I CRY FOR KAREN PART TWO

Summer bequeathed an autumn that quilted the backdrops of buildings with oranges and browns. With

winter now upon them the group’s thoughts turned to if and where to hold a Christmas party. Suggestions are

due in at tonight’s poetry meeting, Sat nestled in her Pyjamas Dori glared expressionlessly out of the window,

at the trees that start to form the green circle. The last three were on three individuals occasions, Karen

though they may have been foragers gathering mushrooms, wild garlic and a range of berries and wild herbs

that grew in abundance amongst an ambiance of vegetation. Dori believing none of it sat musing to herself,

one tree has no remains; it is just there to symbolize Karen s first kill, and the man, she pushed over a cliff.

The only definite kill Dori is certain of. Dori is certain, Karen pushed one over a cliff because she witnessed

it, but as for all the others is Karen going mad? Why is she saying these things? Dori suspects the trees have

no one beneath. Dori had gently quizzed Karen about Freedom, the man she had tattooed a dragon on, she

told Dori that she had not blacked out, but rather Karen had put sleep medications in both their coffees. Dori

suspects that Karen only put medication in hers and frightened or threatened the bloke away. Next the man

Karen thought was named Art, and four, five, and six were three foragers. Karen has named the trees 1.

Clumsy, 2. Dragon, 3. Arty,4. Mushroom, 5. Garlic and 6. berries. Dori pondered if She were able to see

beneath the earth what it would look like, empty or bones? Flesh suspended from bones? All flaccid and

baggy! Why is no one looking for them? How abysmal to be lost with no one to recover you. While thinking

of being lost the doorbell rings, with a huge smile and hug Martin reveals he has something to show Dori.

Walking out to his car there it was a charming fluffy kitten, “my new housemate, do you like her? Her name is

Penny. “Dori was glad that Karen had gone out walking when Martin arrived so thought it best not to

advocate a stroll to Martin as Karen could well be clonking some unfamiliar person over the head with a

stone. Leaving Penny caged in Martins car they went to the lounge for coffee. “Pointless taking two cars Dori,

I can give you a lift to Zac s tonight if you do not mind diverting to mine first to drop Penny off, is it still a

BBQ here next Thursday?” Said Martin. “I think so,” replied Dori. With all that established they arrive at Zac

s abode. Kate and Sarah were snuggled by a radiator warming their hands from the winter s chill, while Gwen

and Zac were seated discussing winter vegetables. Gwen had settled on parsnips being her favourite, best

when roasted and drizzled with honey, then looking up at Dori suggesting it too cold for a barbeque next

week and thought we should all bring an item of winter food and share a warm hearty feast together.

Great her that Gwen has to be eliminated. Gwen had made them winter pudding. She self-importantly passed out

slices of winterberry shortbread with the option of cream. Without a thought Dori blurted out how lovely are

these? I need a piece of paper and a pen; I could ink a poem about them. The group a bit stunned that there

was no correction this time from Martin. The next day on visiting Martin Dori quizzed him where Penny

was? “Oh! Gwen fell for her and has taken her home. ”Has she now! Why did you let her take her?” Said

Dori. It was obvious in his voice that it was not what he wanted to happen? “Let’s have a coffee it does not

matter!” Said Martin trying to sound cheerful. But it was most certainly relevant to Dori, knowing the address

of the breeder of the kittens, she went to see her and acquired Martin one of penny s sisters. Only to find out

Gwen thought penny needed a friend for when she was at work and homed the second kitten, which she

named Petal. My sister Karen s outbursts were zilch equalled to the rage Dori felt inside. “Right, that is

fucking it I am going to buy you a man eating Komodo dragon, once we have trained it to kill, all you have to

do is make certain Gwen takes it home ”“No dragons please,” Martin replied with a huge smile on his face.

“Okay then I will make a sham friendship with her and then kill her,” said Dori with a thought-provoking

look on her face. Not thinking it even possible, Martin gently says that you would do all that for me?” Mid-

week Dori popped in to see Gwen. Within five minutes of her arrival, Dori started with fake sneezing ensued

by brushing fictitious cats’ hair off her clothes. “Gwen, I do not like to be rude, but have you got a pet? There

is a horrible smell in the air and your hosting the poetry group here tomorrow night. Would you like me to

help you clean? Oh, it is coming from them I presume as I observed two little furry things frolicking with the

hem of the cream-coloured curtain. Sorry I have not finished my coffee Gwen but to be honest I am finding

the smell overwhelming and I think they could be what is causing me to sneeze. I wish you well tomorrow

evening, but I will excuse myself from attending. “That evening Martin rang Dori to say; you will never guess

what has just happened? Gwen has returned the kittens she said with her manner of work she thought it

inappropriate to have two kittens. Also, would you like to come here tomorrow you can help me rename

Idea, the deal was sealed. Dori wished Karen had not stopped attending, as She felt a compulsion to inform

them?” “Oh! I would love to Martin, but I have already agreed to go to Clark’s village shopping Centre

tomorrow for a girlie day out with Gwen. Replied Dori happily. The day out went ok, Dori agreed with

Gwen’s bullshit, chuckled at her jokes, and accepted her offer of coffee on their return home. “I have had a

pleasant day Dori thank you for inviting me,” said Gwen “Yes me too I must be away now and unpack my

bags. I fear I may have been lured by many a good deal and overspent.” Said Dori. Back at home Dori looked

for Karen and found her in the kitchen, “I do not see you around much these days, Karen is everything

between us, ok?”“ Of course they are,” she responds. The poetry evening at Kate’s was ok and the following

day Dori went to Watchet harbour with Gwen. After both agreeing on how beautiful Watchet is, Dori asked

Gwen if she had known Martin for long? “Yes, since our university days, I was reading politics but later

dropped out to learn midwifery. Politics is so full of distrust, whereas passing a newborn baby to its mother’s

breast is so magical. It is an honour to be present during the rawest and open part of a woman s life, she has

had all her scans, she feels her baby move and kick inside her womb yet there is such stillness in the air until

she hears her baby cry. Then the room breathes and an anxious shadow disappears leaving the room light

once more. ”What about the babies that do not breath?” Asked Dori. With anguish in her eyes Gwen speaks,

“I remember every one of them; I feel each mother’s pain but have to hide it to do my job. There is no

training that could possibly be enough to offer ease to those mothers; my first experience of this was after

road traffic accident, I was in the long queue of traffic caused by the accident and walked to the scene

offering my little medical knowledge. Unaware that a woman involved in the crash was not only dying but

also giving birth. Trapped in the wreckage and me being the only midwife on the scene, I pulled her dead

baby daughter from between her legs and placed her on her dying mother. I told the mother she had a prefect

baby girl, and everything was going to be ok; I managed to put one of her arms around her baby the other

arm was trapped in the wreckage and mother and baby both lay dead. Dori, I do remember your birth and

baby shh please do not Gwen! Do you want children Gwen? “Perhaps in the future Dori, I was pregnant

once, but she died inside me at five months gestation. In some ways I was pardoned your pain as you

expected a healthy living baby whereas I had a few hours’ time to prepare for a dead one. I named her

Angelica because she was my little angel, Gwen was Martin the father, no God not his name was Stephen, we

met at university, I am ashamed to say he was one of my lecturers a married man with two sons, wonder

where he is today? ”Changing the subject Gwen, are you coming with me tomorrow? I have a present for

Martins cats first birthday, only a couple of cat toys a wind-up mouse and a pack of ten Ping-Pong balls.” Said

Dori. “Yes, I would like to come with you, thank you Dori! Did you know he renamed them Rosie and Dolly?

