Yours, Always

"You cannot run from your past”

′’And the heavyweight champion is...... Thomas Levy!”

Thomas stared intently at the large, wide-screen plasma television, watching himself raise the boxing championship golden-leather belt high above his head, and the high-spirited crowd erupted in loud screams and hollered in excitement.

That was definitely a cloud-nine moment. He had just won the boxing championship against Denzel ‘Fireball’ Whales, the toughest there was.

And they said he couldn’t do it.

To everyone in the arena, it seemed as though Thomas Levy had gotten everything in the world. He was the reigning heavyweight champion. He was immensely attractive. He was wealthy and widely known. He got houses around the city and various brands of sleek, expensive cars.

He was the man, like his friend and publicist, Stanley Frank, would say all the time.

Thomas let out a chuckle as he watched his manager/trainer on the screen, Isaac Walsh t, trying to wave off the reporters who hounded him for a statement or picture.

Isaac Walsh, the light-skinned tough cookie, had always tried to protect him. Despite the old man’s nagging and constant shady remarks, Thomas loved him deeply, although he would never tell him. Neither was the kind to get sentimental.

Isaac had graduated from being a trainer/mentor to a father figure.

He did everything a father should do: protect, guide, nurture, advise, and love unconditionally.

Absolutely everything. He was more than blessed to have crossed paths with Isaac.

″Thomas, what do you have to say to people who think you don’t deserve this win?″.

That was what one of the reporters had asked. That question still haunted him to this day

Deserve this win?

What did he have to say to the pressman?

Nothing.

His mouth hurt too much to give a reply. Fireball Whales had given him an intense hard jab on the jaw earlier that night.

Besides, if he had responded to the reporter’s question, there would be more hurtful questions following it. Or worse, his answer could have generated some sort of discussion within the masses.

In his life of fame, he had tried to avoid attention.If that was possible.

He didn’t want any form of backlash. He was always so careful about his words and actions.

His plan was to stay low-key and private for the rest of his life.

But it was almost impracticable. Everyone wanted to know about Thomas Levy, where he was living, where he trained, and the woman he was screwing. Everything from his cashew-nut allergy to where he worshipped on Sundays.

Most people wanted to know because they were huge fans of the boxer. Other people wanted to use the information gathered against him.

Some people didn’t like Thomas, and he understood why.

No one liked a rapist. Much less a‘lying rapist’.

That was how they painted him when he was seventeen years old and accused of sexually assaulting Cecelia Ramos, a fellow classmate in school.

Each time he thought about Cecelia Ramos, he couldn’t help but to get upset, riled up.

″What reason did she have to lie against him?″

He had never spoken to the ginger-haired nerd in high school, didn’t even know that she really existed until the allegations were brought up. Once, he heard that she was trying to run for student-body president and aimed to make the cafeteria food bearable.

It wasn’t his concern. He just wasn’t interested in any of her affairs.

Hearing her accusations, he remembered imploring the police officers to do a proper investigation into the sexual assault of Cecelia Ramos. ′’Please, ask her again, I didn’t do nothing. I swear. I’m innocent″. He pleaded in tears, insisting on his innocence.

Of course, they claimed that they had done all they could.

He was the only suspect. Cecelia had mentioned his name.

After she had singlehandedly picked him during the questioning, ″who would believe that he didn’t do it?

Although possessing a fair light skin, Thomas was the only black suspect in the station. He was labeled a troubled kid and had problems with the law before the rape allegations.

He was already seen as a bad kid.

Thomas knew he was a handful. He behaved recklessly once in a while. He got a couple of parking tickets, had a DUI once or twice, and was once found in the possession of drugs. He knew what he was capable of.

But rape?

He didn’t mean to brag but he didn’t need to force a woman to sleep with him.

He was a natural charmer; all the girls in school knew it.

Plus, he respected the word “No”. His mother, Nancy Johnson-Levy had given him a lecture when he clocked thirteen about sexual relationships. Nancy always told him that patience, respect and understanding are keys to a successful life and relationship, sexual or non-sexual.

