Chapter 1
Trevor prevailed in the doorway of the nursery resting against the powder blue painted doorframe with an
empty expressionless gaze watched his beautiful wife, Doreen. My Dori’, he considered how she harnessed so
much of her time in here solitary with only her tragic memories. She is now just ineffective vessel, her life
both fruitless and fragmented. Things used to be so lovingly diverse… Even through the five years of their
marriage, when they had endured six miscarriages together. This ended forevermore on the birth of their
beautiful son Jonathan who ceased to be shortly after his birth. He looked so perfectly whole yet lived for a
few brief moments. He did not even cry he just took one solitary breath. Dori did not attend his funeral, yet
she sits at his graveside for endless vacant hours. A woman misplaced powerless to be the mother she yearns
so desperately to be. Trevor leant on the doorframe trying to hide his despondency as he enquired quietly,
“Dori I ’am leaving now! Would you like a cup of tea or coffee in the garden before I go?” He would like her
to look up smiling and say, “yes, Trevor. “No, thanks.” She replied. Well at least she said something, that is
more of a response than he usually got. “Ok, just phone if you need anything and I will be here.” He wanted
to say phone if you ever need me but changed it to the word anything. Knowing the latter one would never
happen. Trevor leaves the front door ajar while going back and forth positioning his few possessions in the
boot of his Car. His mind wonders to his marriage vows till death do us part” He never intended to have an
affair; He frankly did not like the word affair, as it sounded so grubby. Affair suggests something new yet
within a marriage it’s always a final act! How cliché to say It just happened but it did. Anne and Trevor work
together in a Supermarket; Trevor an assistant manager in the frozen foods department and Anne a cashier.
Although Anne’s family are wealthy, meaning she does not require employment, she chooses to work. Her
alternative would be requesting her every need from staff on her family’s estate although she’s happy to enjoy
life’s luxuries with equal measure she holds some distaste for it. They began talking in the staff room, this led
to going for a after work drink which was frequently better than going home for both of them. Things quickly
escalated from there. Anne is so full of ambition and dreams; interested in him, he can recall a time when
Dori was. like that. He considered himself so culpable, hence he had to justify the affair to himself many
times. He cannot put his life in restraint incessantly waiting for Dori. She has just padlocked herself down
and solely of sitting at Jonathans grave or in his nursery. Just as Trevor secures his car boot, Kate pulls up
alongside him. Kate is one of Dori’s oldest friends. “Hi Kate, thank you for coming today. Oh, that’s ok How
is she?” Replied Kate. “Much the same, I have to shoot off I will phone her later. “Making a coffee in the
kitchen Dori had left the nursery; Kate did her usual greeting a hug and kiss on the cheek. Dori and Kate
have been friends since school and are very close. Dori, I have come to ask you a massive favour, please do
not say no. You know my friend Sarah the vet nurse Well, she is having a poetry group at her house on
Thursday nights; so far there will be five of us a midwife, an accountant, a teacher I think, and myself. Oh,
please come Dori it will be a small group just five or six of us, I do not want to go on my own please?” Kate
went on and on, “Okay!” snarled Dori, “for one week only!” I hate midwives “Brilliant,” said Kate, “I will
pick you up at six thirty. “Thursday arrived, Kate had made a bit of an effort, styled her hair and put on a lick
of make-up, Dori had not, Kate considered it prudent not to dwell on that fact, at least she was coming.
Arriving at Sarah’s house everyone was bestowing each other a somewhat over the top greeting. A bit too
familiar with strangers for Dori’s comfort. Once all settled on to a circle of pre-arranged chairs Martin being a
teacher supposed he ought to facilitate the initial gathering, out of his briefcase emerged clip boards each with
a piece of paper and a pen. He requested us to write down as many words rhyming with the word Cat as we
could. What a stupid exercise thought Dori who disliked him already. Dori was off her seat in a flash while
her twin sister Karen who had also been invited by Kate and sat next to her was pulling at her joggers to sit
down. “Are we children?” are we? Enquired Dori. What bullshit is this writing words that rhyme with cat.
Then something very odd happened, Dori stood for A few seconds staring over at Gwen the midwife, then
with no more interruption she sat down. She had recognized her as the midwife that delivered Jonathan .Ok
let us begin said Martin words that rhyme with Cat. Kate thought what fun it was like being back at school.
Swiftly reeling off her list.
he cannot get through, perhaps some locks are not meant to be undone. She declines therapy, her life consists
CAT, FAT, RAT, NAT, HAT, BAT COMBAT, THAT,
AT, SAT, FLAT, PAT, MATT, CHAT, STAT, DAT,
SPAT, TAT, BRAT, GAT, SCAT, SPLAT, THAT,
PRATT, VAT, PLATT, KAT, MATTE, BEGAT,
GNAT, FRAT, PHAT, ACT, CONTRACT.
Shuffling her chair closer to Dori, Karen her non identical twin whispered, come on Dori join in” But she
had no intentions of playing Martins stupid exercise. Instead with her head down her thoughts were fixated
on Gwen. Dori could visualise her with this fake smile on her face. Passing her dead baby Jonathan to her;
She got the blessing of holding him alive for a split moment in time. When Dori had got to hold him, he was
already dead, he must have thought the smell of her was his mother. How dare that bitch have that moment?
