Chapter 1
You know that feeling when you are in a hotel, and you are walking around it in the late evening?
Even though it’s not a bad place and maybe even visually appealing or at least step up from your home, there’s still a constant sense that you aren’t meant to be here.
That if you step wrong, it’ll mess things up and someone else is gonna get mad.
Some people assume that if they woke up in another world, they’d adjust fairly quickly or at least enough that such a feeling would wear off soon enough. Or maybe they don’t even think on that.
But what if you were in such a situation, and that was the constant state of mind you were in?
What if maybe even in your own home, you experienced that all the time?
What if you felt like that even in your own skin?
That’s only scratching the surface of what it feels like to have your mind scanned into a file and composited into the Amazing Digital Circus.
But for Jax the Unlucky Rabbit, none of those things felt particularly new. In fact, having those things actually happen in a literal sense felt weirdly numbing compared to walking around like that in the real world.
But real world or not, he can still feel everything he felt before.
Every expectation of what will be around each corner, every unconscious train of thought, and every habit that feels impossible to break.
Despite his jokes about sleeping in this virtual landscape being a dumb choice that leaves you vulnerable to pranking, or his favorite running gag about not needing air to breathe, something the purple lagamorph just can’t seem to forget is starvation.
Or rather, the expectation of starvation. The feeling like your body is losing its grip, that your bones are hallowing out, and like even your senses aren’t as sharp, except for a coppery dusty taste in your mouth like it anticipates to eat anything. Anything.
Humans are creatures of habit, and having your consciousness uploaded and warped into a cartoon bunny doesn’t change that. In fact, it actually makes the habits easier to maintain.
It’s the subtle knowledge that even if it feels like your body is going to die, it won’t. Even if you’re still weary and straining and struggling, you know the worst that can happen is you lay on the ground for a few minutes and your energy returns.
Maybe that’s why Jax gets a subtle tingle of adrenaline every time he does this. In the situation in which anyone finds out, it’s not like they can really do all that much.
Sure there’s social emotional consequences that would follow, but for the moment, the only thing that crosses Jax’s mind is his capacity to escape. After all, if he focuses, he can dash “off screen” leaving behind only a puff of dust.
Maybe that’s why there’s something almost exciting about this night time ritual.
That, or the fact that doing this in the circus is different than doing this when has was a child.
There’s a larger distance to cover but there’s a lot more to hide behind.
Due to the nighttime pallet color rendering, it’s actually not extremely dark in the circus.
It’s dark enough that Jax can hide in the shadows, but not so dark he’s at risk of bumping into something.
At the top of the staircase, Jax looks back and forth just in case, then dashes into the cafe and smoothly slides over the table, landing with a barely audible thud before uncrumpeling the bag in his yellow-gloved hand.
His other hand is already opened the fridge and started grabbing everything. Hot dog packages, juice bottles, canned fruit, yogurt cups, bubble-flavored sodas, slim jim bags, Caine’s patterned trademarked Caine’s Crunch Bars and more.
All the pastries and snacks and dishes and drinks that can be stored easily, or be digested quickly and discreetly. This feels so wrong but so relieving he can hardly believe this is real.
This would have been the stuff of dreams just a few years ago.
Reaching past the non-filling Unflavored Gelatin Cubes and the too-light Angel Food Cake polygon, he grabs handfuls of water melons slices. They don’t make as much of a mess as their real world counterparts so he tosses them right into his bag.
The little factoid that food isn’t a need in this world floats past Jax’s jubilant mania, and he lets out the smallest scoff-snicker ever.
Who cares? There’s food! And a key to his room door! And nobody will know the difference cuz Caine can %$☆!#ing conjure more food whenever he wants! It’s insane!
Grabbing one more apple juice and a container of mashed potatoes that he plans to devour when he gets back to his room, Jax is about to consider that enough, but then he spots the cartons of milk at the bottom of the door self.
Even in this world, milk doesn’t magically stay cold when it’s out of a refrigerator for too long.
But there’s also hundreds more where this one came from!
Not even bothering to get a glass, Jax chugs the sweet cold dairy right there and then, justifying it to himself that milk is good for bones. He learned that from Plankton in Spongebob Squarepants.
He doesn’t even have bones anymore but a year ago he did and didn’t have any milk. This is evening things out. That makes sense, right?
Wiping off a milkstache, the purple rabbit delicately places the carton in the recycling bin so it makes no sound. Even if it’s only virtual food, the sensation of eating feels absolutely intense and imperative.
Speaking of which, he’s got a serving of mash potatoes that’s gonna soften up soon enough and will be just the right balance of heavy but not too heavy incase he wants to eat something else.
Jax knows he’s kind of riding an adrenaline rush and might not actually wanna eat this much, but who cares?! Two decades of eating as a need doesn’t go away, and the time spent homeless wondering if he’d just starve to death doesn’t vanish cuz he’s a avatar in a game now.
Nobody can stop him!
Nobody even knows! They just assume it’s time to make Caine refill the fridge and they think nothing of it!
Putting his haul over his shoulder, Jax jumps over the counter and begins to sprint, knowing there is nothing in this universe that is going to say he can’t ---
C R A S H !
Jax falls back hard, and while he can’t get a concussion, it sure hurts like one.
But nothing hurts as much
Rubbing his head, Jax faintly process the surprised sound of whoever he bumped into.
“Holy %&☆$#” Ribbit exhales, the swear censor blocking it.
Oh...
Of all people to run into...
For a second, Jax is relieved, but then quickly panics.