He could still remember Nancy’s loud affirmative voice when she said ”When a girl says no, you best not pressure her. No means No, Thomas“.

″If you feel horny, go and take a cold shower, or read a book, but do not ever force a woman″. She further said to him.

No means No.She pondered that into his head a million times.

He wondered what he had ever done to Cecelia to be treated so unfairly. Thomas knew he had lost everything the second the police showed up at his home.

″Excuse me?″.

At the sound of my mother’s voice, I looked up from my dinner. I moved away from the dining table and set my eyes on the two men in police uniforms. ″Good day, Mrs. Johnson, is it?″. One of the police officers said and my mother affirmed with a nod″. Mmmhmm, and what are y’all looking for?″. She was ready to go all sassy on them. One thing about Nancy is that she hated cops. Ever since her little brother, Vance was shot thrice by a cop, she grew disdain for the people in uniform.

″Thomas Johnson″. The tall officer answered sharply. At the mention of my name, my heart skipped a beat. I was instantly paralyzed with fear.

What have I done this time around?

I had stopped all my fraudulent drug deals after my father threatened to take away everything I owned and my mother threatened to humiliate me in front of all my friends.

″Was this visit about something else?″. I thought silently.

″And why? What’s the problem?″. My mother asked the officer with a shaky voice. She looked back at me; the anger was evident on her face. Oh boy, I’m in deep trouble.

The officer glanced at me and asked″. Thomas Johnson?″.

I nodded. ″What is the problem, officer?″. My mother asked again. I could tell that she was terrified by how shaky her quaky was. I took a step forward and cowered.

″You’re to come with us to the station″. The man said to me″. There’s a case of a sexual assault″.

″Wait, what?″. I asked almost immediately. I thought it was a joke. I glanced at my mother who had confusion spread all over her face.

The officer further said″. Cecelia Ramos was raped last night in the school’s gym and you’re instructed to come to the station to answer some questions″.

″Cecelia who?″. I was perplexed.

Cecelia Ramos? Who the hell is that?″. I thought.

My mother immediately spoke up after I did″. You must be mistaken. My son is not a rapist. He is not a rapist. You must have gotten the wrong name... there is another Thomas that lives down the street. Not my son...″. She started to babble″. Y’all must have gotten the wrong address_″.

The officer cut in calmly″. We’re sorry, ma’am. We’re just doing our jobs.

Our jobs.

Those words still made him laugh till date. No one had done their jobs regarding his case.

The police, the jury, the judge, the prison wardens...Everyone. They failed to do the right and appropriate thing, to follow the right protocol.

The police had not done a proper investigation. Between the hours of 4 and 5 in the evening, Cecelia was found unconscious in the gym; the same gym Thomas was forced to clean up after every basketball practice in the afternoon. It was a punishment given to him and two other classmates after their extreme water prank in the teacher’s lounge.

A school teacher had found Cecelia unconscious and called for an ambulance. After getting stabilized in the hospital, the officer had arrived to take her statement. Cecelia was unable to speak and was shivering in fear.

She claimed that she was raped towards the exit of the gym. She had scratches on her arm, face and was in severe pain.

When she was asked about the culprit, she babbled in confusion. It seemed as though she didn’t exactly know.

A couple of boys were brought down to the station; she recognized some as her classmates. She had her dark-eyes on Thomas. When the officer asked″. Is suspect three the one?″.

She had replied with a nod and confirmed″. Thomas Johnson. Yes, he’s the one″.

Thomas had tried to convince everyone that he had only spoken to Cecelia once in his life and frankly had nothing to do with her. He never really found her “interesting enough” to talk to.

He was the school football star and she majored in science. They were from two different worlds. A rape kit was performed and a forensic examination was done.

Thomas had doubts that it was a proper one, because nothing of Thomas was found on her.

No blood, traces of hair, semen and saliva.... Absolutely nothing.

