It's Where My Demons Hide

Word count: 14,934

Maya slept beside Violet, holding her small, fragile body next to hers after a night of passion. Some nights, Maya just lay in bed and watched Violet sleep. It was cute to watch her nose twitch at times, like a little bunny rabbit. But tries not to be a creep about it and stared out through the window of Violet’s room. Until sleep took her over.

Violet’s soft breathing and slow heart eased Maya into a dreamlike world. It was peaceful at the start, but something happened as Maya’s life at Ericson began to fade. She groaned a bit as she saw smoke coming from outside the dorm room. And the sky was no longer sunny. The sky’s blue was replaced with dark navy and deep red-orange, like fire. But it wasn’t a sunrise or sunset. It was a burning fire.

Maya flung out of bed as she heard gunfire. Thinking the school was under attack. People were shouting. Children were crying. And horses were crying in the distance. Maya flew down the hallway of her new home as embers and sparks engulfed the old school halls. Heavy smoke lingered in the air, choking Maya’s lungs and making it tight and hard to breathe. “Violet...KKH.” Maya coughs. “Clementine. Aniya..ACK-HAUGHK." She coughs again as she brings her green plaid shirt to her mouth to protect her lungs and breath. “Where are you? ACK----KKH.” There was no answer as Maya pushed blindly through the smoke.

Maya opened the dormitory doors and saw no Ericson anymore. But the ruins of her camp from long ago. When she was just sixteen. Maya stood at the entrance to the dorms, which was now a burning hut. She saw a scarred-faced man as he shot a pleading woman begging for her life. “Please-don’t. I beg of you. Please....have mercy. I’m---” BANG!

The evil man didn’t care. He put his weapon back in his holster. “Burn the bodies.” The scarred man ordered. He took one last drag out of his burning cigarette before discarding it near the dead body of the woman he killed. “He wants no survivors.”

Maya looked at the man, and she wanted to take her knife and ram it into his black heart. She would never forgive this man for killing her parents. She then started to cough as more smoke filled the air. Soon, a voice broke her rage as her mother called to her. “Maya!” She looked through the smoke and saw her mother holding a younger version of herself.

"I want you to take Aniya and hide in this tree. Don’t come out for anything. Not even the sound of death. And I want you to take your sister and run as far as you can.”

“But....MOM!!!”

“No buts, Maya....”

Maya tries to look and follow where her mother went as she is reliving a dreamlike vision of her darkest day. But her path is blocked by the scarred man strangling the body of an innocent soul. Strung the body up like a Christmas tree ornament. Then a piercing scream made Maya’s blood run cold. Another unknown man yanks Maya’s mom by the hair. Maya sees her father come to protect her mom from getting killed. But an arrow is shot through her father’s head.

“HH!” Maya springs forward, gasping for air as she breaks out in a cold sweat. She hasn’t had this nightmare for many months now of reliving the worst day of her life. She leans forward, placing her head in her arms. Trying to steady her racing heart. I’m okay. I’m okay. It was just a dream. Maya glances quickly at her girlfriend. She is undisturbed by Maya’s restless nightmare. Her pearly-white shoulders were highlighted by the faint moonlight of the full moon in late March.

She looks at Violet and gently pulls the blanket closer to her chin to keep Violet warm. Maya’s hand gently strokes through her soft, messy blonde hair. A gentle smile tugs on her lips as she watches Violet sleep with peace. Maya kind of envies her girlfriend. Not being troubled by her past. At least she never got to see her grandmother shoot herself and be ruined forever by a haunted memory that never ends. She at least had cartoons to distract her from the hell she had to live with.

Maya let out a soft sigh as she needed some air to shake the haunted memory from her mind. That nightmare rattled her. She carefully crawled out of bed so as not to disturb Violet. She didn’t want to make her worry over something she can’t help or fix in Maya’s scarred past. It’s a hidden emotion Maya keeps to herself. In the dark, Maya slips on her navy-blue tank top to cover up her native tattoos that Violet loves so much. She looks around to find her green flannel shirt. But it isn’t where she left it. Then it dawned on her of their moment of passion, and her brown eyes looked to the bedside where Violet is sleeping. A light chuckle came from Maya as she saw Violet tuck her green flannel shirt under her chin. She snuggled into it like it was her pillow. Seeing her girlfriend so peaceful and happy, Maya abandoned the idea of wearing her iconic green shirt for the night.

Maya softly made an exit out of the dorm room, wrapping her father’s tribal jacket around her slender yet toned body. She moved over by the window and leaned her head on the cool glass. There must be something in this school to take my mind off my nightmare. Maya looked down and saw her hands trembling. Maya closed her eyes tightly, trying to psychologically tell herself to quit thinking about it. Fucking stop thinking about it. It happened a long time ago. Nothing I can change about the past. So why get yourself worked up?

She hears a young girl screaming in the distance as Maya raises her hands to her ears, trying to block out the haunting screams of the girl she used to love. “No. Please..AHHH. Stop. ARGHHH. Someone help me. NO. NO!!” Maya trembles at the scarred memory as she leans her back against the wall of the dormitory. Stop. Just stop. She takes several deep breaths, focusing on her surroundings and trying to stay grounded in this reality. Silent tears roll down her eyes at the painful memory. “I’m sorry, Jenny. I--I couldn’t help you.” Maya whispers in the silence. She wipes her tears away as she glances at her shaking hands.

Maya sighs, and she tries to hold her shaking hands still. You got this. Remember what Robert taught me. Breathe in.....two, three, four. Breathe out. Two, three, four. Focus on a soft drip from some pipe. Breathe. Slow your heart. Maya does calm breathing exercises to get her breathing and her shaking hands under control again. Once she is on solid ground again and not in a state of fearful panic. She glances back at room 202. Debating going back to sleep, but that nightmare shook her too much she couldn’t. With a defeated sigh, Maya turned from her dorm room and made an exit into the cool night air.

To keep her mind off her PTSD, Maya decided to check out the old library the kids have at this school. Once she was in the interior room, she glanced at the old bookshelves of long-forgotten books. Abandoned by the students of this school. With a shrug, Maya thought to herself. Maybe reading will take my mind off my tragic past for a bit. Reading always makes me tired or puts me in a soothed state of mind. Fuck I wish there was fucking weed around here. She selects a book called Moby-Dick and plops down on the old dusty sofa. Then begins to read in the candlelight.

Strange. This is how people back then, when this book was published, read it for the first time. Hm. Who knows. I guess it comes full circle here in the fucking apocalypse. Let’s see if this lives up to the hype of being classic literature. Maya shrugs, opens the book, and starts reading this classic tale. As Maya slowly reads to take her mind off of her haunted past, she is not the only one struggling with a haunting memory.

