Always And Forever Us

EVIES DIARY: when is this shit going to be over I get up and I pray everyday and it feels like nothing changes ever I am so ired and I try to say to myself all the time I am not going to give up but it is so damn hard saying the same thing everyday waiting for something in my world to fucking just go right I am so / EVIE mom screams from inside her room go check the mailbox and see if you see a thing in there with my name on it ok I say back to her I close my diary and put it away in my book bag and then get up and walk out my room to the front door area and garb the mailbox key from the key rack and walk outside to the mailbox

when I open it there is nothing inside hey eve I look up and Ryan the guy next door is walking his dog Minnie hey I say back and close the mailbox how are you he says good how about you i say amazing he says back would you mind watching Minnie this upcoming Saturday I have somewhere to be and I had dog sitter but she canceled sure I say back amazing he says also I can pay you five dollars an hour so I will try to be back in like four I laugh a little and say ok well I should head back in before my mom has a heart attack ok he says back and walks into his I go back inside

and scream to my mom there was nothing In there I knew she probably did not here a word that came out of my mouth because I could hear her on the phone with one of her friends I sat down the mailbox key on the rack again and go back to my room and when I look at my phone and see I got three missed calls from kaydas dealer I paid for are latest Dabs and I think he was probably calling to tell me to come pick them up I text him kaydas number then call kayda she doesn't answer so I text her I just gave the dealer her number and anything he says to her just tell me and the lo if he gives her one and that I am in the house with my mom so I can't answer for him

{ 2 HOURS LATER ] kayda text: he said he doesn't have them and we have to re schedule I am pissed with two crying face emojis I am going to bed love you heart emoji I roll over on my bed and turn side ways and text her back ok love you to i set down my phone and grab my remote to my tv and let whatever channel is playing play and click off my vanity light and close my eyes and go to sleep

{ CARMEOLS POV: } it was 11:34 at night I was up playing my game with my dawg sway then sway says bro I done playing with you're goofy ass because there is no way you keep fucking winning I pick up my blunt and smoke some off it then set it down nah bro you just don't know how to play cuh go you're goofy ass to bed bro sway says back no run that back again ok I say back I give him and redo and he lost again ok bruh I am going to bed I say to him and before he can respond I hang up the call I get up and throw my blunt in my mini trash can under my desk and walk over to my bed and lay down and stare at the celling

{ THE NEXT DAY } I wake up and hear wet clapping noises coming from my brother peters room my dad was at work so of course he snuck a girl he talks to so many females I couldn't even guess which one of them is in his room I get up take off my pajamas and which into a tank top sweats and sweatshirt and grab my phone 2 text from sway first text says why did you hang up call back bro second one says ok fuck you to then bitch and you only won because I was tired pussy ass bitch I chuckle a little then slip my phone into my pocket and go into the kitchen and grab some grapes out the fridge and plop 2 in my mouth then I put them back in the fridge and scream to my brother I am heading out I am going to lock the bottom lock I go over to the front door grab my bag from off the ground and walk out and head to school

{ EVIES POV: } I wake up turn over and look at my phone I only have ten minutes to get ready I hurry and get off my bed go in my closet and grab a tank top and some grey sweats and the matching jacket that came with it and my white Nikes I go into the bathroom and take a shower and brush my teeth and wash my face and do my skin care routine then I go into my room grab my phone again and check the time I am six minutes late I run out my room forgetting my backpack and rush out the front door if the school texts my mom I was absent again she is going to cuss me out

I get to the school about eight minutes later and as I walk in one of the front desk ladies say late again I roll my eyes why they write me a late pass I take it and go towards my locker and then I realize I forgot my backpack I turn around and walk towards my class room in go inside and hand him my pass and walk over to the empty seat in the back and put my head down then Mr Oliver says ok back to what I was saying we have an exam today it is thirty percent of everyone's grade and you will have a partner since the last time i let you guys pick and you guys all just picked you're friends and also didn't get any of the work done this time I will pick for you guys until you guys can learn to be mature and act your ages this test will be a consensus test if anyone has anything they want to ask ask now a student in the back says what if we picked are partners last time and actually did the work Mr Oliver replies and says well thank everyone else for not doing there work now and before he could keep talking the door opened and kayda walked in and walked to the seat next to me and sat down Mr Oliver kept talking and said I will write down y'all pairs now on the board then he starts writing kayda lays her head down and says to me what's wrong with you I say back nothing I am just tired went to sleep late and didn't eat dinner she digs in her purse and pulls out a Twinkie I take one and she takes the other and we eat them I finally look at the board and see I am partnered up with someone named carmelo