It was the year 2006 and rape cases were prevalent more than ever in the state of Chapo. Thousands of women were getting assaulted, mugged outside their homes and on the streets. It was a state of insecurity. The legal system was out for blood. Whoever was accused of rape would be sent to hell, in the words of the Governor Ayana Matthews.

Cecelia was the victim that immediately got people’s sympathy and support.

″If she said he did it, then he did it″. Alejandra, Cecelia’s mother had proclaimed to the whole world.

Thomas was lucky to have had a supportive community behind him. His arrest sparked up a protest organized by the people of the neighborhood. He was denied bail and was forced to stay in custody till the court trial.

Nancy didn’t want to be the one to make everything about race, but was aware that the ill-treatment directed to Thomas had to do with his race. She had worries concerning the trial, niggled over it for weeks. She was afraid that her son would be one of the thousands of men stuck in prison, serving time or worse, awaiting execution.

The protest took place in front of the Governor’s office. Day and night, people advocated for the release for Thomas, speaking up about racial discrimination and police brutality.

No matter how far the protest went, Thomas was still sentenced to 5-10 years in Chapo State high-security prison where villainous men were serving time for awful gut-wrenching crimes.

He could still recall being ushered down the corridor by two guards. The other inmates jeered at him, spat out obscenities at him. It was difficult trying to convince himself that this would be his new life.

He remembered being shoved into a tiny space with a single bunk-bed. His cellmate, Kinney was serving life imprisonment for the death of two women. The first question Kinley had asked him was ′’what are you in for, boy?″.

He struggled to say “A sexual assault″.

Rape. It still seemed like a mystery.

Thomas was a lot of things. An angry child, a spoilt entitled person, a big spender, a womanizer, a drug user, a rash and impulsive young man.

But he was not a rapist.

Hakeem Young, his lawyer had tried to convince the courtroom that this was a case ofhe-said-she-said. There was no proof that his client had done the crime. His efforts were recognized in and out of the courtroom. But it was fruitless.

At age 17, he was labeled a dangerous criminal.

Prison was cruel to rapists, everyone knew. Because of the color of his skin, he was jokingly referred to as ”The high yellow" and had various sexual attempts flung his way.

A certain event left him traumatized. It was his 18th birthday and he was in the showers when two men had shown up and did the absolute worst to him.

For months, He was in and out of the infirmary, was once stuck in a four-month-coma after being stabbed in the stomach. His life was hanging by a thread.

In order to be saved, he spent most of his time in solitary confinement, where he developed a fear of tight spaces and where he had almost lost his mind.

Frankly, it was a miracle he got out alive. His mother’s fervent prayers and his risky prison alliances had managed to pull through.

He got out in the year 2012, six years later. Everything was so strange and unreal. He had spent too much time locked up, so the outside world seemed so unfamiliar. It was difficult adjusting to life outside bars.

And as an ex-convict... It was tough.

He was confused about how he would function as a convicted felon. He had an assigned parole officer, Mr Douglas , whom his mother had nicknamed ”Mr Mr Pain-in-My-Ass-Doug. "He would frequently arrive for impromptu drug tests.

Luckily, most people did not remember him or his ‘crime’. He had even changed his last name to his mother’s, ‘Levy’ for further protection. He hoped no one would remember and it was so for about two months.

That was until the press found out that the son of business mogul, Devonne Johnson was out of prison and they placed his business at the front page of every print publication. Television shows had criticized his every move and word.

His father, Devonne wanted nothing to do with him. He made it clear when he was arrested. He had done nothing to help, not even to provide legal services.

After getting released from prison on parole, he had arrived to his family home with Nancy. He realized that his room had been turned into a store; all his belongings were tossed out to the garage. Devonne considered him ’dead to the family”.

After a heated confrontation with Devonne, Thomas left the house, swore to never step foot into the home again.

In his words ”I would rather die than step foot into his house again“.

He pleaded with his parole officer to let him change his living location and when Douglas Gino had strangely agreed to his pleas. Thomas moved to Hanson, a town nearby and lived there for three years.

That was where he met Isaac and began his boxing career.