Putrid little creatures,” and they both laughed. “Gwen have you ever fancied buying a bottle of wine and

getting totally rat assed,” said Dori. On a daily basis Dori! “Replied Gwen. “Ok then, it is a date girly drunken

sleepover. Yours or mine?” So, it was arranged Saturday night at the green circle. “Shall we invite Kate and

Sarah? Asked Gwen. “Nah let’s tell them afterwards, a drink and a gossip just us two.” Smiles Dori.

With everyone sat Martin began! “I have done all I can think of in the search for Dori, she has been

missing for four weeks. ”AWOL, “said Zac. “Yes exactly,” snapped Martin. “I have knocked on her door

numerous times and phoned her mobile phone; which has been turned off, I think it is time to contact the

police. “Of course, the police with extensive powers to search for missing people soon solved the issue. At

the next poetry evening Martin announced their findings! Dori was in Sheffield staying with her parents, the

police officer had spoken briefly on the telephone with Dori smother who informed him from time-to-time

Dori suffered bouts of depression ever since the death of a sibling and has no date has yet to return to

Somerset. She is safe and well and wishes to be left alone, a police officer from Sheffield has visited her family

home and is happy with the outcome. Martin continued, “I know Dori has a twin sister Karen who attended a

couple of poetry sessions a while ago. But was unaware she had lost a sibling! “Kate suggested they all write a

letter to Dori that way she can read them when she is ready, Martin thinking it was a splendid idea suggested

“if everyone pass them to him, he will see if the police will either divulge Dori’s parents address or pass the

letters to her. “Once the letters were written and tendered with the help of an online quest Martin acquired

Dori’s parents address and with a tank full of fuel and his favourite last night at the proms cd he begins his

journey to Sheffield. His arrogance thinking to himself she would run into his arms and her depression would

dissipate coupled with the fact he missed her justified his decision to go. Martin had a nature about him that

could manipulate people and he knew this. Hours later and certainly surprising Martin awake enough

sufficiently after his long journey to slam on his brakes and there was Dori walking along the Sheffield high

street with a bag of shopping. “Why are you here Martin? Go home! ”Please Dori we are friends I would like

to help! “Pleaded Martin. “Help I want no help from you; Gwen told me all about it you are a paedophile. ”It

is not like that Dori please get in the car let me explain, please give me a chance.” Said Martin.“ Ok, you have

got five minutes, turn the engine off and give me the car keys; I will return them to you in exactly five

minutes.” And in exactly six minutes if you are still talking, I will throw these keys down the drain. “Shut up

Martin I will speak first, Gwen and I shared a bottle of wine, well in fact three bottles, Gwen told me

everything, she told me it started with age consenting men and when it turned into paedophilia is when she

wanted to leave, but you did not want that did you Martin? Who then would arrange the meets for you as

Gwen had been doing? Who Martin who? In a rage you pushed, I can hardly bring my tongue to mouth your

actions! You pushed Martin yes, you Martin the paedophile pushed the pregnant Gwen who subsequently fell

losing her baby daughter. Go on Martin it is your opportunity it had better be swift as there is only two

minutes left!” Shouted Dori. “Dori when it is said as you have said it, what horror and tragedy, I did not have

relations with one minor not one Dori and that is the truth, I swear Dori I swear, I had no evidence

but my heart I had no relations with either of them. The group had got out of hand and there was gossip

surrounding its activities saying celebrities had become involved. Gwen and I were a nonentity yet at the same

time something; I think nowadays it is known as friends with benefits. We had a spat because she was leaving,

going to a different university to study midwifery and I did not want her to go. She was my friend I wanted

her to stay! Yes, selfish I know. At the time she was striking me with a textbook, I went to safeguard my face

and she lost her footing, Gwen would never disclose it, and I suppose now I will never know but I consider

the baby girl was my daughter.” Replied. Martin. Stop, that is your five minutes, I cannot bear to hear

anymore here are your car keys, go home Martin! Said Dori. While Dori climbed out of Martins car, he says

“Dori why don’t I find a B&B, and we can talk again tomorrow.” I do not want to lose you. With both of

them out the car Martin stood by the driver’s side leaning on the roof and Dori stood on the passengers’ side,

Martin said “I could pick you up tomorrow from your parents’ house and we could have lunch somewhere

and talk this through, I do so miss you Dori”. “Martin, I swear do not ever go to my parent s house, I will tell

them about your past if you do. Leave my parents alone they have been through enough, and my twin sister

Karen has no need to be involved. Go home leave us alone. “Once Dori had walked off, Martin considered

trying to speak to Dori once more in the morning but decided against it. After sleeping in his car in a car park

he awoke early and started his journey home to Somerset.

It was not until the spring Dori returned home to Somerset, she did not recommenced poetry classes but

fathom there may have been two underage males involved in the group both fifteen if I recollect, but hand on

had met up with Gwen a few times for a coffee. Answering the door supposing it must be Gwen but instead

there stood Martin. “I would say go, but you are here now so come in, and I will make us a coffee”. With her

back directed towards him while filling the kettle with water She perceived the words, “Dori, I am in love

with you.” A void inside Dori had longed to be loved, the word love cushioned her, it made Dori feel young,

and part of what something could be. She halted unbendingly still for a moment then realized they were

grasping hands while ascending the stairs in silence. His body was as soft as satin his regimen of massaging

skin oil in his body each day most certainly worked. Just the very top of her fingertips explored him and he

was beautiful. Nakedness discloses a morality about our bodies every little furrow and imperfection laid bare.

With every thrust of his groin, she could feel so much hurt deserting her. As martin went to speak, she gently

put her finger on his lips whispering Shh do not speak and he followed gently putting his finger on her lips.

