In search of solace
It’s been a month already, and I still haven’t been able to determine the reason behind my situation. I’m troubled by restless nights and a complete lack of appetite, leaving me feeling uneasy and uncomfortable. It feels as though I’ve lost myself amidst the city’s chaos like a solitary moon drifting through an endless sky, surrounded by countless stars that shine the same, while I remain the only one different. It feels like I’m carrying a burden of pain that has lasted for eternity, and I’m not even sure why.
With these thought weighting on me, I stepped out of the room with my headphones on and my phone in hand. Dancing has always been a form of therapy for me. It’s around 11:30 PM. The surrounding lights have already turned off, but the moon’s silver beams cast a soft glow across the sky, bright enough for me to watch my dance moves reflected in the glass-mirrored window. Moving in sync with the rhythm of the song, I let my body flow effortlessly. At first, it feels wonderful like I’m flying and free of stress. However, as I continue, the unease that distressed me earlier starts to resurface. Despite doing this for the past few days, the results remain unchanged. Ugh, I’m feeling so hopeless right now.
I’m seeking something captivating to pull me away from these troublesome thoughts, something that offers peace and helps me reconnect with my inner self. I yearn for an experience that lets me escape this burdensome world and transports me to a serene dreamland where I can truly find solace and joy.
Suddenly, the music paused as an advertisement popped up. “These ads always disrupt my flow,” I muttered irritably as I moved toward the chair where I’d left my phone. As I was about to skip the ad, I found myself inexplicably drawn to continue watching. It was a local ad for a bookstore, and something about it captured my full attention. I immediately decide to plan a visit to the bookstore, hoping that reading a book might offer me a path to peace.
With that thought lingering, I made my way to my room and locked the door behind me. As soon as the lock clicked, a chilling sensation crept up my spine, making me feel as though someone was standing right behind me. Fearful thoughts raced through my mind, and I squeezed my eyes shut. Slowly, with fear gripping me, I began to turn around, my mind racing with a thousand possibilities. Suddenly, I remembered a random conversation with my friend srisha. She once mentioned that the house across the street had a history of murder, with the body supposedly buried in the bare land beside it. Some neighbor's claimed to have experienced strange activities, and those who witnessed them reportedly fell ill for days. I clenched my fists and opened my eyes, only to find my sister standing in front of me, arms crossed, giving me a deadly stare.
Before she could speak, I blurted out, “Bro, you scared me! Do you know what I was just thinking about? The incident srisha told me about a few days ago. Gross, it felt like it was my last day!”
She rolled her eyes and replied, “Stop with the drama! For God’s sake, it was just a made-up story. And you’re the one who scared me…where were you?” Ignoring her question, I went to my bed and lay down, covering myself with a blanket. She continued, “Look, every time I ask you something, you do this. And because you left the light on, I never get a peaceful night’s sleep…” she started cursing me for disturbing her rest.
I wanted to research that bookstore right away, but I knew my sister wouldn’t let me do it now. So, I decided it would be better to look into it tomorrow morning. I made sure to remember the name of the store and its address, quickly jotting them down in my notes before setting my phone aside.