Isaac had discovered Thomas in a local training centre and was impressed by his boxing skills. Isaac was informed that Thomas had started off in the prison gym and briefly had an underground fighting career in his teenage years.

Isaac aimed to take him further into the boxing world. Thomas was honoured to be trained by Isaac, who was formerly a whiz in kickboxing during his time.

At the age of 40, Isaac was strongly advised by the doctor to quit because of the possibility of a life-threatening disease occurring. Chronic traumatic encephalopathy had once killed a friend of his.

Despite being obstinate about quitting his career, he had to be careful about his health. After an early retirement, Isaac had vowed to train youngsters the act of boxing. He started off with Thomas and got him to the top.

Thomas was the man.

But he didn’t feel like it.

Yes, he had a lot of people who believed in his innocence, mostly from the colored community. But he still lived with the stigma of being an ex-con. His jail-time brought about a lot of disadvantages.

Thomas, who could get any woman in the past, could not anymore. Women compared him to an animal that preyed on innocent women. He read all about it on social media and news site.

Some women did not want to be with him or around him. Once a restaurant owner had asked that he leave, claiming that his presence was a bother to the other guests.

Heck, he wasn’t even allowed to vote. He was disenfranchised.

The effect of jail time pushed him to start boxing. His maternal grandfather, Gregory, had once referred to boxing as “a rage-sport”. Gregory Levy had previously said ”If you want to get something off your chest, take a kick-boxing class″.

Surprisingly, it did. Boxing helped him tap into his inner rage. Thomas knew one way or another; he would have to seek professional help for the events that took place in prison.

He wasn’t ready to.

′’You cannot run from your past; you need to talk to someone″. His mother had advised that he engage in therapy and he replied to her proposal″.Black people don’t need therapy. Besides, I’m fine. I’m good. There’s nothing to worry about″.

He didn’t see the point. He didn’t like people in his business and he did not like talking about issues. Communication was not his strongest forte.

After four years of residing in Hanson town, he had decided to move back to Chapo town solely because Isaac had opened up a new gym establishment there and Thomas missed his mother, Nancy.

She was the only one who was there for him when he was jailed. Nancy didn’t miss a chance to visit him in prison, even when he told her to not come anymore, she still did. She deserved the entire world.

The move back to Chapo was smooth. He was done with parole, much to his surprise. He had bought a four-bedroom state-of-the-art mansion, which was previously owned by a celebrity chef. Thank God for Stanley being the middleman, If not he wouldn’t have gotten the perfect deal.

He had been back in Chapo for two months. The first month, he couldn’t sleep, had terrifying nightmares about prison and a certain man named “Hamster Lord″. Constantly, he would try to block out events from his memory.

He feared that he might fall back into depression.

Or worse, spiral out of control.

Thomas poured himself a glass of gin as he thought of his new life in Chapo. He owned a wonderful home. He had enough money that could last him his entire life. He had a loving mother who would give him the world.

Yes, he had made new friends. Some ‘friends’ before prison time had left and abandoned him, said that they needed to ‘protect themselves’.

Luckily, he had made new friends, such as Stanley, Jabari, his assistant trainer and a few others. He kept his circle tight and small. He strongly believed the bigger the circle, the more the problems.

He wasn’t down for problems. He had enough already.

He looked up at the screen and all he could see was a man who was still struggling with his past, but was invested in boxing to help him forget.

′’We, the jury find the defendant guilty....″

″5-10 years in Chapo state high-security prison....″.

“The name’s Thomas Johnson, but Imma call you “High-yellow, pretty boy”

“You’re the newbie in here, right? When I say bark, you get on the floor and bark like a damn Rottweiler. I run the damn show in this hellhole”.

Terrifying images flashed into his head. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, desperately trying to block the memories out.As always.

He was told that he should acknowledge some positive aspects from his life in prison. Like how tough and strong prison made him.

But what about the six years lost? His reputation? The loss of Family and friends’ affection?

His mental health?

He lost all of that for strength and toughness?