Dangerously Off-Limits

I can't believe I'm not going to be staying here anymore.

My dorms are so close to campus, and surprisingly the campus cafeteria really isn't that bad.

Truthfully, I never wanted to live with anyone; my goal was to finish my years here and try to get an internship right away.

I've done nothing but work hard my three years here. I've done all my work, turned it in, avoided everything bad just like I did all throughout high school. Recently, I've been hoping that if I keep going the way I currently am, I can make connections.

Good connections.

Unfortunately, I'm already in debt. My tuition doesn't include anything that has to do with living. Meaning my dorm fees fall on me, as well as my books, my meals...

I came from a privileged family. Most might say I'm stupid for walking away from it all, but I did. I did it to follow my dreams my way.

My parents expected my brother and I to follow their dreams, not our own.

Never our own.

Because according to them, being born into that family meant we weren't individuals. We were born to keep the family name alive, and all the evil businesses associated with it.

We were raised to not care about the ethicalness. We were raised to be winners, and winners don't care about who they crush on their way to the top.

As long as we stay there. My dad would tell me after signing something that only benefitted us and no one else involved.

They were grooming us to be monsters, and while I hated it, my brother was good at it.

Austin enjoyed working alongside our father. They were always really close. They shared something I couldn't share with either of our parents.

I didn't have it in me to sign off on a deal that would push poor people out of their homes in order to build something meaningless. I never saw the value in anything my family did, other than the houses, cars, gifts, and material things it bought.

Blood money.

That's what it was to me, and I never knew why I was so different.

When I decided I couldn't do it anymore, I timed it right.

As soon as I turned eighteen, I announced my want to go to college. I told them exactly what I wanted to do, that I had a passion for helping people who couldn't help themselves. That in this world, there are so many people who take and not enough who give.

I wanted to be an exception to the rule; I want to be a lawyer.

My family connected the dots really quickly. Their sweet Anastasia wanted to be something that quite literally goes against their entire make-up. I'd be the lawyer defending families against the orders they sign. I'd be fighting for them to have a chance against powerful people.

Well, you see, like I said my family didn't care for ethicalness. So, my idea was slammed. My mother and father said they would fund no such thing, and that I'm to follow in my mom's footsteps. If I can't run anything, or understand it, then I can stand by and let the men lead.

Look pretty honey, leave the smarts to the Garrison men. My dad had told me that day.

As if me having a soft spot for other people, as if me having sympathy meant I was some kind of freak. Something worthless to them.

I guess I was.

My mom was so submissive to his remarks. She stood by his side through everything.

I remember when my brother would come check on me, him being older an all, when our parents would fight.

Dad would come home late, drunk, and according to my mom's screams he would smell "like a cheap hooker's perfume".

In retaliation to the accusations, dad would threaten to cut her off, say that she's nothing without him. He holds the name, the money. He holds all the cards that give her the life she always wanted.

So, the fighting would end. Mom would bow out, and over the years the behavior continued. Dad would go out, play with his mistresses, and then come home and play house with his family.

That was my life. I had everything money could buy except a family with morals.

Outside looking in, I had it all. On the inside? I was drowning.

When I packed my things and called the cops, I knew the outcome. I knew me leaving meant they would cut me off completely. I mean, they said they would multiple times.

I had cops stand by for my safety, while they yelled at me as I walked out of the door with nothing but a bag full of clothes, and my letter saying I had been accepted into college.

What I didn't expect, was as I was walking out of the front door, Austin was right behind me.

He thrived with our parents. He wanted to take over the company; he wanted to make our family proud.

I remember my reaction was to shoo him away. I tried telling him to go back inside. I reassured him and told him I was okay moving to another state, that I had some money put aside to cover getting there.

There was nothing I could say to change his mind. He had business experience; he was sure he could find a job and that he could help me.

Austin couldn't stand the idea of a life without connection to me. He's always looked out for me.

I never could've asked for a better sibling.

He's my best friend.

Now, time has passed, and here I stand.

