Lovingly yours

"The hell... I-I can't keep up with them," I think, looking at the bunch of beautiful girls in front of me: Anna, Luna, and Emerald.

"You ok, Pearl?"

I hear a kind voice directed at me. I look up towards the cute girl with short hair. How could someone be kind and pretty at the same time?

"You ok?"

"Ye-yeah, I am fine."

"Oh, alright then." She smiles.

Yup, so this girl is Anna. She is the mom of the group. She cares about everyone—but don't go by her face, she is scary when she is angry.

Before her sits the cold beauty, Luna.

"Did you submit the assignment?" Luna asks.

"Yeah, I did."

Damn, Luna scared me. I thought she was gonna throw me out of class for some issue that I don't even know if I caused or not. So, where was I? Yeah—don't go by her name; she is cold, but disciplined.

"Umm, is there any problem?" I ask the girl beside me.

"Nope, nothing." Emerald smiles.

Yeah, so this girl is Emerald. She looks at me sometimes with those weird, observant eyes. Idk what she wants from me. She is the most popular among the group, the one that's perfect. She gets what she wants. She smiles and talks to everyone. She has everything needed: good grades, a great body, good at sports, well-spoken, and from a rich family. She is what any guy would desire, actually...

She makes me feel so low about myself because, like right now, she is always looking at me in this weird, judging manner.

I don't deserve to be in this group. I know this group doesn't really suit me, but I really wanted to hang out with them. Anna is really kind, and they radiate the energy that they would accept me. Though I didn't know I would actually become part of the group... I talked to Anna and asked to be friends with all of them, and then they started including me in everything. And I became part of the group?? Idk how?? But I sit with them at lunch every day.

So coming back to Emerald, maybe I am aware of why—

"Hey, how are you guys?"

I look up at that handsome voice. Standing there is Harry. He is so damn good-looking and has such a dripping, honey-like voice. And on top of that, he hasn't said anything rude to me since the day I came to this high school. He talks to everyone in that easygoing, cool manner, and he has never commented anything bad about me either.

Gosh, I won't say I never liked a guy before, but I never had an interaction with them either. But he always asks for a book when he forgets his, borrows anything he needs from us, and invites all of us to his games. He doesn't ask them to exclude me as well, yayyy! And his game—he plays football. Omg, he is so darn sexy doing that! Like every girl, I love to see his games a lottt!

Though Anna and Luna don't really seem that interested. Well, popular people have higher standards I guess? Well, let it be! Idc now. Today if he—

"So, you guys ready for my game today as well?" he says with that easygoing voice of his. HE IS SO COOL!

"We might come if you are so kind to invite us EVERY SINGLE TIME," Anna says, full of sarcasm.

"I—" I open my mouth to say something.

"I suppose we could come if you want our presence so much there. Then why not?" Emerald comments snarkily.

She always does that. The moment I was gonna say something, she interrupts me, and of course he looks at her.

"Oh, is it me wanting your presence, or you wanting to watch me all sweaty, ha?" He laughs.

"Don't get too cocky." She elbows him, and then they laugh together.

Suddenly, my fingers feel cold all of a sudden. I don't notice anything. This is annoying, but of course... I exhale. She is better than me, ain't she?

Next Day

Sitting in my class, scrolling. Ugh, are there no better—

OH WAIT! The Theory of Everything! Omggggg, I can watch it for free!

I rest my chin on my hands. Some people think that biopics are boring, but no-no-no, they are the best piece of media to ever exist. To know such an interesting person ever existed is just the best part about it. I swing my legs. Gonna watch it first thing at home.

I tilt my head slightly right. AHHHHHHH!

I see Emerald sitting beside me. Did... did she hear everything? Shit, she always gives me looks. She must think I am so annoying.

"You ok?" she asks normally, like she didn't just hear me talking about my weird obsession and nearly jump-scare me.

"Y-yeah," I reply. I sit down quietly.

"You like biopics?" she asks.

So she did hear me!

"Yeah, I do. Weird, right?"

She starts conversations with me sometimes, though we are so opposite we can hardly continue. Though it's not like she wants to talk to me anyway! It's just her need to start conversations with everyone—just extrovert things.

"Well, that's—" She was saying something.

"Hey guys, where are the others?"

I hear this charming voice and look up. Harry. Oh damn, he is here, as fresh as ever. He is giving that hot smile while talking to us in that playful tone. I love his voice.

"The—" I say, finally finding the courage to talk to him.

"They have a life, you know. Unlike you, they are in the canteen," Emerald interrupts.

