CHOOSING MYSELF

There comes a moment when you become tired of asking to be loved, understood, respected, and chosen.

For a long time, I thought choosing someone else meant proving how much I loved them. I gave chances. I stayed through difficult moments. I kept hoping that one day things would change.

But slowly, I began to realize that while I was busy trying to hold onto someone, I was losing pieces of myself.

I had forgotten the woman I used to be—the woman with dreams, confidence, laughter, and plans for her future.

I started asking myself a different question.

What if I chose myself?

What if I stopped measuring my worth by someone's attention? What if I stopped wondering whether I was enough for someone who made me feel like I wasn't?

Choosing myself did not mean that I stopped caring. It meant that I finally understood that caring for someone should never require me to abandon myself.

I wanted peace. I wanted independence. I wanted to work again, build something of my own, take care of myself, and become proud of the woman I was becoming.

I knew I still had a lot to heal from. There were wounds I could not erase overnight. There were questions I might never get answers to.

But I no longer wanted my future to depend on someone else's decision to love me.

I wanted to make my own decisions.

I wanted to wake up and know that my life still had meaning, even when someone else wasn't giving me the attention I wanted.

I wanted to learn to enjoy my own company.

Most importantly, I wanted to stop abandoning myself just because I was afraid of being abandoned by someone else.

Maybe choosing myself would be difficult.

Maybe I would have days when I felt lonely.

But I was beginning to understand something important:

Being alone is not the same as being empty.

Sometimes being alone gives you the space to find yourself again.

And I was ready to find Julia again.

This time, I would not lose her for anyone. ❤️