Chapter 1
Ciara.
Four years ago, my mate died in the war.
Four years later, I was trespassing into another alpha’s territory to discover how.
The large, middle aged border guard blocking our path folded his arms over his broad chest.
He was… burly, to put it mildly, with wavy red hair and a massive dark brown beard that was dotted with white.
“We are Selenites, sir,” my companion Agon explained. The two other priests behind him bowed with their palms pressed together. “We are keepers returning to our temples across the Oldlands. We are repairing them, so that the Moon Goddess—”
The guard held a palm up to stop him.
“You’re not wearing the robes like them, woman.” He nodded his chin at me. “So why are you with them?”
“I’m a scribe,” I answered, gesturing to the large tome under my right arm.
He gave me another slow, suspicious once-over. “From where?”
“The southlands.”
He squinted at me. “You don’t look like a scribe.”
“Well, I was not aware scribes had a particular look.” I rested a hand on my hip. “The Selenites and I are neutral travelers. We have no quarrel with any clan, least of all the Veyr.”
“Even if that is true, I have been put under strict orders not to let strangers past our village borders.”
“By your alpha?”
“That’s right.”
“Then perhaps we might speak with him, sir,” Agon interjected, and passed me a quick, wary glance. “I am sure he must be a reasonable man.”
The guard exchanged looks with the other two men who flanked him. Then they all softly chuckled.
“Trust me, old Selenite. You would not want Aidan here.”
That in itself was ominous, but I couldn’t help myself from interjecting: “And why is that?”
His dark brown eyes met mine. “Because Aidan doesn’t usually bother to ask questions. He kills on sight.”
I huffed, incredulous. “Then how in all of Selene’s night does any commerce get done here?”
I gestured behind him. “Are merchants slaughtered on their routes? Are your roads lined with corpses?”
The guard’s expression flattened.
“Does this kill-on-sight business also apply to women and children?”
“I already don’t like your mouth.”
“I’m merely asking about the practicality of killing everyone on sight–”
“Ciara,” Agon began gently. The old man’s eyes were pleading. “You are antagonizing him.”
I sighed then waved a hand in surrender.
Agon turned to face the guard again. “Forgive our friend, she is travel weary. We all are. As I said, we only wish to restore the temple back to its proper state, so that Selene might bestow her merciful—”
“I don’t care about Selene,” the guard said, his voice sharp. Agon’s jaw snapped shut.
“I was tasked to guard this border,” the man continued. “And I say no. No, you do not pass.”
“Please–”
“Agon, hold on.” I rested my hand on the priest’s shoulder and squeezed over the dark purple fabric of his robe before moving forward.
The guard was a few inches taller than me. And perhaps three times my size.
The wolf inside me stirred with alarm. I ignored her urging me to back away. Instead, I smiled.
“Look, I know how these things work.” I gestured behind me to the Selenites. “And we are not against bartering.”
I pulled my leather satchel around from my back and procured several gold coins. My filled, upturned palm rose. “Will this do?”
His face fell. “You’re… bribing me?”
“Paying a toll,” I said with a hopeful smile.
The energy around us shifted and my smile faded. The guard stepped forward. and our chests almost touched.
“Veyr people are not persuaded by coin, woman.” He spat at my feet.
“I–I meant no offense,” I said quickly, now fearful as the guards began to approach on either side of him.
“Wait a moment, now,” Agon interjected. “There is no need for violence, sir. Ciara has been through a great deal. She is telling the truth, we are neutral. We seek to restore our temple.”
The priest gestured to me. “She is writing a book on the last Clan War. The temple may provide important information for her research.”
The guard’s gaze sharpened as he studied Agon’s weathered face, then back to me.
“Well, I don’t give a shit if you’re Selene herself. None of you are passing through. That's that.”
“Please.” Agon’s voice softened. “Her husband died in the war.”
My insides tightened.
“She is compiling records in his name and writing a book to honor him. Is that not a noble pursuit? Would you truly want to infringe upon that?”
The guard met my eyes again, and no longer looked like he wanted to throttle me. Something akin to pity or understanding took its place and my wolf was no longer scolding me for my recklessness.
