Espousal

His hands are warm and firm on my throat, lightly squeezing the base as to not damage me. My legs are wrapped around his waist…

…and I can’t really think of anything right now. The room is pretty silent in the house but my thoughts just refuse to flow. Since inspiration isn’t coming to me anytime soon I’ve started a little diary in hopes that greatness comes from my ordinary life. As per usual first entries are not too interesting but I bet everyone knows that. Until my next entry,

Michelle Najimi

My wedding day was really an amazing ordeal. We decided to go to the beach (so original lol) since we were going to have a multipart honeymoon. Savannah was stifling hot but the best thing about southern heat is that everyone’s clothes can be airy. My own wedding dress was short in the front but trailing in the back in beautiful shades of lavender and amethyst that fluttered in the wind. I wanted a change from the traditional white wedding dress. My husband-to-be looked fascinating in a very simple black and white tux (I know he was burning up but he insisted) with a bright red ribbon tying back his hair. I wore a similar red ribbon in my kinky up-do. Just between the two of us it was our take on the Red String of Fate legend but I’m not sure if anyone else caught it.

My father walked me down the aisle but the good Pastor Winderson was in a bittersweet mood. Being a man of God since before I was born I knew he envisioned his daughter marrying someone of the same beliefs and was quite upset when we announced our engagement to the family. I remember his eyes welling up with happiness and sadness; his heart was happy for me but it was breaking at the same time. I couldn’t hold eye contact with him for long.

As he gave me away to my husband I remember his hardened look. He didn’t dislike Osirion but he couldn’t get over the fact that he wasn’t Christian. I know everyone back home called me a fool for being willfully unevenly yoked on this day and days forward, often quoting 2 Corinthians 6:14 &15 when talking about this day. Ironic enough nobody can offer a rebuttal when I tell them 1 Corinthians 7:13 &14 other than to chalk up my rebelliousness and let me be.

The after party was amazing though. Both of our families came to celebrate the merging of the family trees. We had everything from BBQ, spicy gumbo, and collard greens to kazunoko (herring roe), Kombu (kelp), sekihan (red azuki beans rice) with two cakes---a layered white cake and a sushi cake. Honestly both families had plenty of food to try for the first time. I helped my new husband through his first batch of gumbo filled to the brim with crawfish, okra, sausage, shrimp, and other sea bounty and he offered me plenty of kazunoko for both of us. My in-laws were game for trying everything no matter the taste and my family first tasted the food before making a face so everyone had a good time.

My new little brother Toshiro was just a trip. He was only Osi’s junior by five years which is enough for both a healthy relationship and a sibling rivalry. He differed from his big brother by having a beard and keeping his hair short. This dude brought both of us two plates of fresh fruit, mostly pineapple, to the table. Our family members were seated beside us, most notably our mothers and fathers, and said “A little pre-honeymoon measure for the new couple.” It took a minute for my father to catch on to his meaning. I face palmed in embarrassment.

Angel and Raven also came to my wedding. My father mumbled something about homosexuality when he saw the couple kiss with a look on his face. I knew it was a little to grasp the unconventional company I keep and I was grateful that he stayed the whole time. It was a good day all in all.

Sometimes I wonder just how Angel and I are friends. I love Angel and her sapphire style to pieces doesn’t get me wrong but home girl gets more twisted than a pretzel (I know this literally). She called me up for drinks before noon which was the first indicator that some tea was going to be spilled. She enjoys a good drink but never before noon except on a bad day. I put on my listening ears and hit up the bar she was currently seated. She sat in the middle of the bar with a bowl of assorted olives, a martini, and a plate of untouched bruschetta. I knew something was up.