{ CARMELOS POV: } I walk in school late because I forgot to brush my teeth and had to go back to my house and brush them after getting my late pass I go put my backpack in my locker and go into class and sit down I looked at the board and I see the word partners then I read down the list and I see my name and someone named Evie I look around trying to see if I see someone that looks like a Evie I don't see anyone so I just lean back in my seat about five minutes later Mr Oliver was done writing down the names on the board and then said for everyone to find there partner I get up and ask about three people are they names Evie then someone taps on my shoulder twice I turn around and she says I am Evie then she grabs my arm and says come on we have to get the paper from Mr Oliver I let her guide me over to Mr Oliver's desk she gets the paper from him and then we walk out the classroom she turns around and looks at me and says we can meet up after school and do the exam and if you can't do that we can do it at the school tomorrow during free period I look at her and say we can do it after school I am free she says ok then puts her hand out I stare at her hand then she says you're phone in my head I think I am a complete idiot I pull out my phone and hand it to her after doing the password she types something in then hands it back to me and says I put my number in you're phone just text hi are something I will save you're number and then send you a place we can meet are you can text me one doesn't really matter this girl walks out the classroom and grabs her on and says you ready to go she shakes her head and then looks back at me and says bye and walks away then someone pushes me slightly I turn around and way and and sway and Larry around standing behind me sway says wassup goofy I roll my eyes and dap up Larry then he says you coming with us to the kickback tonight I shake my head and say nah I got a fucking exam and I have to meet up with this girl to do it with her sway looks at me and says I feel bad for you I look at him and say why he says because you missing out on a good time for some damn homework just ditch on her tell her you had something important to do I look at him and say nah bro I am just going to hurry and get it over with just so I don't have to do it next time Larry laughs then says ok then him and sway walk towards there next class I pull out my phone and check the time then walk to my next class

{ EVIES POV: } me and kayda sneak outta the school and walk to the corner store that is next to the school and get some slurpies and chips and she also got her some chocolate which we split and shared she told me about this guy that moved next door to her she had a crush which was kinda weird because he was twenty nine and we were sixteen I plop a chip in my mouth and say wont he be old as hell by the time you even get outta school she looks at me and says you sound like my mom we only live once and age is only a number boo she put the snacks back in the bag and said we gotta head back before class ends and Ms paddy sees we never came back in her class after school I text Carmelos number and send him my house address which after I did it I realized I am a complete dumbass because now he knows where I lay my head but the only reason I did it was because I didn't want to go somewhere real far not a good reason but its mime I get in my car and drive back to my house

I go inside and go get in the shower I put a towel around me and go inside my room I change into a a crop top and some shorts and I put my braids into a ponytail I pull out a blunt and start smoking it while scrolling threw some Instagram reels about an hour later someone rings at the door bell set down my phone and get up walk down the hallway and open the door its Carmelo I say hey and move over so he can come inside we go into my room and I take the paper out my backpack and set it on my bed I grab an old book and set it on top of the old book so it will be easier to write and then I grab my laptop and I sit down and look at him and say so what are we going to write about it has to be about something with crime and shit he says let look something up we end up deciding to do we ended up doing doing one about a robbery that happened close to my house about some girls boyfriend killing her outside this store close to my house I told him what to write and he wrote it down half way threw he picked up his phone and said he was going to doordash something here and did I want something I asked him what he was ordering and he said some wings I told him I wanted some original hot he said ok then a couple of minutes later I asked him do you want to take a break he looked at me and sat down then pen and said sure and pulled out his phone and started typing something on it and I turned on my tv and let this random show play while I scrolled on my phone also a few minutes later he got up and said he will go get the food from the door then he walked out the room then kayda sent me a picture of her neighbor on top of some random blonde chick naked I texted her back you dirty fucking slut stop watching that man having sex because if he looks over and sees you then what after I sent it I seen the bubble which meant she was replying then Carmelo walked back in the room

