FInding Heaven

…There was love in the air when you thought of me with care. Two already

on the way, how lucky was I to get a chance one day. I was created out of love

and my parents were blessed from above. For 30 years of my life I hated my creation,

because all I felt was the strife. The pain I felt was worse than stabbing me with

a knife. When I was born I had no sight, it was not until much later that God showed

me the light. I cannot remember the first couple of years I was alive, but I can

recall, my existence at the age of five…

…I was a fun loving kid. Normal I suppose, bratty at times but I was happy. How could I not be, I was blessed…

…being blessed is a wonderful feeling, God shows His mercy and your heart will

sing. Blessings are life long, not a one night fling. During hard times God is great,

just when your life falls apart, He sends His love and gives you a brand new start.

There are no special picks with God, although life may seem odd, He has a plan for

you this I know to be true…

…blessed with a beautiful family and friends…

…You know you have it good when your friends and family give you a wonderful

livelihood. Growing up feeling the love of your childhood. They are there for you

through thick and thin, with love in your life you always win. They show you the

way again and again. If I have nothing in this world that’s okay, because my family,

friends and God are permanent and here to stay…

…My first encounter with the spiritual world happened when I was five…

…Is there life after this, Is God real, a fantasy or simply a wish. I would like

to think He is alive, watching over us until the day we die. Souls go to church

and try to act good but they continue to sin, sometimes asking God for forgiveness

because their afraid, afraid of hell they will descend. If God is real and I would

like to think so, and if man truly believed how easy life would flow…

…It was something pounded in my memory never forgetting. Never forgetting the message God sent to me. It was a personal delivery, showing me God exist and He will be watching over everything I do...

…So God is true who made the skies and seas nice and blue. At the age of five this

was all new. Sure I go to church and Sunday school, and I believed that God does rule,

but what happened to me was kind of cool. At the time I had no concept of God

because I was just a child, but what He did for me open my eyes that even at my age I

could see He was my pal.

…My dad and me went fishing an early summer’s morning

…The bond between a son and his dad is a beautiful thing, when were alone

together my hearts sings. I have the greatest dad in the world, up early in the day

looking for worms in the soil. He takes me to fun places and once in a while

buys me a toy, takes away my fear and fills my heart with joy. I cherish my time

with my dad he is my best buddy my comrade...

…There was heat lightening in the air, but I was not afraid because my dad was there to protect me and ease my fears…

…Fear, such a devastating emotion, crippling, taking you for a backspin. Trapped,

feeling of being locked-in. It grabs your heart and rips it apart. Where does it come

from and how do you escape, leaving you helpless and your mind it will rape. You need

to be strong, like a superhero with a fancy cape. Courage is the only way, fight your way

through the dark day. People say to fear God but I say to love Him and give Him your

laud. When you think of God do not think of fear, but have love in your heart, and

you will find Him near...

…My dad did not witness it and I have only told a handful of people. Well, I had to fix my rod so I climbed up the bank while my dad was still fishing. I walked over to the car and grabbed the tackle box. As I was rigging my line, something forcefully but very gently told me to move five steps to my right. I know I did not have schizophrenia at the time and I was perfectly fine where I was, but I could not resist the impulse to move. So, I moved and in an instance I turned my head and lightening struck down where I was standing. I would have been dead in an instance.

…Death, must be popular because everybody experiences it, even the smartest ones

can not dodge it with all their wit. Death is a mystery, will it set you free. Are you ready

to die, can you look at your life and be proud that you were alive. Is death a portal

to another life. If so, are you ready for the afterlife. No one knows when their time

is over, so love one another and do random acts of kindness for him and her…

…The miracle took on longer than five seconds…

…How can someone define a miracle, well it is easy that can be explained

by any ole fool. It is simple and nobody has the same definition, it is personal

and for me it happened when I went fishing. One person’s miracle is different

from another, a child being born to a new mother, or having a best buddy or brother.

Could be as simple as waking up in the morning, avoiding danger by heeding another’s

warning, or like Jesus waking the dead and or finding the perfect mate to wed…

…Now you would have think that this freaked me out and I would have ran to my dad telling him what happened. This is the strange thing about it, I was not bedazzled but actually calm and relaxed. After it happened I joined my dad and continued to fish not even thinking about it. I was not until my late twenties that I mentioned it to someone. It was obvious that this was not my time and the Man upstairs had greater plans for me…

…Plans for me lay out from up above, delicately designed conjured with love.

God gives us free will and doing right your destiny will reveal. God has a plan

for everybody, no matter how much you sin, He leaves out nobody. When God

shows your plan it will hit you like a ton of bricks, you will be filled with love and

no more lovesick. No plan is greater than another and they all lead to the same,

the greater good for everybody in His eyes we aim…

…I still have not figured out why or my plans but one day I will. There have been many times in my lonely existence that I wish I was gone…

…Why do people wish they were dead, they pray they want wake up out

of bed. Can life be so cruel and dark they want to put a bullet through their

head. Is this the unforgivable crime that you cannot ask for repentance this

time. If you have never experience suicidal thought, do not judge me for the

good life I fought. Last option when things I cannot bear, how life seems so

unfair. ..

…The pain I have been through has been excruciating. I know I am only in my thirties, but I have seen, heard and dealt with trials and tribulations that I pray no one has to experience…

…Trials and tribulations, everybody goes through them. Some are hard some

are easy some even condemn. Would not life be easy without these, but the big

picture you cannot see. Without heartache how could we appreciate jubilee.

