Prologue - Hawk
Four years ago
“I can do this.”
I repeated to myself once again as I swallowed painfully.
It was almost six in the evening, I was standing in front of Henry’s office and I feared I was going to pass out.
Most of the warriors had already left to get home but I knew he was still there. I could smell his scent, oak wood and coffee, like he was right in front of me.
I raised my fist to knock on the door but stopped at the last second. I felt sick. My hands were clammy, I was sweating and my button shirt suddenly felt too tight around my neck.
Was it always this terrifying?
I took a deep breath and swallowed again. I could do this.
“Are you ever going to come in?” Henry’s voice echoed from the other side of his office door and I instantly paled.
Oh damn.
He knew I was here. How long had he known? Because I had been here for at least a couple of minutes and I didn’t want him to think I–
“Hawk?” The man called out and I knew my time was out.
I thus opened the door and walked inside the small room.
Henry was slumped on his armchair, his feet up onto his desk while he played with a baseball.
And damn was he sexy!
I tried to ignore the way my heartbeat increased when he flexed his arm, catching the ball in his palm, or how his grin showed his perfectly aligned teeth as he turned his face to me.
And I suddenly felt like an idiot.
“Are you alright?” Henry asked as his feet fell noisily on the floor and his smile flattened.
I nodded quickly, trying to find my voice again and waved a hand at him.
“Yeah,” I finally said with a dry throat. “I just wanted to…”
Henry stared at me with his dark brown eyes and the monologue I practiced for hours in front of my mirror just disappeared from my mind. I had everything written down and memorized, but at this instant, none of the words wanted to get out.
“I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me,” I finally said, my blood pumping so fast my head buzzed.
“… Dinner?” The warrior repeated with a
“Yeah, like...” I cleared my throat, as my gaze fell on my feet.
I closed my eyes to gather my courage and my hands clammy and shaky.
“The two of us, like a… A date.”
I shyly opened an eye, glancing at Henry whose eyes widened. His mouth was wide open and I felt my courage fade.
“I’m leaving tomorrow for the Crown Pack, it’s my last night here and I wanted to spend it with you,” I quickly added.
Henry paled and for a second I feared he had stopped breathing. Then I realized what I had just said and I gasped. My cheeks burnt even more as I hurried to correct myself.
“I meant ‘evening’,” I quickly blattered, “I meant I want to spend the evening with you, not…”
I cleared my throat again. Oh damn. I wanted the ground to swallow me and spit me out very, very far away from here.
“Not that I wouldn’t like to… Erm. I just didn’t assume that…” I babbled and hated myself for it.
How was I going to show him I was mature for my age and that dating me wouldn’t be awkward for a twenty-six year old warrior like him? Not by acting like a teenage moron, that was for sure…
Crap!
“You’re cute.” Henry smiled nonetheless at me and for a second my hopes thrived.
“But I’m not completely inexperienced, you know.” I glanced back at him while my fingers played ungracefully with the hem of my button shirt. “Just in case, you’ve been wandering…”
This time, the warrior laughed wholeheartedly. He then looked at me with a gobsmacked face and I braced myself for the disappointment tsunami that was about to hit me.
Sure, I had kissed someone before, but I guessed that didn’t mean anything for him.
“I’m really sorry,” Henry finally said softly and my shoulders fell in defeat.
I looked down at my feet, nodding shyly as I tried to find a polite way out of this awkward mess I created.
He didn’t want me.
After months of training with him and trying to get his attention, I hadn’t succeeded. I knew it was a long shot, Henry was older, with many people at his feet and I was still only a teenager.
But I really felt something with him. My skin warmed up at his touch and my heart definitely became frantic every time he was close. And by the way he always smiled at me, I thought he felt it as well.
“You’re great, really.” Henry said and I internally winced.
Even though I never experienced it before, it felt like the infamous ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ kind of talk.
“You’re a really good person, Hawk. And I’m glad we’ve been spending time together lately but I’m not into men, I’m sorry.” Henry continued and it somehow soothed the rejection.
He wasn’t into men. Meaning…
“Would’ve…” I suddenly felt a confidence I didn’t know I had. “... you been interested in me if you were into men?”
I held my breath. Why did I have to push it? I should accept his answer and walk away with my remaining pride.
Yet, judging by the heat coming from my face, I probably looked like an embarrassed tomato. Not too much pride to have about that…
However, the warrior kept quiet. He stares at me for a couple of seconds before running a hand on his face.