Austin has been helping me like he promised, but realistically on our own we aren't rich. He can't keep feeding me funds that he simply doesn't have, and I can't keep accepting the handouts. I'm trying to play catch-up with my debt that will never stop building so long as I stay here.

It's time I faced the music.

We don't have parents funding us. I made choices, good ones, that I don't regret, but in result we are poor. We can't live like we did before, and as much as I love living in a dorm with my best friend...

I just can't afford it anymore.

So, Emily and I have completely packed up my side of the room.

As I zip the last suitcase and glance around the dorm room I called home for the last three years, I can't help but sigh. My side looks so empty now-bare walls, a stripped bed, and three boxes stacked neatly in the corner.

I'm trying not to get so emotional, but standing here, knowing I won't be finishing out my last year in this room, stings.

I just hate that I feel as if I'm losing some sort of independence after having it for so long.

I know accepting help doesn't make you weak, but it just hits too close to home. I never wanted their help, meaning I sure as hell didn't want anyone else's.

Especially not a friend who's doing a favor for Austin.

Just as the lump in my throat starts to form, the door creaks open.

In walks Emily, and my brother. Both of them coming back from loading the other things I had into his car. They timed their comeback perfectly, I really didn't feel like crying.

Emily takes a dramatic step in, gasps, and throws a hand over her heart.

"Anabear, this is so fucking sad," she says, eyes wide with faux horror.

"What am I even going to do rooming with a stranger? What if I get killed or something?"

Behind her, my brother rolls his eyes and makes a circle motion with his finger next to his head, silently calling her crazy. I laugh before I can stop myself or try and disguise it with a cough.

Emily immediately catches on. She spins around as fast as she can to face him.

"You're being a damn jerk I just know it!"

I laugh with him as her hand flies up and smacks his arm. My head tilts back as I clutch my stomach.

"You'd think you two were siblings with the way you act," I add, making myself laugh even harder at their dynamic.

They've been close for years now. I always see them messing around, teasing each other, but I know if it came down to it, they'd have each other's back.

Seriously, almost like siblings.

Emily gags dramatically, making a face at what I said. Acting as if it's the most disgusting thing she's heard.

I shake my head, still smiling as I pick up one of the few boxes I have left. Quickly, I push it into Austin's arms.

"You're lucky I couldn't afford a bunch of decorations. Five boxes and a suitcase isn't too bad to carry down two flights of stairs," I tell him, acting as if he should be thankful.

Seriously though, our elevators here haven't worked since I moved in. Nobody has made it a big deal to fix them, so, traveling up and down has been the normal.

I took it as my work out for the day.

"You're lucky I love you!" Austin hollers back at me as he grabs a suitcase in his other hand, before heading out with a grunt.

Now it's just Emily and I, standing in our dorm.

I remember when I first met her. She's the complete opposite of me in every single way.

Emily is the life of the party. She's a social butterfly and can fit into any dynamic that comes her way. Almost like a shapeshifter. She can go with any flow.

Her being beautiful also helps. She has long blonde hair, natural highlights, bright green eyes. I mean I've spent the last few years watching guys bend over backwards for her. They'd be crazy not to.

We are a strange pair given our differences. I focus so hard, she hardly does. I'd stay up late working on tests while she would be gone at a party, she begged me to go to.

I think that's why I like her though. Us being so different means I get different perspectives. I'm happy with the way I live my life, but that doesn't mean I don't like to feel connected to the social world.

She's my connection to everything opposite of me and I think that's beautiful.

Emily grabs both of my hands and looks at me with a half-serious, half-joking glint in her eyes.

"If Ace does anything remotely serial killer like, please, please don't be the dumb girl in the movie who ignores all the red flags. I heard things about him on campus from some of the girls, so, if he does anything tell me," she says as seriously as she can.

Regardless of the silly delivery, I appreciate the real concern. I get it. I've heard a lot about Ace too from my brother.

They connected when we moved here. I'm not really sure how, but they did and ever since they had been best friends.

I know if Austin is moving me into his friend's place, he trusts him, and that's enough for me.

"I promise I'll tell you," I swear to her, squeezing her hands. "If he even breathes funny, you'll be the first to know."