I put my phone on my bed faced down and then he set down the food and started un bagging everything I looked at his box of food and asked him what he got and he said spicy Korean Q I asked him can I taste one I which I realized he wasn't one of my friends after the fact that I asked he looked at me then his box of food opened it and handed me one I tried it and it tasted like actual shit it was to sweet but to be kind I said it was good he laughed then said why did you make that face i looked at him and said what face then he said like it tasted nasty and then I said it didn't it was good it is just something I wouldn't get again before he could respond the girl on the tv started fucking moaning I wanted to sink into the fucking ground at that moment I grabbed the tv remote and turned it off which the room was deadly silent after that I looked at him again and said I don't be watching shit like that this was just already playing he opened up his ranch and laughed and said nah its good we set and ate and talked about school and some kickback he was talking about going to who was all going to be there I say to him he dips his wing in his ranch then says just some people from school and some people I hang around then I say then why didn't you go and then he says because we have to do this exam I look at him and say it was today and he says yeah its still going on right now I look at him and say then lets go and he looks at me and says you wanna go to that instead of doing this and getting it over with I shake my head yes and say I can change into something more good looking and we can go and finish this tomorrow he looks at me and sighs and then says ok I get up and close my laptop and put the paper back in my bag and go in my closet and grab a black dress I take my hair out the ponytail and grab some black Nike air forces and then he says we have to stop at his house so he can change also I say ok then grab my stuff and go in the bathroom and change after I come back in the room and say lets go

we go out to his car and he drives to his house and goes inside I stay in the car and look back at my phone I see kayda texted back I look what she said I am not no slut I just happened to look out my window and see him giving her back shots and he looks so fucking good naked as I was watching I was imagining me on that bed legs open and him just doing his thing I am cumming even thinking about it I text her back I don't want to know all that you need help I send two laughing emojis then the car door opens up and carmelo gets back in he has on a black button up which he left some unbuttoned and some black sweats we look at each other for a second then he says you ready to go I say yes then look back at my phone and keep texting kayda

{ CARMELOS POV: } we got to the party and split up I walked over to sway and Larry and adian they were drinking a lot I came over and took the drink out Larry and adians hands and set them down then I took sways drink and said y'all need to chill on the drinks sway dapped me up then said I thought you was studying i looked at him and said I was but I stopped because my partner wanted to come here Larry looked at me and says yeah you missed the hot dog race and spin the bottle and briella and Priya got into a cat fight I chuckled a littile then grabbed a drink and chugged it down and said to them that's all I am drinking tonight see how I can control my liquor Aidan laughed and patted my back and says when did you slow down on the liquor I look at him and say I been slowed down sway said wasn't you just smoking yesterday when we was playing the game I look at him and say I said liquor

{ EVIES POV: } I was walking threw the party and walked over to this area where someone was selling Nicotine Blunts and Powder I asked the guy selling them how much is it for a blunt he said nine dollars I sent it to him on cash app and took it and walked outside and smoked it after I went back in and drunk three drinks I knew this was bad I don't know what I was thinking the world looked like it was spinning I started to feel light headed I started to have flashbacks of the abuse me and my mom went threw with my stepdad my head was everywhere and then one thing I try not to think about when my stepdad came back drunk and fucked up and everything went left from there I walked over to a corner and sat there some random girl walked over and asked was I good I said yeah and she handed me a water and walked off with the people she came with I drank some of the water and then put my head onto my knees and sat there

{ CARMELOS POV: } it had been two hours and Aidan left and sway was flirting with some girls and Larry walked off with some guys from school I told sway and Larry I was about to leave the party I went to look for Evie so we could leave but I couldn't find her anywhere I asked three people did they see her each person said no and one of them said they don't even know who she is I thought she probably just left are something and on my way out the place I see her sitting in a corner I come over to her and ask if she is good she says yes and I say you ready to go she shakes her head yes I grab her hand and help her up she smells like straight up liquor I ask her again is she fine she says yeah

I help her into the car and I start driving towards her house she says don't go there my mom will cuss me out if she knew I was out partying and drinking i asked her where did she want me to take her then she said just drive around right now and give her a hour are two to sober up I drove over to this to this river area me and my friends usual go and smoke and shit at she got out the car and said she was going to go and walk I got out the car and also started walking I asked her how many drinks did she drink then she held up three fingers and kept walking then she said not a lot I drink more then that sometimes I looked at her and said do you get fucked up like this all the time she shakes her head no and says I don't know what happened this time we walk a little bit more then stop then she says thanks for not just leaving me there I look at her and say why would I just leave you there she stops and I also stop and she says because not everybody would have helped me she laughs a little and says like at the party when I was sitting down this girl handed me some water and asked was I good and walked away after not like she should have stopped but it kinda like that's why I am saying thanks I say well I guess you're welcome then she walks closer to me and kisses me