Maya reaches chapter 5 when she hears soft music coming from the other room. By someone or something. She stops reading and gently places the book in her lap. Her soft brown eyes glance at the half-boarded-up window as the moon is sinking below the treetops. Who could be awake and playing music at three AM? Maya folds down the page she is reading and holds the book in one hand and the candle in the other as she goes to investigate.

Curiosity got the best of her as she got up from the couch and made her way to where the music was coming from. Maya softly opened the door. To her dismay, the last person she expected to find was Robert’s son, Louis, playing the piano. She eyed the talented boy. Robert was not kidding. Louis was definitely passionate about music. He was good. Really good, to Maya’s amazement. Her brown eyes watched as Louis grazed over the dusty white keys of the old piano. Like some kind of gentle wave flowing over such beautiful sound from the diligent instrument. The sweet sound of music reminded Maya of her uncle playing his heart on the cedar flute. Bringing peace to her restless heart back in the day. Maya edged her way into the music room and slowly pressed her back against the locked door. And just stood there in silence, just listening.

Louis and Maya never really had time to bond, as he was still a bit awkward around her. Avoided talking to her directly because of her connections and her living with his father. Maya sensed that Louis had questions, but he was nervous about asking her. She lingered her gaze on Louis’s fingers as he filled the room with beautiful music, and felt it in her heart. She closed her eyes. In some odd way. Louis’s soft piano music was helping Maya find peace. A peace she desperately needed in moments such as this. Maya then suddenly felt the hot wax melting into her flesh as she let out a yelp, “Ouch! Shit!” She dropped the book on the floor as she landed with a hard THUD.

Louis slammed his hand down at the sudden noise as Maya made him jump. He turned around on his piano bench to stare at the unexpected guest. “What are you doing up?”

“Reading a book, to keep the goblins away, what else?” She sarcastically said. Maya bent down to pick up the book she dropped and held the candle a little farther away from her body. She heaved a heavy sigh as she leisurely leaned her back against the door. Her gaze shifted to the side. “I couldn’t sleep. Bad nightmare.” Her eyes slowly looked up at Louis. “You?”

Louis met Maya’s eyes, then slowly looked at the keys on his piano. He softly mumbled. “Same. Bad nightmare.” There was a moment of awkward pause before Louis looked in Maya’s direction. “I thought I was the only one in here.”

“Nope. I was in the library. Reading a classic book I kept hearing about when I was in school.” Maya said, flipping the book over to reveal the cover: a ship, and a sperm whale jumping out of the sea like a monster. She eyed the cover, her face confused. “I don’t get why it is viewed as a classic tale after all of these years. There is nothing classic about a captain’s obsession over a fucking whale. Not like it is Free Willy here.”

She closed the Moby-Dick book and slowly brought it to her side. Her brown gaze looked carefully over at Louis. “Do you always play music when you have a nightmare?”

Louis looked at Violet’s new girlfriend as he replied. “Yes. It’s what grounds me and something I find comforting.” He eyed the book in Maya’s hand as he clapped back at her snarky comment. “Do you always read a book when you have a nightmare?”

Maya eyed the book in her hands and shrugged as a smile formed on her face when she looked back at him. “More or less. That or carving a new arrowhead or something.” She smiles as she rolls her eyes, “I’m kidding. Sort of. I’m not that stereotypical. Besides, I love to read. I get lost in another world.” She makes lighthearted jokes about her heritage.

Maya senses he still doesn’t trust her. Or that there is some unspoken awkward wall between them. She sighs, sets the book down on the chair beside her, and cautiously approaches Louis. She slowly leans on his piano. “You want to share nightmares and bond over our traumas. Or are you the silent type that likes to keep it hidden?”

Louis looks over at her and sees her leaning on his piano. “No. Not like you can help me. Even after I thought I got rid of it months ago. Just keeps coming back, like a boomerang.” Louis replies. He takes his eyes off Maya and onto the carved heart with C+L in the middle. He closes his eyes, confessing to her what is on his mind. “She is always there to hurt me and threaten to hurt the people I love because I took a life she cared about back on the Delta boat.”

Maya glances at the carving of the heart on his piano. Then her eyes snap back to Louis at something specific he mentioned. ”She? Who is threatening you?”

Louis looked at Maya, a bit alarmed, then turned his head away, avoiding her eyes. “No one. Forget I men--”

"Minerva," Maya uttered the word Louis didn’t want to say.

Louis snapped his eyes in Maya’s direction. “How did you----” A moment clicked, and then he narrowed his eyes suspiciously, “Did Violet tell you?”

“No. She doesn’t have to tell me.” Maya softly answered Louis’s question. She shrugged at his observation. “You are very similar to Violet in that regard in trying to mask what you are really terrified of, or confronting.” She studied Louis’s face. She pointed to him. “It is written on your face when I utter the name. Violet had the same reaction when we---ahem.” Maya hugged herself and scratched her head a bit, almost spilling the beans on her first intimate encounter with Violet. She rephrased her statement. “When I confronted her about what she was really terrified of several months ago. When I---err um. When we got close to one another. Romantically.” She sighed as she looked Louis in the eyes. “It is not a top secret what you hide in those eyes that reflect the pain that Minnie had caused. I see it.”

The empty response told Maya everything she needed to know. She nodded her head slightly as her brown eyes looked down onto the burning candle. She watched the flame flicker on the candle wick. “Have you or Clem put Minerva down?” Maya spoke in a soft voice. Louis’s confused look made Maya rephrase her question. “Like, killed her, so she is not a walker.”

Louis looked down at his hands. “We didn’t have time---to you know. Do the deed. Walkers were closing in----I pushed Tenn out of harm’s way after Minnie---tried to get us all killed- when she was becoming one of those things. My number one priority was to get Clementine, Tenn, and AJ back to Ericson. Safe from those monsters.” He raised his head, and his eyes looked at Maya square on. “Why do you ask?”

“A hunch.” Maya softly spoke. She crossed her arms casually over her chest. “Sounds to me like Minnie’s spirit is still lost and wandering about the earth. Restless. Like she has unfinished business, and her soul can’t find peace.”

Louis scoffs a little as he leans forward towards the piano keys. “Like a ghost.” He then lets out a laugh of disbelief. “Pfff. I don’t believe in ghosts, Maya. What I do believe is the dead coming back to life. And out to eat me like hungry, hungry hippos here. But not ghosts.”