Her face was a mixture of confusion and outright terror. I’ve known Angel since high school and she didn’t show fear to anyone or anything. In one breath she told me the most startling thing she’s ever said, “I’ve been cheating on Raven.” Angel and Raven are the college sweethearts of everyone’s dreams. They lived, loved, and laughed together. Angel is vibrant and outgoing, always dressed in shades of kawaii with her shocking blue hair paired with light caramel skin. Raven is a woman of long sleeves, dark colors, body piercings (TMI Angel), sarcastic humor, and fangs. She is also pale as a sheet but the two contrast beautifully.

The look on my face gave my curiosity away. I grab a piece of toasted bread and start to eat. She takes a gulp of her drink and orders the bartender to get me any drink I wanted. The fact that she wanted to get some booze in my system before starting worried me. The level of ‘Girl I really fucked up’ was going to be epic.

“Michelle I really fucked up.” She paused to let me drink some of my pomegranate margarita, “I’ve been fucking up with Toshiro.”

I wasn’t expecting that. First I didn’t know that Angel was bisexual and second, she was sleeping with my husband’s little brother? This type of stuff I can’t make up.

“Since college cause I know that look on your face!” She beat me to the how long punch.

“How did you two even meet? How did this turn into an affair?” She was right; I was going to need all the food and alcohol I could stand before twelve for this.

“You know I did study abroad in Japan for a semester?” She popped an olive in her mouth, “We meet in the karaoke bar one night. He was dressed in a sharp suit and hat just chilling. I just went over to be friendly. We sang some songs, hung out, and he even walked me back to the dorms. It was all just cool, safe fun.”

“The affair didn’t start there did it?” I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach asking that question. Of course it didn’t start at that moment.

“That started after he came back to the States.” My intuition was correct, “It was all cool the first night we all hung out. Raven had class early and couldn’t hang with the four of us.”

“…you slept with him on that night?” I couldn’t hide my shock and surprise. That was years ago…and she’s just telling me now?

“Yep.” She just ate an olive, “We were drinking after you and Osi decided to do some kinky shit.”

I gave her ‘that look’ at her comment, “How would you know?”

“You can’t stay quiet very well.” She laughed at my flustered face, “I heard the sound of a paddle and was like ’Damn, I didn’t know they got down like that.’ and we just erupted in laughter.”

Well I see it wasn’t a secret. I couldn’t help but laugh at my own embarrassment, “Well now you know.”

“Yeah, and I found out that night just how similar the brothers are.” I almost spit out some of my drink. That man was my little brother (in law) and I didn’t want to know about his sexual appetite, “I wouldn’t know about Osirion but Toshiro is pretty big into humiliation. From what we heard I would guess that your husband is a pain type of guy?”

“I’m not telling you.” I flagged the bartender for another drink.

“Meh.” She shrugged before taking her shot. I felt the burn from the expression on her face, “He was an overwhelming experience and you know that’s not a light statement. He was every bit the humiliating dominant type but…I was incredibly turned on.”

“What did he do?” Now I was curious. Angel is no sexual prude so he must have been something to still impress her.

“It was the ways he said what he said more than actions that night.” She started to play with her blue locks, “He called me every name he could: whore, bitch, slut and the list goes on. You could hear the possession in his voice and we were just fucking around.”

“Maybe you just like humiliation?” Those olives were starting to appear delicious. I couldn’t let her have them all.

“Yeah. Is the older brother also into humiliation or…?”

“Huh?” I gave her an odd look, “You want to have this conversation with me?”

She gave me a smile, “Who am I going to tell?”

Oh Lord. I rolled my eyes at her statement, “Just a little bit of info.”

“That’s all I will ever need.” She shuttered, “I already heard enough and that was years ago.”

“He’s not into the name calling.” I finished my drink and ordered some water, “You guessed right about the pain. I mean, he’s pretty dominant most of the time but I get my fair share of dominating moments.”

“They are a bit different then.” She gives me a melancholy smile, “It was only supposed to be for that night but…we didn’t stop. I even told him about Raven and he backed off but we didn’t stop.”

“…have you told Raven about this?” Her silence was all the answer that I needed to know.

Oh hell.