The event owned no climax only conclusion when they heard Gwen ’s car approach and both giggling hid

very quietly under the freshly laundered covers. She will know that you are here because your car is outside,

“Martin responded in a low voice, “we will say we had gone for a walk. They lay there in a close embrace until

Dori said! “Listen that is her car pulling away, I think the moment has gone let’s go downstairs for a coffee. I

will show you where everything is and that way you can make it next time.” Martin expelled a short laugh

saying, “Oh there will be a next time? “They spoke awkwardly like two strangers, asking questions the

answers to which they already knew she thought her phone ringing gave both relief and excuses. It was Dori’s

father phoning to tell her that her mother had fallen over and was in hospital. It is nothing to worry about just

a few small cuts and bruises and that he would phone her again later once she has been discharged. Dori

explained this to Martin saying she was going to Sheffield to see them and please no shadowing this time; she

will keep in contact by phoning him. He agreed and promised her he would not appear. On arrival to

Sheffield her Mum was at home, minor bruises but ok, she had missed footed the back step while doing a

little gardening. She admires her back garden and enjoys entertaining affirmative observations on it from her

neighbours. She enquired how long Dori was staying for, and Dori replied to a couple of days depending on

her mother’s recovery progress. Stay the week her mother requests, as she would like it if Dori would go to

the grave with them. Having been in contact with Martin daily and to be candid finding him a bit penurious,

she hesitantly approves a lift in a week’s time home to Somerset from him, under the stipulations he waits at

the bus station and does not go to her parent’s house. The week passes quickly and it being the last day,

Martin crooning lyrics to a tune on the radio spots Dori with her parents walking through a graveyard gate,

odd he thinks to himself where is Karen? Dori is carrying her suitcase so must be meeting him afterwards to

go home. He thinks he will let them visit their family grave privately, together then appear to save Dori a trek

to the bus station with her luggage, which was their agreed meeting place. But it seemed pointless to Martin

that Dori would have to walk to the bus station when he was already here. From a good distance he could see

them all crying, Dori’s mother is cleansing the headstone with love while her father is disposing of old flowers

to replenish them with fresh ones from her mother’s garden, Dori is stood quite still facing the grave. Martin

gazes around at so many cold slabs of marble stood upright and proud, row upon row of stone identity cards,

giving the smallest amount of information of the bones that lay beneath. The freshest of flowers feast about

the headstones mostly to celebrate a birthday wedding anniversary or some other memorable date for the

living. As Dori and her parents walk slowly away, Martin strolled slowly closer stopping to read epitaphs as he

went “here lays my little boy taken by the angels age two years”. He pauses with a lump in his throat, then

realized Dori and her parents are getting ahead so He sped his step-up, only stopping for a quick glance and

an on the move snapshot on his mobile phone of the headstone belonging to Dori s sibling and then catching

up with them. A brief politeness with Dori’s parents but once alone Dori was livid, Martin trying to clarify his

motives did not help the situation. He drove home alone and after remaining with her parents for two more

days Dori followed by bus journey. It took a few days before she would answer his calls or open the door to

Martin. After some mixed consideration Dori decided to return to the poetry evening, Kate hosting it that

week welcomed them all in. “Dori welcome back we have all missed you let me acquaint with you to our two

new members, “Kate’s hand motions Dori to the first new member. “Dori this is Shannon, age 26, single, and

a secretary from Newcastle now living in Somerset. Dori said, “Alreet. ”Yes, I heard you were the entertainer

of the package. “Yes, a funny clown snapped Dori available for children’s parties. Kate hurriedly moving on,

“And this is Sargent Thornbert, “Oh, please calls me Candy, my name is Candice, but I am universally known

as Candy. I am a widow of a serving police officer, who was killed on duty, and a police Sargent, but since my

husband’s passing, I only work part time. I have three fully-fledged children, and I have just moved from

Exeter to Taunton. I have been very much looking forward to meeting you, Dori!”

Why am I here? Why has it taken you this long to come and visit me? I am not crazy “I know Dori! I

asked you about your twin sister Karen, I revealed to you an image of the headstone I took on my mobile

phone; It was a bit blurry as I was rushing to catch up with you when I took the snap. It was the headstone of

your twin sister Karen. You went crazy when I showed you the picture; you had an extreme melt down; I

phoned your mother who told me Karen died at age seven and that you have never come to terms with it.

She gave me a hospital number to phone and said her and your father were on their way. The upshot is you

are sectioned under the mental health act, and you have been given a bed and a room in a mental health unit

for an assessment.” Said Martin. “Martin I am scalding with annoyance, how could you, of all people to

believe I am crazy? ”Dori, I want to believe you, truly I do! I do not think you are crazy I think you are

unwell, I have communicated with your mother on the phone, who tells me Karen died in a car accident

aged sister Karen was in the car. Your mother was driving back from a day trip you had enjoyed at Burnham–on–

Sea and the car you were in got hit by a speeding intoxicated driver. Karen was pronounced dead at the scene.

“I know all that, Martin!” Said Dori. But you have met her at the poetry meetings you know she is alive.

“That all occurred, but a few years ago Karen telephoned me, she did not die in the crash. ”Dori you must

know that does not make any sense at all? Whose is buried in the coffin in the Sheffield graveyard if not

Karen? Dori this is all very upsetting for your mother. Just before Dori could answer visiting time was called

toa halt, as it was time for Dori’s medications followed by a pre-arranged counselling session. “I will see you

again, next week Dori is there anything I can bring in for you? ”Just a cake with a file in it Ta. ”As Martin

approached the exit Dori called over to him,“ Oi Martin, a coffee and walnut cake, and a sheet of sandpaper

to keep the file sharp,” Martin looking back smiled, blew a kiss, and disappeared from view. At that evening’s

poetry meeting some of the group handed letters for Dori to Gwen who had a two o ’clock visiting slot with

Dori the following day. Throughout the visit Gwen was enthusiastic to communicate with Dori about her

perceptiveness on mental health, saying how she had visited this unit various times to see new mothers

undergoing treatment from post-natal depression and how confident she is just like them that Dori will be

home again soon. Dori as flippant as always, thought she must know if anyone has dug a tunnel out of here.

Dori was relieved to see her go and just as relieved to see Martin on his following visit. He handed Dori a box

of chocolates revealing apologetically no cake or file! Martin the drunk driver hit my parent’s car, and it

gyrated facing our car before coming to a halt some distance ahead; it ruptured into flames within what

seemed to be mere seconds and to me aged seven it presented like the enormous bonfire, fragments of light

flickered and exploded in the air. Both my parents had facial injuries. Mum whose face was masked in blood

reasoned dad had both Karen and I with him when she went in the first ambulance in the knowledge her

twins were safe with dad. Dad binding me so close to him I could hear his heart thumping while blood from

his face trickled onto my face, thought mum had Karen with her. It was many hours later when the fire had

seven. I truly understand how much you want her to be here. Your entire family, your parents you and your

been put out that burnt bones of a child were found. It was assumed that Karen being thrown through the

windscreen had landed some distance ahead where the drunk drivers’ car had also halted and combusted,

burning Karen leaving only her charred bones behind. And no postmortem or investigations took place. The

new Karen’s story was very diverse at first, Dori was cautious and did not trust her, but she knew things that

only Karen could know. Karen says that the drunk driver now known to us as Stevie Switchford was part of a

paedophile ring and that he was not alone in his car during that crash, in the backseat was a young child a girl

possibly aged seven or eight who had been kidnapped while walking back from a local shop where she had

gone to buy some sweets. To this day she has never been discovered. And remains as a missing child. The

case is reviewed from time to time, same old story evidence lost etc. Being restrained by a man named Cubert