We would take happiness as it is not a gift, and care not for we will not treasure it.

By knowing pain and hard times you can love more and appreciate

these rhymes...

…Getting back to my childhood, I was a popular kid. I was a leader and excelled at anything I did. I was loyal to my friends…

…They are there for you in your time of need, they will pull you out of hard times

indeed. How wonderful love is from a good friend, they will stick by your side

until the end. Whenever you are in trouble or in pain, they are there by your side

keeping you sane. When you are lonely or upset call up a friend, they will ease your

mind and your heart they mend. Your honor they will defend, a true friend is

definitely godsend…

…One time at the age of eight, my best friend went to play with some other boys. I was protective of this particular friend because we did everything together. This boy twice our size started to wrestle with my friend and as kids go, playing around can lead to fights. The bully got mad and bit my friend…

…Why do bullies act the way they do, is it just because they want to be loved

too. Are they missing something inside, do they not have anyone to confide.

Please do not take my lunch money or joke on me because I look funny. I know

you’re bigger than me, you just need a friend this I can see. I bet if you have love

in your heart, you would not tear things apart. Let us be friends, take my hand

and your armor and weapons please disband…

…As the bully stood up, I jumped up and popped him in the nose. Through all of the confusion and quick reactions, I realized what I did. I knew I was ready for my beat down. So I did what any frightened kid would do, fight or flight, so I ran…

…Running, running as fast as I can, If I do not want to fight am I still a man. Frightened

as hell, trouble I was trying to repel. My legs giving out to the ground I fell. It was

time to face my demon, my mind in a tailspin. Feet no longer moving, my eyes started

weeping. Is this the end of me, I could no longer flee. My life was no longer carefree,

my grim fate I could foresee…

…I ran fast, but not fast enough. After I received my punishment, I did not care because I protected my friend and that is all that mattered to me…

…Protection, a feeling of strength and security, through all the haze and obscurity.

Look after me when I am in trouble, please do not let anybody pop my bubble.

I do not want to get hurt, please stand up for me and do not desert. Have my

back when I cannot do it alone, even if it is just talking to me on the phone. Hold

my hand when I face my adversaries, make me one of your main priorities.

Watch over me while I sleep, If I do not make it my soul to keep…

…Now do not think I condone fighting because I do not…

…Why do people fight, is it because they have no sight. Killing in wars for what,

more money, land, just a piece of the cut. Killing in the street, knocking out peoples’

teeth, stupid arguments will get you beat. Jealousy because you think they have

more you, why does that make you sad and blue. Do you want to beat them till

there dead, well let me tell you, you are misled. In God’s eyes everybody has fame,

nobody more nobody less we’re all the same…

…I can remember plenty of times where I was the peace keeper…

…Love, serenity, and peace. Everybody in this world deserves part of the feast.

Make peace not war, maybe a cliché but nevertheless words of wisdom to

live by every day. Jesus said love your neighbor, do well by people and develop

a great rapport. Ensure peace wherever you go, love everybody from head

to toe. Jump into the middle of a fight, stopping it and trying to shed light.

God wants everybody to get along, so stand up for peace and be strong…

…Not to tote my boat too much, but looking back at my early years, I had a good heart. I can thank my parents and my sisters for the love they shared is priceless. I could not have been more than seven or eight. I went with my parents to D.C. one day and got to firsthand see how unfortunate some people have it. The real world struck my heart at an early age. I was shaken up when I saw my first homeless person…

…We take for granted how good some of us have it. It may not be the best

home or food but it is better than nothing you must admit. A warm place to

sleep at night, a place to bond with your family to teach them to be polite.

Imagine it all be taken away, and you have nowhere to stay. No more food

on the table, no more job to keep you stable. Now life really is a struggle,

sleeping outside with no partner to snuggle. What are you going to eat, where

are you going to sleep. You have to resort to begging, humiliated and your smile

on your face is no longer grinning. So when you see someone down on their luck,

do not try to hid and duck. Help them out like they are your friend, because it could

be you not them, and remember God knows everything you do in the end…

At my age I only prayed at night like a routine to do before I go to bed. When I saw the pain in her eyes I begin to pray for her…

…When in despair all you need is prayer. Feeling down and no one to turn too,

let God hear your voice, He is there for you. Prayer is a powerful weapon,

bringing you to God’s place where He would like you to step in. Pray for the

sick, pray for peace, pray for the unfortunate, pray for your family and friends

pray for yourself, you need God because you cannot do it by thyself. When

you speak God listens, He hears everybody while no one is missing. If you

open your ear, you can hear God telling you where to steer. Pray when you

are happy, pray when you’re sad, pray when you have been bad. You may not

find your answer in an instant but you will because His works are never absent…

…This woman was eating a sandwich and she did not ask for any money. I know she was going through hell so I took out my last dollar and gave it to her. A dollar is like a hundred dollars to a kid, but I did not care. My heart told me that she could use this money more than me…

…People think if they had lots of money they would have it made. Buying fancy

cars, big houses, live in maids, jewelry every cool toys to upgrade. Let me be honest,

money does not buy happiness I must suggest. God’s non material blessings brings

true joy to one’s heart which keeps it from falling apart. Money is a quick fix for

happiness, it does not last as God will confess. After a while you get bored with your

possessions. Happiness from God’s love last forever, and you can use this gift

whenever. God gives you happiness for a reason, for truly being good, and to share with

others is where you should begin. When there is no more pain and heartache,

everybody will be consume with joy, for the Lord will be pleased and to Heaven

everyone he would take…