The briefest of moments that belonged sacred to Dori had been denied her. Truth was there had been no
time to pass Jonathan into the waiting arms of his mother, but Dori needed to direct her hurt somewhere.
The group moved to sit on the sofa for a coffee, which was how the meets would be, Poetry, coffee, small
talk then home. Then bossy boots Martin asked what they considered of the first meeting and what they
would like to get-out of them in in future meetings! Most responses Dori considered to be lies, for example to
be able to understand and appreciate the poetry of, Blake, Wordsworth, burns etc. Dori said that it was
juvenile being asked to rhyme words with Cat. Martin responded that it maybe conceivable the group was not
for her. She soon replied, are you implying that leave when it is not even your house” Quickly butting in Zac
said, “of course not. “Next week the group will be held at Gwen’s house. While driving home Karen who was
giving Dori a lift questioned what she thought about it, well, what she thought was that she did not
understand why her sister Karen desires to fritter her Thursday evenings with such assholes. “Come on
Karen! I know you like a good rhyme in a birthday card, but not this mode of shit!”. Karen stopped the car in
a pull in, did one of her dramatic hit the steering wheel a few times and scream. “I slept with this bloke
Adrian. He is gorgeous I felt so alive, he is a writer, he fulfilled me. Entered me completely and I was his
forever. Dori sat thinking can she get any more dramatic while already knowing yes, her sister certainly could.
Karen went on to say she had loaned him large sums of money, paid his bills, and given him expensive gifts.
The conversation rested for an uninterrupted waterworks episode while she enveloped her arms around
herself, Karen has always been a spectacle empress. Anyhow after the drama while still sobbing she exclaimed
he had lied to her, He has not paid her back, and he will not open his door to her or answer his phone. “Is
that all,” Dori retorted. “Okay! Let’s kill him!” “What?”“ You heard let’s kill him!” Dori repeated. “I am going
to kill Gwen and that Martin if he is not cautious. Anyway, what has poetry Thursday got to do with Adrian?”
Karen who was still sobbing muttered “He is joining the group; Sarah found out and told me.” “So why are
you are going?” Asked Dori. “I crave to see him face to face.” Admitted Karen. “Come on Karen there has got
to be more?” “Well, he did open the door one time, saying if I do not stop harassing him, he is going to tell
harry. ”Oh, you mean Harry your long-suffering live-in partner? Who doesn’t know about this latest affair.
What is he going to do if he knows?” throw a tin of whiskers cat food at him? Here is a tissue dry your eyes
and your nose it is dripping! “Come on sis let’s go to my room for a glass of wine, do not worry I will kill
Gwen and Adrian.” Said Dori. Thinking Dori was being flippant Karen chuckled saying, “Okay that sounds
like a plan. “The following Thursday at Gwen’s house Martin took the floor of course. He had brought with
him an oversized noticeboard, Dori thought he must have transported it in an arctic lorry. “I will leave this
here with Gwen’s permission and the group can pin their poems on it.” He had barely completed his sentence
before both Gwen and Sarah produced some poems they had written like rabbits out of a magic hat. Oh tits,”
Dori said and Martin gave her one of those schoolteacher glances. After leaving the room to answer the
doorbell Gwen reappeared announcing, “This is our latest member, Adrian.” Dori turned to Karen and
winked miming a cutthroat action with her hand. All the while Martin continued educating the group like they
were idiots, there is an importance in inserting nouns, pronouns, verbs and all punctuations in relevant spaces
within poetry. “Dori knew it was probably bad manners to interrupt two consecutive weeks, but Martin was
growing on her short nerves. So here goes “excuse me Martin, poetry is unrestricted from the customary rules
of literature, it comes from within us the obscure and the bright parts, through the depth of our darkest
points. I shall write, as I desire.” Said Dori. With a fake cough mumbling quietly of course you will. he flakily
cleared his throat and suggested they all endeavour to pen a poem. He most probably used all week to
compose his and will spout out some extraordinary masterpiece. They were allocated ten minutes, Karen
observing Dori writing, gave a knowing smile, contented that was taking part. One by one the author of each
poem read theirs aloud. Then it was Dori’s turn. Fat combat Cat splat that rat. “Dori could see Martin was
furious. Then just to annoy Martin even more Dori asked him top in it to the notice board for her, pop it
front centre please lovie so everyone can see it. “I thought we were following on from last week,” It was soon
time for the group coffee. Next week it is at Adrian’s house. While driving home Dori questioned why Karen
had not kicked Adrian in his bollocks’ because he spoke to me in Gwen’s kitchen saying that I should come
up with some excuse why we should leave the poetry group. I am beginning to think your right, we should kill
him,” What a bastard,” Dori said, delighted they were on the same page. “Let’s kill him first. ”Have you
visited Jonathan?” Said Karen. “No, I am not going to his grave again until I have killed Gwen? “Dori and
Karen share dry sarcasm often where a line is confused between truth and fiction. “Should we go to the
poetry thing next week?” Asked Karen, “Bet your ass we should!” Smiled Dori. “Dori, I was not going to tell
you, but Anne has had a miscarriage, Apparently, Trevor wants to draw a line under it and not try for another
baby. Sorry Dori, I should not have said, are you okay?”“ Yea I am okay.” She was not okay, she felt like a
shattered vase, like cleaning the wreckage chipped a few fragments away. Only, semi glued back together
forever leaking the lifecycle within it. Trickling away one despondent drip at a time. Karen aiming to change sharply.