She always does that whenever I talk to him! Before I even say something, she interrupts.

"These are the moments that are sharp and brutal, that hurt," he says, biting back a smile.

That... that hurts me. Her sharp comments also make you smile, damn it. I feel my fingertips get cold.

"Anyway, why don't you guys come to the match? It's gonna be fun as always," he says.

"Well—"

"We would come," I interrupt her FINALLY!

"Oh, great. I will be waiting for you guys then, bye," he says.

"Bye."

I wave at him, but when I look at her, she is looking at me again with that expression. Was she gonna deny him? Play hard to get? She always gives me that look that feels like she is disgusted... or jealous of me?? How could she be jealous of me? I ain't even beautiful like her.

I sit down slowly. "I am sorry, I—" I try to ease the tension.

"It's ok, you must really love football," she interrupts.

She loves interrupting me, doesn't she? And I guess it might be sure that I like him, yet she is saying that she must be giving me chances. Though, that expression of hers... she isn't cold to anyone, mostly not even to me, but when it comes to him, she treats me like that.

I might be imagining things, but that expression of hers really reminds me of my middle school. It makes my stomach churn, the way the—

"I am going to the canteen." She suddenly stands up.

"Huh?" I look up at her, seeing her fixing her skirt.

"The match is after break, right? Meet us at the field, we will watch it together," she says with an obligatory smile and leaves... just like that.

After giving me that expression, she is back to her original self: calm, charming, confident. I clench my fist a bit, looking down. It doesn't matter what happens, I will go to the match.

After Lunch

I walk over to them. Harry is standing there and talking to Emerald. I look at them, noticing how they are smiling, laughing, and looking at each other like old friends.

"Aren't Emerald and Harry like perfect? They would make a perfect couple. If I can't have him, at least Emerald should have him," I hear some girls talking in the background.

They aren't wrong, though. Both of them are—

"HEY!"

I look up. There it is, Anna calling me. Emerald is still talking to Harry, but Anna and Luna are looking at me.

"Come here!" Anna shouts.

"Yeah, coming." I smile a bit.

I don't wanna show them my expression that's dripping with clear disappointment. I jog to them. "Hey."

When I get close to them, he suddenly looks at me and says something. IS HE TALKING TO ME????

"Can you pass me that?" he says with a smile. I am stunned for a sec.

"That. Can you pass me that?" he repeats.

"Yeah—I—"

He sighs, leaning over and picking up his bottle behind me. I can smell his cologne. Who puts cologne on before a match? This dude. But he smells amazing.

Though my happiness doesn't last for long, since my eyes fall on Emerald for a sec. And that expression of hers... but it's worse this time. Harry has gone ahead with his bottle, but Emerald—her expression doesn't change. She stares at me, and that expression of hers is enough to instill fear in me. My hands are shaking, but she stays the same.

After a while, she sits on the bench just a few minutes before the match starts. I also sit beside Anna. Emerald is sitting beside Luna, who is just sitting there without speaking. Anna is looking at me as if she sees my fear.

"Today you aren't fine, are you?" I look at Anna. She is speaking to me with a furrowed brow. She is really worried.

"I-I am fine."

"No, you have been saying that, but—"

"SO LADIES, AND THEIR BOYFRIENDS OR GIRLFRIENDS, WE DON'T MIND—WELCOME TO THE THIRD MATCH OF THE MONTH BETWEEN CLASS 1-A VS CLASS 1-C! THIS IS GONNA BE A FIRST-CLASS MATCH SINCE WE KNOW YOU ARE HERE TO WATCH HARRY CALEB, BUT DON'T BE BIASED TOWARDS OTHER TEAMS SINCE THEY HAVE WORKED HARD AS WELL!"

Anna was saying something, but got interrupted by the announcement. The match is starting, ain't it?

Though I am still staring at Harry, who is blowing kisses to everyone. He is so cute, though. Still, Emerald scares me. My legs are still shaking from her stare, but I won't give up just by that. If one day I could have courage, I would ask to be his girlfriend. I would. But not right now; I don't have the guts.

"SO THERE, THE BALL IS WITH CLASS A! LET'S SEE IF HARRY CALEB WILL SHOW HIS MATCH MAGIC AGAIN!"

