Ada

Adaeze is the name that was given to me as a child, meaning 'daughter of a king'. Beautiful right? Yes. Most people would expect having such a name would be as a blessing but I have never felt like that.

For the longest time, I have only seen that name as a curse, a burden and not  once have there been any reason for me to feel I was just being paranoid or delusional.

I was no daughter of a king, I couldn't even consider my father a man. I was just Ada, at least that's what my mother called me every single time. Ada meant 'first daughter' and I had already grown accustomed to that curse of a name.

Growing up in one of the poorest parts of Okigwe, Imo state, I was already used to living a life of poverty. Worse, at a very young age, I was made to work my butt off to fend for my family despite the fact that both our parents were still alive, hale and hearty.

My mother, the one who had every say in the family would always remind me;

"Ada, you're the first child of this family, the first daughter and it's your duty to bring us out of this poverty, to cater for us your parents and your younger sister, Chioma."

She drilled those words into me from the moment I started to understand the spoken language while my younger sister was made to live the life meant for a princess, one I could only dream of.

Chioma was beautiful, brilliant and the picture perfect daughter my mother had always wanted so she never hesitated to give her whatever she asked for even when money wasn't always there.

She would always find a way, either with my father's or my sweat. Just like her name, Chioma's life was filled wuth so much good luck that sometimes I question if we were really from the same family.

Nothing ever comes hard for her no matter how bad it gets in our family while I had to work my ass off or grovel on the ground to get the basic things a child needed.

My mother would always say that I needed to work to get what I wanted because nothing comes easy but tell me why just a word from Chioma would get her everything she wanted??

I wasn't as beautiful neither did I excel the way my sister did since my mother would rather have me outside, hawking till my back hurts while my mates focused mainly in school but I still tried my best.

Even while tired and sleepy, I never thought twice about burning the midnight candle, hoping that one day, my mother would finally see me too but it was all a wishful thinking.

I once pushed myself so hard that I finally topped my class but it was never enough for her when her pride and joy was right there. Chioma received all the praises while I was sent to the market for my daily hawking.

It didn't take long for my sister to understand the dynamics in our family so being the sheltered and over pampered girl she was, she never failed to rub it in my face, even going as far as setting me up and incurring my mother's wrath.

My father was a very quiet man, never had the balls to call his wife out for her obvious favoritism between her two children but he was never bad to me like my mother.

He treated his two daughters equally but his weakness was what made me start to hate him. If he had just spoken up to his wife at least once, maybe it wouldn't have gotten this bad.

Still, I endured all everything; a heartless mother, a wicked sister and a weak father. I thought that if I'm able to finish wuth secondary school and get admission into the university, I'll finally be able to cut ties with this exhausting family.

Soon, the period I've been waiting for arrived. For the first time in forever, my father went against my mother and paid for my exams along with my sister's.

Even though I was one year older than her, she was in the same grade with me because of how smartness she was and the double promotion she recieved while in primary school.

My mother was raging. She saw no reason for me to go to university since I wasn't as good as my sister and she needed me to keep catering to the family.

My father didn't listen to her nagging and still gave me what I had always wished for. Since then, I started to see him in a different light. He wasn't the same weak man I once hated... he was my father!

To make him proud, I studied harder for the exam. Even with the excess workload my mother added on me, I never faltered. I wanted him to see the fruit of his labour but I never expected that tragedy would strike before that time.

On the day the results were out, I and my sister were listed as the top scorers in Nigeria and were rewarded with scholarships to study in Yale, an Ivy league university!!

For the first time, I saw my mother smile at me, praise me for getting to that spot. I was so proud of myself, my mother finally saw me... what about my father??

I could already picture how excited he would be to have such a blessed news reach his ears.

Those were my thoughts till we got that phonecall from the hospital. My father had been involved in a ghastly car accident while away for work that day and he only had a few moments left to live.

The festive air ceased immediately and we rushed to the hospital. There, our once agile father was laying almost lifeless on the bed, the whole of his body was covered with already bloodied bandages and his eyes were drooping like he was about to sleep.

My mother wailed loudly as she touched him. Even though she wasn't a good person to him, it didn't negate the fact that she did love him as her husband and the father of her children.

I allowed my mother and sister have an alone time with him before he signaled me over. I walked towards him, my eyes brimming with painful tears. I wasn't ready to let him go yet.

"Adaeze.... my pride and joy." He croaked with in a tired voice, making me sob harder. He was usually quiet but his voice had never sounded this low.

"I'm so sorry... for all these years I neglected you. If only I tried harder, maybe your life wouldn't have gotten this hard. I'm not worthy to be called your father."

I placed my hands on his, my chest heaving as I refuted his words.

"No papa... don't say that. You're my father. You tried your best for me. See..." I pulled out a wrinkled sheet from my pocket.

"I passed the exam. I was given a scholarship to Yale! I wouldn't have been able to do that if not for you." I muttered with a sad smile.

His lips curved up, excitement filling his bloody eyes.

"You passed?" I nodded as a way of answering and that only made his smile increase.

"I'm...I'm so proud of you my daughter." He muttered and I leaned softly on his chest, my tears wetting his bandages.

I'm happy to make you proud my father.

"Also..." He coughed a bit.

"I have something for you and you have to promise not to tell anyone, not even your mother about this." His voice came out lower this time and my head snapped up to look at him.

"Is something wrong?" I asked in fear.

"Oh... no... it's just something I've been meaning to give you for a while now. I know that once I'm gone, you won't have anyone to support you anymore and...."

"Don't say that papa... you're not dying!" I cut him off immediately. That one word never failed to make me panic. I knew I wouldn't be able to live with my father by my side.

"Just listen to me. I have something hidden in the house for you. It might be little but it's all I was able to generate within my few years of working. You're not a kid anymore and you'll soon be leaving this country so you'll need all the support you can get."

Is it money??

"What's it? Can I share with my sister?" I asked him.

"You'll find out when you see it and as for your sister, I've already told her where to find hers." He answered.

I nodded, still wondering what he had left for me. His eyes drooped more and he let out a deep sigh.

"I'm tired." He whispered.

"Okay... let me arrange your pill..." He suddenly grabbed my hand that was over his head.

"I know you'll rise up to be someone better in future. I'm just sad I won't be there to see it."

"What do you mean papa??" I asked but it was already too late.

My father had succumbed to his injuries and left us, his family to cater by ourselves. Watching the doctor cover his head with the white clothe and my mother crying over his body, I knew that from this moment, my life is only going to get harder.

And it did.