic but with it's silver linings. Awaiting the next entry"
The butcher of barckley hollow
"Good book very good read "
The Butcher of Barclay's Hollow
"Fantastic Book! This story was well written and kept me hooked all the way thru. The story flowed smoothly and I enjoyed it immensely. Thank You for a most excellent adventure."
Notes on first three chapters
"Hi Nick, I enjoyed the setting - time and location. the details were good, the fire the car and horses particularly. I think you're trying to show Conroy's character through him saving the child and get us to root for him. Though his comment 'anything for a pretty face' to a child makes him more paedophile than gallant rescuer. Also the rescue is very dramatic which is generally a good thing but it's making me think the child is significant in the plot not just a device for character building. I also don't quite believe the mother's lack of reaction to her daughter nearly being crushed to death. Might be more believable if the child didn't have parents and you used another character to show the prejudice for Conroy in the first chapter. Re Conroy's character I'd like to be in his head more - get his feelings - emotional, physical etc to this unfriendly world. If Conroy is your point of view character you need to get inside his skin. At the moment the point of view feels blurred - tending towards Conroy but sometimes wandering to other characters e.g. the mother. I done think this means huge chunks of internal monologue - just get his reactions to the events also get him to do more. The rescue is great because it shows him to be proactive but don't just rely on that. Show him doing stuff that helps us build that sympathetic picture of him that you're aiming for. I think you can condense chapter 2 and 3 because it's mostly dialogue ( though the dialogue is good and contributes to the period setting). i like the idea of the vicar being a fake ( possibly) and his story. Though I didn't really spot any clues that might help me to come to that conclusion - not saying there weren't any just that they didn't ;come across to me. The cliffhanger for chap 3 is great. Hope that helps! Sorry can't leave a review without doing the stars - I hate doing this rating thing it's all very subjective and not terribly helpful"
Abolade
"Something I absolutely love about this was basically how well you were able to describe your characters perfectly, it showed that you took a lot of time in building your characters image, When i read most historical books, they usually give more description on the outfit just to show what time of year it was, thats the thing about historical books they are by far the hardest to pull through, I just thought there more aspects of description that could be delivered since it wasn't based in the 21st century but what the heck! it was a brilliant one. Thumbs up!"
A Tale of a Hated Hero
"Your first sentence delivers tension and imagery artfully fused together— something you maintain throughout the piece. It’s no wonder your writing is award-winning! You build intriguingly complex characters in an equally complex society. Your turn-of-the-century small town cruelty is exceptionally well done. It’s a perfect environment for your outcast butcher. A reluctant rejected protagonist makes for an unlikely savior and an intriguing read. I look forward to seeing where this story goes. As this is a draft, I took the liberty of adding some line edits. The opening sequence happens in slow motion— with the girl falling— which at first made me think she might be falling from a great height. It might be worth positioning her in the street a bit earlier, but it reads fine as is. It’s part of your style— you tend to do your scene setting in a way that teases some sort of reveal (the fall, the cigar smell, etc), but there are points where you might be able to still accomplish that, but make it feel a little more real-time by adding a bit of positional clarity. Entirely up to you. “Had it been anyone else he might have taken pleasure in standing back to watch…” So this is a tricky sentence… anyone else refers to the girl, but it could be interpreted to refer to the Conroy. “Had it been anyone else falling in front of that carriage…” might work better. “The mother listened with interested” I think you meant “interest” I would have preferred the opening of Chapter 2 to be an extended monologue, told by Babcock instead of presented in 3rd person. The shuffling apprentice during the meeting with Babcock is a little disorienting before he’s introduced. Plotwise, he feels like a bit of a plot device. I think he's an excellent vehicle for your character's motivation, his appearance is just slightly too convenient-- it would be nice if he were introduced more fully in perhaps the first chapter or the beginning of the scene, instead of an undefined lurker in the background, that way he might feel a little bit more established before he arrives in the story. All in all, a great read!"
The Butcher of Babbington
"A very fascinating and hard to put down even when reading in bed at night and during the day. The author can hold his or her own way of writing. "
Very Good with ability to be Better
"This was a fun story with some good characters that I will remember for quite some time. My constructive criticisms for the author are: it would have been nice to be taken outside the village to break things up. Back in time to build the character story. Maybe the pirate tale is an ongoing plot line (as the girl is reading it?) that makes the reader try to figure out why it is in the story? As this was written I knew the conclusion would be in the unveiling of who the killer was by the main character, and that is okay and why i suggest placing another story within the story. I liked the way the killer stuck around because of the treasure but would have enjoyed meeting him before hand. Same with the boy in the shop -- he was good with the customers, he may have been with the readers. At the end, after the mystery is solved, I didn't like knowing that the girl's dad "lived out his remaining days..." if this is part of a series you never know when he might develop into a useful character, pointing someone in the right direction or simply buying meat from the butcher. My point is, I didn't need to know he died, I was happy that he was reunited with his daughter. Characters: The main character was charming but I think the author could go deeper. He could not read but was bright, okay. What else? He was big but sensitive. I needed more than the contradictions. Tommy from town? He needed a bigger role or be a nameless character in the crowd. Paragraphs breaks with quotations at times left me confused to who was talking. I thought the descriptions during the story were very good and the actions moved at a good pace for the most part. I was hoping for a more direct path in the later chapters -- more of a sense of urgency rather than a build up. All in all I enjoyed the read and that is what counts!"