{ EVIES POV: } I don't know what I was thinking but I kissed him and it was hella embarrassing I probably look fast as fuck I pull away then say I am ready to go back home he says Evie and i just hurry and walk to the car I get inside and stare out the window wondering is it worth drowning myself in this water right now I just kissed a guy I didn't even meet twenty four hours ago when he gets in the car I act like I was trying to go to sleep after a couple of minutes he taps on my arm and I act like I was just waking up I say thanks for the ride and we can finish the exam in the morning because I am tired before he can respond I hurry and get out the car and go inside when I go inside I go in my room and lay down and stare at the ceiling

/ IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT / I wake up with a headache I go into the bathroom and take a Tylenol then I go in the kitchen and grab a glass of water and chug it down then I go in my room take off the dress and the shoes and throw them across the room and get in my bed and go to sleep / THE NEXT DAY / I wake up my head is still kinda beating and it smells like straight up weed which made my head hurt even more then my mom knocks at my room door then opens it I put the covers over myself then she says get up and start getting ready for school and this room fucking mess clean it then she turns around and walks out my room I get up and go and grab some black sweats and a white tank top and a black gap jacket and I also grab my black crocs I go in the bathroom and take a shower and brush my teeth and wash my face then I do my skincare and put on my outfit I put my braids in a half up half down style and then go back in my room and grab my phone and text the group chat with kayda and Miya in it and type bro I did some dumb shit last night I send it and Miya replies first and say I wish I went to school with y'all don't tell kayda until after school on call with me I will keep my phone close then kayda text no just text it to us now I reply and say so last night when I was doing the exam my partner was talking about some party and I was like I wanna go so I kinda get to drunk and after we left I told him don't me home right now and just drive around until I sober up a little so he stops somewhere and I get out to take a walk and he also gets out I really don't know why but he does and as we are walking and talking I just kiss him and it is so fucking embarrassing I don't want to go to school mind you we didn't even finish the exam with three crying face emojis before anyone can reply my mom says Evie go now I put my phone in my backpack and walk to my car and leave

{ CARMELOS POV: } I wake up and look at the time for once I am not late I get up and walk to my closet and grab a white Nike tech and white Nike air forces then I go in the bathroom and get in the shower and brush my teeth and wash my face after I put on my fit and go and grab my backpack and leave in the car I play some music and on my way over to the school I stop by a gas station and go inside and get a drink and some chips and a new charger because I felt like my was on the verge of breaking then the cashier says to me while ringing up my stuff hows you're day going I say good while looking in my wallet trying to find my cashapp card then he says well that's good then he says wanna buy any cigarettes I shake my head no and say I'm underage then I hand him my card he swipes it and I type in the pin then grab my bag and say thank you then leave when I get in the car I text sway I might be late cover for me then I put my phone up and start heading to the school

{ EVIES POV: } as I am sitting in class the doors open and Carmelo walks in I see him stare at me we make direct eye contact and at that moment I want to sink into my chair I pull out my textbook and just start writing anything then I dig in my bag and grab some work that was supposed to be done months ago then someone taps on me I look up and its Carmelo and he says you wanna finish the papers tonight then kayda walks in and sits in the seat next to me and starts acting like she is not listening I shake my head yes then say yeah sure then he says same place as last time then I say sure then he says ok and walks back over to his seat then kayda starts shaking me and the whispers oh my god girl I push her arm off me and whisper stop he is literally sitting close to us she rolls her eyes and starts nudging her elbow in to my arm after school

I get my backpack and hurry up out the door and think this to myself everything is going to be fine we are going to do the paper and be done the I go home and change into some blue and black Christmas pajama sweats and a black crop top I lay down and start setting up the paper and the book I set it on top of and the laptop then the doorbell rings I leave out my room and open the door and its Carmelo and I let him inside he follows me into my room and I ask him does he wanna use the computer are write he says he will write again I can feel him looking at me but I don't look back up after about forty six minutes which felt like forever we stop for a break I close my laptop and put it on the charger and move the paper to my nightstand and I use my phone then he says we need to talk I look up at him and he is already looking at me I set down my phone on the side of me and look at him and say about what and he says about the kiss me and him stare at each other then he says I don't want anything to be werid I say back nothing is werid and then he says you didn't even look at me in class today and I say I don't look at everybody is there a reason I should be looking at you and then he says yes because you kissed me and now acting like I don't exist and you don't just kiss someone and act like they were never alive we both stare at each other then he says I just don't want this to be werid I say ok then pick back up my phone I can feel him get off the bed then he walks over to where I am sitting and grabs my phone out of my hand I get up to grab it back and I say what are you doing then he throws the phone on the bed then kisses me I stand there for a second then kiss him back then his hands go to my waist lifting me up I wrap my legs around him then his hands move to my ass and then he lays me down on the bed and takes off his shirt I lift my hand up and he takes off my shirt then starts kissing me again then he takes off my bra and kisses around my boobs and then pulls down my pants and underwear then he pulls off his pants then starts kissing me again then kisses down my neck and all the way down to my pussy leaving me flush then he opened me and worked his tongue inside me leaving me gasping I grabbed on to his hair why he worked inside me after he got up and went inside me leaving me shivering and breathless why he moved in rhythm inside me after he shifted me and turned me over on my back arching why he went inside me from behind while holding onto my waist while I moaned his name and then he got down and opened me up from behind and worked his tongue inside me again while I clutched the sheets in pleasure and outta breath