Holding, when the crash happened Cubert managed to get out the car which burst into flames he tugged the

little girl out by one of her feet, but she had caught a lite so kicked her under the burning car close to the fuel

tank and left her to burn alive. Cubert grabbed Karen, who was disorientated from her injuries and wandering

around up by the car in flames, and the pair disappeared. The driver Stevie Switchford Who was known to

the police and on the sex offender’s registrar died in hospital shortly after the crash from his injuries”

Dori, I have sat outside your house everyday as you asked me to do, in anticipation of sighting Karen. But

I have not seen anyone excluding the postman.” Said Martin. “I hope Karen is ok Martin! I will ask for my

house keys so, you can bring me my mail, be very vigilant please do not scare Karen if she is there. Karen

does not like people she has some unattended injuries from the car crash which have left her a little

deformed, a crooked arm but she can use it perfectly well and a few scars on one side of her face, well you

know about her disabilities from seeing her at the first few poetry sessions. Martin nodded in agreement; he

had indeed met a woman who accompanied Dori but explained to Dori that it was the police questioning her

existence not him. Martin I am forgetting things, the medications they give me makes me forget. I could once

memorize my life flawlessly yet now only through a veil that blows in a breeze, If I stay here much longer, I

think I may undeniably go mad. I guess if I deny the existence of Karen one of two things will occur. I will be

discharged or be identified insane for making her up. I have not made her up Martin she is my real sister! You

do believe that don t you? “You have met her; tell them it is Karen, they will believe you respectable

schoolteacher! Visiting Dori’s home with an unstable hand Martin slowly unlocked the door, calling, as he did

so not to panic Karen if she was home. The post was on the kitchen table indicating someone else had been

in. He determined to look around the area that Dori had always referred to as Karen’s part of the house.

There was positively nothing apparent to imply Karen lived there. Martin knew Karen needed to be found

and quickly. He then looked into an office room with a desk a computer and a filing cabinet, on the desk lay a

book inside the handwritten text had the heading Karen’s letter. He rested himself on the wooden desk and

began to read. Dori, you will know me by the name Karen and from somewhere in a distant haze I too recall

that name as mine or maybe not, I have forgotten so much. There was fire, smoke and screaming, the

screaming of that time still haunts my mind, I recall blood on my face it felt densely warm and my left was

arm hurting me, I think I tried to walk towards what I thought were the ambulance lights, I thought they were

would know where Mum, Dad and you were. I felt an arm embrace me and I was so comforted, I knew I was

going to be safe and reunited with my family, because once the arm had grasped me, we hurried with such

vigour. I was being run with away from the inferno, the high temperature and smoke, the commotion and

stench of the accident was fading from sight as a saviour took me further away to safety. I knew he was not

my dad by his fragrance; as I remember dad always smelt of old spice aftershave! Perhaps he was a police officer or

ambulance man, or even a kind stranger. He had my face smuggled in tightly to his chest I could not see only

hear and smell. At last, the arm carried me into a building and down some stairs I thought it maybe the

hospital. Once seated on a bed in a very sparse room, I could see it was not a hospital and also see the face

that the rescuing arm belonged to a man .He said I had to stay there he was going back to the accident to

help. This was good news he was going to carry you, with mum and dad here to safety. Apart from the bed

the room had a desk, a chair, a toilet and a sink. I did not see the man again for days, I was ravenous I had not

eaten in days and afraid when the night set in as there was no light bulb. I was waiting for him to return with

my family, but when he came to see me, he told me both my parents, and my sister had died in the car

accident and that the police said I have to live with him from now on. I did not know much about the police,

so sadly, had to accept that no one else wanted me and this was to be my life now. He renamed me Kitten

saying if I did not respond to it, he would get angry. He left me a cheese sandwich, locked me in and called on

me again two days later. He got angry if I asked any questions, so I learnt not to. Throughout those years I

endured in that house rape, multiple people raped me on occasions. I have been part of child porn videos,

buggered, beaten, tortured, and burnt. I can certainly not ever be the person I once daydreamed about, a

person who loves and has known love as I only know loathing. I think I may have been about thirteen when I

gave birth to a daughter, this man who I had to call daddy termed her curly after her beautiful curly hair. She

lived with me until she was six then daddy took her and I never saw her again. I was not permitted to ask

questions only answer them, so I was too terrified to ask after her. I hope she went somewhere well to live

but I now doubt that. When Curly was two and I guess I was about 15 or something as I don’t know how

many birthdays, I spent there. I gave birth to a second daughter that Daddy named Pearl, from birth she

suffered from fits and age two she died while having a seizure. I do not know what happened to her body.

When Curly was aged three and Pearl practically one, although I’m uncertain of exact ages or time. I gave

birth to my third and final daughter. Daddy said I was such a clever girl having daughters he named her Moni.

I felt no love regarding these children I think I breast fed and nurtured them for my own sanity, something

to breast-feeding. By the time Curly had been detached I was nineteen I think that this had become the only life

I knew, and I had lost all compulsion to run. Moni and I were sanctioned upstairs for short periods of time,

which became extended as time passed. We were even permitted five minutes outside in a very highly fenced

garden, but only if we did not speak or make a sound, I can reminisce hugging and hugging daddy for

allowing us to see the sky and feel the wind. I tried to snag some wind in my hand to bring inside with me, I

desperately grabbed for it, how I longed to get a handful of summer and take inside with me, I hoped to carry

a handful of outside in, ungrasp my grip on it and transform my miserable room into the freedom of the

garden, which made daddy chuckle at my madness. Wish I was the wind then no one could catch me .I would

be free although I was not sure what free meant. We were allowed more prolonged interludes of time upstairs

and paying consideration to the radio plus observing snippets of the television gave me small perceptions of

the world outside. In my awareness my life was customary how everyone lived, it did not make sense why do

families universally stay fastened in spaces when the media speak of such amazing phenomena outside. I put

my hand up and daddy gave me permission to speak, I asked daddy is beyond our house really full of venom

he replied yes most categorically that it now made wisdom why he kept us in to keep us protected. “So, in

fact, it would have made no difference who ran with me in their arms that day as everyone lives the same life

as I do. Martin could read no more and closed the book while gazing thoughtfully into the air he imagined the

author of this long letter straining to grasp hold of air, while he himself attempted to grasp swiftly at the air,

he caught sight of his watch which brought his mind back into the here and now. Tonight was the poetry

meeting, better get a move on or he will be late. He took the book with him locked the front door and left.

