What is your opinion?
The Pen is a chilling, psychological one-shot thriller.
"Ok, 'THE PEN' was wow, it was a chilling, atmospheric psychological thriller that turned the mundane corporate workplace into a claustrophobic pressure cooker. Built around an unsettling premise of unyielding perfectionism from the CEO. And the CEO isn't the generic evil boss, he has a deeply human, tragic origin rooted in severe trauma caused by a single mis-shaded digit on a critical exam, it was a tiny, irreversible mistake that derailed his life's path and this kind of caused for him to have OCPD (Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder). My favorite part of the chapter, well in this case, story, is the following statement the CEO made, "They always told us...Life is written with a pen. A mistake written in pen can never be erased. So why should mistakes exist at all?" It was such a chilling closing line. Mia Vita! "
Like the story
""Your writing style is absolutely beautiful and very descriptive. The imagery you use is stunning, and I can picture every single scene perfectly in my head. You have a true gift for words!""
The Pen
"First of all, I think your story has a really strong premise, and it honestly gives the reader a lot to ponder. You definitely ticked the psychological thriller box for me. I love the final line, and I also really like how you come full circle at the end. Where I do, however, have a small bit of critique is that the story is extremely short. I think you could achieve so much more with it if it was slightly longer and you allowed the reader to actually experience the fallout when the CEO discovers that mistakes have been made and everything isn't perfect. I would also love to be more inside the characters' heads. What are they thinking and feeling when they discover the room with the dolls and see their pictures pinned above them? I think giving us more of those thoughts and emotions would make the story feel much more immersive and raise the stakes even further, making that bomb of an ending hit even harder. Generally speaking. I love the suspense. I'm just hungry for more. Keep writing!"