/ AFTER / we laid on my bed while I traced random shapes around his chest I look over at my phone and tell him he is going to have to get going because my mom is going to be back soon he says ok then grabs onto my ass lifting me on him and kisses me after he lays me back down on the bed and gets up and starts putting back on his clothes after he walks over and kisses me again then leaves I lay there for a minute then grab my phone and call the group chat with kayda and Miya and say to them I]s anyone with you guys Miya says no and kayda says yes she is with her mom but she has her ear pods on then I say ok I just lost my virginity then kayda says to who and I say to Carmelo then Miya says who's that then kayda says some Korean guy she was working with on the project then kayda says how did it even happen I tell them both everything then Miya says oh my god that's making me hard even thinking about out I'm about to call my man over now me and kayda laugh then kayda says did you use a condom I say no then she says Evie are you dumb that so fucking unsafe you know you can get pregnant from that right i say yeah but lets pray I am not going to then I hear the front door open and I tell them I will call them back I put back on my outfit then walk out the room and my mom has a two bags in her hand she sets them on the counter then says I got chicken go get some plates I walk into the kitchen and grab two plates and bring them back in and set them down on the counter my mom starts putting chicken and fries on both plates and then she hands me mine then her phone starts ringing she answers it and starts talking to whoever she is on the phone with about something that happened at work I take my plate and go up to my room and eat

{ CARMELOS POV: } I get home and pull into the parking lot of are apartment complex there is swab of policies I get out the car and start walking towards where they are all standing when I see my dad being carried out on one of those hospital things I try to push pass the police and they hold me back and my brother is walking down the stairs talking to the police when he gets down the stairs and sees me he walks towards me he looks like he had been crying when he gets next to me he hugs me and says he is gone man he is gone my head starts hurting and before I can even speak my eyes water up I feel like the world is ending my dad was all I had and my brother was standing next to me saying he was gone I see my moms car pull up and her get out crying she runs up to the police and starts begging them to answer her questions and they were trying to get her to calm down I couldn't take it I turn around and get in my car and drive it started to get late I was fed up annoyed broken and I couldn't go to anyone I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone I lost my dad my ride are die my everything I pull up to the back of a corner store and sit outside and I pick up my phone and call this dealer my friend sent me he answered on the third ring I tell him I need something strong like tonight the strongest thing you got he says who is this I reply with Carmelo but you can call me a men that is about to be dead if I don't get something strong enough by tonight he says ok I got you I will send you a place but it is going to be seventy dollars just to let you know I say ok and hang up he sends me a picture of a drug and he also send the same something called SNRIs I meet him and hour later at the side of some abandon looking house I send him the money and he gives me the drug I take two of the pills and pull my seat back and lay there looking at the top of the car my mom calls me I answer and say hello she says where are you I say back to her taking a drive I am on my way back she says ok and I hang up I sit there for a couple more minutes then pull up my seat and drive back to the house the police and everyone is gone now I go up the stairs and stand by the door for a minute then unlock it and go inside my mom is sitting on the couch with her head on her lap I walk over and rub her back and ask her where Peter is she says he left earlier with his girlfriend a couple minutes after I left I hug her I am pissed how could he seriously at a time leave with a bitch how can he even think about female when his dad just died i pick up my phone and was about to text him but then I hear my mom starts crying again I sat down my phone and sit with her until she falls asleep which I fall asleep right after her

