Has Potential but needs to be worked on.

"Your story has a lot of promise but the way you execute it matters. The company was 'saved' too easily, not much conflict here. I feel the hero gave in to the board easily as well, founders usually fight hard. I couldn't sense the intense emotion of a founder losing his hardwork when i was reading this. Try to work on this again but with more emotions. Plan your plot again, make sure that you have a key event, turning point, crossroads, climax, and resolution. I feel your story has the potential to be really good but you need to work on the plot again. Your English is good but the execution of the plot can be improved. I wish you all the best in the competition though. "