Karen pulled up to the house, “Oh look, here we are at your stop madam. That will be six pounds
twenty including the tip” she joked, “see you one day in the week or perhaps tomorrow at the café for
breakfast? “Before Dori could get out of the car Karen asked how they were going to kill them? She did not
like blood! “Leave all that to me, let us meet in the café tomorrow and I will tell you the proposal.” said Dori.
The café they often refer to is just a kitchen and not a café at all. It’s their shared kitchen, as Karen lives in
Dori’s converted garage. They did not meet up due to work commitments. Karen waxes people’s bushy bits
for a living and had a regular client to fit in who required a bikini wax urgently. What an appalling career
waxing fannies for a living, thought Dori. Two days later Dori’s Phone rang at 4am. It was Karen, “Adrian’s
Dead!!! Wake up, I am putting the kettle on. ”Did you kill him, Dori? No of course you did not, what am I
saying” Dori enquired how do you know Adrian is dead? Who told you? In a manic tone Karen said the
police, Adrian must have something connected to me in his flat. They have asked me to go to the station
today; I don’t know what for. I’ve told Harry that Adrian is a friend from work. Dori just shrugged oh well
the plot thickens. The topic changed as quickly as it had begun, seemed neither had much concern about it.
Dori sat down with a coffee. Have you written your poem for Thursday?” Said Dori. “No, have you?”
Replied Karen. “Not yet I will write any old rhyming crap, I am only going to pursue Gwen.” Did you know
there is a new member, Angel she is a model apparently, I’m told very beautiful.” Added Karen. Dori
sniggered out loud saying, “One gaze at us two she is in for a surprise, who both dress hippy/biker,” Dori
had a long plait in her hair rainbow coloured however Karen preferred shorter hair in a shaved design. “Dori
there is something I have to tell you, but I am so frightened.” You can tell me anything Karen, we are twins
and buddies. Just spit it out girl! ”Anne paid for a private postmortem, on her dead foetus. Desperate to know
if it’s something she did or ate. Anything she could do or change to avoid it reoccurring. The result was the
fetus had been pumped full of drugs.” “The bitch,” Dori shouted, “She killed her own baby! “No, Dori, you
have it all wrong, Trevor has been arrested he swapped anti sickness pills for high doses of Naproxen and was
the topic said, “we should go and visit Mum? ”What and miss pissing Adrian off next week?” Said Dori
administering them to Anne every four hours or so.” Said Karen. Anne was suffering extreme sickness, not
just morning sickness but all-day sickness. Dori just sat there stunned; in place of anti-sickness tablets, he gave
her Naproxen tablets. He did that to me too? Did he? “So, Trevor killed Jonathan?” and the others? Did he
kill the others? All my babies. “Yeah, it would seem so Dori, I am so sorry! He has pleaded guilty to
Jonathan’s death. He said he did not want any Children. “How do you know this? I bumped into Anne’s
sister Connie in the chemist. “Where is he? Said Dori, still straining to absorb what she was being told. “He is
remanded in custody Dori.” Said Karen. Dori just sat there, I thought he loved me, that he would get my pills
for me with a glass of juice. I never looked at them just took them. My miscarriage’s, I blamed myself. Do you
think they felt pain as he poisoned them? “I am going to kill him,” said Dori coldly.
Sighting an attractive woman disembarking from her car, Karen and Dori hastened over to her, “Hi, you
must be Angel? Lovely to meet you shall We walk in together? Do you know why Martin altered it to his
house? This week?” Said Dori without stopping for Angel to answer. With everybody inside and seated
Martin began, “possibly some of you are already aware that Adrian has been found dead in suspicious
circumstances murdered. “Everyone looked around at each other in silence. It reminded Dori of a modern
game Cluedo,” Was it the eastern European trafficked housemaid in the bedroom? Or perhaps the naked
butler in the conservatory, Martín continued. “His house was broken into the back door had been forced. His
body found the by his brother. The postmortem exposed that he had been injected in the heart, neck, temple,
just behind his ear lobe and groin with large amounts of household bleach. A bizarre murder to say the least.”
Well, I’m not certain on the facts, but that’s what his neighbours are saying. Dori interrupted saying that
perhaps the murderer did not like the sight of blood and asked if we would be rhyming anything with cat
words this week or taking on the role of Miss Marples and annexing his torture paraphernalia. Going on to
say let’s rename this group “the know-it-all group” also Martin you should know better than listen to
neighbours gossip. Ignoring Dori’s comment Martin continued, “I know everyone will be feeling distraught,
so, I moved the group to my house this week and I will do my best to support you all. I have spoken with the
police to tell them that Adrian was a valued part of our Thursday poetry group, they will at some point want
to interview each of us. Not overly valued, blurted Dori he only attended twice, personally, I do not know
about the rest of you, but I thought he was a prize dick! Martin clipping the end of Dori’s sentence off How
about we move to my garden I have arranged an area of seating on my newly stained and polished decking?