He felt detached from the meeting there in body but not in person. Back at home drawn to the letter within

the book. He lay wholly dressed on his bed with his two cats curled beside him purring. Turning to the

relevant page he once again read Karen’s letter. It looked like it could have been someone else’s letter, Martin

assumed that someone had penned so completely it was impossible to read what he assumed was once a

pass the lonely lost hours and not from any love for them. I was given extra food during pregnancy and

we’re shaking as I attempted to fold pieces of paper that Moni had scrunched up, and for the first time in my

life I felt maternal, thinking If he notices I am going to say it was me as I could not bear the thought of Moni

weeks that followed I read that article over and over every time Daddy left us alone. I was fixated on it, I

My parents and twin sister are not dead.

Throughout Martins next visit to the mental health facility, he did not tell Dori about Karen s letter, or

indeed, during any visit, Dori was crying when he arrived, so he held her close. “What has distressed you

Dori, please do not cry, your home is fine I have check edit and brought you the mail, your parents are both

obviously worried about you, and the poetry group cannot wait to have your back. ”I do not cry for those

things, I only cry for Karen. ”She will be ok Dori; I will find her.” Said Martin. “I want you to go Martin I am

tired.” Said Dori. “You get some sleep and I will come and see you in a few days. “On his journey home,

Martin parked in a pull in beside the road and with such curiosity reached into his briefcase for Karen s letter.

His eye’s looked upon the next reference to Karen’s journey where she had written. It was a cold winters day

there was a thin sprinkling of snow ,I only know this because Daddy had allowed Moni and me five minutes

in the fenced in back garden to see it. He smiled as he observed Moni stroking it as if it were a fluffy pet, she

rested a little in the palm of her hand and using a finger from her other hand massaged it until it dissipated

and through her fingers it fell on the earth. The ground beneath our feet felt solid and safe, as we quietly

whispered the cold made our breath visible as it left us. I suddenly felt scared what was happening to us,

could we die if more and more of our breath floated visibly out of our bodies? My mind celebrated when our

five minutes were up, I did not want to perish like that, once inside and everyone had spoken, my heart

jumped with relief no visible breath we were safe once more. Daddy was going out that evening meaning

Moni and I would be locked downstairs. It was downstairs after Moni had fallen asleep when my mind turned

to escape, I would wait until the sky swallowed the cold away as I did not want to lose living breath on my

way to the unknown. I would search for places shown on the television, places full of laughter and fun, I just

name on the front page. How many Karens were there? Regardless the words Karen’s letter had replaced it;

hope they are not too far from here. Martin once more closed the book and restarted his journey home to

might it have been someone else’s story first. It continued by saying! It was a Wednesday I knew that from

feed his cats before arriving at Sargent Candice Thornbert’s home for that night’s poetry meeting. Everyone

the radio. Daddy had locked Moni and me in the house but not in our room and gone into town, he trusted

enquired after Dori? Martin raised to his feet and with the whole groups attentiveness he said Dori was doing

by now that we would pursue his instructions, we were both stripped naked, uncovered, and exposed, as he

great and should be back with us soon, though her twin Karen had died several years ago, the situation has

must have considered we would make no effort to go outside nude and given housework directives. We only

condemned her to bouts of deep depression, but she will be back on her feet in no time. Going on to say the

enjoyed tiny snippets of freedom and received regular reminders of who was our master. I had never

unit had invited him with Dori’s agreement to attend a consultation tomorrow and will then hopefully know

reasoned about nakedness until I was endorsed access to the highly regulated opportunities of watching

more. Looking around the room he suggested everyone compose a nonsense poem; it would be so uplifting

television. I had spent most of my life nude, I had cleaned, cooked, and transmitted children nude. The

for Dori to see how constructive we are all being. Dori had told. Martin, she felt emotionless, traumatized,

television sent mixed messages; some programmes displayed nudity and sex as ok others as a taboo thing.

and frozen she aspires to put her hands inside her gut and expel the emptiness that is in there. Martin thought

Except now the television talked of size, shape and weight, I had no one to equate me to be the right size,

that when the group welcomed her back the notice board ought to be bursting with silly and joyful poems,

shape, weight? I gazed over at Moni who had emptied one of Daddies desk drawers; in panic I hurriedly

the whole group nodded in agreement. Zac raised to his feet suggesting they use the subs for a welcome

began putting it all back he would remove his belt and beat us for opening a drawer or cupboard. My hands

home meal to which the whole group nodded again. He commented he thought the sister Dori had attended

the poetry group with was her twin named Karen? I think it is complicated answered Gwen looking over at

Martin. That evening Martin returned to Karen’s letter. The next few paragraphs had been scribbled over with

being beaten. Perhaps I will tell him as soon as he comes home as he is bound to notice, I am so terrified I do

a thick black marker, just as the front cover was, striking out names perhaps that could one day be relevant.

not know how it was consigned which piece to put on top? I do not know why but a newspaper cutting

Surely this letter could uncover evidence? On the succeeding page in what martin assumed to be the same

captured my eye, it tells of a car crash years ago how a mother &father mourn for their daughter and the

marker it just read, I cry for Karen” with the next few pages absent, looking like they had been pulled out

melancholy of a twin losing her sister. I could hear Daddies car drawing into the driveway so hurriedly

from the spine of the book. They were both good at writing, could this be a hoax by Dori or Karen, Is one or

positioned it in the draw the best I could. He did not notice that his drawer had been touched and during the

both of them the author of this letter? Martin recommenced reading at the position where he assumed Karen

& Moni must have made their escape and had somehow found refuge within a cult. It went on to read ……

must have read it twenty times or more before I comprehended the editorial signified to my family and me.

although I felt Moni and I were safe here I wanted to find my parents and sister Dori and the joyful places I

have seen on the Television. I think I will look for Dori first as I might be too much of a shock for mum &

dad! Allowed use of the Internet I found her whereabouts quicker than I thought, she was living in Somerset,

I am not sure where that is, as I do not identify where I am. Moni loved being with so many other

children, my mind abundant with freedom and expectations I sneaked out during the night in search of Dori, I knew I

would never return or see Moni again, a few metres away from the building and the people inside whom had

shown such kindness, I stood very still contemplating if to turn back to blow Moni a kiss, but undisputable

looking back was feebleness, I must only go forward, looking only ahead I walked away. I sat in a field with a

handful of sheep, I had always thought of them as soft white fluffy animals, but they were muddy, slow

moving and to me pointless. I am guessing Dori is positive and alive like the cult folks and the happy families

I have seen on the television. Not at all like me! I am not contented, positive or alive! I feel unknown to and

about the world I face.