For the time being, anyway.
“What was his name, then, woman?”
“Cassius.”
It had been four years since he died, yet just saying his name made the wound bleed as if fresh again.
The most beautiful man. My mate. My best friend.
The guard’s face changed into surprise as he blinked. “Cassius was alpha. Of the Southlands.”
“He was, yes,” Agon replied. “His brother runs it now.”
The guard’s shoulders slumped. He glanced away for a moment, appearing guilty. “Look, I don’t… I don’t have a say. I follow my alpha’s orders.”
Well, my new alpha ordered me not to leave the Southlands. Cassius's brother was a good man, but far too overprotective.
So I left, anyway.
Four years ago, a single letter had been sent to me, only stating that Cassius died nobly. No details or explanation. No account of what happened in those final hours of his life.
And so I spent four years ruminating, wondering why. I was determined to learn the entire story-- even if it meant putting my life in danger. It was certainly better than sitting at home doing nothing.
I pulled out my tome, pushed aside a folded-up map and procured my ink pen.
There was a small crack in the top, but I had gotten into the habit of pressing my thumb over the hairline fracture so ink didn’t bleed out.
“Perhaps you could tell me of your time in the war, then.” I held the tome open across my forearm and set the pen upon a blank space beneath other scribblings. My head lifted. “What is your name?”
The man stared at my book, then the various parchments sticking out of it.
“Garret,” he answered warily. His index finger and thumb gingerly picked up the small map I had hand drawn so he could study it. “I served under Aidan.”
I wrote that down and then flipped through to my index.
“Garret of Veyr, under alpha Aidan.” I repeated as I wrote, then glanced up at him. “Before, you looked… ah, surprised when I mentioned my husband. Had you met Cassius before?”
“Heard of him, never spoke to him. All allied packs did.” His expression softened. “He was a good man.”
My throat flexed as I glanced down at my book. “He was… yes.”
I brought in a steadying breath before looking back at him. “Which is why this book is so important. Please. If you let us through, I promise you that Aidan will have no issue with us.”
Garret said nothing for a time, staring out into the wilds behind us.
“Look.” He sighed. “Camp out here and give me a few hours. I’ll have one of the guardsmen send for him. I can make no promises that he won’t kill you. But if it’s an audience you want, I’ll see what I can do.”
I smiled brightly. Agon looked relieved.
Garret returned to his post. We all settled around a campfire and ate a small meal of dried venison and bread.
“I am sorry for telling your story without your consent,” Agon said, and I glanced up. “But it seemed to avoid violence.”
I smiled at him. “We’re wolves, Agon. Violence is inevitable.”
“It shouldn’t be,” he mused. After a moment, he added, “What will you do if Aidan does not let us through?”
“I don’t know. What would you do?”
“Selenites are not violent, I would respect his wishes. We would go on and find another temple.”
I frowned, pointing towards the village. “And you would leave that one in disrepair?”
“It is difficult to carry out Selene’s will if I am dead, Cia.”
I laughed and nodded. “That is fair. Cass was a man of action. But a wonderful diplomat. Alphas speak their own language… as you may have noticed.”
Agon glanced at me, one of his bushy white eyebrows lifted. “Is that your way of saying he was violent?”
“When he had to be. But not viciously so, no. He was more even tempered than I was, admittedly. When we were younger, and he became alpha… I remember he was challenged.”
“A battle to the death, I presume.”
“As did I. But, no. Cassius beat the man until his soul straightened out.” I smiled to myself at the memory. “And then, he… let him go. Violence is a language that he spoke very well. But he did not kill indiscriminately. Which makes me wonder…”
I glanced back towards the village border. “What sort of man that alpha must be to order his men to kill on sight without any context.”
“Perhaps Garret only said that to scare us off.”
“Maybe so.”
Agon looked upwards. “Only a couple hours left of sunlight. We should set up tents.”
I rose at the same time as the two younger priests did. “I would be glad to h—”
Warmth spread suddenly beneath my skin. A familiar… tug tightened in my gut.
My feet stumbled backward, and I landed squarely on my ass.