How rude am I? This is Angel our newest member, none other than a model,” he exclaimed. Dori has to
interrupt; she thinks it is expected of her. “Martin what is your idea of splendour? Mine is a bar of fruit and
nut chocolate, putting a few squares of it into my mouth with a swig of hot tea and anticipating the melt,
bloody lovely.” Also, Martin you did not introduce any of the rest of us by occupation first. Seems a bit pervy
to me. Martin again, completely ignored her and continued, “we can resume with our poetry or just sit and
use this opportunity to get to acquaint ourselves with each other? ”Great idea, let’s start with Martin!” Said
Dori sarcastically clapping excitedly. Martin at once was out of his chair, “my birth name is Mabood Abebe, I
was born in Johannesburg; I am single aged twenty-eight, I educate year five students in mathematics.
Although Dori had gotten off to a bad start with Martin she did think he was a reasonably handsome man.
He was well dressed and obviously well educated. Would you like to go next Gwen? ”Oh ok! My name is
Gweneth Evans, I am twenty-six years old, single from St Asaph in Wales. “Angel with her pouting lips
requested, say something in Welsh. Quietly Gwen muttered Pryhawnda, that translates to good morning”
“Wow, say something else”. Said Angel. Dori suggested good evening cos it’s not morning and martin likes
accuracy, don’t you martin. Gwen who was uncomfortable in the limelight muttered Sarah yn troi” which
translates to Sarah’s turn. ”My name is Sarah Campbell, aged twenty-six, I am very good friends with Dori, I
am a veterinary nurse, by my accent and surname you will already know I was born in Millport in Scotland,
now I will pass the baton to hmm Angel. “With her exaggerated lip filler, cheekbone implants, and silicone
boobs big enough to float from France to Dover on. She began all sexy and sultry, “My name is Angel O
Sullivan I am twenty-four years old; I am a model from Kinsale in Ireland. “Dori enquired if Angel was her
actual name? “Yes, it is, I was born Mabel Murphy, but improved it by deed poll thus, making it my legal
name! Is your real name Dori? Or is it something to do with the animated exploration of a fish? “Martin
chuckled, adding the comment that there is nothing wrong with improving oneself. Dori said, “I will go next;
it will complete the British Isles. Martin, would you like a tissue? Or have you finished gazing and drooling
over Angel? If so, I will begin. I will speak for both my sister & myself.” Dori began. Looking straight over at
Martin, occupations first I am a skin artist, and my sister Karen waxes fannies for a living. Someone get
Martin additional tissue I believe the term fanny has him dribbling again. “This to Martins dislike caused a
ripple of muffled chuckles around the room ”“Karen and I are Twins from Fulwood in Sheffield both aged
twenty-eight, with Balls of Sheffield steel! And over to you Kate,” chuckled Dori. “Thank you, Dori, my
name is Kate I have been a friend’s with Dori since school. I am aged also, from Sheffield and I am a waitress
also, a barmaid. ”Lastly is it my turn asked Zac? my full name is Zeehan Singh aged twenty-five, which is the
name only my parents use, everyone else who knows me calls me Zac. My parents were born in Mumbai
India; I was born in Edgbaston Birmingham, look at us currently from all over the country now all in
Somerset. I’ am an accountant and would like to share a notion with the group. If we all remunerate a sub
every week, at the finale of each year we could go on a poetry trip! “Dori clapped her hands oh goody a trip
out together where’s my diary I must keep that day free. “Splendid,” said Martin, “I will organize it! if anyone
has written a poem this week, I will pop around to Gwen’s and pin it up. “Of course,” Dori had to say
“Whoop eeee get a room you two, it was obviously why he was leaving his noticeboard there! “Martin was the said, “
well-done Martin that was extremely philosophical,” and joined in when everyone clapped.
“HOMOHABALIS
HOMOHABALIS HUNTS FOR FOOD
I SHOP AT SAINBURYS
HOMOHABALIS BEDS IN A CAVE
I REST IN COMFORT
HOMOHABALIS FIGHTS TO SURVIVE
I AM LESS CONTENT
TO EACH OF US A SEASON!
The next Seven days coasted mundanely on and in a few stints of the clock it was Thursday once more.
Dori organized Karen’s evening and with all welcomed in. Soon Martin rapidly commenced spouting; with a
solemn expression he announced Angel had misled the group linking herself to our group with the sole
intention of stalking Adrian. He spoke with enormous disapproval. Apparently, she had endowed upon him
gifts and money with her advances unprecipitated she then murdered him. At that point Dori butted in, “and
only person who had written one, which he recited aloud with artistic prowess. Dori was not impressed but
my husband Trevor hung himself with a bed sheet, He had ripped it into a tourniquet in his prison cell! Guilt
for killing my Jonathan, I hope, which has saved me the job of killing him.” I hope it was slow and painful.