/ THE NEXT DAY / I wake up head beating I get up and my mom is already gone I go over to my brothers room and knock and his door he opens it I ask him where he was all night and he says I nowhere why I raise my voice slightly and say why the fuck did he leave mom at the house by herself in a moment like this and he says he was also going threw it and I say and she was to but you didn't give a fuck he looks at me and says I am not about to argue with you today is not the day he trys to close his door and I push it back open and say when is it going to be the day then he says not anytime soon I push his door open more and there is a girl wrapped in sheets Iook at him and say I thought you were better then this you run to a bitch when the person who raised you dies you need fucking help you sick fucking basterd her calls my name is a turn around and walk into my room to get ready for school wasn't on my bucket list to go but for my moms sake I got up and got ready to go I change into a black tank top and black sweats with white strings I put on some all black shoes and grab a jacket and I go in the bathroom and brush my teeth I know I look crazy today my hair and everything but I really don't care I walk out the bathroom and my brother is standing there I push pass him and walk to the counter I left my keys on and grab them he says my name again but I flip him off and walk out the apartment and go down the stairs and get in my car and leave

{ EVIES POV: } I woke up this morning in a amazing mood I check the time and I have a whole hour to get ready I get up go in my closet and grab a yellow crop top and yellow sweats and some white Crocs I put my braids in a bun and I go in the bathroom and take a shower and wash my face and brush my teeth and do my skincare then I put on my outfit I also grab some gold jewelry like my necklace my mom got me for Christmas last year and two bracelets I got from the mall with kayda and Miya two years ago I go in my room and grab my phone and backpack i grab my car keys and leave

I stop at Starbucks since I still have time to spare and get a iced coffee with foam and a cake pop I then I head to the school I call Miya on my way there hey I say to her hey where you on you're way to she says back school why are you not up I say she says back because I am not going today don't feel good i say back are do you just not want to go she says back no bitch I started my period and my stomach cramps are fucking with me i say back I can stop by after school and bring you some stuff she says back you are going to drive forty six minutes for me so sweet see you after you get outta school I say back ok see you cry baby before she can reply I hang up when I get to the school I sit in the car for a minute and scroll on TikTok until the busses arrive I go inside the school and put my backpack in my locker and finish my drink then throw the cup in the garbage including my cake pop stick then I head to my first class and kayda comes in and sits next to me and she says guess what babe I look at her and say what and she says my fine ass neighbor he paid me to babysit is daughter I look at her say bitch he has a kid and she says yes I could have sworn I told you already but I said yes and I am supposed to be babysitting her this week for 9 dollars an hour I look at her and say baby no that's weird you guys have a forteen year age gap and he has a child she looks at me and rolls her eyes and says its not like me and him are dating I just have a crush on him he probably looks at me like his daughter he is in his fucking twenty's calm down fun police then the doors open again and Carmelo walks in he walks in and walks over to his chair and sits down I get up and walk over to his desk and ask him does he wanna finish the exam tonight actually he stays looking at his desk and says nah can't I say you ok he stays looking at the desk and says yeah but his voice cracks I look at him and then Mr Oliver walks in and says ok good morning everyone I hope y'all's exam is atleast halfway finished because we turn them in In three days then he grabs a chalk and starts writing on the board after class

I walk up to Carmelo in the hallway and stop him and say you good he stays looking at the ground and says yeah then opens his locker and grabs one of his textbooks out then I ask him did I do something he ignores me so I say Carmelo he finally looks at me his eyes where red and his hair was all messy then he says Evie today is not the day then he closes his locker and walks around me I follow behind him and say Carmelo and he keeps walking so I let him and walk the other way I feel disgusted image losing you're virginity to someone and them clearly saying fuck you for no reason I see why my mom said to be careful on who you give you're body to I feel like shit

{ CARMELOS POV: } I skip lunch and instead just sit under the school bleachers outside and scroll threw my phone I think in my head my i don't want Evie to feel like shit but at the same time right now I am going threw something and she is worried about the wrong things I know she doesn't know why I am mad but if someone doesn't want to talk she doesn't need to be trying to forces it outta them thats deadass annoying and I'm not peter I don't need no female to make me feel better about my parent passing I use my phone for the rest of the time I am out there then I go back inside and head to my next class then sway walks up to me and says aye bro why haven't you called me recently I say back because I been busy then he changes his voice and says what I said to him then Larry and Aidan also butt there way into the conversation I really don't care to be having then Larry looks at me and says you look dead I say yeah ruff night then he says yeah we all had ruff nights but not that ruff then him and all them start talking again when we get by my next class I look at them and say gotta go then I go into my next class when I come in I see Evies friend kayda the one she sits with all the time I would be lying if I said I was happy she was in the same class with me I go to the back and put my head down the whole class and during any other class that day as I walk out the school building I see Evie walking towards her car when she gets over to her car she glances at me then looks away gets in her car and drives off I get in my car and start heading home on my way there I throw two more pills in my mouth

