IT WAS A NIGHT BEFORE NEW YEAR (2023)

PLOT: Javi Guttierez (The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent) is throwing a New Year party and his ‘hostess’ (female reader) invited some friends to join them at Javi’s villa. (There’s also an unwanted guest)

PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS: Javi Gutierrez (TUWOMT), Javier Pena (Narcos), Dieter Bravo (The Bubble), Liam, the assassin (Nikita), Max Phillips (Bloodsucking Bastards), Max Lord (WW84), Frankie ‘Fish’ Morales (Triple Frontier), Oberyn Martell (GOT), Joel Miller (TLOU)

AUTHOR’S NOTE: These were captions for my posts at the Pedro Pascal fan pages on Facebook. I collated them and turned it into a one-shot story.

IT WAS A NIGHT BEFORE NEW YEAR (2023)

by Acer_Wolfe

The Mediterranean breeze carrying the scent of sea salt and blooming jasmine swept across the sprawling, sun-drenched estate. The villa was already vibrating with excitement, but the real chaos was only just beginning.

‘Javi will bring me to his villa to celebrate New Year!’ I send it via chat. Hey, the answer was fast! ‘Oh, call you? Okay!’

I pressed the phone to my ear, listening to the heavy, tired sigh on the other end of the line before speaking up.

“You want to join Javi and I for the New Year? Sure, Joel. The more the merrier!”

Over in the plush living quarters, the atmosphere was considerably lower energy. Sitting curled up on a velvet sofa, staring gloomily into an empty glass, was an all-too-familiar mess of an actor.

Dieter is sulking. Aww...poor Dieter is always being left out. “Cheer up! You’re coming with us at the party! Pack your bags! Javi, Joel and I are picking you up!’

By the time the sun began to dip below the horizon, the guest list was rapidly devolving into pure, glorious madness.

So, we have a sulking Dieter and we also have the grumpy Agent Pena. Dieter is easy to handle; give him booze, his ‘edibles’ and he’s fine (but he mustn’t show it to Agent Pena or he’ll be in hot water). Agent Pena on the other hand, hmm. I don’t know. Maybe he’d just sulk in a corner and put a damper on everything. Should we invite him to the New Year party too?

Before I could ponder the DEA agent’s sour demeanor any longer, Javi bounced over to me on his tiptoes, his eyes wide with hyperactive delight, looking like a kid who had just been handed the keys to a toy store.

Javi whispers excitedly to my ear, ’Guess what? I have a prince as a guest! Yes!” he insists when I looked at him askance. “He’s from an old and ancient royal family from...I don’t know. Doesn’t matter. He’s a prince!” I shrug. ‘Keep Dieter away from him because I hear the prince has uhmm...he’s into...ahh, things.’

I went wide-eyed at what he whispered in my ear. Oh my....

The roar of helicopter blades suddenly shook the courtyard, kicking up a storm of dust as a sleek corporate chopper touched down on the landing pad. Out stepped a man in an impeccably tailored suit, radiating pure charisma and questionable business ethics.

“Max Lord! Welcome!” Javi introduced his fair-haired guest who arrived in a helicopter. “You’re just in time for the party! Let’s have a drink!”

I take Javi aside. He laughed after he gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Mi querida, he’s not a snake oil salesman, come on! Si, I will be careful.”

Meanwhile, near the idling helicopter, the flight crew was settling in.

’Oh, don’t worry about me, love. I get paid to wait.” said the helo-pilot. “Nice digs! I’m Frankie but my friends call me Fish. Well, I’m not gonna turn down a good meal. Wanna join me?”

Fish gave me a wink and touched the brim of his baseball cap before heading to the buffet table.

“Fish, go back to the helo when you’re done. And stop talking to people!” The other man, who only introduced himself as Liam turns to me with cold eyes. “I apologize for my colleague’s brash attitude, ma’am. Won’t happen again. I’m Mr. Lord’s security. Excuse me, I need to find my principal.”

I glimpsed him slip something long, silver and sharp in his sleeve. I wonder if I should worry?