The match did start. He is so serious. I like this part about him—he is so goofy all the time, but then so serious when it counts. I give a faint smile. But then I notice Emerald's stare again. Why the hell is she like this? She can get anyone, despite that, she always—

"OH, DID OUR STAR GET THE BALL? LET'S SEE IF HARRY CAN SCORE A GOAL! LET'S SEE, THIS GOAL IS GONNA BE—"

And he hits it! Harry straight-up gets the ball inside the goal with a loud cheer from the crowd. He looks at everyone, smiling and laughing, then he looks here. Straight here. Huh? Why is he—

That's when my heart just starts beating loudly. Damn it, he is so—darn, my cheeks start to turn red. He is looking—

But then I suddenly remember Emerald. She must be looking at me anyway. And when I look at her, SHE IS!! Of course, she is a girl, if you like him at least look at him, why me?

But this time, something is different. She turns to look at him slowly. Her expression was... warm? Kinda weird. Did she realize that he was looking at me, maybe—

"Damn, was he looking here? WAS HE? WAS HE!!!! He must be looking at me!" My ears perk up, listening to the girls behind me.

"Oh no, he was looking at me," another girl says.

"Shut up, guys, use your brain. This is a wide area. If he has to, he would look at Emerald or Anna or even Luna, not at you," a third girl says.

"Oh c'mon, you don't have to be so meannnn," the first girl says.

"I kinda agree, though," the second girl proceeds.

"Eh, you are changing sides after agreeing with me? C'mon, but yeah, there are other girls he must be looking at," she says sadly.

"I meant he could be looking at you also. I just said it's a wide area, he could look at anyone," she says with a bit of guilt.

"No, he must be looking at them only," the first and second girls say in unison.

"Oh c'mon, don't make me feel bad."

I look back a bit, seeing the third girl wrapping her arms around the necks of her friends. "Don't sweat it," she says. She is kinda cool. I wish I was like that girl too; I don't know her name, but... I sigh.

I am totally lame.

Quite a bit of time has passed after the match started. It's coming to an end. Some people left, some stayed. Many girls are here for reasons I know. Harry seems so concentrated. Yup, I love this side of him.

They got a penalty kick.

"This is a tense moment for Team A. They have this chance to win or lose. If they win, they will finally qualify for the school-to-school tournament, and if they don't, they can always try next year." Even the announcer sounds tense, even though he tries to relieve the tension with casualness. But since he is from Class A as well, he just can't hide it, and his usual loud voice is down as well.

"GO FOR IT HARRYYYYY!" I hear some girls screaming. I don't have the courage to join them, but still, I hope from the bottom of my heart for them to win.

And then he runs—looking, analyzing—and then he HITS IT! The ball, with a swift motion, is going into the goal's corner, but then the goalkeeper slides, jumps, and with just that slight movement... he saves the goal.

"WOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

A loud crowd erupts in cheers. Players run to hug and lift each other, and Harry falls onto his knees.

THEY LOST.

Honestly, I thought my heart broke at that. He looks so sad. The girls who were cheering for him go quiet as well.

"He lost."

"No, how could he?"

"Yeah, yeah, let me buy juice."

"No, how could heeee..."

The girls behind me sound sad. I am so sad... this is just, ughh, should I go comfort him? Wait, I don't know how—

"A good match, eh? Wasn't it?"

Emerald. She is talking to me, and with that formal smile again. Is she mocking me? I mean, he lost, yet she doesn't look sad at all... But she clearly sees the sad expression on my face, yet she is asking me that—

"Or are you sad your crush lost?"

My eyes widen at her statement. I look at her without saying anything, and she has this sarcastic smile on her face. Not too much, but enough for me to understand. Why the hell is she like this? Can't she see he is so sad? Can't she?

And before I could think much, I speak up.

"Why would you say that when you clearly know he lost?! You like him, right?! I know that I am not a fool, and I know that you know about the crush I have on him, yet... YET YOU ARE MOCKING ME! And if you like him, then shouldn't you go and comfort him instead of making fun of me?! But I don't care now, cause if you won't, then I WILL!"

I say that, gasping, since that's definitely not something I usually say. Definitely not, I don't have the courage! Yet, I look at her face. It looks weird. She isn't angry, sad, or anything—just shocked. She must be wondering how, out of all people, I could say that. Fortunately, Anna and Luna weren't here; I don't wanna drag them into her petty act, since she hasn't dragged them either.

While she is looking down on me—

"Oh Harry, it's alright man, it—"

A voice heard from beside us interrupts my thoughts. I look there, and there is Harry—throwing his shoes and going to the changing room. He looks angry, disappointed in himself. It's not his fault. How could I tell him? I-I should go to him.