“You know what?” Henry then surprisingly cheered as he stood up from his chair. “Would you like us to have dinner, as friends?”
I stared back at him, stunned. His face was serious and the way his dark brown eyes dived into mine made my stomach flip. He hadn’t answered my question but I wasn’t going to call him out on it.
“Ugh, yeah!” I thus exclaimed before he could change his mind.
I’d take all the time I could get with Henry. Even if it was just a friendly meal at the closest diner.
Yet, to my surprise, Henry brought me to the Pack Italian restaurant. It wasn’t much, but it was still better than a burger and fries on a plastic tray. We sat at a nice table and chatted the entire dinner.
I insisted on paying, saying I was the one who initiated it, but Henry refused to see me spend my pocket money on him. After some hard negotiations, I managed to pay for the drinks while Henry paid for everything else.
We were now leaving the restaurant and my breathing became shallow as panic took over me. I didn’t want the evening to end!
For the first time in my life, I was spending it with a man I liked. And even though it was a non-date, it somehow felt just like a real one.
“Come on, I’ll walk you home.” Henry surprised me as his hand landed on my shoulder.
“What?” I blurted out.
Home? I wasn’t ready to face my parents yet. Not with the big smile I knew I was going to wear for the rest of the night.
“It’s almost past ten.” Henry narrowed his eyes on me. “You’re only sixteen. Did you think I’ll let you go home on your own?”
“We’re at the Pack, nothing’s going to happen to me.” I talked back.
“Well, let’s not take that chance the day before your big departure, shall we?” Henry smiled at me and started walking in the direction of my parents’ house.
I followed him and we spent the short walk talking about my up-coming training with the Crown Alpha’s warriors and how Henry would’ve loved to do it.
“I met him once, you know, when I was a teen.” Henry said to me as we reached my house and I suddenly dragged my feet. “The Crown Alpha. But I never got the courage to apply to the graduate program and life went by.”
“You would’ve made a great Crown Warrior.” I instantly told him and he smiled shily back at me.
Despite the love google I currently had, I knew what I just said was true. Henry was a great warrior, with good instinct and a mind for strategy.
Yet, I might’ve touched a nerve because he suddenly became embarrassed.
“Don’t look at me like that, Hawk,” he said as his dark brown gaze fell on our feet.
“Like what?” I wondered, genuinely surprised by his comment.
“Like you’re hoping I’d kiss you,” Henry smirked back at me and I gaped at him.
Oh damn.
Was it that obvious?
I didn’t mean to say anything and I wasn’t going to ask him to, I swore. He suggested we have dinner as friends and I was going to respect that. Yet, now that he mentioned it…
“Would you?” I took my chance, my stomach squeezed by fear and apprehensiveness.
“You know I’m not into men,” Henry glanced back at me.
“I know,” I nodded before biting on my lower lip.
The tense twist in my belly slowly turned into butterflies.
“But that doesn’t answer my question.” I teased the warrior with the best doe eyes I could muster.
Henry grinned back at me and he let out a small chuckle.
I stared back at him and waited. Silence fell between us and I took a moment to look one last time at the man before me. I would definitely miss him at the Crown Pack.
“Alright, this is my goodbye gift to you,” Henry finally sighed loudly as he turned his body to me and cupped my face with both hands. “You’re way too cute for your own good, Hawk.” He then muttered before lips fell onto mine and my head exploded.
My legs let go under me and I grabbed Henry’s shoulders to steady myself. Our torsos touched and I kissed him back, deepening the kiss.
My sudden courage must’ve surprised the warrior because he gasped, opening his lips and giving me access to the interior of his mouth.
And just like that, I was kissing with tongue!
Oh my Goddess. It felt so good!
I was kissing Henry. Finally. And, for a second, I swore he responded, his tongue caressing mine while I let out a small moan.
Unfortunately, the kiss ended as fast as it started and Henry irremediably stepped back, leaving me panting.
“I… Erm.” The warrior cleared his throat and chuckled, breaking the after-kiss awkwardness. “Goodbye, then.”
He grinned gently at me as he took a step backwards, leaving me on my parents’ threshold.
I licked my lips, cherishing the remaining taste of him on them, and nodded gleefully. I was so ecstatic I couldn’t help the wide smile spreading on my face.
“Don’t forget us too fast.” Henry then winked at me as he walked away and I almost laughed.
How could I ever forget him?
