Clueless

Malaysia

Take my hand as I take you to a small apartment nestled in the heart of Kuala Lumpur. If we peek into the house, you will find a twenty two-year-old bald man cooking his breakfast.

He looked up, directly into our eyes as he saw us peeking into his house.

Aarav’s POV:

You might be wondering what I am supposed to be doing here. But honestly, you need to ask this question yourself. This is my place where you all are breaking in but wait… no, you’re just intrigued by knowing my life.

I don’t mind being the center of attention so why not? But my life is incomplete without my sister. And she’s the one who will make your journey memorable, not me.

I am the kind of child that people expect to be all sorted. They have good grades, good manners, and a strong plan for the future.

I hate to say this that my parents are proud of me but in the end, I know how hard it is to carry the weight of everyone’s expectations.

Wait? Am I not being too open with you all?

But it’s okay, Indira, my sister will make sure to give you a tough time.

I envy her honestly. So chill. So clueless about life. But to be very real, my parents are worried for her. As they should be.

Just look at her, she just went to sleep. At a time when everyone wakes up. She doesn’t have her high school these days. As if it would matter. My parents were so strict with me but she was always allowed to take leave. Probably because she never asked them, she told them.

I hear footsteps approaching the kitchen and I know it’s my Mom.

“Aarav,” she said as she glanced at my outfit.

“Hey, Mom. I am going to gym after eating my cereal,” I replied to her unasked question as I hugged her.

See? We make our lives hard for ourselves. Understanding people’s question before they’re even asked. Maybe one day she won’t ask me and let this 22 year old man go on his own but I don’t let her do this.

On the other hand, Indira rarely replies even if you ask her. You might think I am jealous of her. I am. I envy her but here’s the truth: she is not loved the way I am. She has no accomplishments, no goals but sometimes she shocks all of us. I remember once she got 92%… she always get good grades if I think of it now. But then why no one expects same things from her?

The cereal is ready and I need to go to gym. This was my first conversation with you all. I will ask Indira to connect too. But make sure, next time you peek somewhere, take permission.

Indira’s POV:

I am Indira, Aarav’s sister. You might think I call myself his sister because you’ve already met him. But that’s not the case. It’s simply part of my life.

Whenever my parents introduce us to anyone, Aarav introduces himself, but my introduction is given by the other family members. Not because I’m shy, but because I’m not seen as trustworthy in front of guests. Otherwise, I consider myself very outgoing.

You might think there are only four of us, but no, there are eight.

I am the youngest sibling. I have three siblings; Aarav is the oldest and married, so that makes us eight.

So, I was telling you how I don’t have my own personality, and my siblings envy that. They love how I can fall asleep whenever I want, go out whenever I feel like it, and stuff like that. Honestly, I like that too. Until I don’t.

I’m pretty distant from my family—not because they’re toxic, in fact, they’re the best. But because I don’t feel like I’ve achieved enough to be among these successful people.

My mom, for example, cooks for us. My dad earns for us. They think we love them because of this. These are their responsibilities, but what we love about them is because of their mere existence, not their work.

Have you seen moms working even when they’re sick? We call it love, but it’s their mind telling them they’re not enough.

I don’t want that for myself, so I don’t let people expect too much from me. And I’m sure they still love me. It’s just that I feel I’m not enough.

Never mind, I’m being too honest all of a sudden. I recently graduated from high school and have applied to many universities.

I don’t think I will get there because I never do. Even here, my siblings are much better than me. I don’t envy them though, I like the way I am.

Someone has knocked on the door, it’s my sister.

“Hey, are you free on Sunday?” She asked with a smile.

“Yes,” I replied.

“We will go to amusement park then. It’s been a while,” she said. I feel excited all of a sudden. Top ten things you should not feel for a plan but I can’t help it.

“Perfect. How about we take my friends too?” I suggest.

“Done,” She said as she left the room. I am feeling sleepy once again, I wonder if I have a health problem. It doesn’t matter though, I am off to sleep already. See you all soon.