Dressed in a shirt and tie Martin arrives at the mental health unit to sit in on the meeting that is being held

about Dori s progress. Martin is seated next to Dori, he whispers to her, “I am glad they have sat me next to

you,” and with a kiss on her cheek the meeting starts with introductions. A Psychologist, a psychiatrist, and

two social workers in attendance, the psychologist Doctor Daniel Frizmoven welcomes everyone. In either a

German or Dutch accent Martin cannot decide, He explains that Dori being pregnant with Martins child

means she is unable for the chance of menace to their baby take some of her prescribed medications,

denoting leave will no longer be approved. The consultation continued over an hour, but Martin only received

the knowledge pregnant with his child, at the end Doctor Frizmoven advocated Martin & Dori have some

time together in the facilities restricted fenced garden. Now alone with Dori embraced in the security of his

my heart soared to watch her run around playing. At last, she was free, I knew she would be safe here. With

arms Martin says, “marry me Dori, we can do this together. I love you so much. ”Martin, you have to have

faith in me Karen is my sister! ”It is ok Dori, I believe you, but I have even slept in my car outside your house

I cannot find her, let’s face it Dori she has gone.” Said Martin “Martin, can you stay close to me! I want to tell

you something. Under the trees around my house; the green circle, Karen told me she has killed and buried

bodies, you must secretly dig them up as proof, do not tell anyone, or let anyone see’s you. “Martin did not

dig a tree up, although he pretended to Dori that he had dug up and replanted the first tree and found

nothing, no body. Martin asked Dori, “do you remember one day at the green circle you got upset, and cried

out I cry for Karen” Why say those words? Oh, Dori replied I had heard Karen cry them once and they stuck

in my mind, why? Oh no reason said Martin just curious! Months came and went without any visitors, the

birth of Dori’s baby was traumatic, when by court order he was taken from her at birth, and the courts gave

Martin who had married Gwen full custody. Dori was sat alone in the mental health unit garden looking at

the Ivy that was slowly taking over the fence, which imprisoned her. It was several shades of beautiful as the

sunlight caught it. The Ivy twisted and overpowered the fence that lay beneath it, just like her the fence was

being helplessly engulfed. No one knows what is left of her behind her diagnosis of a lunatic. Intensely

concentrating in anticipation of the ivy growing before her very eyes, Candy “Sargent Candice Thornbert” sits

beside her passing her a cup of coffee. “How are you doing Dori, I was passing by so thought I would pop in

to see you”. “Candy what did Martin name my baby?” Said Dori. “Dori he is beautiful and he is named

Laurie.” “Candy, will you get me a picture of him?” “I am not certain Dori I will ask and see if I am permitted

to. Dori snapped do not give me that lame bullshit excuse you are a copper you can do what you want. Well

replied Candy I wish I could I will see what I can-do! Candy swiftly changing the subject to, the poetry group

is still happening, although I do not go every week anymore. “Dori speaks over her, “Candy, I cannot

remember me, I am gone but I do not know where, it is like my roots have been destroyed, my head is always

fuzzy I cannot get a grasp on me.” Candy patted her hand on Dori’s knee saying I know this has been a very

difficult time I am doing all I can do to locate Karen. Dori, can I have your consent and the keys to your

house I will see if I can find Karen, perhaps dust for fingerprints with no photograph of her and very little

details she remains a missing person. Thank you, Dori I have to go, now but will come back next week if you

would like that? And Dori I was sorry to hear about your parents passing away.”

“Hi Candy, I did not envisage you to visit again so soon,” “Dori, I come with coffee shall we sit in the

garden it is a fine day out there? Spoke. Candy. “Why do you keep visiting me Candy, we barely know each

other? “Well as you know Dori I am a police officer and am very troubled about the whereabouts and welfare

of Karen!”“” So, you believe me? You believe Karen is my sister? ”Yes, Dori, I believe you! Ok, Candy if that

is true why has it been so long before you come here? ”Dori it is a complex case; it is possibly nation-wide

and includes several different police forces! I do not think you are crazy or your story absurd and I hope my

investigations will prove that. Have you ever heard the name Cubert? We think from our three- year

investigation that there is a ring of criminals who are grooming homeless, foreign and runaways to pose as

dead family members amongst other things. Hang on Dori! Do not butt in let me finish, we believe from our

sources Karen may be involved in this !Shh, shh, please let me finish, we were approved a warrant by the

court to exhume Karen s body, and thanks to the science that we did not have available back then, she has

been confirmed as thee abducted child Melanie Velvertine. Denoting you are absolutely correct Dori, Karen is

alive, but we do not think the woman who you know as Karen is Karen. I know this a lot of information for

you to take- in, since being here you have displayed no signs of violence, or harm. And now your safety is

paramount! This gang may think you know more than you do know and this could compromise your safety.

Or perhaps you do know things that could help with us with the investigation. You have no need to be here

would you like the police to arrange you a safe house? Regrettably while investigations continue it would be

much like here, you would not be endorsed out and would have a plain clothed policewoman with you at all

times. We consider this criminal ring to have an aggressive history, so for now your only choices are stay here

or be restricted in a safe house. The criminal ring may suspect the false Karen may have tripped up and told

you something by accident; we are hoping that is true she may have. And throughout the chats ahead of us

you may recall something, reaching in her bag” here is a pad and pen, please make a memo of every slight

element you remember about Karen, any offbeat reference she may have made! ”Is there anything you would

like to examine Dori? Yes, have you ever glared at Ivy reasoning you may see it slither a little further down

the fence, also I thought you were retired?”“ With her hand in her bag probing Candy replies, Firstly, no I

have never stared at ivy; secondly, I will come and see you next week. Thirdly I have to go I am already late

for a consultation, fourthly I think this belongs to you and while walking away she passes Doria photograph

of Laurie.

“Wow you are here again to see me, Candy! Be watchful they do not section you; I think the room next to

me is available!” Said Dori.“ Hey Dori I have come to take you out for a couple of hours, better than laying

there staring at the ceiling, ”Actually, Candy I was thinking if heat rise’s why we carpet floor and not you

to the plain clothed officer who would be remaining with you at all times’ Candy I will come with you,

but I think I will stay living here, I get money without working, no housework to do, my every requirement

supplied, and I do not object to restrictions and plenty of drugs. Anyhow everything has been taken from me,

so I have nowhere to go.” Said Dori. “Come on misery there is a future out there waiting for you, if anyone is

capable of doing this it is you.” Said candy. The safe house, or should I say holiday home was nice enough, as

was Anne the plain clothed officer, but Dori remained sure that She will stay in the unit if that is ok. She feels

she has no strength to build a future and no wish for change. Sat together eating lunch on a nearby beach at

