STAND UP (SLIDES) Chapter One
The Doctor was rolling helplessly on the console room floor, screaming. Nyssa stood in the interior doorway shouting at Gordy, “What have you done?”
“More!” screamed the Doctor.
“All right,” giggled Gordy. “What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?”
“I don’t know, I don’t know!” howled the Doctor.
“A tattoo.”
At this the Doctor screamed again, clutching his stomach with one hand and wiping tears from his eyes with the other. Nyssa, who hadn’t understood the joke, stared at the Doctor. It took her a full 30 seconds to realize he was laughing uncontrollably. “More! More!” cried the Doctor.
“Is this dangerous?” Nyssa asked.
“Only if you’re a trombonist,” said Gordy, his voice trembling.
The Doctor sat up, breathless and still chuckling, managed “Hello, Nyssa” before collapsing again into gleeful convulsions. “Gordy’s been… Gordy’s been… I’ve never heard these before! All right, all right, enough for now. I think we’re scaring Nyssa. I think I’m scaring myself!” He forced his breathing into some semblance of normalcy and sat up again. “Sorry, Nyssa.”
Nyssa asked, “Doctor, are you a trombonist?”
Within seconds the Doctor was flat on his back, unable to answer, instead whooping again, and Gordy was doubled over, trying not to fall down, himself. Nyssa, feeling a bit put out, turned and left the room.
“Stop now,” said the Doctor, almost calmly. He rose, as gracefully as ever, and assumed a serious demeanor for about 10 seconds before cracking up again, but he was able to walk to the interior door, turn back toward Gordy and advise him that he intended to go check on Nyssa. “I’m sure she’s all right,” he explained, “but, you know, just in case.”
“What was that all about?” asked Nyssa. She had not responded to the Doctor’s knock on her door, nor greeted him when he entered, as she’d been focused on pouring one substance from a tall, thin beaker into a shorter but even narrower test tube half full of another substance. Having set them down safely, she turned to question the Doctor.
“Gordy was telling me some trombone jokes. They’re very silly but that is their charm. He made me laugh. I really needed a laugh, too.”
Nyssa understood. “It’s pleasant to have him here. He’s a nice young man.”
“Yes.”
“The Master really put you through some camponology.”
“Beg pardon? Oh, that’s... different spelling, different meaning, Nyssa. Wringer. Not bell-ringer, which a camponologist isn’t, exactly... yes, I take your meaning. We did not have an easy time of it.”
“You especially didn’t, Doctor.”
“Well now,” said the Doctor, abruptly, “that’s all over and done with. Here we are on our way to Earth Twelve, where I understand the opportunities for relaxation are numerous. It’s almost overkill. There are spas and circuses, waterways for boating, theatres, concert halls, and comedy clubs and all manner of recorded entertainment, sports venues and public pottery wheels, buskers everywhere, and a giant Rube Goldberg device. I must find out where that is.”
“Is Gordy practicing to tell his jokes at a comedy club?”
“Oh, no,” laughed the Doctor. “Those are not original jokes. He was just trying to crack me up.”
“And succeeding, Doctor!” Nyssa picked up the test tube and tilted it in the light. “I am not seeing a reaction here. I must have made a mistake.”
“What are you working on?”
“Nothing in particular. I was just mixing a few things to see what would happen.” Nyssa put the test tube back down and sighed. “I know, I know, I am being careful. But I’m weary now. I think I’ll just lie down for a little while.”
“Rest well, Nyssa. We’ll be on Earth Twelve soon and you don’t want to be too tired to enjoy all of its charms!”
“Is Earth Twelve silly, too?”
“Maybe! I don’t know. This is my first visit as well. But all charming things are not silly, and all silly things are not charming.” He left Nyssa alone with that observation. She slipped her boots off and lay down, otherwise fully dressed, atop her carefully made bed. She glanced over at Tegan’s empty bed and sighed again.
“Tegan was both silly and charming,” she murmured to herself, closing her eyes. “I miss her.”