{ EVIES POV: } I sit on the phone with kayda and Miya on a group call while on my way to miyas house with some stuff I brought like snacks are this heating cover I brought off Amazon a while back I try my hardest to not think about Carmelo how much of a bitch he is I get to miyas house so I hang up the group call and knock at the door her mom opens the door and says hey baby how are you she pulls me into a hug and asks why am I there I say I got Miya some stuff because she isn't feeling well she looks at me and says well you might as well stay for dinner then baby come in we will be having else also coming for dinner also and since I overcooked there will also be enough to bring back her something I smile at her and say ok and think in my head why is this bitch talking to me like I am a charity case I make my way over to Miyas room when I come in I give her the snacks then give her a kiss on the forehead we sit and talk about damn there everything manly how are life's are going to be after high school in the middle of me talking she digs under her bed and grabs out some weed she hands me one and we smoke them then we talk about boys and all this other stuff she tells me about her boyfriend breaking up with her and I tell her about Carmelo's bitch move as we are talking her mom screams I am about to go to the store to get more paper towels and ice I will be right back then me and Miya keep talking then Miya grabs her phone and turns to her side and says I am about to start dating girls at this point I got some fine ass bitchs in my DM.s I laugh and we keep talking about a hour later her mom comes back and she screams from down stairs come eat y'all we both come down stairs and right when i turn the corner

I am face to face with William also my old stepdad I start feeling like I can't breath I am lost for words the same men that hurt me and my mom the same one I was told I will never have to see again and now me and him are less then two feet away from each other then miyas mom says this is my boyfriend William William my daughter Miya and her friend Evie he puts his hand out for me to shake it then same hands that touched me in places it shouldn't have then I say I gotta go my voice cracks on the last two words and then I walk past everyone and leave

I get in my car I see Miya come out but I can't be around her right now I drive out there drive way and drive to some random parking lots all I feel is my body shaking my mind is everywhere I dig in my purse and pull out a cigarette and light it and smoke it I wanted to look him in his eyes and tell him how he hurt me what he did to me ruined me and how insecure it made me and how he made me feel like I didn't want to be pretty because being pretty gets you raped by people that are supposed to protect you then I can't control it and then I let myself cry I think in my head what is the point of drugs if they don't work I think of the lie I tell to myself I lost my virginity to Carmelo I mean I kinda did because I let Carmelo fuck me I never told William he can touch me I hit my hand against the wheel and cry years of holding in tears to try to be strong for myself and for everyone around me waiting for someone to save me but I was never saved I was never put first when am I going to be someone's fucking priority for once

{ CARMELOS POV: } after playing the game with sway adian and Larry for a hour are two I get off and lay down and start using my phone and liking Instagram post then I get a text from my mom that she is going to be working a double shift and Peter is staying the night at someones house and she loves me i pick up my phone and text Evie does she wanna finish the exam tonight it would also be a good time to apologize for being a dick about thirty minutes later she texts back sure I say we can do it at my house this time and send her the address about two hours later there is a knock at the door I get up and open the door

Evie comes in and sits at the couch and starts taking the paper out her bag and her laptop her eyes are red I sit down on the chair we have next to the couch and ask her is she good she shakes her head yes and we start on the paper this time she hands me the laptop and she writes the whole time she doesn't talk I pick up my phone and go on doordash and ask her does she want anything she shakes her head no and pulls out her phone and starts typing something then I set down my phone and say if you're mad about the school shit I'm sorry its just been a ruff two days she shakes her head no and say nah it's not about that I get up and move next to her on the couch and ask her what is it about and she says she doesn't want to talk about it then I say if I tell you something nobody knows would you feel like you can talk she sets down her phone and looks at me and says if what you're going to say is good enough I breath in then say my dad he died two days ago that's why I been under the weather it had nothing to do with you it just felt like you were like pushing at me she looks at me and says I seen this guy I haven't seen in years she looks at me again and her eyes are starting to water up and she says he raped me and I was never supposed to see him again but it looks like the earth fucking hates me she starts laughing and then wipes the tears from her eyes which keeps watering again I can see she is trying to hold in her tears I look at her and say you know you can cry right she looks at me and says no I can't then I say why can't you then she says because I just can't you don't know what it feels like to have to always be strong I say back to her I do know because when I went to school still after my dad died that was me being strong and I still cried so no you don't have to always be strong and even if you wanna be you don't have to be around me then I pick her up and sat her on top of me and start rubbing her arm I can see she keeps wiping the water from her eye I want her to feel safe around but I know what is like to feel pressured so I just stop we sit there for a couple of minutes and then she hugs me and says thank you