Stepping away from the helicopter noise, I walked back toward the marble archways of the villa, only to feel a sudden chill run down my spine. A dark, striking man leaned casually in the shadows.

“Hey,” He drawled like a cat. I was raked with those eyes like a slab of meat he intended to devour. “Are you part of the meal or the entertainment?” The man in a suit with blood-red tie leans on one of the pillars. I blink as I felt weird when he looked at me. “Ah, neither. You’re Javi’s plus one. Off limits. Too bad.” His intake of breath sounds like it’s coming from the throat of a big cat. “Yeah, that’s my name.” He smiles at my confusion. “It’s a skill of mine. Yeah, call me Max. Max Phillips at your service.” he brings my limp hand to his beautiful but predatory looking lips.

I gasp. Fangs? Must be the trick of the light.

Shaking off the eerie encounter, I made my way upstairs toward the guest suites to check on the sleeping arrangements, only to stumble straight into an unbelievable scene unfolding in one of the master bedrooms.

“Babe, this is not what it looks like.” Dieter froze from the floor from between prince Oberyn Martell’s legs.

“You are fucking her?” Robe open and naked, the prince smiles from his relaxed pose in a Chesterfield armchair. The prince lustfully rakes me with those dark eyes from head to toe.

“No...yes. Yes. It’s more like...but not frequently. When she...” Dieter wipes his sweaty face.

“Booty call.” the prince chuckles at the words. “You’re the friend with benefits.”

“We both were.” I said. I struggle to contain my curiosity at the prodigious flesh that the prince was notorious of. I unconsciously bit my lips.

Prince Oberyn’s smile got wider; it showed a pair of dimples knowing what I want. “Javi too?” His Highness asks.

“Which one?” I look at the hands he extended my way; elegant, well-manicured and undoubtedly skilled in giving pleasure.

“I like this one. Come, ma cherie. I will know you....”

<>

A short while later, the princes’ bedroom door swung open.

I’ve been looking for...” Javi’s jaw fell to the floor.

’Your petit cherie.” The prince leans back at the headboard. “And you found her.” His highness gave a small grin. “I tired her out. I hope I did not step out of line with your hostess.”

“Uh...she can do what she wants.” Javi looks at the woman sleeping by Prince Oberyn then at the dress he picked out for her draped on the couch.

“That she did. Do you want to join us?” ‘Us’ includes the sleeping Dieter in the wide bed too.

“I think there’s not enough space.” Javi pulls at his silk tie, beginning to perspire.

“The whole room is a space.” the prince nods, he looks amused.

“I still have some business to attend to and the party is still going on downstairs. Is there anything you need, your majesty?”

“Yes. Max Lord is bad news. Do not get in bed with him literally and figuratively.”

“Thank you for the advice, my prince.”

“Thank your lady, not me. One more thing, my friend…” The prince glides long tapered fingers on the high and low curves of the smooth skin beside him. “How do we get rid of the bloodsucker in your house?”

<>

Downstairs in the study, Javi desperately convened a quick council of war to address the supernatural threat currently mingling with the partygoers.

″But why can’t you help, Agent Pena?”

“Is the vampire involved in drugs? Narcotics?” Javier Pena sniffs the whiskey in his hand.

“Uh, no? I don’t think so.” Javi said, baffled at the DEA agent’s question.

“Then I can’t help you.” The DEA agent tossed down the whiskey, accepts his leather jacket from a maid, and nods in farewell. “Adios. Thank you for the wonderful dinner, Javi. Your highness, Prince Oberyn.”

“Ah...me too.” Max Lord looks agitated. “I don’t know how to kill a vampire. I only know how to sell things.”

“And not very good at that either.” The prince murmurs, amused.

“What?” the businessman frowns.

“Nothing.” Javi gave a warning look at the prince who went to lounge at the love seat. The snake oil salesman followed the DEA agent out the villa.

Left alone in the grand hallway, Oberyn turned to Javi, his dark eyes sparkling with wicked intention.