Martin who had already been informed of Dori’s current situation by Gwen, happened to be surprisingly
sympathetic. His arms embracing Dori as he gently said if Dori needed to talk, he was there at any time. It
was comforting being enclosed in his arm’s, she felt trivial but sheltered, His arms felt strong and he smelt
inviting although She will still take the piss when the opportunity arises. As thee embrace freed Martin gently
held Dori by the forearm commenting that a clock was unusual tattoo choice, pulling her sleeve over it Dori
replied I like clocks. Driving home they created humour of Martins poem likening him to a cave dweller and
Zac’s testicles being made of Birmingham silver! What was Martin’s hug like? Although Dori would only
divulge this for a bewildered moment it was an appreciated tender attachment, and before Karen could say
anything Dori said, “no I do not fancy him. “Parking outside the house Karen said, “let’s have a coffee in my
room, we go to your cafe all the time? “Dori grinned and nodded, but in theory they will still beat Dori’s
because Karen lives in Dori’s converted garage with a small extension. “You have had a move around since I
was previously here! Where is Harry’s trophy collection of cat food tins? What a bizarre thing to collect? How
many has he acquired?” Quipped Dori. “It must be hundreds.” You have a weird taste in men! It’s not like
you even have a cat. I have not moved them anywhere! Harry moved out! I think he is having an affair, we
were spared topping Adrian and Trevor, so I want to kill Harry instead!” Said Karen with a joking chuckle.
Dori wasn’t even sure that there was a Harry, she had never seen him, but the cat food tin collection had
certainly gone. “Come on Sis, put your ass next to me” and so it began, one of Karen’s award-winning
episodes. Why she is not in Hollywood is a mystery to Dori. Karen, did you know the statue of liberty is a
welcoming symbol of freedom, ”“What? ”I put dramatic confrontations into my phone and that is what came
up. They both started laughing. “Let’s have a glass of wine, you could sleep here? ”Oh, fuck it why not.” Said
Dori. “We need a plan that involves no blood! We should come up with something ingenious like Angel did!”
Spoke Karen. Thinking boisterously Dori suggested going for a walk then pushing him into the road, they
could act truly upset and say he skidded. ”Or we could invite him around for a BBQ and shove him off the
trampoline? “After annihilating the second bottle of wine the notions just got impractical. “Karen did you
know in 1410 a court Jester told Martin of Argon who at the time was consuming a whole cooked goose, that
there was a deer hung by its tail in the vineyard it must have been caught stealing figs”, and Martin of Argon
died of laughing. Do you know any killer jokes you could tell Harry? “Enquired Dori. Hà, I know! Buy the
piss worm a scarf! In 1927 Isadora Duncan wearing a long scarf that caught in her car wheel broke her neck. I
wonder if we’ve ever seen her in any of the old movies we’ve watched. We used to love watching the old
black and white movies, with some skinny woman in the passenger’s seat, her scarf blowing in the wind. With
Her suitor driving his 1930 model ford convertible cabriolet car to some secret hideaway for a picnic. And all
those childhood stories where a prince, and sometimes a knight in shining armour saves the day. “Dori, I
think we are both very drunk, I am going to bed night sis. ”Next thing! “What time is it?” Said Dori. “10 am
get up, here is a cup of tea, said Karen putting it on the bedside cabinet beside her sister. Martin phoned
proposing that everyone Congregate at the Quantock hills, as it is Saturday to get selected inspiration from
the forest. He thinks a surprise outing will get our poetry juices flowing. Karen said they would be there. He
also wants to introduce them to another new member! Once congregated Martin handed out sheets of paper.
“Before we start, we have a new member. This is Alfred, we need to speak pronounced and loudly as Alfred
is partially deaf and has come without his hearing aids.” Said Martin. Alfred is twenty-four and studying
politics, he also lives in Somerset. We should separate into three groups meeting back at this spot at two thirty
sharp; I hope you all remembered your lunch box? ”Gwen, Kate and Sarah, you are group one, Zac with me,
Leaving Dori, Karen & Alfred collectively as the last group. “Wait, Martin, are you sure you do not desire me
in your group? Smiled Dori. “No thank you Dori. Karen, Alfred, and Dori wondered through the copious
woodland to a break in the trees at the most beautiful spot, looking down there was a massive drop. Looking
up a waterfall. The sound of the water rushing down through the rocks was so peaceful. Looking through the
cascade of water it was visible to see all kinds of water grasses swaying in the flow and moss clumps attached
to the rocks. Far in the distance was the faint purring sound of lumberjacks chainsaws logging. They all
laughed when Alfred misheard logging for dogging. Still laughing at Dori suggesting that dogging maybe the
reason Martin and Gwen choose this destination. So abrupt, so inflexible to define how fast yet how slow the
motion as Karen pushed Alfred over the cliff. He plummeted, rotated and landed. Dori stood there is silence
for a few seconds looking over the descent. “What now,” Karen said, Dori overwhelmed with a mixture of
sheer disbelief and shock stood frozen to the spot. Dori needing more time to absorb what had just happened
suggesting “Let’s meet everyone up for lunch and act stupefied, saying Alfred was upfront of us and we
supposed he would already be back here. ”Karen quite factual saying it is a good thing they have secured their
first kill. Continuing now it is done, who’s next? “If we are going to be good murderers we need to kill, and
now you have. “Said Dori still in a state of shock.