Almost there...
"I love the story. I like the gruff butcher and the spunky child adventure partners. I thought the mystery was well done and enjoyable to read. I would read this series and would be curious to see what trouble the pair get into next, for sure. I left some line edits. I'm not quite sure how it works on this site, so I hope you got them. Feel free to ignore or embrace them, as you see fit. My overall critique is as follows: I love the general atmosphere, time period, and feel of the piece. I like our hero and his helper. I like the Walcott character (well, I don't like him, but I appreciate that he is a good character). I do think you could develop your characters a little more. We need a little more background and a little more set up to get fully acclimated with the village and with the individual characters. I don't think it would take much, just a line here or there, to help get the character out of your head and onto the page. I did have some issues with Hannah speaking in a way that was more mature than her age. I feel like the author's voice came through when she spoke - an adult who is informing us of pertinent things - rather than Hannah's voice. I want to hear Hannah's voice because she is a darling character and adds so much to the story. She is a kid. She should sound like one and carry the knowledge that a kid would have. She wants adventure and stimulation, but she is not an adult. Also, I question our hero's choice to send her into the wolves den. I wish he were there to protect her or had her run interference for him so he could search or something. Also, our main character is not terribly sympathetic in the beginning of the mystery. An old vicar knocks on his door, he turns him away, then the vicar is killed. Our hero appears to have no guilt or feelings of sadness or responsibility towards the vicar or his daughter. I find that inconceivable! We all can see that Conroy is a good guy who is unfairly maligned by the villagers, but maybe spell it out for us a little more. You want us, as readers, to love and care for Conroy. Help us do that. It wouldn't be hard. A line or two... I feel like you stayed with the characters - you did not head hop and they did not bleed away and disappear or reappear at weird times, so that's good. The pacing was good and the story was interesting. I would tweak the writing here or there, just to encourage flow and cut the excess flowery stuff. You don't need it. You have a good hook and good characters. I understand wanting the language to be period appropriate, so you will have to strike the balance. And for the love of God, tell us what is up with that one jerk in the village who taunts Conroy so much. That guy needs a story, stat. I love the prejudice theme. It adds a lot to the story. You can really play on the various forms of prejudice in future stories within the series. Prejudice against the Irish, against a kid's ability to contribute to solving the case, against the big, scary butcher, against the bureaucracy, and so much more. Great way to keep us interested in the dynamics of village life. One suggestion is to plug your writing into a Text To Speech converter to hear the words as they are written. It will help you figure out where your flow is off. I hope this is helpful! I really enjoyed it. Please invite me to read future stories in the series. I am definitely hooked."
We need more!
"I really enjoyed this story. The characters were interesting, and I liked the plotline. I think that a little more setting would help, but I found it to be very vivid. The reason why I marked it down was because I thought that the beginning scene (where Conroy was saving Hannah) could have been a little more intense. It seemed to drag a little. I hope that you will post more of this story. It is very good. :)"
Well written but underwhelming.
"I first chapter just didn't really grab me. I moan about this constantly on inkitt. People just plonk a first chapter down and then move on to the next one, but the first chapter is really the most important. It's like a summary of everything to follow. It has to be linked to the overall plot somehow and it's the first step into this greater world, so stuff, a significant amount of stuff needs to happen or if it's even very little it has to be pretty powerful. I mean what really happens in the first chapter? A butcher saves a little girl from being maimed and then gets criticized by passers-by. And although I expect their distaste for him to be a theme I doubt it ties to the main plot at all. So really this incident is irrelevant as a starting point. I get you probably want to ease into it and I usually like pieces like this and reading this encouraged me to get out my copy of Hound of the Baskervilles. And even in that, a flowery period piece published over a hundred years ago the first chapter gets to the point. They're not talking about the Hound but they're talking around it, building up to it. but it's clear that its building to something and then the next chapter is called ‘The curse of the Baskervilles’. We have none of that here, it’s just one scene with no foreshadowing or hints of an overarching plot at all. I think this entire chapter could have served better as just a flashback or a story relayed by the girl at a later date and you could have started further on in the story to start at a more relevant point. Giving the main character a little more mystery. You hinted vaguely at a tragedy backstory, so I expect he had a wife and child that died and thus builds a connection with the little girl over the course of the book. As it stands now it’s sort of throw away. It's well written, I like the period style although there are some typos and errors. It needs a good proof read because these obviously slipped through spellcheck. I have to say I cringed at some of it because it just seems like it's trying too hard to be period even in the non-diegetic stuff and it's kind of unnecessary when it could be done better. When I read a modern period piece I expect to be hit in the face with the research involved rather than just flowery language and period accents. I want to be shown more than I’m told. It was easier for Conan-Doyle because he was obviously immersed in it. But it's not really an excuse, what in this story really justifies a period setting? You could take that entire chapter and just change the carriage to a car and it would be no different. Overall, it's very serviceable if a little cliché, I save my harshest criticism for the work I think has potential. I like the title, I like the premise, the style is good but frankly your first chapter is boring. The skill is there but the hook is not. I hoped this helped, I wish you the best of luck with it."