“Where are we going, your highness?” Javi looks mesmerized at Prince Oberyn.

“Do you like what you see?” the prince smirks.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Many of my wives would agree with you. They like to grab them as I fuc....ah, you mean the robe not my royal ass.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Join us.” Oberyn opens the door to his room. “I’m not going to ask again.”

“Uh...′ Javi gulps once and another one..

The prince snickers. “I’ll let you watch if you want...”

“I’m…I’m not....”

“Your lady is still yours. Never fear.”

“After being with you she might not want me...” The breath is tight in Javi’s chest as if he’s going to cry.

“My friend, you’ve not been with her?’’ The prince’s expression was priceless.

“I want to be a gentleman…”

The blue blood sighs at Javi’s chagrin. “A gentleman…” The Red Viper of Dorne as he was fondly called takes Javi’s face in both hands and whispers against his lips, “…should take notes.”

<>

Atmidnight, outside, near the driveway, a heavily armed tactical gathering was taking place by the open trunk of an SUV.

“I heard Javi has a problem with a blood sucker.” Joel inspects the guns from the boot of his car.

“What’s your experience?” Dieter clutches at his cardigan house robe. The movie star shivers in the cold at the villa parking lot.

“Riot police.’ Joel told the actor.

“Body guard.” says the quiet Liam.

“Afghanistan.” Frankie gave a soft salute.

“War.” The prince of Dorne said lastly.

“To kill a vampire! Not people! You need silver! You need a stake!” The actor suddenly threw a tantrum. “Oh my God! Why the fuck am I talking to you clowns!” The angry movie star climbed the stone stairs back to the main house.

“He has a mercurial temper, that one.” The prince comments on Dieter’s abrupt exit. “But he’s open for anything.”

Javi’s skin still feels electrified at the ‘tutorial’ from the prince. What an experience. “Uh, I can fire a gun but…”

The prince slides his hand in Javi’s half open shirt. “Stay with your petit cherie and show her what I taught you, yes?”

“And when you’re done you’ll join us?” Javi surprised the prince at the shy invitation.

“Yes. Yes, I wouldn’t miss it, my friend.” His royal highness fondly grasps Javi G’s shoulder. “We’ll have a blast in more ways than one.” The prince turns to the waiting men. “Shall we hunt, gentlemen?”

<>

THE VAMPIRE HUNT

The maze-like gardens of Javi’s villa were bathed in the cool blue glow of the midnight moon, tall hedges casting long, sinister shadows across the cobblestone paths. Deep within the labyrinth, away from the thump of the party bass, Max Phillips had pinned one of Javi’s ditsy, half-intoxicated guests against a marble fountain. His dark eyes flickered crimson, fangs fully bared, ready to drain her dry—until the heavy crunch of gravel interrupted him.

Joel stepped into the moonlight first, wearing a worn leather jacket—his lucky one—shoulders squared, shotgun held at a practiced low-ready. Beside him stood the Prince of Dorne, twirling a long, silver-tipped spear with casual lethality.

When they had set out from the driveway, Oberyn had taken one look at the rugged, battle-hardened set of Joel’s jaw and immediately bowed out of command.

“You’re the one who survives the end of the world, my friend,” the prince had drawled, sounding like a prophet. The royal gestured with a gracious flourish of his hand. “Lead on.”

Behind them, Frankie ‘Fish’ Morales adjusted his tactical vest and double-checked the magazine of his rifle, while Liam silently glided into the shadow of a tall topiary, a silenced pistol in one hand and a combat knife gleaming with silver plating in the other.

“You’re going to kill him with that heavy piece of scrap metal?” Oberyn murmured, glancing sideways at Frankie’s modern assault rifle. “Where is the art? The passion? A gun leaves no room for the dance, my tactical friend.”

“Yeah, well, my ‘piece of scrap metal’ punches a hole through a target from three hundred yards while you’re still trying to do your little dance, your highness,” Frankie shot back with a smirk, tapping his helmet.

Liam’s jaw clenched. “Will you two shut the fuck up? You’re blowing our element of surprise.”

