The Love I Could Never have
The Love I Could Never Have;
“I prayed for you every day,
but fate made you my dream,
never my destiny.” ❤️
Alia had always believed that dreams were free.
You could dream of anything, even if you didn’t have enough money to buy a new dress. You could dream of a beautiful house while living in a tiny one. You could dream of becoming a doctor while counting every rupee before spending it.
And Alia had one dream that she guarded more carefully than all the others.
She wanted to become a doctor.
Maybe because of her father.
Or maybe because of the person who had made her believe that wearing a white coat could change a life.
Zain.
Her cousin.
A doctor.
The kind of doctor everyone noticed.
He was intelligent, confident, and always surrounded by people. Girls found excuses to visit the hospital when they knew he was on duty. Some admired his smile, others his voice, and some simply wanted his attention.
Alia knew all of this.
She also knew something else.
Zain had never looked at her the way she looked at him.To him, she was simply Alia.His quiet cousin.The girl who was still studying in college.
The girl from a modest home who usually stood in the corner during family gatherings, listening more than speaking.
For Alia, however, Zain was much more than that.
He was the reason she smiled for no reason.
The reason she had started dreaming about medicine.
The reason she had once stood in front of a mirror wearing her father’s old white shirt and imagined herself as a doctor.
One afternoon, she found Zain sitting in the family garden after returning from the hospital.
He looked exhausted.
His sleeves were rolled up, his hair slightly messy, and there were dark circles beneath his eyes.
Alia quietly placed a glass of water beside him.
“You look tired.”
Zain glanced at her.
“Long day.”
“Did you save another hundred lives today?”
He laughed softly.
“I wish.”
She smiled.
“I’ll become a doctor too.”
Zain looked at her for a moment.
“You?”
Alia’s smile faded.
“What?”
“You still have a long way to go.”
“I know.”
“Medicine isn’t easy.”
“I know that too.”
He took the glass.
“Then work hard.”
Those three words stayed with her.
Work hard.
She did.
We used to get closer to them,
and they would only drift farther away.
When we finally cleared the misunderstandings,
we realized that the ones we thought were our support
had always seen us as nothing more than wanderers. 🥀
Every morning, Alia woke before everyone else. She studied until her eyes hurt and worked around the house whenever she wasn’t studying.
Her father was her biggest supporter.
Whenever relatives told him that educating a daughter was unnecessary, he ignored them.
“My daughter will study,” he always said.
“I want her to stand on her own feet.”
Those words became Alia’s strength.She wanted to make him proud.She wanted to wear the white coat.
And, secretly, she wanted Zain to look at her one day and see more than just his cousin.
But life had never promised her that things would go according to plan.
The first sign that something was wrong with her father came on an ordinary evening.
He forgot where he had placed his keys.Then he forgot what he had eaten.
A few days later, he became confused about things that had happened only hours earlier.
Alia tried not to panic.
Her family took him to doctors.The diagnosis changed everything.Her father needed treatment and constant care.
The little savings they had disappeared quickly.Bills began piling up.The house became quieter.
Her mother stopped talking about new clothes.Her younger siblings stopped asking for things.
And Alia began calculating every expense in her head.
Still, she studied.
She refused to give up.
At night, after helping her father, she opened her books.
Sometimes she read the same page five times without understanding a single word.
She would close the book, press her fingers against her tired eyes, and whisper,
“I can’t give up.”
But circumstances didn’t care how badly she wanted something.
When her college fees became impossible to manage, Alia tried to find another way.
She asked relatives.
She searched for scholarships.
She tried to convince her family that she could work and study together.
But as a girl, every request came with another restriction.
“You can’t go there alone.”
“You can’t work outside.”
“People will talk.”
“Your father’s condition comes first.”
Alia understood their fear.But understanding didn’t make it hurt less.
One night, she sat beside her father’s bed.He was awake.His eyes looked tired, but when he saw her books, he smiled.
“Still studying?”
Alia nodded.
“I’ll become a doctor, Abu.”
Her father’s eyes filled with tears.
“I know.”
He reached for her hand.
“Don’t stop.”
She held his hand tightly.
“I won’t.”
But she did.
Not because she wanted to.Because she had no choice.Her admission deadline passed.
“The dreams we held so close shattered into pieces,
and the ones we called our own became distant strangers.” 🥀
The dream she had carried for years slipped away quietly.
No dramatic ending.
No final goodbye.
Just a missed deadline and an empty place where her future had once been.
That night, Alia cried silently so her father wouldn’t hear.She cried until there were no tears left.Then she opened her notebook.
For the first time, she didn’t write about medicine.She wrote about Zain.
“I began to write poetry for the one I loved,
turning every heartbeat into a line
every memory into a verse,
and every unspoken feeling into a rhyme.
Little did I know,I was writing about
a love that was never meant to be mine.” 🥀❤️🩹
She had never told him.
Not once.
She had hidden her feelings so carefully that sometimes she wondered whether anyone could see them in her eyes.
She began writing poetry.
At first, the poems were short.
Then they became pages.
Every poem carried something she couldn’t say aloud.