A year had passed and Alfred s body had not been located, the search for him had terminated and the
compulsion to kill again was overwhelming Karen. “Let’s kill one of the poetry group?” She said. “No Karen,
the group has been through too many deaths already!” Dori replied. “Dori it was your idea to kill in the first
place! Why are you are backing out now? “There is absolutely no point in Dori replying while Karen is having
one of her Empress outbreaks. It is a bit like getting a mouse and thinking your cat won’t chase it. Their
parents had always given into her as a child and so did Dori, she is so used to getting her own way and never
settles for less than that. After sitting through her waving, kicking and screaming agree with her, anything to from
Alfred’s murder Dori endured that day over and over in her head. She couldn’t seek help how could she
go to counselling and say I’m here cos I watched my sister push Alfred to his death. Thinking a change of
surrounding’s may help, eight months later they had sold their town house and with the assistance of the bank
of mum and dad had purchased a secluded property in the Quantock hills. For Dori this couldn’t be any
worse, but spoilt Karen wins again. They now live in the very area where Alfreds bones lay; Dori will spend
every night waiting for his ghost. Karen secretly wants to border the home with a circle of trees with a plaque
renaming their new home “The green circle”. Excavating deep and implanting a corpse under each tree, she
was both enthusiastic and definite in her thoughts that this would work because under the second planted tree
lays an anonymous body of a male that came to his demise at the hands of Karen or so she later says. For
some reason Karen tries to either shock or frighten Dori as if to keep her in line in some way, like she has a
prerequisite to befriend and control her simultaneously. Although at the time Dori nodded she very much
doubted there was any corpse. The second deep-quarried hole probably ten feet in depth lay an unidentified
corpse, or so Karen says! Quantities of earth, coloured gravel, and a tree spouting out of the top, it looks
worthy to the eye and imaging the house ultimately encased by Karen’s green circle which to her is pleasant
thought. A tree representing a life, does equate to something better than a headstone. Karen, be ready to leave
in five minutes or we will be late again for the poetry evening.” Said Dori. Thankfully they reach Kate’s on
time which meant they escaped a lecture about the positives of good timekeeping from Martin. Always the
schoolteacher! Martin enquires if anyone has composed a poem since their previous meet, those who had
done so handed them over enthusiastically Martin, who looking over to Gwen with an affectionate beam said
he would assign them to the notice board. Dori whispered to Karen not sure how she delivers babies when
she cannot even pin a poem up without help, there followed by Dori and Karen a month’s pause from the
group to relocate into their new home. Which had triggered Dori to temporarily forget Gwen; “I retract what
I said about killing no one from the poetry group! What I meant was just Gwen and no one else.” During the
shut her up! OK Karen, but only if it is not any member from our poetry group! Twelve slow months on
tea break of their first meeting back Zac collected everyone’s subs while Martin recommended next week we
all assemble at the green circle, which everyone settled on. He also considered a pace or two on Kilve beach
on Saturday which could give everyone inspiration, it being a famous fossil beach with crab pools. Saturday
arrives and once Martin had equipped everyone with paper and pen off they all stroll. The instruction from
Martin was to jot down what they see. The visit was curtailed short when Sarah twisted her ankle triggering
Martin and Zac to carry her back to the cars, followed by a visit to Bridgwater’s minor injury unit. Resulting in
no treatment and a diagnosis of a twisted ankle. So, it was the subsequent Thursday at the green circle the
group progressed to read their list. Well, it was not quite that simple, nothing ever is with bossy Martin taking
the reins. Martin read a word from his list seaweed” saying if someone had seaweed on his or her list scribble
through it. He resumes with his next word Crab” anyone with the word crab scrawl through it and so on. At
the end of Martins monotonous game, he said no one not one of us had perceived anything that no one else
had seen, “we must examine inside ourselves, we must seek and see, are we going to be respectable poets?