She lets go of my hands, satisfied with my answer, and plops down dramatically on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"And if my new roommate is a total weirdo, or shows any signs of a serial killer, I'll tell you too."

"Deal," I agree, laughing as I join her.

We lay here for a while, just soaking in the quiet ten minutes or so of silence. No phones. No talking. Just us enjoying each other's presence.

Then, out of nowhere, she blurts a theory breaking our sacred silence.

"Okay but I've also heard he's outrageously hot so what if you fall in love with him?"

I turn my head slowly, looking at her like she's crazy. I can't help but raise an eyebrow.

"Hello? Where did that come from?" I ask her, confused by the way things process in her head.

She sits up excitedly, and of course I follow so she can tell me how she feels.

"Come on! You've never done anything with anyone and you're twenty! Twenty-one in a few months might I add," Her words fly out quick, as if she has to rush everything before she misses her own point.

I groan, half-laughing as I rub my face.

"Emily-"

"No, listen! You're about to live with a hot, mysterious, rich guy, who you don't know! Also, he's your brother's best friend! Hello! Hear me! This is literally something you'd read in like a fan fiction. You're the main character right now!"

My eyes widen at all the information she's throwing at me. I decide I should clear the air.

"Emily, I have no intentions of getting with him-"

But of course, before I can launch into the full monologue, I was about to give her on why that will never happen, Austin walks in.

"Getting with who?" He asks us, luckily only catching the tail end of our conversation.

Emily and I freeze regardless. We look at each other and spring into action, panicked, like synchronized liars.

"Just talking about my past party experiences!" She blurts, trying to cover something that doesn't need to be covered.

Quickly she grabs a box and hands it to me, then picks up one for herself.

"We forgot to help," she adds to the end of it as her and I make our great escape.

We practically run out of the room, down the stairs, through the hallways, and out the main doors. We can't help but laugh under our breath once we get to the car.

I know I'm going to see her, all the time, but it feels so sad knowing I won't be sharing a space with her anymore.

Yes, you can call my new situation improvement, but the memories I hold with her in that room are priceless. I just wish we had a bit longer being this close.

Austin catches up, fairly quickly I will say. In his hands he holds the last of everything I had in that room.

Now it's setting in that I need to say goodbye, at least for right now.

I sigh, closing my eyes briefly before looking back at Emily as Austin approaches. We both set our boxes down by the back of the car and walk off to the side.

"I'll see you soon, and I'll come over and see how rich he is. Scope it out for robbing," she jokes, laughing a bit as she pulls me into a hug.

I can feel the emotions building up, and as light-hearted as I want to make this. It's hard.

This is the place I found comfort right after leaving my parents.

The dorms are awful for some people, people who want to go home, or for people who miss it. For me? It was my literal safe haven, my escape.

So, as silly as it seems, saying goodbye to it all is emotional.

I'm starting another new chapter in my life, and honestly? I'm already tired of needing to do that.

I crave stability, and I can't wait to be able to have that some day.

Until then...

We pull back from the hug, still holding each other close. Tears brim my eyes as I let out a laugh.

"Who's gonna wake me up late at night because they were partying?"

Emily laughs, my tears lining up with the ones forming in her eyes.

"Maybe Ace is an asshole just like me," she shoots back, a smile never leaving her face.

God I'm going to miss this.

I'm an adult, I got this. New things? I can do it easily, I mean I left everything to come here.

Moving in with a strange older man? Doesn't even make the cut on worst things I've experienced.

Austin walks over to us after closing the trunk. That sound was almost as if our timer went off.

"Time to go stop acting like you're moving hours away, it's a ten-minute drive," he tells us, looking at us like we're the most dramatic people on the face of the planet.

Okay it's true, we are dramatic.

I'd like to think we're just really great friends.

We separate completely now; Emily rolls her eyes at him.

I head over to the passenger side of my brother's car, and wave at her before getting in.

For some reason, as soon as I put on my seatbelt the nerves in my stomach take that as a cue to start building.

Oh shit.