RIVER

Dream or Reality

(River)

My name is Arwen Juniper River Wraith Wolfe. Yes, I know, it's a bit of a mouthful, but everyone calls me River, or just Riv.

Arwen Wolfe was my grandmother's name on my dad's side, whom I never met, and Juniper is after my mum's sister, whom I also never met. It's always been just my mum, Clara, and me.

I'm twenty-one, nearly twenty-two, and I used to think I was quite ordinary, until two weeks ago.

What happened two weeks ago?

Well, I thought it was the worst week of my life, and guess what? I was wrong because even worse days were yet to come.

I split up with my boyfriend, Jamie that week. Yes, I know how pathetic it sounds even to mention him, the cheating arsehole, but then, two days later, I got a call telling me my mum had been in a serious car accident. I cried myself to sleep that night, but when I woke, I couldn't remember anything.

I didn't remember my past, my ex, or even the accident my mum was involved in, or her funeral. I don't recall waking up the next morning and finding my mum's notebook tucked under the floorboards, with strange drawings and writing that opened a gate between my world and Enor. Instead, I remember waking up in a strange room, utterly confused.

I looked around the little room with a tiny window, trying to figure out where I was, when a knock on the door startled me. I pulled the duvet tighter around me when I heard it.

“Sweetheart! Are you awake?”

The voice caught my breath it sounded just like my mum’s. My eyes widened as the door slowly creaked open, and my mum walked into the room.

“Mu–m?” I stared at her.

“R–iv? Have you been reading until the candle burned out again? You will ruin your eyes!” She chastised, as she always did, but I didn't remember that. I just gaped at her, looking confused as she eyed the burned-out candle on the bedside table with an open book, disappointedly.

“Your dress is here! I changed the buttons on the cuffs as you wanted,” she said, placing the floor-length dress on the edge of the bed.

“Dress quickly, I received a note from Blackthorn House. The late Duchess, Louve York is in labour, and she asked for us.”

I nodded as I got up and dressed after washing my face in the basin, but still, I wasn't sure why I was agreeing.

I looked at myself in the mirror after brushing my teeth and my long hair. I smoothed the coarse woollen skirt with my hands and looked at the sleeve cuffs, and then at the small ivory buttons carved from bone into wolf heads. I frowned as I did not recall asking her to change anything.

I stared at myself in the mirror.

My cornflower eyes were still puffy from sleep, my nose still sprinkled with freckles I disliked and tried to conceal with make-up every morning, but I didn't remember doing that. I just thought I looked different, but I couldn't quite figure out why as I examined myself and the scratchy dress that looked like it was from the fourteenth century.

“Riv! Your breakfast is ready!” My mum shouted from downstairs.

She startled me.

“I’m coming,” I shouted back as I left the room, rushing down the stairs into the kitchen, following the smell of toast. Our house back in Northwood Hills was always busy in the morning so this was nothing out of the ordinary.

“We must leave soon. The coach is waiting for us down the road!” She called after me from the hall as I had a quick sip of my milky tea and bit into a toast coated with a thick layer of butter and strawberry jam. Mum was already waiting for me in the small hall with a woollen coat with a large fur-trimmed hood and a good pair of sturdy winter boots, ready to leave.

The bumpy ride in a carriage became a blur, and I wondered if my earlier thoughts were just imagination, even though the room where I woke and the clothes I wore felt as if not my own.

I recall it was a bitterly cold day, and I was glad I had on all those underskirts, woollen tights, and knee-high socks to keep me warm. It was a sign that snow would come soon, my mum had told me, as she pointed at the grey sky above trees bending in the strong wind, not too far away from a large estate ahead with mountain peaks towering above that we were heading towards.

A wave of unease washed over me as we drew closer to the large estate, Blackthorn Manor. I felt it in my gut. I knew something was coming. I don't mean the heavy snowfall, something felt wrong. I felt it as soon as I stepped over the threshold of the house. I sensed it, not just the feeling of not belonging, but the strange presence in the house, as if I was being watched.

I tried to look useful and less misplaced. I really did, but I learned that night, I didn't know anything about midwifery.

I stopped whatever I was doing and listened to the outside heavy rain and wind, battering against the window, mirroring the beat of my heart. I took a deep breath to steady myself, and I let the outside noise and the hurried footsteps of servants fade away.

“Your Grace!” I heard a maid's voice echo through the room as painful groans of labour began. My eyes snapped open, noticing a maid curtsying to a tall, robust man in his late forties.

I did not recognise him.

I wasn't sure if I should have, but I curtsied along with the other maids and the midwife beside my mum, keeping myself at the back of the room, making myself small and invisible as I watched them interact.

“How are they?” The Duke of Blackthorn asked nervously as he took off his coat and handed it to the maid, glancing at my mum.

I observed everything, the way they all seemed perfect and secretive around me, like old friends reunited with a hidden secret. I decided then, that I wanted to know what they were hiding. I wanted to confirm my gut feelings, just to make sure I wasn't losing my mind.

I followed Mum and the Duke of Blackthorn. I caught his name, his name was Ragnar York. They both left the room after he greeted his wife Louve, but just as I approached the door, a whisper stopped me. I turned my head slightly, following the sound, and I froze.

I stood there in terror.

“Ri–ver!”

I flinched.

I heard my name being called, though I barely registered my mum's voice. My name sounded somewhat distant and muffled in my ears.

“Ri–v! Are you even listening to me?”

“I’ve seen something over there,” I stammered, pointing to the corner of the cabinet with a shaking hand as I slowly returned from wherever I had been, breathing hard as my eyes darted around in panic, searching for the shadowy creature I had seen in the corners of the room.

I didn't notice, I didn't see all those startled eyes in the room scrutinising me with looks. I was still in a daze, startled just as they were, when one of the maids shrieked in a shrill voice, pointing at me.

“It's her!”

What she meant by it, I didn't know then, and my mum didn't tell me until I found out myself the hard way.