Yes.” Everyone repeat yes, come on after three, one, two, three. YES. “Dori could sense her brain dwindling
away. “Now that hits done Martin can we have a cup of coffee?” “Yes, Dori we can.” Sighed Martin. Dori
was relieved that the lesson was completed until Saturday came and they were called to again examine Kilve
beach with pad and pen and see something no one else see’s. I n expectation of getting, it done they were all
intensely looking cross, it off if anyone else has it in the game was a wallop in the face except for Dori, who
had the announcement Belemnite! It satisfied Martin for a fleeting second in time until Dori owned up saying
she had Googled infrequent things on Kilve beach.“ Cannot somebody here see that I am wearisome to
encourage you to find your true self?” Said Martin. “I understand,” said Gwen. Of course you do think
Dorito herself.“ Why don’t you all come to the green circle on Saturday, I will do a barbeque, and we will all
take one of Martins pointless implementations seriously.” Said Dori. She soon wished she had not bothered,
once She realized the exercise was to look inside ourselves and express something we have mislaid. “Go on
then Martin you go first, what is it you have lost?” sighed Dori. “I have lost my sensitivity! As a child in
primary school, throughout college, university and even as a teacher in a classroom this very week the colour
of my skin seems to be a pursuit.” They sat in silence as he resumed. “I do not cry myself to sleep about it
anymore and have not for years. I no longer feel sensitive about it; others have directed fun and hatred at me,
for a while I directed it back. I would be deceitful if I said I have absorbed insufficiently to learn to live with it
because I have not, it is wounding like a blunt blade now it has no sharpness to damage me, just jab and prod
like maintaining me with life for future torture. Without doubt due to being asked if I swing from trees or eat
people or have a large penis, I feel powerless to feel sensitive or share sensitivity with someone and that is a
much worse future torture. “With the seated circle of people completely silent Dori said, “Let’s eat before it
gets cold. “Zac gathered this week’s subs and little snippets of humdrum chitter chatter broke the sound of
the circle of silence. Martins voice was masked out, while trying to say we have time for one other person to
express their loss was by Sarah who was deliberately raising her voice asking for proposals about that years
group excursion should we collect adequate subs .Dori suggested anywhere but Kilve beach, which She
thought was funny, other ideas, incorporated Burnham on Sea, Watchet, and London. Group meeting over
for this week and working from home in a room which Dori had turned into a tattoo studio. She conversed
away to a chap she was remodelling with ink. A sphere of insipid speckled skin was coming alive with an
inked dragon. He chatted away presenting her an ex-girlfriend identification on his shoulder that he enquired
if She could conceal. After the unimportant dragon was complete, he laid in a face down a position. A pose
Dori favoured for back and shoulder work. People arrive for a tattoo almost invisible but leave upright and
confident. Karen brought them both in a cup of coffee, just in time for Dori as she needed a break from
concentrated on inked art. When Dori awoke, he had vanished, Did She pass out? Was She dreaming? She sat
confused with fuzzy thinking. She later found out from Karen that he was going under tree number three.
Dori did not totally believe Karen, as she was sure that for some logic Karen tried to scare her, was it to hurt
her or keep or safe? Astonished feeling only numbness, Dori listened to herself saying I do not know his real
name I think he could go by the nametag Freedom. Karen said Oh well he is free now! The freedom out there
that awaits us all-time without an end. “Karen you are an ass I liked him,” said Dori, pretending to believe
her. While assuming he just left when something happened to her. None of it made any sense, he left without
paying, did you see him go. “Oh, chill sis I will make you another coffee the status Qu appeared too
opportunistic to pass up. After all we do need to get the green circle completed. ”Next time Karen, kill one of
those fannies you wax and leave my patrons alone. ”Okay sis, will do.” Dori worried about her health, why
did she pass out? Is she ill? Thinking she will make a doctor’s appointment. What if it’s a brain tumour? Dori
was given the all clear by the doctor after numerous tests results found her fit as a fiddle. She tried anxiously
to put her fainting episode to the back of her mind. It is challenging to stay mad at Karen, and they were soon
best mates again, it is not her Dori gets maddened by it is her compulsions and lies. On Tuesday before noon
Dori responded to Martin ringing the doorbell. At first doing a fake yawn by his presence, a I am bored by
you type of yawn. Martin and Dori sat outside on the grass. “It is beautiful here Dori,” said Martin. “Yes, it
is!” She replied. “Did you call for an intention Martin,”? “No, just passing by and thought I would pop in. ”It
was obviously more than just a passing visit, as they sat chatting through several coffee. “I can see poetry in
you Dori, it is in your eyes and profoundly internal where you have chosen to snare it. You should free it
Dori!” Said Martin. “Martin is this your chat up tête-à-tête?” “No Dori, midst the entirety of our group you
have what it takes laying secretly inside of you to become a published poet, why do you suppress it? “Flicking
her hair back out of her eyes and massaging an empty coffee mug she looked at Martin and after a second or
two and with composure said, “Martin, you do not know me. Anyhow, you’re just passing and I have washing
to do so I will see you Thursday at the poetry meeting. “Smiling he countered her, “There was a statement of
poetry in your last sentence, ’passing through &washing to do ’bye Dori see you on Thursday. “Wednesday
Dori knocked on Martins door, “Hi, just passing and thought I would pop in for a coffee. ”I was just
leaving,” muttered Gwen, who looked a wee flustered to see Dori. “No need to go on my account, the more
the merrier or so they say. “Gwen replied, “I Won’t stay, thank you, I have things to-do.” Dori said “Just us
two then, shall we sit outside like we did at mine? I like the fresh air. ”It is poetry group tomorrow, Dori,
have other and laughed. “Dori, one day next week if your free of course perhaps we could go out for a day”
“Perhaps. If I’m free.” She hastily added. Dori did not know why but She cancelled a client and made herself
free for the following Wednesday, which is when Martin drove them both to Fyne Court nature reserve. Dori
liked nature and walking. They paused to inspect spiders, ants and copious other creepy crawlies which make
their homes amongst wildflowers, grasses and tree trunks. This is a place that you have to walk slowly through
or they would miss all those things. She walked as slow as She could, “Martin did you just see that snail go
passus.” Dori laughed. Martin had formerly found her quips of sarcastic humour displeasing but now he
smiled at them. He took off his jacket and furnished it across a fallen tree trunk where they sat and from his
backpack emerged a flask of coffee, sandwiches and two slices of jam roly-poly, which he had made himself.
