An Eerie, Realistic Haunted House Story

"This is thrilling little tale, full of small, yet creepy moments that almost seem plausible. There are many 'haunted house' stories out there, but this one is refreshing because the horrors don't beat you over the head. They're subtle, they come slowly, and yet this sense of calm makes them all the more disturbing. There are reminisces of other horror tales, notably King's Pet Sematary, yet the author makes them her own. I like the narration and the pace of the story (particularly as it settles in toward the middle), and found it an easy read and an enjoyable, and gently disturbing tale. My one criticism would be the writing style, particularly in the first paragraph: we get a large narrative dump where we learn everything we need to know about the family, which is a little too much. It would be better to get some fo this as the story goes on, rather than all at once. In general, the story tends to tell us a lot, then settles into story telling, before telling us a bit more. Just tell your story and let the expository details come out in the story itself. And since you get so little room in a short story to show us the characters, ask yourself how much we really need to know about them. One last point is dialogue: don't cram it all in the same paragraph voice after voice. Space the dialogue out like a book so we can see the back and forth; this will also change the pace of your story and help its readability and drama. Be sure to spell check as well--caught a few mistakes, such as "breathe" for "breath." These minor technical details aside, this is a great story that will become even better with another read-through. Look forward to reading more by this author."