PROLOGUE
~Morgan~
It's weird to feel so lonely. I had made my peace with being alone when I knew I was a single child.
I shivered as I looked at my mother's coffin. There was so much to say, and yet, I couldn't get any of it out. I just took the fake condolences from people who probably hated her, but I wouldn't know. If only she ever really told me anything. The speeches were all over, and I managed to read out what I had written.
"Oh, Morgan" a lady frowned and hugged me suddenly. "You poor thing, I can't believe she is gone so soon"
I patted her back awkwardly and nodded. I couldn't even muster a tear today. I felt I had drained myself dry the day I found out.
"Yeah, it's so hard to accept that she's gone," I muttered and excused myself.
It was hard and unfair. She was just 40 years old. She was supposed to be here with me for my birthdays, my wedding, and her grandkids. My eyes welled up instantly at the thought.
I understood life is hard at a young age. No dad? Cool. No siblings? Cool. Just mom? Cool, and now, she's gone too. I didn't know it was supposed to be that hard.
My eyes fell on my best friend, Serena.
I nodded, and she instantly knew. I needed to get out of here. She came running towards me and draped a jacket around my shoulders. Canada's weather sucked at all times, but I hadn't even noticed.
"You fine?" She whispered and guided me to the exit.
"I just wanna go home." My tears fell for the first time today. I leaned on her shoulder. What was left of home anyway?
"Yeah, I called Jay to come pick us up." she soothed down my hair. "He'll be here any minute"
"I hate your boyfriend, Sere." I muttered. He really was a bad boyfriend, and she knew that too.
"Good to know your humour's still alive." She rolled her eyes at me, and I laughed.
"Always" I said as Jay's car came into view. I got in and mumbled a "thank you" to him. I was not a total bitch at the end of the day.
Serena got in and sat beside me. She looked at me for a few seconds and then sighed.
"Come here" she said and pulled me into a hug. She rested her chin on the top of my head. "Did you read the letter she left you?"
I stiffened. I hadn't even touched that thing. The lawyer said she had left something I had to read before he could read the will, but I just wasn't ready.
"I tried, but" I paused and shook my head. "I just closed it again. I am not ready to accept that she's really gone. It's really permanent because that letter is proof of that."
"I understand, but maybe there's something about your dad in there?" She said hesitantly. I never really talked about my dad. Not that I had anything to talk about.
"Does it even matter?" I said even though I knew it would matter so much. If I knew he was alive and just chose not to come to her funeral, I would be out for blood.
"You home's here," she said and squeezed my hand. "I know you're scared,mors. I promise that whatever's in there, I'll be here holding your hand through all of it, okay?" She searched my eyes for a moment to see that I understood.
I nodded silently and got out of the car.
My heart thudded in my chest as I walked towards the main door. I knew I was gonna open it tonight. My mother's funeral was my last straw. It's probably not even about my dad, and I am just making things up. Things which I wanna know but that wouldn't make it true.
I stepped inside and closed the door behind me. My eyes immediately fell onto the letter on the dining table. I had contemplated opening it this morning before breakfast.
The letter felt cold in my hands as I picked it up. Here goes the last time I'll ever get her words. My hands shook as i took out the letter and saw her writing sprawled out on the paper.
My little star,
If you're reading this, then I'm gone. I don't know why I am writing this so early on. I don't expect to be gone until at least 70. But my cancer would probably not let me stay. You've been my whole world for as long as I can remember. Everything I have done, including tolerating these long treatments, is for you. Just know, I fought every day to be there for you.
You were and always will be my most special one. There is nobody I would rather spend my life with. I know you always felt I never told you anything about a lot of things. You were right, but I was a mother protecting her baby from the cruel things of this world. I know I am the only family you've got, peach. Which is what makes my heart ache that one day, I wouldn't be here to make sure you're okay.
I was once a teenager-a reckless one. I wasn't doing well mentally. My parents thought being at a calm place would solve my problems. They bought a house at outerbanks. To some extent, my problems were really solved. I had friends again, and I fell in love. With Big John Routledge. It was the best time of my life until I got pregnant. I never told him, and he never knew. I was scared, and my parents found out. I went through hell and back to keep you, but they abandoned me. I decided to keep you because in my heart, there was no doubt. I built this whole life myself for you. I went back to college and then built a business because I had to.
There's nothing inherited I have except the figure eight house. My parents left it to me in their will for some reason. If you want to find your father, it's your choice. I don't know what you'll find, but I just needed to tell you that.
There's so much I wish I could pen down, but at the end, you're my little star and no matter what happens, I know you'll find a way to shine. You'll find happiness even if you don't see a way to be happy right now.
Your mom
By the time I finished the letter, my dress was wet with my tears. They just wouldn't stop. I didn't know what I was crying for. Whether it was that I finally knew my dad's name and where he came from or that I would never hear my mom's voice again.
I kept the letter in my bedside table's drawer and went to change my clothes. I had heard of outerbanks before. The vacation vlogs had been exciting to watch, but I never knew I had a connection to the place. As soon as I laid my head on the pillow, I knew I would try to find my father. Outerbanks, here I come.