“Cia!”
Agon and another priest were at my side. They helped me to my feet.
“What is it? Are you alright?”
My heart was pounding. The wolf inside me raged and keened.
I couldn’t hear anything. Anything.
All I could focus on was that flicker of warmth. A warmth I had not felt for years.
Just as soon as it left, it came back and my breath caught.
The sensation spread through my chest and down my arms, wrapping around me like a blanket.
My wolf slammed against my ribs.
No. No, no, no. I knew this feeling.
I spent four years trying to forget it.
It vanished.
I sucked in a breath, and my knees almost gave out again.
“I… I need to sit,” I whispered.
Agon helped me back onto the felled tree I had been using as a seat.
“Thank you.”
“What happened?” he asked. “Are you ill?”
I glanced at him, then to the fire. My throat flexed. “You will think I’m mad.”
Agon blinked. “We both know full well you are not mad. Tell me.”
I exhaled shakily through pursed lips. “The mate bond.”
“What of it?”
I looked at him. “I felt it.”
Over the next two hours, the sensation continued to come and go.
Agon assured me I wasn’t losing my mind, but I wasn’t as certain.
Maybe... it was wishful thinking. Maybe it was… years of loneliness.
I tried to occupy my mind by reorganizing parchments and folded papers inside my tome. I studied a map of the Oldlands that were now broken up by clan territories, following the roadways of the continent speckled with Selene’s temples.
Wolf packs typically shared history by spoken word. But that proved inconvenient when most soldiers from the Southlands were unwilling to speak about the war.
There were unspoken atrocities they must have witnessed firsthand, things I could not begin to fathom, let alone ask them to recount.
The temples were my best chance of discovering the truth. If their records had survived the war, there had to be something. A report. A name. Some clue. Some account of what had happened to him in those final hours.
“There you are.”
I shut my book and looked up as Garret appeared through the brush.
“Aidan is coming.” Garret crossed his arms as he gazed around the campfire. “It was strange, actually.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, normally, the alpha would say just to kill or… stave off.” Garret sniffed. “But I mentioned you were Alpha Cassius’s mate and…”
He gestured vaguely behind him. “He changed his mind. Said he wanted to meet you.”
Agon held out a hand to stop me from rising. “Not alone, surely?”
Garret nodded. “Yes. Alone.”
“She’s a lady, it’s inappropriate. You cannot leave a woman alone with a pack she does not know.”
I gave him a warm smile. “You are kind to look after me, dear man. But I will be alright.”
Wolves in the Southlands were lean and swift. Veyr men were known to be hardy, strong… blocky.
“I can retreat quickly if need be."
Agon frowned as Garret snorted under his breath.
“That is not reassuring in the least, Cia.”
I grasped his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I will be back soon. I promise you. And we’ll be on our way to that temple.”
I rose and brought my satchel strap over my shoulder.
“Be careful!” He called after me.
I followed Garret and his guards through wooden and stone barricades.
On the other side, I could see the village in the far distance. Black silhouettes of stone buildings.
Torches had been lit, illuminating the road. The temple sat on the other side.
But a group of men blocked the path. Among them, I spotted the alpha.
A swathe of black hair, short but wild. Wide, broad shoulders. A dark cloak lined with fur.
Goddess above. This man was much larger than Garret or the other Veyr men.
If things turned violent… well, needless to say, Agon’s concern was warranted.
But I gathered my resolve.
Better to try than to do nothing at all, Cia.
“Aidan,” Garret called as we approached.
The alpha paused, then turned. A striking, handsome face quickly gave me an assessing scan before meeting my eyes.
The mate bond lit up and I stopped dead in my tracks.
My wolf raged, and raged. She knew him.
That wasn’t possible. Cassius’s eyes had been bright blue.
Aidan’s were brown and gold. His face wasn’t the same. Not even close.
The jaw was broader. His mouth fuller. His skin didn’t have the same warmth to it.
He wasn’t Cassius.
So why…
My chest tightened. For one impossible, heartbreaking moment, I could almost pretend that four years had never happened.
Why did it feel like I was standing beside my dead husband?