“I am not talking about ghosts that go boo on Halloween. Or fucking Casper here.” Maya said in a sassy tone, a little bit. She gestures with her hands as she speaks. She leans more on Louis’s piano as her voice goes back to a gentler tone, “What I do believe is that souls that are not put to rest at the time of death continue to wander this earth. Because they either have unfinished business or they are lost. Can’t seem to cross over. Spiritually. Something is keeping them here on this earth.” She looks at Louis, who looks down at the keys on the piano. Maya narrows her eyes, trying to figure out his ordeal and his hauntings. “Is it always Minerva in your nightmares when you have them?”

Louis cocks his head. “What do you mean?”

Maya outstretched her hand a little and did a small wave. “Like, does it always start off with her hurting you in some way? Or something else entirely. That it manifests itself to transform into—Minerva.”

Louis sighed as he stared at the carved initials on his piano. “I don’t know. Sometimes it starts off with me killing a woman named Dorian.” He fidgeted with his fingers. He was anxious about verbally expressing his trauma to her. Louis was surprised Maya was so patient with him and understood what he was dealing with internally.

Louis continued to answer her question. “But then Dorian turns into Minerva. And she kills the two people I love most in this world. Clementine and AJ. Because I---” He bows his head into his chest and then mutters out the truth, “Because I killed Dorian. She was the first human I ever killed, and I don’t feel good about it. I killed her by complete accident. The arrow was meant for Minerva. To stop her from trying to kill Clementine. Or wound her a little so she wouldn’t threaten the girl I love. But out of panic, I hit the trigger, and the arrow went right through Dorian’s mouth instead.” He hugs himself. Then his eyes locked gazes with Maya’s. “You think it is related somehow? That I keep having Minnie be the source of my nightmares because of the life I took from one of her friends?”

Maya leans back a little from the piano. “I don’t know. It’s possible.” She sees Louis putting his hand over his lips, pondering what she said. She leans back on Louis’s piano. “I don’t know how I can help you with your moral dilemma with your first human kill. That is something you have to come to terms with on your own. And learn to forgive yourself so that it wasn’t your fault.” She was sweet and caring, understanding Louis’s fragile heart.

He eyed her closely. “You killed someone?”

“Yes. Plenty. That’s what I had to do to keep my little sister alive for so long. I know that is not the answer you want to hear. Sometimes you have to go against your moral principles. Or mourn those you are staying alive for. This is how the world is now, sadly. You can’t trust people in this fallen society. You would do the same to protect Clementine and AJ.” Maya answers his question.

She then whispers softly to him. “I think I know how to help with Minnie not being the root cause of your nightmares. You need a spirit-cleansing ritual to lay Minnie to rest and help her pass over.”

Maya looks at Louis, who has doubts about what Maya is saying. So she explains further, “Spirits have attachments to this world to make them linger here on the earth. And haunt those who hold those attachments that prevent them from moving on where they need to go after their time here on earth is over. Spirits cling to anything- clothes, possessions, bedding- anything that keeps them tethered to this life.” Maya pauses just then as Louis has a look on his face of keeping something of Minerva’s. She caught onto it. “Did you and Violet keep some of Minnie’s personal things that are haunting both of you? If you have, then that is why she is in your nightmares. You need to burn it and her body to make her soul be at peace.”

Louis shakes his head at this hocus pocus nonsense shit. “Hmf. I don’t think Minnie is haunting me.” He cast his eyes to the old fireplace, dismissing Maya’s theory, “It is something else.”

“Suit yourself,” Maya pushed off from his piano. She just made her way to where she had placed her book. Swiftly retrieved it and went to the door. Before Maya pushed the door to go out, Louis stopped her.

“Wait. How does your tribe cleanse a spirit that is still attached to this world?” Louis asks.

Maya turned away from the door to look at Louis again. The dull candlelight made Louis look so exhausted. Like he hadn’t been sleeping well. She lets out a heavy sigh as she tells him what she has seen from what her grandmother had to do once, “Well, first we must find Minnie’s walker body and put her down. Then burn her body and everything her spirit clings to in this life that was personally hers. So her soul can be at rest.”

She sees Louis nodding in silence, understanding what needed to be done. Maya then holds out a finger to him, giving him a word of caution, “You can’t touch the smoke when we burn her body or anything related to Minnie when we do this. If you are truly haunted by her, best not to touch anything in the cleansing ritual, as you will still be haunted.” Maya warned. “I’m serious.”

“You think because Violet’s ex--my friend’s soul is still out there,” Louis replied, as he was still skeptical of this whole plan.

“Well, if you say she is the source of your night terrors. Then yeah. Honestly, I think she is a tortured soul trying to find peace.” Maya said truthfully. She sees Louis is still skeptical about the whole belief, so Maya lets out an annoyed sigh, “Look, believe what you want. I’m not here to persuade you to believe in my tribe spiritually. But that is my tribe’s belief. Giving the deceased body a proper burial so they can find peace. Everything on this earth has life and a spirit.” She sees him shaking his head. “Even the cute animals we hunt to survive. Has a spirit and a soul as well.”

Louis looks down for a moment, then back at Maya. “How does this work?”

“Tell you what, meet me at the gate tomorrow morning, and I will show you. If I am right, it should heal your soul, and you can find the peace you are looking for. ” Maya said as she offered up her service to help her girlfriend’s best friend here.

Morning came way too early. Maya yawns a tired yawn, not getting much sleep after her nightmare. But she hides her weariness well, so people don’t ask questions. Maya leans against the cool stone post that is by the gate as she waits for Louis. Maya casually scrapes snow from the grass that is trying to sprout up. Soon she glances up as Violet comes out of the dorms along with two little scampers at her side. Maya forgot her struggles all of a sudden when she saw her beloved coming closer. The bright early sunlight never made Violet look so captivatingly beautiful to Maya. And a happy glow fell across her face when she met Violet’s eyes.

“Never thought I’d see you up so early after last night’s activities,” Violet spoke softly with a slight teasing tone to her voice.

“Eh. I thought I would get a head start on herb hunting to help Ruby out on medical supplies. Since winter wiped out my stock, I had been going.” Maya shrugged softly as she spoke a half-truth there. She didn’t want to broadcast that she was helping Louis with his nighttime issues, so she kept it confidential. “I will still do the task Clementine assigned me to. But right now, with the change in seasons. It’s best I take advantage of the slightly warmer weather. And I’m going to need Louis’s help.” Maya reassures her girlfriend.

