May We Never Tie a Knot of Thorns

Emily brushed a loose strand of hair out of her face. 

Damon’s blonde hair shimmered in the sunlight, sweat beading on his forehead in the summer heat.

She liked him for a while now but was way too scared to say anything. She felt her stomach tie up in knots. She knew relationships were complicated, especially for someone like her, but she couldn’t help herself. The way she fumbled her words when she was around him or forgot what she was saying was killing Emily on the inside.

Suddenly, Damon’s eyes looked up and met Emily’s gaze. Emily was startled as she looked down, tugging on her sleeve. She hadn’t realized she was staring at Damon for that long.

“Hey, Emily, whatchya so flustered for?”

Emily looked up to see who was talking.

“Nothing, Jake. I’m just hot.” She grabbed her collar and tugged it down.

“You got your mind on someone?”

“What! I—no, well, something like that...” She fumbled.

Sticking his tongue out, Jake nudged Emily.

“C’mon, if you like a guy, then just ask him out. It would be a shame if he doesn’t go with you.”

“Whatever, Jake.” She shifted her position so she got a better view of Damon.

Jake folded his arms, squinting at her.

“You’re a terrible liar.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “Am not.”

“You are. Every time you lie, you start messing with your sleeves.”

Emily immediately let go of her sleeve.

Jake grinned.

“...See?”

She groaned and shoved him lightly.

“You’re annoying.”

“Yet somehow I’m right.”

He leaned closer, lowering his voice.

“Who is it?”

Jake laughed.

“Relax, I’m messing with you.”

Emily finally laughed too, though nervously.

Ryan called from inside the house.

“If you two are done interrogating each other, the popsicles are melting.”

Damon got up from his spot and walked right back into the Walker house. Emily did the same, following him and sitting on the couch next to him. Close enough to make Emily’s heart melt but not close enough for it to be considered weird.

“Would y’all like some popsicles? My treat, of course.”

Ryan asked, already tossing Emily the orange one, Damon the purple, and Jake the green.

Tyler immediately stole Jake’s popsicle.

“Give it back.”

“Finders keepers.”

Ethan didn’t even look up from the newspaper.

“You’re both twenty and somehow still eight.”

Ryan laughed as he handed Ethan a popsicle.

“I swear you two just want a reason to fight.”

Emily smiled to herself. Some people would call them loud or messy. But her? She called it home. She could count on everyone. Everyone knew her so well. They remembered almost everything about her—her favorite foods, places, and drinks. She wasn’t quite sure if it was out of pity or care.

The person who knew her the most, though, was Damon. When she was too shy to order or say anything, Damon always had her back no matter what. Heck, he got into fights for her. He knew exactly what she wanted without her even mentioning a single thing.

Emily pulled out a small sketchbook from her jacket pocket. The edges were bent from carrying it everywhere.

She absentmindedly began sketching Ryan leaning over the kitchen counter while Tyler and Jake argued over the last popsicle. Drawing people was easier than talking to them. She’d always thought pencils made more sense than conversations.

Damon leaned in closer to Emily.

“You drawing us again?”

Emily instinctively shut the sketchbook.

“...Maybe.”

Damon chuckled.

“One day you’re gonna let me see one.”

“Not unless you want stick figures.”

“Liar, you know you have talent.”

“Damon, come over here!” someone yelled from outside.

Damon sighed as he got up, walking toward the door.

After a few seconds of silence, she heard Damon’s voice from outside.

“No way, are you fucking kidding me? Shit, I was going to go to the movies today too. Fucking Brandon.”

Slowly, she got up and walked outside to see what was going on.

“I can’t believe he slashed my tires. So what if I messed around at his party and put something in the pitcher? It’s not like I put a fucking drug in it.”

Tyler checked his watch.

“I don’t know, Damon, but he was pissed as hell. I don’t think you can use your car anytime soon.”

“Oh really? No shit.” Damon fumed.

Tyler shrugged. “Man, if you still want to go to the movies, you better get yourself a car, hitch a ride, or something.”

