Maaya

I once read somewhere that in the seven seconds before a person is about to die, their entire life flashes before their eyes.

Is this it?

I can feel how hard it was to breathe while running to my first-grade class because I was late. I can still feel the embarrassment when the teacher asked me why I was late.

I can see myself at twelve, sitting beside my best friend, trying every possible way to hide my laughter while the teacher kept looking at us.

I can feel the nervousness as I stand outside the examination hall at seventeen, going over the same three answers again and again in my head, hoping I won't forget them the moment I walk in.

And at twenty-two, I can feel the excitement of standing outside my first office, my appointment letter in my hand, staring at my name before finally taking a deep breath and walking through those doors.

I'm sitting at my desk on my first day, pretending I know exactly what I'm doing while secretly watching everyone around me.

The office printer is running somewhere behind me. Someone is laughing near the cafeteria. I'm holding my first cup of terrible office coffee.

And then there she comes...

Maya.

She takes the chair opposite mine.

“That's my seat.”

“You weren't sitting here.”

“I am now.”

She takes my coffee.

“Hey.”

She laughs.

“You're too serious, Alan.”

I'm walking out of the office after work. Maya is standing near the entrance.

“Going home already?”

I smile. “Yeah.”

“You always leave early.”

“You always notice.”

She smiles and looks away.

That night, I'm lying in bed, staring into the darkness and replaying our conversation again and again, wondering if she feels the same way I do.

I'm watching Maya from across the office. She catches me looking.

For a second, neither of us moves.

Then she looks away.

I smile.

She's shy.

At least, that's what I think.

I'm twenty-four.

I'm falling in love with her.

Quietly.

I never tell her.

Maya has a difficult past. Her father was an alcoholic and died when she was young. Her mother died years later in an accident that Maya witnessed.

She rarely talks about either of them. She always looks toward the life she wants, never the one she lost.

Everyone admires her for that.

She is ambitious, energetic, and eccentric. She talks about promotions, starting her own company, and travelling the world as if nothing can stop her.

I'm sitting beside her during lunch.

“How's the new job, Alan?” she asks.

“Good. How about you?”

“I'm still deciding.”

I laugh.

She looks at me for a moment longer than usual.

I look away.

Maybe she feels something too.

Then comes the office party.

Music fills the room. People are laughing, drinking, and talking over one another.

Maya appears beside me.

“Come with me.”

“Where?”

“Somewhere quiet.”

I follow her upstairs.

She opens an empty meeting room and closes the door.

For a moment, neither of us speaks.

Then she walks toward me.

“You've been avoiding me,” she says.

“I haven't.”

“You have.”

She smiles.

I laugh nervously.

“Maybe I didn't know what to say.”

“Then don't say anything.”

She reaches for my hand and pulls me toward her.

“Still nervous?”

“A little.”

She smiles.

“Then look at me.”

I do.

She kisses me slowly, almost teasingly, and I feel every bit of tension I've carried around her for months begin to disappear. Her fingers slide through my hair as she pulls me closer, and for a moment, I forget how to breathe.

She pulls away just enough to look at me.

“Alan.”

The way she says my name makes my heart race.

I kiss her again.

This time, there is nothing hesitant about it.

Her arms tighten around me. I hold her as close as I can, afraid that if I let go, the moment will disappear. She laughs softly against my lips, and I smile without even knowing why.

Her forehead rests against mine.

“You have no idea how long I've wanted this,” I whisper.

She looks into my eyes.

“I know.”

She kisses me again.

The room becomes warmer. The sounds from the party downstairs fade until there is nothing left except her breathing, my heartbeat, and the quiet between our kisses.

I stop thinking about tomorrow.

I stop thinking about work.

I stop thinking about everything except her.

Her hand finds mine again, and our fingers intertwine.

For the first time in my life, I feel completely wanted.

The night disappears into kisses, whispered words, trembling laughter, and the warmth of being held by the person I believed I loved.

My life feels full.

Like it has finally earned its destiny.

Later, we lie beside each other in silence.

I turn toward her.

She is already looking at me.

“What?” I whisper.

“Nothing.”

She smiles.

I reach for her hand.

She lets me hold it.

I close my eyes.

I have never felt safer.

Then the knife enters my stomach.

A sudden pain tears through me.

I look down and see the blade in her hand.

My back hits the wall.

“Maya…”

She pulls the knife free.

I collapse.

She doesn't scream.

She doesn't panic.

She simply looks at me.

“You really didn't see it.”

My breathing becomes harder.

“Why?”

“Because now I have a story.”

She looks toward the door, then back at me.

“When they find us, I'll tell them you brought me here.”

My breathing stops.

“I'll tell them you forced yourself on me.”

She pauses.

“And I had no choice.”

My mind races.

The room.

The door.

The love.

She had created exactly what she needed.

The closeness I had treasured was now part of her lie.

Then she says,

“It's just... I like this.”

She looks at me.

“My father... my mother... You thought I was the poor girl who witnessed her mother's accident, right?”

Her expression doesn't change.

“Actually, I wanted to see it. So I made it happen.”

“But why...?”

Even in agony, I suffered more from the thought of losing the love I had believed was real.

Maya comes closer.

“I love this, Alan.”

She smiles.

“Being the centre of everyone's attention. They look at me sometimes like I'm a victim, a fighter, an inspiration.”

She pauses.

“You loved that aspiration in my life, right?”

I stare at her.

“That was just a part of it.”

She leans closer.

“And this...”

Her smile widens.

“This is my ecstasy.”

Footsteps sound outside.

Maya looks toward the door.

“They'll believe me.”

I finally understand.

My vision begins to fade.

A life that never seemed important enough to remember now feels enormous.

Maya walks toward me one last time and leans close.

“You know what?” she whispers.

“Maybe... I'll miss you. Because of this night.”

She smiles.

“You were delicious.”

Then she steps away as the footsteps outside grow louder.

I finally understand.

I was nothing special.

It was just that I was convenient.

Everything goes dark.