Doniford bay, Dori took the photo of Laurie which She carried everywhere out of her pocket. “Candy, does

he have a middle name,” “Yes Dori, it is Martin I think after his father. Candy holding this photo is like

seeing him through binoculars, I can hold the photo close yet in reality he is far away. “Did you know we had

family holidays here, Karen and I with our little buckets and wellie boots would look in the vast number of

small pools of sea water once the tide was out, then carry a bucket full of small crabs and other creepy crawly

fishy things back to our holiday caravan.” Said Dori. “Candy, do you think Martin would bring Laurie to see

me? ”Dori, I have asked but, Gwen is rather reluctant; to be honest you have little rights in your position at

the moment to argue that, during your lack of capacity, sectioned by the court, it ordered in Martins favour

and Gwen was given legal permission to adopt Laurie, which she has done. ”Oh yeah, I had forgotten that,

well not forgotten my soul has just refused to acknowledge it! Candy, do you visit because a fraction of you

want to or because of your job? “Candy replied, “a bit of both, although I do enjoy your company. Dori sat

sketching while Candy took a phone call while walking a distance away from Dori, so she guessed it was her

work, police stuff. On her return she comments on Dori’s drawing, a spider that is an odd thing to draw while

sat here,” said candy. Dori replied, “You said any little thing I remember about Karen could help you find

her. I am a tattooist and this is the precise picture of the tattoo I inked on Karen s shoulder.” “I have to go

back into the police station Dori; come on I will drop you back to the unit first.” “Candy, I have changed my

ceiling? I have no idea Dori, I supposed we could go for a drive I will show you the safe house and familiarize

mind, I would like to accept the offer of the safe house, well by safe house I mean the static holiday home on

the beach front at Doniford bay.”

Using the back entrance to visit Martin, Candy gathers some pages off the grass alongside a smouldering

fire pit, and putting them in her coat pocket walks in through the open kitchen door to find Martin sat at the

kitchen table. “I cannot find them Candy! I have phoned everyone I think Gwen and Laurie are missing!

“Candy while stood at the sink filling the kettle with water asks, “Did you have a disagreement?” Martin

replies, “no, we’ll kind of!” Reluctant to tell Candy, he takes over making the coffee, in a lenient voice Candy

says,” do not worry Martin I am sure, they will return home in safety. ”Who was having a fire?” Asked Candy.

Oh that! Gwen was having a sort out getting rid of some garbage before Laurie s birthday party. “Said Martin.

Having finished her coffee, Candy left saying “Martin I am going to return to the police station, if there is

anything you think of, please phone me, here is my card” Candy suspected Martin was withholding

something; Candy having been a police officer for many years and was not easily fooled. But required to

leave, as she had to collect Dori and her belongings to move her to the safehouse/holiday caravan. After a

few days of being at the caravan Candy returns to find Dori gone. The police officer Anne explains that she

could not stop her she was so angry She did not know why, she packed and left. “Don’t worry I know where

she is gone, “Candy was correct Dori had returned home to the green circle. Candy’s visit to her was

unwelcome, “get out, go, and fuck off. Friend, you said, you fucking liar, when were you going to tell me?”

Said Dori. Candy knew instantly what Dori was asking! Dori was screaming and shaking with anger! “I have

seen the fucking news Gwen and my son is missing! “Candy unable to get a word in and having a pot plant

flung in her direction decided it best to leave. Dori telephoned Sarah to enquire, as it was Thursday being the

poetry group on and at which house? Sarah acknowledged that it was but due to all the recent circumstances

it would be more of a get together and support each other rather than the usual poetry group. At 6.30 sharp

Dori arrived at Martin s house! Hi, come to support you” Dori said in a very sarcastic manner. Everyone was

hugging Martin with the exclusion of Dori and a police officer support officer that was staying with him. Dori

opened the tapping door to invite Candy who had landed late with oh do come in Martin is that way if you

have come to support him with a fucking hug. Once everyone had arrived Dori using a cat ornament to bang

on the cheap flat pack book unit until she had everyone’s attention. The ceramic cat broke in Dori s hand, but

to be fair it was a cheap bit of a shit ornament and did not embellish the décor in any way. Martin will most

probably claim it was an expensive family air loom, Blood dribbled out from a minor cut on one of Dori’s

fingers. She heralded, “Now you all have completed propelling yourselves at Martin with your heads-up

Martins ass perhaps you could acknowledge I have been in a fucking nut house for two years, my beau who I

started to believe I could have a future with married my friend, my sister is AWOL, and my son is missing,

yes, my son she bellowed directing her hand to her heart. If Gwen hurts my boy, I will fucking kill her, I will

tear her to pieces! I am going home and by the way next week’s supportive assembly is at the green circle,

Pointing at Martin Dori screamed this is your fucking fault, I am warning you the police had better bring my

son home safely, when I will take you to court and get custody. Walking towards the door, which she

slammed ferociously while shouting, I will never pardon you for this Martin. “Then stood outside for a few

minutes stamping on some plants in Martins perfect garden Dori spurted out sympathy embrace, “I will

embrace his fucking neck. “Adrenaline sprinted through Dori s body she quivered as it seared through her

veins. Too affected to drive she sat in her car and watched as one by one the group left of course not before

hugging Martin, Dori could just about hear Sarah saying to Martin do not worry about Dori she is upset and

will come around, you see. Dori urged to get out her car and plaster Sarah over the now damaged flowerbed,

but Candy who was pitter-pattering on her car window interrupted her line of thought, you still here Dori?

Can I come over tomorrow; I will catch you up to date with our enquiries? Dori started the ignition of her car

and saying you had better find my son sped off.

Why should I let you in? Martin responds please Dori just one coffee? I want to see if you, ok? Dori

instantly annoyed, Ok? Ok? You married Gwen who I thought was a friend! After my shit marriage and

Jonathan s death I was starting to believe again! How fucking could you Martin? I dared to think we had a

future, when I was deemed a lunatic, you visited; you let me think we could conquer the situation together!

You really are a bastard I hate you! Do you have any idea where Gwen has gone? And with the door having

been left ajar in walks Candy. Fucking perfect Dori declares I have two cheating scheming assholes, in the nut

house who lied to me pretending they thought I should be free, now free I think I need the nut house, to get

away from you two. If Gwen never returns you could marry each other two Pseftis together, with a quizzed

look Martin shrugs as if whatever! Dori said it is Greek for liar you uneducated moron. I thought you knew

everything. Candy without consent pops the kettle on; just as Dori remarks excellent will a cup of coffee solve

this shit storm? Did you learn that at police school candy? Have you two got nothing else to do today, you

know like fuck off and go locate my missing son? Oh, go on help yourself with a bit of luck it might have the

potency for one of you to choke on it. Two coffee’s later Gwen and Martin finished speaking, saying they had Dori

announced Every day I have this routine I am not sure how it began, but it escalated into a ritual that I

just have to do! Martin who was about to enquire the relevance of this was halted by, shut the fuck up Martin

and let me finish. Karen or whoever she was knew this! I have thought why is it I feel the compulsion to do

this for years, maybe it is because I can bring to mind as a child my dad permitting me wear his watch. I was

so delighted to dance around with my arm above my head, so the watch was on display. Dad always kept the

face of it cleaned every day at breakfast with a piece of kitchen towel. He lovingly wiped over the face of his

watch. every day I wipe over the face of a carriage clock that my mum and dad bought me as a house-

warming gift. Karen knew this she knew I did this every day. How would she know that if she’s not Karen?