Damon groaned loudly. Emily could tell he was pissed by the way he was standing. He looked like he could pick a fight with pretty much anyone at this point. When he was this mad, the only person who could actually talk to him without pissing him off was definitely her. For some reason, he never took his anger out on her.

Damon tilted his head back as he sighed, looking at the Walker door.

“Hey Ryan, you think you can lend me a car from your work?” he asked.

“Sure, Damon. Just bring it back in decent condition... at least...” Ryan shuddered, remembering what happened to his last car.

“Of course, no problem. I always do.”

“You say that every time,” Ryan mumbled, shaking his head while throwing Damon the keys to an old but nice blue Ford Mustang.

“Thanks.” Damon grinned at the car keys, forgetting what pissed him off in the first place. “Do any of y’all wanna come?” Damon said while taking out his cigar to light it.

“Nah, I don’t think I can. Me and Steve took the night shift,” Ryan said, still with his popsicle in hand.

“Wait, I probably can—” Jake chimed in before Ethan cut him off.

“I got that extra shift tonight, and Jake, you’re not going anywhere. You have to study for your test,” Ethan commented.

“Ugh, you’re so strict!” Jake complained, crossing his arms.

“I have a date with Marcia tonight, sooo...” Tyler grinned.

“How about you, Emily?” Jake asked, cocking his head to the side.

“I might be able to go. I don’t have anything I was going to do anyway.”

This was the very chance she was waiting for to get closer to Damon. Still, she was afraid. What if she messed something up or embarrassed herself? Emily tried to shake those thoughts away as Damon began to speak.

“Emily, hey, are you listening?”

“What—yeah, sorry... I—continue.”

Here was Damon talking to her, and she could barely keep her words straight.

“Is it okay with you if I pick you up around 7-ish? I think the movie starts at 7:30 or something like that.”

Emily’s eyes shifted around the room.

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” added Damon.

“No!” Emily said. Her voice came out louder than she intended.

“I just meant... no, I do want to go,” she said much lower, feeling the blush rising up as it bloomed across her face.

Emily could swear she saw a small grin on Damon’s face.

“Okay, I’ll see ya then, Em.”

And with that, Damon walked off.

She watched Damon walk away until he disappeared, dumbfounded as she walked back inside and lay on the couch. She contemplated what to wear. She knew it wasn’t a date or anything near that, but the thought of being with Damon by herself made her knees go weak. She didn’t have much clothes and didn’t dare go to her parents’ house to ask for some. She knew that would only end badly. So she decided to ask Jake.

“Hey, Jake?”

She came around the corner and into Jake’s room.

Jake looked up from the book he was reading.

“Yeah, Emily?”

“Hey, do you have any nice jackets or some gel? I ran out.”

An absolute lie. She didn’t own any nice denim jackets other than the one she always wore, and, well, the gel she used? It was the cheap kind, the only one she could afford.

Jake looked a bit confused at the sudden question but nonetheless answered.

“Yeah, I have some in the closet over there,” he said, waving his hand toward the closet next to a huge pile of clothes. “And for the gel, just look in the bottom drawer in the bathroom. You’ll find it there.”

“Okay, thanks, Jake!” Emily said with a grin on her face.

“Say, Emily?”

“Yeah?”

“How come you want the jacket or gel? You rarely care about that,” Jake continued.

“Are you doing it for someone, by any chance?”

Shoot, could Jake have known? She knew Jake noticed everything and was smart, but she never knew he would notice the smallest things! Was it the way she acted around Damon? It couldn’t be, right?

After a few seconds of silence, Emily spoke up.

“Gee, I don’t know, Jake. I guess I jus’ wanna try doing stuff more? Life is so short and—”

Emily couldn’t even recount all the excuses she came up with. All she could remember was that Jake just got tired of it and let her off the hook.

Emily grabbed the first jacket she saw out of the closet and went to the bathroom to style her hair.

She opened the bottom drawer and took out the expensive gel and an old comb, and she began to style her hair. It took her some time to fix her hair. It would have taken less, but she spent too long overthinking which style suited her best.