One night, she wrote:
“I never asked the stars to give you to me,
I only asked them to let me love you quietly.
You were the dream I knew I couldn’t claim,
yet every time I closed my eyes,
my heart whispered your name.”
Alia read the poem twice.
Then she closed the notebook.
She knew it was foolish.Zain had his own life.He was a doctor.He belonged to a world completely different from hers.
She had stopped dreaming about standing beside him.But she couldn’t stop loving him.
Months passed.
Then one evening, Zain came home with his family.
Alia knew something was different when everyone suddenly became unusually cheerful.
Her mother took her aside.
“Zain’s family has found a girl for him.”
Alia froze.
“Who?”
“A very nice girl. Her family is wealthy.”
The words seemed to echo inside her head.
Wealthy.
Perfect.
Suitable.
Everything Alia wasn’t.
She smiled because she didn’t know what else to do.
“That’s good.”
That night, she went to her room and closed the door.She sat beside the window.Outside, the city was alive with lights.
Inside, she felt completely empty.
She didn’t hate the girl.
She couldn’t.
The girl hadn’t done anything wrong.
Zain hadn’t either.He had never promised Alia anything.He had never told her to wait.He had never asked her to love him.The only person who had built that dream was Alia herself.
“No physician has a cure for this illness;
love is incurable.
So, beware… and tread carefully
when you fall in love.” 🥀
She picked up her notebook.
Her hand trembled as she wrote.
“You were never mine, so
I have no right to call you lost.
But tell my heart that,because it
still cries like I have lost everything.”
She wiped her tears.
Then she smiled sadly.
Maybe this was what love was sometimes.
Wanting someone to be happy even when their happiness had nothing to do with you.
Zain’s wedding came.
Alia attended.
She wore a simple dress and helped everyone around her.She smiled when people smiled.She congratulated him.She even wished him happiness.
Nobody knew what it cost her.
When she finally returned home that night, she removed her jewelry, changed her clothes, and sat at her desk.
For a long time, she stared at the blank screen of her laptop.
Then she created an account on Inkitt.She uploaded her first poem.She expected nothing.
The next morning, she checked it.
A few views.
One comment.
She smiled.
It wasn’t much.
But it was something.So she wrote another.And another.She wrote whenever she had time.
After taking care of her father.After finishing the housework.Late at night when everyone was asleep.
Her poetry became her quiet place.
A place where she could say everything she couldn’t say in real life.
Slowly, people began reading.
Then they started commenting.
Someone wrote that her poem had made them cry.
Another reader said her words had helped them through a difficult night.
Alia stared at that comment for several minutes.
For the first time, she realized something.
Maybe her dream had changed.
Maybe she hadn’t become the doctor she once wanted to be.
But perhaps she could still build something beautiful from what remained.
Her writing improved.
Her readers grew.
Eventually, she started earning from her work.
The first payment wasn’t huge.
But when Alia saw the amount in her account, she cried.
Not because it was a lot.Because it was hers.She had earned it herself.She bought medicine for her father.
She paid part of the household expenses.
And with the money left, she bought herself a new notebook.
On the first page, she wrote:
“For the girl who thought her life ended when her dream did.”
Years later, Alia no longer waited for anyone to save her.She had become a successful writer.
Her poetry had thousands of readers.Her books were being discussed online.
She had created a small writing business from her room.She was still not rich.But she was independent.And more importantly, she was happy.
One evening, she received a message from an unknown reader.
“Your poems taught me that losing someone doesn’t mean losing yourself.”
Alia smiled.
She knew exactly why those words meant so much.Because once, she had almost lost herself too.She looked at an old photograph on her shelf.
It was from Zain’s wedding.She hadn’t looked at it in years.She no longer felt the sharp pain she once had.There was only a quiet tenderness.She had loved him.
Truly.
Deeply.
Maybe more deeply than she should have.
But love hadn’t destroyed her.
It had changed her.
She opened her notebook one last time and wrote:
“I loved you when I had nothing,
and I lost you when I had no choice.
But somewhere between loving you and letting you go,
I found the woman I was meant to become.
You became a chapter I could never rewrite,but my life became a story I could finally write myself.”
Alia put down her pen.
Outside the window, the evening sky was turning gold.
Once, she had believed her life would only be complete if Zain became part of it.
Now she knew better.
Some people come into our lives to stay.
Others come to teach us something.
Zain had taught her what it felt like to love deeply.Life had taught her what it meant to survive.
And her own heart had taught her something even more important.
She didn’t need the person she loved to make her life beautiful.She could do that herself.
Alia closed her notebook and smiled.She hadn’t become the doctor she once dreamed of becoming.She hadn’t married the man she had loved.
But she had built a life from the pieces that were left behind.And perhaps that was a different kind of success.
A quieter one.
A stronger one.
A success nobody could take away from her.
Because sometimes, the greatest love story isn’t about getting the person you wanted.
Sometimes, it’s about losing them...
and still finding your way home to yourself.
I wrote your name in every verse,
hoping someday you’d read between the lines.
But you never saw the love I wrote,
because you were too busy
looking for someone else.
If you love my real life story please gave me reviews and support as much as you do.Thanks for yours love.