“You don’t have to explain it to me, Maya. I get it.” Violet said. She looks at Maya, a bit confused about why she is acting so squirrely. “You know Louis is going to throw a fit. He hates doing boring tasks.”

Maya dismisses the weird look Violet was giving her as she looks at the two kiddos beside the gate. She sees Alicia is getting more and more friendly with Clementine’s kid. “I think someone has an admirer.” She nudges her head in AJ and Alicia’s direction. They smile at each other as innocent love begins to form between the two kids.

Violet comes and wraps her arms around Maya’s waist. “I promise to teach her how to fish. Or at least show her the ropes. She is still a bit too young to do the other tasks like hunting and setting traps. That is a task for AJ, Willy, and Tenn. Well, maybe not Tenn. He still has an emotional attachment to animals to kill them for food. And I don’t blame him. So do I.” Violet admits.

A soft, innocent smile forms on her lips just then. She nervously tucks a strand of blonde hair behind her ears. “That is why I prefer fishing over hunting. At least with fish, I can detach myself from it being cute.” Maya gives a light chuckle to that remark. “With the young kids, we usually start them off on easy tasks first and then work them up to higher responsibility. Although I think she is going wherever AJ is going. I think you might be right. Alicia has an admiration for AJ.”

"Ah. Young love. Look out, Clem.” Maya teases the possibility of an unrequited love between Alicia and AJ.

She giggles along with Maya on that comment. Then her green eyes looked into Maya’s. Violet then gives a sweet peck on Maya’s lips, showing a bit of affection for her native American girlfriend. She looked into Maya’s questioning eyes at that unexpected move. Violet cutly shrugged her shoulders. “I just want to say thank you, since I never gave you a proper one this morning.”

“For?” Maya asks.

“Oh, you know. Last night. For loving me~” Violet blushed, and her eyes darted to the side, giving Maya nonverbal cues. Her face was indeed glowing with pure love and happiness, and she couldn’t hide it. No matter how many head tilts she made. Maya certainly made an honest woman out of sassy, edgy Violet.

Maya soon picked up the vibes Violet was giving off and knew what she meant. A loving gaze fell over her eyes just then, and she nuzzled her nose into Violet’s neck. Soaking in that sweet scent she loves so much. “Anytime. My sweet, Violet.” She pulled back ever so slightly and leaned up and kissed her girlfriend tenderly. Maya felt Violet’s smile against their joined lips. As well as feeling her lover stroke her chest tenderly. But their moment was cut short when they heard a groan from AJ.

“Gah! Enough with the lovey-dovey sissy shit. We got work to do. Time to fish!!!” AJ groaned at the two lovebirds having a moment. “You’re as bad as Clem and Louis.”

Violet immediately pulls out of her love moment with Maya. “Argh. I am going to kill that kid. Almost as bad as Willy.” She mumbles out her annoyance.

Maya snickers a bit at Violet’s annoyance. “No, you won’t. And Clem will probably kill you. But you better go. We will talk later.” Maya had a teasing grin on her face as she taunted Violet a little bit about her desires. “Or if you want to continue with this love fest afterward this afternoon. I won’t mind. And I know you won’t.” She wiggles her eyebrows playfully at Violet, and that makes Violet giggle.

“Stop. Making me giddy, Maya. You’re not helping~.” Violet giggles as she playfully nudges Maya’s shoulder.

“Isn’t that the goal, though? Me sweet-talking to you, to sweep you off your feet.” Maya spoke softly this time as she peered into Violet’s green eyes. A clearly defined golden ring surrounded her pupils. “You know you love it, Vi. I can see how you are smiling at me, Spring Meadow Beauty."

Violet rolls her eyes at her girlfriend and lets out a cute giggle before leveling her voice to keep that cool, serious tone. “Pff. You are so full of yourself. Not when I have to be a mentor and teach the newest member here how to do chores around the school.”

“Okay.” Maya puts up her hands and surrenders. She gets the hint when to dial back her sweet charm on her girlfriend. When Violet is in alpha mode, Maya respects that.

“Come on, Vi, while we are still young!” AJ shouted.

“Go. Before AJ really gets bossy and gets the idea of flying dirt in our direction.” Maya chuckles.

Violet shook her head and parted ways from Maya as she tended to AJ and Alicia. “Okay, okay. Don’t have a cow now. I’m coming. Jeesh.”

Maya watched Violet walk away as she led the two smaller kids toward the fishing shack. Clementine is expected to be there a bit later. Which works out perfectly for Maya to help heal Clementine’s boyfriend from his haunting. She wants Louis to trust her the way Clementine trusted her several months back when getting drugs to help with Louis’s recovery. After a bitterly cold February, it is nice to feel the warm yet chilly spring air. In the distance, Maya even hears small spring birds chirping. Signs of new life are around the corner, and warmer weather.

Louis stops in his tracks as he watches from afar to see Maya being all lovey-dovey in love with his best friend. He waits patiently for Violet to part ways from this mysterious girl. He feels embarrassed coming to Maya for help with his issues. He doesn’t want anyone to know about his episodes. Does she really think her hocus pocus voodoo magic is going to cure me from my nightmares? I can’t believe I am going to trust Vi’s girl to help me. I must be out of my goddamn mind.

Louis comes up to Maya as she moves off the snowy brick wall in her soft, friendly manner. “Ready?”

“Not really. But since you insist on curing me of my ‘haunting ’,” Louis said doubtfully.

“Louis, you don’t have to be afraid of me, okay. If you want my help, you have got to learn to trust me.” Maya said with a soft voice this time. Trying to get him to trust her.

Louis cast his brown eyes to the Native American girl. “I’m not afraid. Or that you think I am. I just don’t know how your ancient ritual is going to do anything to fix something that is up here in my mind.” Louis pointed to his head, saying that the root cause is in his memories.

“Okay, look. If you don’t find the results you are expecting from this ‘retreat’ in a few days. Then you can give me a bad review and my people’s ancient treatment on curing a haunting. Sounds fair?” Maya lightly jokes with her witty comebacks. Louis didn’t share her amusement. Okay. I thought he was the joking type. Apparently not. Maya sighs as she asks him a more serious question. “Ahem. Do you have anything martial-wise that was Minnie’s?”

Louis nods as he holds up an old sack. Even something Minerva made for Violet. Louis hopes Violet doesn’t mind burning some of Minnie’s old things. Maya nods and nudges with her head, “Okay, let’s go. Lead the way since this is your school. You know the area better, and the last place you saw Minerva alive.”