She took her sketchbook out of her old, worn-out jacket and then took off her jacket. She desperately needed a new one; hers was not only old but had also lost some of its color. Emily realized it wasn’t the time to think, or else she would waste even more time. Shaking the thoughts away, she pulled on Jake’s jacket and shoved her sketchbook into the pocket.

It looked much better than her usual one, and she could feel her face turn hot at the thought of seeing Damon soon. She decided to go back to Jake’s room one more time to return the hanger. She had accidentally taken it with the jacket.

As she walked in, Jake closed his book, his face forming into a frown.

“I don’t buy it.”

Emily blinked.

“What?”

Jake held up a finger.

“First, you never borrow my jackets.”

“...”

A second finger.

“You don’t use hair gel.”

“...”

A third finger.

“You’ve changed clothes twice.”

Emily stared at him, at a loss for words, as Jake held up a fourth finger, trying not to grin.

“And you spent fifteen minutes fixing your hair.”

Emily felt her stomach drop.

“...You’ve been timing me?”

“I got bored.”

Emily nervously shifted on her feet.

Jake laughed.

“C’mon.”

Silence. What would she even say?

He folded his fingers back down.

“You like someone.”

“...”

“Emily.”

“...”

“You don’t have to tell me who.”

She probably should have known he would figure something out sooner or later. He isn’t dumb, after all.

“I just don’t want you thinking you’ve gotta hide everything from us.”

Emily’s breath slightly sped up as she looked down at the floor.

“I know.”

Her voice barely came out as a whisper.

Another silence.

Jake leaned back, his arms crossed.

“...It’s Damon, isn’t it?”

Emily didn’t dare look up. She knew the smallest expression on her face would give her away immediately.

Jake watched her for a second.

Then sighed.

“...Huh.”

Emily tugged on her sleeve, playing with the loose ends of the jacket. She bit her lip and decided to say something—anything that would make Jake think otherwise. She began rambling, her mouth moving faster than her brain.

“What? No! Why would you think—”

Jake held up a hand.

“I was joking.”

Emily stopped almost instantly, tugging on her sleeve harder.

Jake scratched the back of his neck.

“...Mostly.”

Emily glanced at the clock. It was already 7:01. Jake noticed and looked back at the clock, then opened his book.

“You should go. You don’t want to be late.”

With that, she made her way to the door. Damon would be here any second.

Emily took a deep breath to calm her nerves and sat on the stoop as she pulled out a cigarette and a lighter. Right on cue, Damon’s car screeched as it turned the corner and stopped in front of the Walker house.

The windows were down, and Emily could see the cigarette in Damon’s mouth, one hand resting on the wheel while the other moved the cigarette from his lips as he blew out the smoke.

“Get in, Emily. Whatcya waiting for?” he said in an irritated tone.

Emily decided not to ask and slipped into the passenger seat. She could feel her face turn a rosy red just being near Damon. Both embarrassed and flustered, she decided to look out the window and use her hand to cover some of her face, all in an attempt to shield Damon’s view of her. Despite that, all Emily could think about was the thought that there might be a small chance. The slimmest of chances that her and Damon could be together. Usually, when she had thoughts like this, she pushed them away, but this time it felt different. Maybe it was because Damon was so close to her, maybe it was the heat from outside, maybe it was because she couldn’t believe they were going to the movies together... alone. Whatever it was, Emily let the thought linger. She stared outside, the cool breeze brushing against her hot, red skin.

A loud sigh from Damon shook Emily from her daydream. Emily had totally forgotten that Damon was obviously still pissed at whatever got on his nerves. For a second, Emily thought Damon had somehow read her messed-up thoughts and was disappointed—though she knew it wasn’t possible, it truly felt like it in the moment. However, Emily knew that whenever Damon sighed like this, it usually meant he had mostly gotten over whatever annoyed him. Trying to get her mind off those thoughts about Damon, she decided to ask.

“Umm, Damon, what bothered you? You looked so pissed earlier...” Emily asked, although it sounded more like a stuttering and jumbling mess.

Damon leaned back in his seat and cocked his head slightly toward Emily, stealing a glance before looking back at the road.