“Martin we should have brought our pad and pen to jot down inspiration,” to which he replied always have
one with me if you want one? Although I will bring to mind today without jotting it down. ”Martin, what is
the deal with you and Gwen? Are you an item? “Examining his feet, which were gently flicking at the grass he
responded, “it is complicated and to that Dori said, “Items always are! Are you going to tell me? It is ok if you
would rather not. ”I would rather not but I will. Gwen and I went to the same university, lodgings, books and
living the university life costs money, which I had none of; I sought work and blamed my lack of success on
my skin colour. I aspired to stay at university and become a teacher it was my dream, many of the females
discovered making money easy. A few men departed gave up went home discovering their aspirations too
problematic to realize, But I would do 15anything to stay. I am ashamed and unashamed that back then I
became a male escort, I desperately did not want to do this, and I cannot tell how nauseous these encounters
made me. While part of these I continued to pursue work, it makes me feel sick to remember I was party to
these things. ”Martin where does Gwen fit in all of this?” “She was my pimp! Gwen set up the encounters
and the I gave her ten per cent of my earnings. This is how Gwen could afford to remain at university; I made
her lots of money for once in my life the colour of my skin made me a popular choice. “Tears streaming
you written anything. ”Of course,” She replied, passing through with washing to do” and we gazed at each
down his cheeks Martin looked at Dori saying, “do you remember at one of our group meetings I said I had
lost my sensitivity? I lied.” I abhor what I have done and hope my teaching goes some way regarding
forgiveness. The bossy schoolteacher had become real, vulnerable, almost pupil like. “Martin, she is dead, I
am going to kill her, what a bitch .Did you know Martin she is the only person to hold my baby alive; she was
the midwife that delivered Jonathan and I hate that she held him alive and I did not. I am vexing to find some
dumb ass quip to fracture the coldness, but I cannot, so how about a coffee and hug. ”Dori that sounds like a
delight.” In his arms she hears him say sorry about your baby, she replies in a whisper sorry you were an
escort. Still in his embrace She quietly remarked, “you did not answer the questionnaire you and Gwen at it?”
Putting his mouth next to Dori’s ear, she could feel his warm breath say, “I wish the answer was no.” “So, she
is blackmailing you of a sort?” “Yes and no, I love my job, I love teaching, you know a female scorned etc.
So, I feel I need to be obliging towards her needs, if it ever got out, I would lose my job.” Surprisingly the
walk back to his car and the passage home was jovial. Dori thought she might have made a new friend. Some
of the hurt that filled her once sat alone in the nursery was lifting from her. Thursday arrived and Gwen
cheerfully welcomed the group .Martin asked for ideas on a new theme, Dori found herself standing up and
saying ‘freedom’. “There is lots of forested land next to the green circle, do all come for another barbeque
and we could try to think what choice means to us. Who was it that wrote, Freedom is the right to choose
your own prison “anyone know? I think it may have been Nelson Mandela in his 1994 book long walk to
freedom,” said Dori. Martin nodded to her as if to say yes that is correct, perhaps Martin questions her
intelligence a little whereas in fact Dori is a well-educated woman, the enormous hurt she carries coupled with
her outspoken attitude possibly gives the appearance of her being less than she is. Dori continued to speak,
“Personally, I am at a place in my life that I feel freedom more than I ever have, but itis a bit like the last coin
in my purse I have to be careful where to spend it. Is it ok with the group if I speak a little on my freedom.
“Continued Dori Everyone nodded? “I thought I was free to choose who I married, I tried for a family, I
thought I was free and with this freedom Iwas walking a path, of constructing prospects.” As Dori hesitated
and looked around the room her mind veiled and frozen. At that Dori looked over to Gwen saying, “coffee
and biscuits would be nice about now? Dori left the group early that evening and driving home, she was
forced to brake suddenly when Karen who was absent from the meeting this week had walked out in front
other car. This behaviour is not unusual for Karen, so She felt quite unshaken by it; She had no time to speak
as the spectacle empress beside her is exhibiting fury! With a shove Dori directed her into the passenger’s
seat. “Where have you been? What about me? What about our plans? “Parking the car, and out of the
passenger’s side like a bullet around to the driver’s side, Karen pulled Dori by the arm, “look, over there look,
again, I had to do it by myself. I cannot do this alone! “Flustered Karen. Tree number four his name is Art,
“He was strolling around our grounds looking suspicious, so I tiptoed up behind him and hit him on the back
of his head with a stone. Once he fell, I hit him repeatedly, I sat beside him for a bit I might have even
collapsed asleep beside him I cannot remember. I scrutinized his face with my fingers telling him he was an
unappealing man who will now become a handsome tree for all time. “Dori without making it obvious
scanned her eyes up and down Karen. A stone she thought to herself very unlikely and no blood splatter on
Karen.