Maya and Louis travel through the forest together. Occasionally, Louis will glance at Maya as she walks silently beside him. Trying to figure out what Violet saw in her. He scratches the back of his neck, trying to make small talk with his best friend’s new girl, “So. Ahem. Uh. How are you and Vi doing?”

Maya casts a weird look up at him. “That is a strange conversation starter. You really want to know all the details between me and Violet’s love life?”

“Trying to make conversation,” Louis said in a polite voice.

“I was thinking more on the lines of getting-to-know-me kind of questions. Like how old I was when the world went to shit. Or where I grew up. Not who I am dating. Unless you really want to get into those intimate topics.” Maya chuckles with amusing laughter. She sighs as she softly spoke. “I don’t bite, Louis. Especially not to gentle souls like yours.” Maya said. “You don’t have to be so nervous around me,” Maya said, noticing what Louis was trying to do and breaking the ice between them. She noticed him scratching the back of his neck, as Robert used to when he was uncomfortable. Just like his father.

Louis shot his gaze back at Maya. He now understood why Violet fell for this girl. She is extremely charming in her irritating ways. “Fair enough. Okay, how old were you when the walkers turned this world upside down?”

“Thirteen.” Maya had that answer ready to go. She looks up at Louis’s freckled face as she repeats the question back. “You?”

“Ten,” Louis replies with a little shrug of his shoulder. “Where were you born?”

“Jackson Hole, Wyoming. On a Native American Reservation.” Maya responds. She does a cute shoulder shrug as well and corrected her home life before the appoclcypes. “Well, the more ghetto part of the Reserve. You?”

“Wow, western girl, huh.” Louis was a little surprised by that response. He smirks a little bit. “Long ways from home, I take it. All the way out in the old west like seen on posters and shit.” He pauses for a moment, genuinely impressed by this detail. “Do you guys---um---have western corrals out there by any chance? Or the old saloons cowboys go for a cold brew?”

Maya chuckles amusingly at him as she shakes her head. “You’ve been watching too many old western movies. Jackson is nothing like that. Well... parts of the town are —or were. But there was more modern-day living there than what is depicted in those old movies you watch.” Maya cast her look ahead of them. “You might say that, of me being far from my home life out west to settle on the east coast. Definitely a change in scenery from out here.” Maya lets out a small cough. “Ahem. And you? Where are you from?”

Louis returns the awkward cough back as he answers her question, “Oh, uh, ahem---I’m from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Where the famous Liberty Bell is from, as well as Independence Hall. Also the birthplace where the Declaration of Independence was signed. If you are into that sort of thing.” Louis shrugged, bragging about his birthplace and the historic relic. He looks at Maya as she nods. Then Louis scratches his neck, as Robert did in the past. “Have you always been, you know---into girls?”

“Still on that, I see.” Maya chuckles once more. “Fine. To satisfy your curiosity. No, I wasn’t always into girls. At least not when growing up in Jackson. Didn’t start my attraction to the same sex until the fucking apocalypse began.” Maya pauses for a moment. Reflecting on her faint memories with Jennifer. She speaks softly again, revealing to Louis about a girl she used to have feelings for. “I was pinning for another girl back in my old group before----bad shit happened.”

She raises her brown eyes as she looks at Louis and explains her upbringing, “Besides. Being gay where I am from, Lou, was considered outlaw and taboo according to my tribe’s law. So even if I was attracted to females back then when I hit puberty, I cannot ever express it openly. Not unless I want to shame my family and be a disgrace to my tribe.”

“How come?” Louis asks.

“Because the chiefs of my tribe are very conservative. They want to preserve my culture and tribe as best they can, so we are not lost as a community in this modern world.” Maya answers his question. She now understands the importance of her tribe and culture and what the elders saw. “In some ways, I get it. I still try to teach my little sister about the culture we were born into. But at the same time, I don’t understand their logic. Why forbid that kind of love when it makes me feel whole and complete? And finally, being my true self and what my heart truly desires. Besides, the world decided for all of us when walkers started to eat people. And destroyed whatever community my elders tried to protect.”

Louis nods in agreement. “Yeah. I get it. Kind of.” Louis then changes the subject. “What, um---what made you fall in love with Violet then?”

Maya looks down on the ground and ponders that question. She glances back up at him. “What kind of question is that?”

“The kind to tear away from conversation downers. So?” Louis smiles as he eyes Maya daringly.

“Okay. What made you fall in love with Clementine?” Maya counters back, feeling slightly uncomfortable being the center of attention.

“My question first,” Louis said as he pushed a branch away. “Plus, I am curious to know about your love story with my best friend came to be. No one dared try to woo Violet the way you managed to do. So?”

Maya rolls her eyes and sneers at him. “Okay, professor of love, you win.” She sighs as she concedes to Louis’s question. “I guess what got me to fall in love with her is because I saw a reflection of myself in her eyes the day we met. Someone bearing the same invisible scars as I have when I looked at her soul and knew that hurt. Plus...I don’t know----”

Maya scratches her arms and fidgets with her hair as she describes her early-onset feelings for Violet. “Her voice. The way she spoke. Just got to me. A feeling I can’t ignore. Like some kind of whimsical, bluesy tone that gets butterflies in my stomach. Making me feel like I am sixteen all over again.” She blushes as she imagines Violet’s raspy brogue voice. Her hands even flex a bit as she describes how she feels physically around Violet. A happy glow and smile fell on Maya’s face just then, and Louis picked up on that. “And her eyes. God, her beautiful green eyes remind me of a warm spring day whenever I gaze into the--” Maya turns and sees Louis covering his mouth to keep a laugh down. “What?”

Louis looks away, trying not to get bashed by Violet’s girlfriend. “Hehe. Nothing. Never knew Violet could be a sly, smooth cat like that and get a girl going crazy for her. Or someone described Vi in such a Shakespearean way and be all nervous about it. I won’t tell a soul.” Louis then looks at her and teases Maya, “So badass Pocahontas has a romantic soft spot for angsty Violet, huh?”

Maya stopped and gave Louis a look. He did not just call me fucking Pocahontas. She sees Louis isn’t paying attention and runs into a branch, and she giggles to herself, “Haha. Oh, that was smooth. Serves you right, though. For teasing me about my love affections for your best friend.” Maya looked at Louis lying on the ground. “Feel good now that you got that out of your system? Or shall I tease you about your infatuation with Clementine next? Two can play at this game, you know.”

“Not even close. But I will let it be for now. Since I don’t feel like getting just as embarrassed.” Louis said. “Or more so than I already am getting knocked on my ass by a fucking tree.”