It’s Ribbit!
Y’know, the person whose life got corrupted and abstracted because of a major falling out?!
The cartoon lagamorph would normally scramble to escape, but he’s too startled to think that fast.
The terms they are on could honestly be way worse, but that doesn’t mean Jax wants to run into Ribbit in the middle of the night! And like this?!
And beyond that, years of stealing food from the cafe fridge and literally he’s never been caught once. Why tonight? And why Ribbit?!
The amophromorphic frog un-tenses a little. “Oh, it’s just you” but then Ribbit tenses again. After all, it’s Jax.
Jax doesn’t say anything either. After all, the two haven’t really spoken since Ribbit came back.
They run their green webbed hand over their face in light exasperation. “You scared the %$☆!# out of me.”
“Why are you awake?” Jax hisses, sitting up quickly, but not moving any further.
“I should be asking you that.” Ribbit glances at the bag and the contents that spilled out of it. “What’s with the bag of food?”
“I’m stocking up food for, ummmmmm, the... apocalypse?” Jax then facepalms because what kind of excuse is that?!!
His former friend just looks at the way his hand is placed near a box of fish sticks like he’s ready to grab and go.
Honestly, Ribbit is surprised they’re surprised. I mean, a formerly homeless guy is taking extra food and likely storing it for later? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what Jax is doing and why.
Jax’s shoulder rise a bit, clearly expecting some big reaction.
Ribbit finally speaks up with a gentle but neutral tone. “You do realize the food restocks on a regular basis, right?”
Almost offended by the frog’s casualness, Jax retorts, “It has so far. But Caine’s a bot. He literally made a literal giant rooster instead of a balloon for that dumb Thanksgiving parade he did.”
Ribbit is barely fazed by his tone, though it takes them a moment to respond. “... No, you’re right. We can’t expect everything to stay the same.”
Jax stands up, tugging up the bag with him.
Ribbit looks up at the slightly taller avatar. “It’s not a bad idea. Stocking up food.”
There’s a weird sensation Jax feels in moments like this. It’s like he’s emotionally numb, the feelings sealed behind a cement wall, but just enough awareness of what this moment means allows echoes of the feeling to play in his mind.
Currently all he can feel is the sour sensation of disbelief and mistrust. Jax tries to think over the echoes in his mind.
He was caught stealing, Ribbit knows, but nothing else has happened. This is an easy scenario, isn’t it?
“So, like... are you just gonna... let me ...go?”
Lightly surprised by the question, Ribbit’s mouth turns up, almost smiling ever so slightly. “It’s the community cafe, not the Smithsonian.”
“Right...” Jax stares at them, beyond weirded out.
The two just stare at each other, unsure what to do.
Honestly there is so much they still need to talk about.
However, all Jax can think of is how he feels right here at this moment.
“Okay. Bye.” And with that, the purple rabbit uses that cartoon dash to snatch up the stuff he dropped before escaping the cafe space.
As he swiftly rushes under the silly slides and over the random barrels of monkey chains, Jax’s head is reeling.
He was ready for them to be mad! Shocked! Scared! even violent!
He wasn’t expecting ... whatever the %$☆!# that was!
Little did he realize...
In his rush, he had missed a bottle of apple juice and left it on the floor.
"Dumbbunny.”
Ribbit knows better than to run after Jax, especially after an interaction like that.
If it was emotionally conflicting for Ribbit, it was probably just as bad if not worse on Jax.
“Might as well bring this to him.”
Ribbit takes their time picking up the bottle and walking all the way to Jax’s room.
Rushing won’t do any good, they figure, even if they’re sure that because Jax ran at impossible speed, he’s already there, sitting over his room key behind the locked door.
Jax and Ribbit’s time as friends has taught them a lot, because that is exactly what Jax is doing when Ribbit arrives. Inside his colorful soft pastel room, Jax has his back to the door, the mashed potato container from earlier completely clean.
When Ribbit’s webbed feet stop in front of the door, they can kinda sense that Jax knows they’re there.
It would be so easy to knock on the door and be super casual like ”Hey~ You dropped this~" but that doesn’t feel quite right.
For a moment, Ribbit wants to try and say something.
Anything.
Or at least give assurance that they aren’t gonna tell anyone.
But then Ribbit thinks it over, recalling the times they’ve talked in the past...
And the weight of their recent reunion...
The frog lets out a small sigh before simply bending down, placing the bottle down with a small but clear thud.
Jax heard the sound, and can hear Ribbit leaving to their own room.
The human-turned-rabbit debated for a while after hearing Ribbit’s door closing but eventually did open the door to see what was left.
Upon seeing the bottle of apple juice, Jax felt small... and clammy, which is a weird experience when you’re a video game character.
Jax did however decide to accept the juice bottle, retreating back into his room...
His room that he never lets anyone into, for MANY reasons... but one of the biggest reasons is all the food he keeps in there. He used to be a lot more careful about storing it discreetly, but after a while began to get sloppy, knowing there was almost no chance of anyone ever getting in his room.
He locked it and unlocked it and relocked it every time he used the door.
And can you blame him?
It would be so humiliating if the circus folk saw the piles and piles of stashed food. The others would assume it’s a prank or just being selfish or whatever.
But not Ribbit...
Ribbit acted okay with it, but even picked up a bottle he dropped and left it at his door?!
Jax’s chest feels tight, as if the ceiling is closing down.
What...
WHAT THE %$☆!# DOES THIS MEAN??????
And things are just gonna get more complicated from here...