And then I run off, not looking back. Even though I know her expression is... I look back a bit with my side eye, and my blood runs cold. She has a killer expression on her face.

I stumble but don't fall. It's scary. She is scary. Why the hell is she so weird? If she likes him, she should just go to him. Why the hell is she glaring at me? Does she not want any competition? Is that why???

But I keep moving until I reach the changing room.

I stand there, huffing, sweating. I ran here after all. I stand in a corner so other boys won't be interrupted, looking up every second to check when he comes out of the changing room. I tap my feet. I am tired, and suddenly, her stare is what I remember.

I hate her, honestly. I never did, but at this moment, I seriously do. Why the—

Or maybe I am overthinking, I don't know. I lean on something. I look back to find a vending machine, and with that, a small grin joins my face. I should buy something cold for him. I don't know what he likes, so I get juice or water. Thinking that, I buy quite a lot of things.

As I stand there leaning on the wall waiting, I look up. Fortunately, Harry comes out soon enough. He is tired, in his normal clothes. But he isn't looking sexy... or maybe he is, but that's not important. He must be angry, sad, tired.

I go to him. "Harry!!"

He looks back. Gosh, his smile—it goes away.

"What?" He sounds a bit annoyed. I mean, why not?

I clutch the bag in my hand. "I-I am sorry. You must have worked really hard, but—"

"It's alright, I don't care. Somebody had to lose, it's better if the better team goes, it's alright," Harry says.

"Harry, you ok?" A voice comes from behind—his friend maybe, or a teammate, I don't know.

"I have to go, bye," he says.

Even if he lost, he is still taking this positively, and here I am, a damn coward. I take a deep breath in.

"HARRY, WAIT! I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!"

He looks back. I look behind him. Emerald is standing there, wide-eyed. It's my chance. If you won't, I will. I will. I will win, Emerald.

"I LIKE YOU! Would you go out with me?" I say. It wasn't really loud, but clear enough for everyone surrounding us to hear.

He steps back a bit.

"Actually, I—" I start to speak.

But then he interrupts me. "Can you not read the room?"

"Huh?" My mouth opens, making that sound.

His eyes widened for a fraction with visual annoyance

"I said can you not read the room"he sounds furious

"Here i am who lost a match trying to calm down WITHOUT trying to creat a scene and this is where you try to ask me out are you dumb?"

He..he is right asking him out right now-

"If it was a BEAUTIFUL girl like emerald or someone that might have made my mood better actually shifted it away from the loss but seriously you?am i so unlucky to actually be proposed by someone like you?i genuinally feel like being engrossed in football has made me look a bit too approachable for any random person"

My lips tremble at that statement..

Emerald?

Haha offcourse yeah...the one which was laughing at his loss would make his mood better

"I acted nice to you talked nicely to you and this is what you do to help me out?show your face while YOU KNOW MY DAY IS RUINED yet YET knowing that you willingly no VOLUNTEERILY showed your face"

Tears welled up in my eyes

"Stop crying dammit first of all you ruin my day then start to cry to act as the victim know what pearl right?if you proposed anyone in here at a completely normal day even without suffering through a loss as big as mine then they would be so damn rude to you so damn ride to you i actually am kinder"

"I-didnt mean to ruin your day I-"

"You didnt mean to?do you think that matters to me right now?shouldnt you have considered the consequences?you first of all ruin my day then act like the victim crying and make me the villain"

Haha. Haha. Seriously, of course he is right.

"You know I was—" He is saying a lot of things right now, but I can't hear anything. My rose-tinted romance is over. I thought Emerald was a hurdle for me, that he was kind, charming...

"Genuine question did you think you had a chance with me?that trying to hit on me when i am vulnerable would make you a main charecter out of a novel or something?look at yourself pearl i dont wanna say it but you know what you look like"

Some are laughing behind him. Though he did remind me of my insecurity... I look at myself. I am an ugly, fat pig, as everyone in my middle school said. Of course, haha. Haha.

Yeah, why can't I hear anything? Yeah, this always happens to me. It seems like I am deep underwater. I can't hear, like my whole nervous system is filled with sewage water.

THUD.

I only hear this sound suddenly, like somebody sliced through that sea. And then I look up.

I see Emerald standing there, her back visible to me. She is standing in front of me, hands in mid-air with a straight palm shape. Huh, did she—

Harry is standing there, looking the other way like he has been struck.

"Pearl," she moves her head to look at me, still partially facing him.

Huh? Hey, that makes my heart feel a little uneasy... Honestly, till now I've just been hearing 'you this, you that' and now—my name? Has she ever said it?