When I returned to the green circle one of the first things I did was to get a piece of kitchen roll and dust the

clock, to my astonishment beneath it was a letter from Karen, it says sorry Dori I never meant to hurt you, I

have left you a book on the desk which clarifies everything. I searched the room that Karen slept in ensued by

the whole house, but it is not here. The only people who have been in were you two. One of you two must

have it, Candy if you have it for your investigation, I want it back! Both deny having it, Gwen had become

friendly with Karen so might know something but of course we cannot find the fugitive! I suppose the

intrigue is if Candy did not steal it then she knows Martin did or the other way around. Dori surveyed their

faces for looks of guilt, but such good liars wear a poker face. Did Gwen enter my house while I was

sectioned? Did she Martin? I want both of you to leave now! Get out my house! Dori went outside and sat

leaned on one of the green circle trees that Karen had embedded and with tears spilling down her cheeks

screams aloud I cry for Karen”. Dori slept there all night on the grass beside tree number three and was

woken by a gentle prod and a soft voice saying here Dori a cup of coffee. Candy what the fuck are you doing

back I told you to leave. Dori, we have recovered a body with no I.D only she does have a spider tattoo on

her shoulder. We think she may be who you knew as Karen, her postmortem results identify her as Dawn

Marie Watford who was abducted when she was 11 years old and never found. Her parents have been

now told Dori everything they knew. Dori interrupted saying I doubt that cos you are two lying bastards.

informed, but it would be extremely helpful if you could tell us if she was Karen or not! Candy What

happened to her? Dori it will not be pleasant as we think due to her injuries she may have been killed by the

gang that sent her to you as your missing sister! Candy how did she die? I am so sorry Dori, it appears she was

beaten extensively and her throat was cut, probably as a warning to other girls in their hold. I do not get it

how would the other girls know? Dori because we think they will have videoed or photographed this heinous

act. Dori now sat upright holding her coffee cup with a shaky hand searched for words, but none came,

Candy sat down beside her and putting her arm around her softly said I know you have your doubts about me

Dori but truly I am your friend, I do believe you and I am going to prove it. The mortuary was cold and quiet,

the walls felt heavy and thick like being in some kind of fortress, which I suppose it is as there is no escape

for its inhabitation. My mind wanders to how many bodies have been here? How many are here now? How

many families have entered here to identify loved ones. We walk slowly talk quietly, most respectfully as one

would in a library or maybe the slowness is because the destination is one we fear. A man wearing a white

coat slowly rolled back the covering that concealed her face and there laid Karen! I looked up at candy

insisting she find who done this and asking if it is possible that one of the gangs got in my house and stole the

book? I feel like I should say something to her, but I have no idea what, I just want to get out of here now!

Candy Slow down I cannot accept as true what you are saying! Informing me this is just nonsense! Dori it

is the truth, I know it is a lot for you to take in, drawing out a kitchen chair Candy beckons Dori to sit; I will

make us a coffee and I clarify it again. Gwen and Laurie have been located, they are both well, Gwen has been

arrested and Laurie is with Children’s social care. Why is Laurie not being brought here! I am his mother?

Candy extending her arm across the kitchen table and placing it on Dori’s arm explains it is complicated Dori;

remember the court order that is active giving Martin and Gwen sole custody? Is he with foster parents? Is he

in Somerset? A judge will decide it all during the weeks and months ahead.! I bet he is scared; it is fucking

wrong I am his mother says Dori. I know Dori and I will get all the answers soon, it has- been a very complex

case, it was the day I went to visit Martin saving a few scraps of singed paper into my pocket from the fire is

when the puzzle started to create form. Hundreds of police officers have been working on this case for

almost five years now, and there will be many arrests. The book Karen’s story was not composed by our

deceased Karen but by Gwen, Karen had come to befriend you; she should not have because it cost her

dearly probably by either Martin or Gwen who have been part of a ring of criminals kidnapping amongst

other serious crimes. Anyhow, nosing around when reporting in with Gwen as Karen was requisitioned to-do,

she come across a book titled Karen s story. We think Dawn who you knew as Karen would have been

expected to rob your parents, but her plan somehow went wrong, probably thanks to your mother who

would not accept she was Karen. Instead focused on you and over the years getting you short-term mental

health support. Criminals always make a mistake eventually and Gwen made hers by writing her life story. Her

and Martin had indeed met at university, Gwen by this time already part of this gang, indoctrinated Dawn.

They even deformed her arm to make it easy to convince you, and they were right because it did. From her

kidnap years previous. It took no time at all for Gwen to Groom Martin, which was easy due to his

disposition. It’s all very sad we know from Gwen’s book she once was a victim herself. Karen, well, I say

Karen in order to try to make the explanation less complex to explain. As you knew her as Karen it is easier

to explain who’s who in these is terrible crimes. Karen who had become to like you stole the book from

Gwen and left it in your house for you to know the truth, she obviously thought you deserved to know about

your sister. Before she ran for her life. But unknown to her you had been sectioned and never got to see the

book. Instead, Martin with access to your home recovered it, Gwen took Laurie to a safe house owned by the

gang who had paid killers to be out looking for Karen. Their plan was for the gang to find and shut Karen up,

while Martin remained behind to burn the evidence and get ready to meet up with Gwen & Laurie and move

abroad for a while until events calmed down. Dori sat stupefied with her head in her hands with a truckload

of judgments going without conclusion in her head. Why? Do they do it? Hurt so many people? Will Martin

& Gwen go to prison? Will I get custody of Laurie? Will I be allowed to change his name? does that mean

Gwen is my missing sister? Sat there at her kitchen table reasoning, well let’s try to think Candy resumed.

Dori your DNA has verified that Gwen is your missing twin sister; it seems the fact your sister didn’t die that

day of the car accident is the only bit of all of this that is true. Dori instantaneously stood up knocking the

chair she was sat on to the quarry-stoned floor, no she is not Dori screamed! She cannot be, do another test

you have got it wrong. How could she be a victim and a midwife. Oh, my no it can’t be true, so my missing

midwife sister held Jonathan for his one and only breath. Candy softly replied the test was run twice Dori

there is no doubt Gwen is your missing sister. That evening those left of the poetry group met at Sarah’s

house with the company of two female police support officers there to answer their questions, offer comfort,

and give out counselling leaflets. Dori did not attend; she repositioned the fallen kitchen chair and sat at her

table writing the final poem. She followed this by carrying the same chair outside and after making a noose

she dangles from one of the green circle tree branches, her kicking legs were not a plea for life, she was

merely kicking away the air for the lost, silent and forgotten souls which have once so desperately tried to

grasp in their hand. And for all the Karen’s everywhere. She kicked and kicked until she had removed all air

and oxygen from this world and her, then all went black……………