Chapter 1
I sat down for a drink with my demons, as we did from time to time.
The lineup is shorter through the years, yet still the strong survive.
The faces have never faded, the names still ring in my ears. From Michael, Madison, and Amanda, to Alice and of course unknown of less than a year.
Michael stands before me, the man who I despise the most. He taught me that no person is to be trusted, especially when they lie and boast.
For Michael, Madison, and Amanda were tied together, a family a long time ago.
But Michael couldn’t stand Madison’s cry and now Amanda just waits to die.
Michael’s actions had left me jaded, one of the reasons my faith has faded.
But he did help to realize one important lesson…I can stand with the devil incarnate and not do something that would land me in prison.
The unknown struggles to hold its head, as their life had only begun. Cut short by the acts of a tired parent, their days had been counted on a hand of one.
Their skin is blue and veins show through skin as frail as paper
Nothing I could do could bring them back, despite how much I want… a parent smothering their own child is not something that you want in your own haunt.
Finally I come to Alice… the woman’s loss of life for which I hold the blame… I didn’t pull the trigger, but I still feel full of shame.
It was because of inaction… for lack of pushing forward. I watched her writhing in pain…I watched her succumb to being slaughtered.
I know her loss was not my fault, but I can’t shake this emotion of shame, I’ve been told if you heard the story from someone else, you wouldn’t feel the same.
But the truth is that I was trained to act when action was really needed… but here I felt I had to stay put until my calls for help were heeded.
For now I know what I should have done, pushed forward and crushed the threat… but I doubt I would have helped for all rounds hit their target.
So now I live with all this, guilt, hatred, and loss galore. I don’t know how to stop it, I don’t know how to ignore.
So for now my bourbon glass is empty, only a few drops left at the rim. But I pour another four fingers, so I can go round again.