“Oh, fuck it. It’s nothing. Don’t worry your pretty little head over it.”

Emily felt her mouth open and then close. The sentence died before she could even say it.

She was already up in the clouds earlier, and now she felt even higher up. She wanted to tell Damon that he could tell her, that she would understand, but instead all she could think about was what Damon had just said.

Pretty.

She could already feel the rosy hue crawling up her neck and settling into her face and ears.

She slowly moved her hand and placed it on her chest as if her heart had an on-and-off switch she could use to stop its rushed beating. The only thing keeping Emily from awkward silence was the loud drumming vibration of the car, which soon came to a stop as Damon pulled up to the movie theater.

Emily opened the car door and got out, then started walking behind Damon. She was still very much red, trying desperately to look down at the ground where she was walking, occasionally looking up to stare at Damon, but never for too long or long enough for him to notice.

“Do you want to grab us a seat? I’ll go get the pop and snacks,” Damon asked, already taking out his wallet.

“Oh—I, well, um... y-yeah, I’ll get us a seat...” She was still looking at the ground. She would do anything to avoid Damon’s eyes.

Damon nodded and disappeared among the crowd while Emily just stood there, unable to speak or think. Trying to clear her mind, she made her way to the seats. She chose a more secluded row, one farther back, but not far enough for them to have a bad view of the movie.

They were just friends. Yes, exactly—just friends! Friends that were going out. Friends going out alone at the movies, all by themselves. Friends who could hold hands. Friends who could make ou—No, nope. Emily could not let herself think like that. Not when Damon was so close by.

Emily took a deep breath, hoping it would do something to calm her nerves. The lights in the theater dimmed as the trailers were about to play. Just in time, Damon walked in, and Emily waved her hand to help him see where she was sitting. After spotting Emily, Damon started walking toward their row. Emily tried to mentally prepare herself just a few seconds before Damon came.

Damon slid right into the seat next to her, cool and composed. The complete opposite of Emily, who was, in fact, still struggling to keep her thoughts straight and normal.

The movie trailers began to play, filling the dark theater with colors. Emily tried to focus on the screen. She really did, but her eyes kept drifting toward Damon. He looked completely invested in the previews, one arm resting lazily on the armrest.

Emily quietly reached into the jacket pocket.

Her sketchbook.

She hesitated for a moment. One quick sketch wouldn’t hurt, she thought. It wasn’t like she’d never drawn him before. Besides, he wasn’t looking.

Slowly, she flipped to a blank page and pulled out the little pencil she always kept tucked inside the spiral. She began with a few light strokes, outlining his profile as the light from the projector flickered across his face. She wasn’t trying to make it perfect, just something to keep her hands busy before she embarrassed herself thinking about him again.

She had barely gotten halfway through when Damon suddenly turned his head.

Emily nearly dropped the sketchbook.

Without thinking, she slammed it shut and hugged it against her chest.

Damon raised an eyebrow.

“...Were you drawing?”

Emily’s face instantly burned.

“W-What? No—I mean...” She looked down at the sketchbook in her lap before realizing how stupid that sounded. “I wasn’t drawing you.”

A grin slowly spread across Damon’s face.

“I never said you were.”

Emily covered her face with one hand.

“Oh my God...”

A quiet laugh escaped Damon. It wasn’t his usual sarcastic chuckle or the laugh he used when making fun of Jake. It sounded... genuine.

“I’m just messing with you.”

Emily looked down at her notebook again.

She mumbled an excuse.

“I just like to practice drawing, y’know? Like getting better technique and—”

“Yeah, mhmm. Just practicing. Had nothing to do with me, right?” Damon smirked, reaching for another handful of popcorn.

She hugged the sketchbook a little tighter.

“Well, you’re never seeing what’s inside.”

Damon turned to look at her again.

“We’ll see about that.”

Emily rolled her eyes, unable to stop the smile creeping onto her face.

For the first time since getting into the car, the knot in her stomach loosened just a little. She let out a quiet laugh, and before she knew it, Damon was smiling too as the movie finally faded onto the screen.