They walked the rest of the way with some small talk here and there, but most of the time both of them remained silent. Soon the bridge was in sight. That’s when things started to change for Louis. He suddenly froze in his place as his feet refused to move. A cold shiver ran down Louis’s spine just then as he heard Minnie’s bone-chilling singing voice ring out of nowhere.

“Never mind the darkness.

Never mind the storm.

Never mind the blood-red moon.

The night. Will be over. Soon.”

“Minnie?”

Maya soon stopped in her tracks when she noticed a brief absence from Louis. She turned around and saw him frozen in place. Unmoving. His eyes fixated on something that Maya couldn’t see. “Louis?” She softly asked. Maya noticed he wasn’t responding. His eyes looked glassy, and his pupils were dilated like a scared wild animal. “Louis? What--” She paused as she looked at the scared older teen.

Louis started to tremble and shake as he was reliving the terror he faced several months ago. Fragments of his memory took hold of his surroundings as Maya disappeared. They were replaced by Minnie and her damn walkers. He saw Minnie holding the gun, and everyone Louis loved hid behind the yellow truck on the bridge for safety.

“Minnie, come on, stop.”

“He needs to be with his family!”

“Don’t do this.”

“Don’t worry, Tenn. She can try to stop me. But I’m not going anywhere without you. The Night will be over soon...”

Alarms went off in Maya’s head as she knew this feeling all too well. Shit. He is having a PTSD episode. She heard Louis’s breathing start to quicken now as a rush of panic was flooding Louis’s mind.

Maya reaches out and gently touches Louis’s arm, trying to center him and support him. “Louis. You’re Okay. You’re going to be okay. Hey, look at me. Look at nothing but me, okay. I will help you through this.”

She meets Louis’s fearful gaze as she steps in front of him. Blocking his view of the yellow truck. “Follow my voice. Can you feel your feet on the ground?” She looks as Louis squeezes her arm to communicate. “Okay, that’s good. Now breathe with me. Ready. Slow, steady, deep breaths. Breathe in. Two, three, four. Good. Now exhale...two, three, four.”

She slowly reaches for Louis’s hands and, in slow motion, moves them to the sound of calming breathing exercises to help him center. “Concentrate on your breathing. Slow, easy breaths. Good. Now Release. Two, three, four. Again. Breath in. Hold. Two, three, four. Exhale. Two, three, four.” Maya does this until Louis’s breathing is more even and less elevated.

Louis looks at her and then breathes heavily, “How--did—you know?”

“Let’s just say. You’re not the only one around here who suffers from having post-traumatic stress disorder.” Maya said in a soft voice she normally doesn’t let out all that much. Revealing her dark secret she kept from everyone. “Take your time, Louis. I’m in no hurry here. Try to focus on something that will help keep you grounded and tethered to this reality.” Louis nods. He points to the rock and sits down. Maya stands close by him as she settles beside the tree. Leaning up against it.

“I never knew that night would give me this much trauma. I thought killing Dorian on that damn boat would be what sends me in a fearful state....But I never thought----my friend---Minerva...to be my----” Louis said as he covered his mouth with his hand. “Why? Why is this happening to me?” He looked up at Maya for answers.

“I don’t know. Each case is different. Sometimes what triggers mine and makes me relive my PTSD is fire and smoke. Also hearing certain gunshots. Sometimes thunder does it too, on stormy nights.” She replies to his questions.

Maya slowly kneels, putting herself slightly below Louis’s eye level. She places her soft hands on his. “Let me try something that might help. Close your eyes.” When Louis doesn’t do as she asks, Maya looks back at him. “I swear I won’t hurt you. Just let me try a technique that worked for me in the past. As a trick, if you will, to cope if you feel like you are going under or about to lose control.”

Louis then let go of his stubbornness and did what Maya instructed. “Fine.”

Maya waited until Louis closed his eyes. “Okay, now do those deep breathing exercises I had you do earlier. Easy Breathing, in and out.” She watched as Louis did what she commanded. Maya slowly reached out and gently stroked his hands. “That’s good. Now focus on the sound of wind in the trees. Or the soft flowing of the river down below. Listen to the sounds of nature as they bring you peace. Find your center and solid ground.” She slowly lets go of Louis’s hands as he focuses on something bringing him out of his PTSD moment. “That’s the secret of getting past the anxiety hell, when your PTSD takes hold of you.”

Louis focuses on the wind wrestling in the trees. And the sweet sing-song of a bird in the distance. He blocks out all the other distractions and focuses solely on what Maya is helping him to cope with his triggers. When he hears Maya’s words-“find your center and solid ground”-he sees Clementine’s face as well as AJ’s. His smile widens as he pictures their faces looking back at him in his memory. His breathing steadied, and his hands stopped shaking. “Better?” Louis heard Maya’s soft-spoken voice. He was surprised by how soft and caring she was.

Louis slowly opened his eyes. How does she know how to do that? And how to pull out of this anxiety hell? “Yeah, much.”

“Good,” Maya said in a sweet voice as she slowly rose to her feet.

Louis looked at Maya curiously. She knew exactly what he was struggling with and had been there. “How did you know what to say? Or figure out what I needed?”

Maya closed her eyes for a moment. She looked at Louis, then averted her brown eyes away from him. “I too have my moments. Some good days. But a lot of the time they’re bad. On how to deal with my own ‘episodes’.” She looked at Louis just then. “It just takes practice so it doesn’t consume you. A trick I’ve learned when I found myself struggling. Find what keeps you grounded in reality. For a while it was my sister that kept me centered. Now it is Violet, who centers me.”

Louis stared at Maya and tried to read her expression to see what she wasn’t saying. Then it clicked with him. Last night, when Maya surprised him by coming into the music room. “That nightmare you had last night. It’s about that, isn’t it? Your trauma.” He watched Maya grow a bit rigid. Something he said made her flinch. He looked right into those brown eyes that held a deep, hidden pain. Sorrowful pain. “Something. Bad happened to you. Didn’t it?”

Maya exhaled a deep breath. He was figuring out the hidden facade she’d worn for so long. She crossed her arms as some kind of protection. Choosing to guard herself from a very personal matter. “Yes.” Maya softly whispers out loud. Then she looks at the bridge and senses a great deal of pain that surrounds this area. I see why both Violet and Louis have so much pain in their hearts. Jesus Christ, this place feels so heavy. Heavy energy surrounds this bridge. She rubs her chest as she feels the negative energy affecting her ability to think. So much death. And so much pain. And so much anger and guilt.

Louis looks at her kind of oddly as he sees Maya rubbing her chest. “Are you okay?”