She steps in closer. I step back.

"Are you ok, Pearl?" She looks so darn concerned...

"THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, BITCH!" I hear this loud, angry voice. It's Harry's. "HOW DARE YOU HIT ME! JUST BECAUSE I GAVE YOU A BIT OF ATTENTION DOESN'T MEAN YOU WOULD DARE DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!"

She looks back and, in a calm manner, says, "I would have hit you even if you never talked to me." She chuckles sarcastically. "And by the way, I hated every moment you talked to me. It pissed me off. And also, I hit you because you don't even know how to treat a person who cares about you."

She takes the bag out of my hand. I was clutching onto it like life support, but I just give it to her like it's nothing.

"This girl," Emerald opens the bag, "orange juice, cold milk, strawberry milk, lemon juice... the hell, IS IT FOR YOU, PEARL?"

"N-no," I say hesitantly. "I mean—"

"You heard her right, she didn't buy it all for herself. She—"

Emerald is defending me? Wait, what? It's—

"Of course not," Harry sneers. "How the hell would that fatty even agree that she didn't buy all that for herself? Of course she would—"

"This is warmer. Warmer than it is in the vending machine." Emerald pulls out one bottle from the bag and touches it to her cheek. "It's warmer, like it's been held like this for 5 to 7 minutes. Weren't you inside that changing room for about 5 to 9 minutes?"

Harry is quiet hearing that.

"The hell are you even trying to say?" he says after hesitating for a while.

"It means she waited here for you to change SO SHE COULD FUCKING CHEER YOU UP! She ran here, bought drinks, waited here, and what the hell did you do? You disrespected her! Broke her! Said those things about her! How the—"

She is saying that for me? And I...?

"UGH! SO YOU, AS A GUY, WOULD YOU DATE A FAT GIRL LIKE HER?? IF YOU WERE A GUY, WOULD YOU DATE HER?!" Harry says like he won the argument.

What... what the hell is he even saying? Why is he throwing such a weird question at her? I step forward. She doesn't have to—

"As a guy, ha."

She looks him in the eye and turns toward me, taking big footsteps my way. When she is close enough, she leans in and whispers, "Is it ok if I kiss you?"

Loud enough for me to hear, low enough for nobody else.

"Ha-ha-ha, what? W-w-w-wait, what?"

"Yes or no, be quick," she insists.

I mean, she did fight for me, so maybe... "Y-yes," I say weirdly.

But that was enough for her.

And then she grabs my waist, pulls me closer, and kisses me.

I AM TELLING YOU, I HEARD EVERYONE GASP.

T-this most desired, beautiful, popular girl just kissed me. The hell... and she is... what the... her tongue, it's so deep I can't breathe, the fuck. My eyes are tearing up, the hell, aghh, but this doesn't feel so bad—no, no, no, what?!

"Hmm, mmm, Em—"

She leaves me before I can say anything, wiping her mouth proudly like she won something, even though this...

"SO, HARRY, NOW??" She says proudly, looking his way.

Harry? I see his face. Yeah, I totally forgot about him. His mouth is open and... is he blushing, what?

"I-I—" Yeah, so he is inaudible. He is as shocked as me.

"You-you can't date. I mean, you won't date her. I know it requires nothing to just kiss someone, but actual guts to date someone like that—"

And at that, she drops to one knee, takes my hand in hers, and kisses it.

At this point, c'mon, everything I thought about this girl has taken a 360-degree turn, and I am officially identifying myself as a tomato. Honestly, I wasn't this red having my first crush either. I mean, wait—THIS WAS MY FIRST KISS AND SHE TOOK IT SO CASUALLY! Though she took permission, BUT STILL!

Before I can think more—

"Would you be my girlfriend, Pearl Smith?"

This girl... what is this, A ROYAL PROPOSAL? THE HELL! WHAT and WHY IS SHE SMIRKING? STOP HER, SOMEONE, EHHH!

"Would you be?" She tilts her head with a small smile.

"Y-yes." Wait, what—

She smirks, stands up, and pulls me to her side by my waist.

"So we are official, Mr. Harry Caleb. ANY ISSUES? DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANY ISSUES WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP?"

WHY THE HELL IS SHE SAYING IT LIKE WE ARE MARRIED? WHAT THE HELLLL!

"Guess we will have to take care of each other, Pearl Smith."

With that, she winks at me.

A WINK! A WINKKKKKKK!!!! UGHHHH SO WHAT???????????