“Oh, look, the quiet one speaks!” Oberyn purred softly. “And he’s as charming as a cold bath.”

“Both of you, pipe down before I shoot you myself,” Joel snapped, his voice a gravelly growl that instantly silenced the squabble. He racked his shotgun with a lethal clack-clack. “Focus.”

Max Phillips sneered, letting the unconscious ditsy guest drop unceremoniously to the manicured lawn. “A broken-down contractor, a merc, a hired gun, and a man in a dress,” the vampire hissed, his voice echoing like a big cat’s growl. “You think you can hunt me?”

In a blur of superhuman speed, Max vanished.

“He’s fast!” Frankie yelled, bringing his rifle up just as a dark blur slammed into him, throwing him hard against the hedge.

Liam opened fire, the suppressed pop-pop-pop of his silver-tipped rounds kicking up dirt, but Max moved faster, weaving through the gunfire like smoke. Oberyn lunged, his spear striking forward with lightning grace, the silver tip grazing the vampire’s chest—but Max caught the shaft, yanked the prince off balance, and hurled him toward the marble fountain with terrifying strength.

But the prince wasn’t some coddled royal without any skills of his own. Even Max was impressed as the high born from the kingdom of Dorn pivoted in the air and bounced from the fountain and landed like a cat on his feet.

Joel lunged in while the blood-sucker was distracted, racking another shell, but Max swiped hard, knocking the shotgun straight out of Joel’s hands and pinning the older man against a stone pillar by his throat. Max’s fangs extended, gleaming in the moonlight.

“Work together or we all fucking die!” Joel choked out, slamming a heavy elbow into Max’s ribs.

Oberyn scrambled up, thrusting his spear forward to pin Max’s arm, while Liam lunged from the side to trap his legs, and Frankie tackled the monster low. For a second, the four of them held the thrashing, snarling beast—but Max unleashed a monstrous roar, his unnatural strength beginning to overpower all four men at once. The line was breaking.

BANG!

The sudden, deafening report of a heavy handgun echoed through the garden, shattering the chaos.

Max Phillips froze. A tiny, smoking hole appeared directly in the center of his forehead. The crimson light in his eyes sputtered out, his fangs retracted, and he collapsed onto the grass like a sack of bricks, graying into ash where he lay.

Standing at the entrance of the garden maze was Javier Peña. He lowered his smoking service pistol, his leather jacket draped over his shoulder, a half-empty glass of whiskey still resting casually in his other hand.

The four winded, bruised men stared at the DEA agent in absolute disbelief.

“You! I thought you said you couldn’t help us because he wasn’t involved in narcotics,” Joel panted, dusting off his jacket.

Agent Peña took a slow sip of his whiskey, unbothered, his dark eyes glancing down at the pile of ash.

“I checked his coat on the way out,” Peña said dryly, adjusting his sunglasses in the dead of night. “Found two kilos of cocaine in his pockets. Adios, motherfucker.”

Without another word, the agent turned on his heel and walked calmly back toward his car, leaving the rest of the squad standing in the quiet garden.

Back inside the quiet sanctuary of the master bedroom, the soft ambient glow of the villa’s lights filtered through the balcony sheer curtains as the clock ticked closer to midnight.

<>

Back inside the quiet sanctuary of the master bedroom, the soft ambient glow of the villa’s lights filtered through the balcony sheer curtains as the clock ticked closer to midnight.

“Mi querida…”

“Javi…” I look around but Prince Oberyn and Dieter left me alone in bed. “Where were…umm.”

“The Prince and Dieter? They’re hunting.” Javi’s voice was soft, sad.

“I’m sorry I had some….”

“It’s my fault, mi amor. I neglected you…”

Javi smiles at the kiss I gave him. “So we are both sorry.” I look at those adorable eyes as I invite him in bed by lifting the bed sheet.

Javi takes off his jacket and tie in a rush. “Happy New Year, mi amor.”

“We can apologize in here. Bring the fireworks here, my love.”

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