“Fine. I’m good. I just---- I need a moment myself. I feel a heavy presence here.” Maya said, holding her heart. She closed her eyes as she tried to sense where that negative energy was coming from.

Louis looked at Maya and shrugged. He then rubbed the back of his neck as he had doubts about finding Minerva’s body. “Look, I don’t know if we will find Minerva’s body. She can be down in the river for all I know. After she — well — turned. Clem and I haven’t been back here since, since that night.”

“That is not what I am picking up,” Maya said in response.

“Picking up? Wh--what are you some kind of psychic now?” Louis glanced at Maya, who was behaving very strangely. “And I thought Aasim was the wackododdle around here with his intuitive psychological bullshit.”

Maya ignored his corny, sarcastic reply as she zeroed in on the energy she was picking up. She pointed to Louis behind her, and ordered him to stay. “Wait here.”

Maya withdrew her father’s knife from her belt and started to walk in the direction where she felt the negative energy the strongest. She heard Louis starting to follow her, and she whipped around to eye him sharply. “I mean it, Louis. Stay where you are. I sense negative energy close by. If you want to be cleansed of this haunting, you’ve got to let me kill her.”

She turns and follows the trail of this negative energy. Pff. Of course it has to be me to kill my girlfriend’s ex-lover. Because that is not awkward at all. She shakes her head to clear her emotions as she points her father’s knife out in front. Maya comes to a small clearing twenty or so yards from the bridge.

There is a half-moving corpse in a blood-stained green coat, with tuffs of fur around the hood. Nothing was left of Minnie. Except rotting skin and bones. Moving slowly, heading someplace it didn’t know. Maya remembers what Minerva looked like before she became a walker. From a worn-out old photo Violet still kept hidden in her desk. Before she became a rotting decay. Fuck me. Maya slowly lowers her weapon as walker Minerva groans at her, ”G-g-g-glarrh”. Reaching up at her in a blind state as she tries to gnaw at Maya’s hands.

There is a moment of hesitancy from Maya as she stares into those gray, dull, lifeless eyes. “I’m sorry for what was done to you. Really. Minnie. Or what led you to become this state.” She spoke softly to the lost girl. She half scoffed at her girlfriend’s former lover. “Pff. Maybe in another life. We could have met each other and become friends. Before you ended up like this. Hell. Maybe we could’ve been arch-rivals. And try to outdo one another in petty scovals to win over Violet’s affections. Make each other jealous, with all the lame shit people do when they are in love. Wouldn’t that be something.” Maya gave a half smile to that.

Walker Minevera chomped her jaws hungrily at Maya. But Maya kept her distance from her girlfriend’s ex. “Kkk-kkhhh. ”

“You are, and will always be, Violet’s first love. A part of her will always love you. I know that. I am guessing somewhere in your heart, you know this too.” Maya looked into the eyes of her rival. She shrugged, lightly scoffing at the older, zombified teen. “You were a damn fool, Minnie. On letting Violet go like that. Instead of fighting for her. I guess Stand By Your Woman means nothing to you. No fucked up group is ever worth giving up the woman you love." Her brown eyes scanned those empty irises staring back at her. “Yeah. I know all about what you did to her.” Maya subconsciously gritted her teeth at the ultimate betrayal she felt when coming face to face with Minerva.

She stared long and hard into Minerva’s eyes as she let out an angry sigh. Wanting so very much to say words to the one girl who broke Violet’s heart. But she is more noble than that. “You suffered long enough with your sins, Minerva. I am here to give you peace.” Maya sighs as she is on guard to strike at the walker. “So you can stop hurting those who ever loved you. And to be free of your misery.” She sees the jaws move up and down, trying to chomp at Maya.

Walker Minerva tries to grab at Maya’s pant leg. Like asking permission to end this hell she is living. “Be in peace, Minerva. Wherever it may be.” Maya slowly raised her knife. She took one last look into Minerva’s lifeless eyes.

Without another moment wasted. Maya took her knife and rammed it into the side of Minerva’s skull. ”Chhh-ack. G-g-g-glarrh.” An eerie hiss was the last thing she heard from the dead walker.

Slowly Maya removed her father’s blade from Minerva’s lifeless body as she let out a heavy sigh. Sorry it had to go this way. When she finally stood up, she was a little taken aback to see Louis standing beside a tree a few paces back. “I thought I told you to stay put.”

“I never listen to directions all that well. Not really my style.” Louis said in a joking fashion. He heard Maya scoff at that comment.

“Hm. So I gathered.” She said dryly. She cleaned off her father’s blade of Minerva’s blood and brain matter.

“How did you know where she would be?” Louis asks.

“I don’t know. A feeling. A sixth sense, if you will. Or what I call my superstition. A heritage gene I inherited from my grandmother.” Maya replies to Louis’s question. She doesn’t reveal much about her rare gift, blessed to her by the Great Spirit. “Well, since you want to put it to good use. Mind fetching some wood so we can burn all this stuff that is haunting you.”

It took some time, and Maya helped Louis place the sticks around Minerva’s body and the box of her belongings that Louis brought. Maya then put stones around the bed of sticks to keep the fire contained in a small area. When it was time to burn the stuff and Minerva’s lifeless body, she took Louis’s hands and led him to a safe spot far from the smoke. There, she spoke to him in a gentle but stern tone. “Okay, hear me this time when I say you can’t interact with Minerva’s body once I burn her flesh. And everything that is connected to her. Anything that the spirit can cling to, you can’t touch. Not even the smoke. Once the body and everything is burned, then you can come closer. But please, Louis. Stay here. Please.”

Louis nods his head and obeys Maya’s words for once. She turns and heads to where Minerva’s body lies on a bed of sticks. From a distance, he saw Maya starting the fire. He gently sat down on a small patch of grass as he watched the burial of his former friend. Soon, the bed of sticks and Minnie’s body were engulfed by the flames. He looked up at the sky as tiny embers floated up towards the heavens.

Maya soon returned to be at Louis’s side. Watching in a somber silence Minnie’s funeral, of her soul finally being laid to rest. She silently sat down beside him, not saying a word. In a low whisper, he said softly, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Maya responded, her voice just as soft.

“So everything you said to Minnie before you killed her walker self. Did you really mean it? Even after everything she did to Violet and hurt her in a deep way.” Louis asked, casting his gaze at Violet’s new girlfriend. All he saw was Maya nod in silence. “Why?”