{ 5 MONTHS LATER } EVIES POV: } ever since that day me and Carmelo been hanging out a lot staying a night at each others houses telling each other everything I never went back to miyas house but we talk on the phone and meet up here and there I also found out William has some heath problems looks like karma does get some people and Carmelo also asked me to be his girlfriend we been dating for two months we argue alot yes because he doesn't know when to shut the fuck up but other then that he makes me happy and he makes me feel safe and I feel like I can talk to him about anything and everything also being the fact I said I love you first EVIEEE my mom screams coming I scream back I close my diary and come in the living room Carmelo is standing there because me and him are supposed to be going on some road trip with his friends I was going to bring Miya and kayda but kaydas mom said no and Miya already had plans for summer break I hug him then we kiss I run back in the my room to get my bags and when I walk out my mom is talking to Carmelo I walk over to my mom and kiss her on her cheek and hug her and then she says call me when you get there and on you're way back I say ok and bring my bags to the car Carmelo's friends are already in the car I say hi and get inside

then one of them say hey I'm sway that's adian and the other one is Larry I smile at them then Carmelo gets in the car we start driving why we are driving I realize Carmelo Is not acting like himself he isn't as clingy as he is all the time and he is barley even talking to me he is manly talking to them and when I even try to start a conversation with him he starts talking to them I try to tell myself I am being crazy and overthinking but it doesn't feel like it we stop for everyone to eat and smoke and drink some bear one of them brought and I finally pull Carmelo for a conversation we and I whisper to him you good he shakes his head yeah we take some pictures and finish eating then we all get back in the car and head to the place its some random area for campers it had a lake and a pretty view all the boys start setting up the tents while I text my mom that we made it to the place and I sent her a picture of the view then I helped set up the tents

after sway Larry and adian walked away to go find stuff to start a fire me and me and Carmelo started started putting everyone's covers and stuff into there tents then we sat down after I looked at Carmelo and said the view is nice he shaked his head and said yeah it is you wanna go swimming I smile at him and say with are clothes on he laughs and rubs my leg and says unless you want to get naked but there is people with us I get up and get up and take off my shoes and socks and jump in the water soaking my all white sweats and white crop top and and my curly hair socked then

I look at him and say come on he gets up and takes off his shoes and socks then gets in the water socking his hair and black tee and grey sweats then I swim up to him and kiss him we swim in the water and splash each other and a few minutes later Larry and sway and adian come back with stuff and start starting the fire and adian takes off his shirt and shoes and socks and gets in the water with us we all swim and Carmelo starts doing the thing where he is kinda like leaving me out I get out the water and grab a towel out my back and put it around myself and grab my phone and lay in the grass and start texting Miya and kayda in are group chat then I get up and walk away and call are group chat on video call I show them the view then I set the camera up on a tree branch and then kayda says damn girl you look good then Miya says for real i laugh and we talk about movies and shows and about Miya getting back with her boyfriend and kaydas crushs and are celebrity crushes after about an hour I hang up with them to go and tell them I love them then I hang up and go back to where all the boys are sitting they hand out sandwiches and we eat them why all them talked

{ 2 DAYS INTO THE TRIP } the whole time we been here I been feeling left out I feel like I don't even know my boyfriend because the person I said yes to made me feel good at night I when me and him are in are tent I tell him I am going home in the morning he asks why and I say because this is like a boys trip I am left out in everything then he says I am being over dramatic and he would not have asked me to come if he didn't want me there and I say then why did he ask me to come and then he says because I wanted you here and I say it doesn't feel like it we stare at each other then he lays down I look at his back then turn around and go to sleep the next day I call a Uber and leave early I was going to wake him up and say bye but I didn't feel like arguing with him so I just text him instead

{ AFTER I GET HOME } when the Uber drops me off about two hours later Carmelo texts me why did I leave and that's fucking embarrassing and that when you're dating someone you talk to them before doing shit like that I text him back I did tell him the night before and he wanted to be petty and I didn't want to argue so I left and I am sorry but I'm not coming back and it wont be like anyone even realizes I'm gone anywhere it was more like a boys trip { THAT WAS ALL THIS SUMMER AND I HAVE NOT TALKED TO CARMELO SINCE SCHOOL IS STARTING BACK UP AND I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT HE HAS TO SAY ON WHY WE DID NOT TALK THE REST OF THE SUMMER } THE END FOR NOW.