“So her soul can go in peace.” Maya sighed, revealing her true desire to Louis. She wanted to harm Minnie. But couldn’t bring herself to be that cruel. “There was a moment I hesitated. I wanted to draw it out. Felt so angry at her. For hurting Violet the way she did and giving up on her so easily instead of fighting for her. I wanted to punish her for hurting the girl I love.” Her brown eyes just stared at the burning body several yards away. “To make her suffer the way she hurt Vi. But I couldn’t bring myself to---” She let out a sigh as she tossed a stick she had been fidgeting with.

Maya was silent for a moment before she continued her thought. “Now that she has become one of those things. It wasn’t worth it. Her being a walker, in my humble opinion, is the worst kind of fate and punishable enough. If hell ever existed. It will be becoming those monsters.” She was honest with Louis as she took her eyes off the burning body and met his gaze. “Violet deserves better. So I ended the cycle of pain and misery. I don’t know her story and why she ended up like this. But she deserves peace even after all the shit she put you and Violet through.”

She shrugged, feeling a bit awkward being open and vulnerable with Robert’s son. “I guess that is what makes me a good person still, deep down. And not a cold-hearted monster.”

Her gaze slowly looked back at the fire, calling out Louis on what he is avoiding. “Just like how I know the real reason you are avoiding me. And dodging the truth of what you want to know about your father, after he sent you to Ericson.” She glanced back at Louis, who had a questioning look on his face. “Yeah. I know your backstory, Lou. On how you ended up at that school. Your father told me.”

“What --- what does my father have to do with my ‘haunting’?” Louis asks, getting defensive.

“Because you are avoiding the truth of what is somewhat affecting you in your healing process, of your trauma. It’s not a hard one to figure out. I’ve noticed that you asked me about my personal relationship with Violet the second time. Which we both know you are not really interested in knowing about your best friend’s love life. So what would you like to know about your father?”

Louis huffs out an annoyed groan as he shakes his head out of irritation. “Oh, you’re good.” He glances away from Maya’s stare. He rubs the side of his head to shake away the uncomfortable tension between them. “I see why you got under Violet’s skin when she first met you. And why she called you an arrogant smugass prick.” Louis shifts uncomfortably in his spot. He doesn’t want to touch on this topic because he is still wrestling with his anger at his father.

Maya snickers at that as she is unfazed by those words. “That doesn’t faze me anymore. Kind of a running joke between her and me now, instead of an insult. Me being a smugass prick.” Maya looks at Louis as she leisurely leans back. “So what would you like to know? I’m an open book.”

Louis looks at her and then at Minnie’s burning body. He ponders for a while on what to ask Maya. He finally lets out a long sigh before asking the burning questions he wanted answers to. “Did he ever talk about me? Or had any regrets about abandoning me in my time of need?”

Maya slowly sat back up, giving him her honesty from the brief time she met Robert. “He did. A lot actually. He even told me about the time you and he would look up at the stars. Make up crazy adventures about aliens and blasting comets somewhere in outer space.”

She caught Louis’s facial expression as she innocently shrugged. “I promised him I wouldn’t say anything to others in my camp. About who you were to him. It must have been a tender moment for you and him to share.” She looked over at him and noticed a small smile on Louis’s face. He was touched by what Maya told him about his father.

“He---He actually told you that story. And still remembered that memory?” Louis said out of shock. “We hadn’t shared that quality time as father and son since I was seven. That was the last time I truly felt I had a dad.” Louis admitted. He cocked his head to the side as he looked at Maya. “He really shared that story with you?”

“Yes. When I got caught with Violet. And going against my leader’s protocols. I regret nothing. Because I was falling in love with her. Your father looked out for me during that time. And shared that fond memory with me. When I was on guard watch as punishment for breaking the rules.” Maya softly spoke.

“In some odd way, he sort of felt like my surrogate father. He was the only one I confided in about how I truly felt about Violet. And looking for advice on how to say those three words and really mean it. I knew Robert was the only adult in my past group who had a happy marriage and a past life to help me understand what I was going through. He also tried to keep the peace between Alberto, Bonnie, and Arvo.” She and Louis shared an understanding look. As they sat in silence for a moment. Absorbing the thoughts.

Louis looked at the Native American girl and felt a strange new bond with her. Almost like a familiar love. “I--I thought he was the same prick who gave me the hush-dad lesson, ‘you get to be happy, or you get to be rich, can’t be both’. Hated him for that. And that is what fucked me up. I was a vindictive fuckhead who broke up my parents’ happy marriage because I was selfish and had been disciplined for the first time in my spoiled, rich life.”

“People change, Louis. Sometimes for the better. Sometimes for the worse. Your dad changed for the better. And so have you. I know I have.” Maya spoke with compassion. She glanced down at the ground and opened up some of her deep flaws. “I’m not the same hellraiser, angry girl I once was back out in Jackson. Hating people in my committee. Treating my family like we were nothing. And fighting the roles my tribe automatically assigns to me that I didn’t agree with. Pushing the people who I love most in this world away. Because I was so angry and confused back then.”

“Your father made a mistake, and it came at a high cost. Losing you and his wife devastated him. For years, if I had to guess. And I can tell. You harbor the same guilt Robert had when I knew him briefly. I see it in your eyes, Louis. You both carry the look of regret for your past actions and never forgave yourself.” Maya said, watching Louis’s body language.

“Funny. I thought we were going to cure my nightmares with Minnie and not end up talking about issues I had with my father.” Louis snorted.

Maya giggled slightly at that comment. “Think of this as one big therapeutic retreat for healing your heart. And healing your inner self, what you did long ago. Forgiving yourself. It’s the first step, Louis, to heal your trauma.” She said in a soft voice.

Louis looked out at the burning body of his dear old friend. “So. Ahem. What’s your story of having PTSD, hm?” He asked, and Maya looked a bit surprised. He scoffed a little, being friendly. “Hey, if I have to share and be transparent, what is holding me back? Trust is a two-way street. Why don’t you do the same?”

“Okay. That’s fair.” Maya shrugs as she concedes to Louis’s request.

She then got all serious. She lets out a heavy sigh before she speaks the truth of her dark memory for the first time. “What keeps me up sometimes at night is I have a recurring dream of reliving my own PTSD trauma.” Maya does a dry, sarcastic joke as she scoffs. “Hmm. A psychologist would suggest it’s a suppressed memory that is trying to resurface.” Maya glances out over the fire. Then, in a soft voice, she reveals to him the truth. “My dreams I keep having are relieving the group of men responsible for killing my parents, and a girl I once was falling for.”

She pauses as she looks over at the fire. She continues to share her story. She nervously runs her hand through her black hair as a coping mechanism. “A rough group known as The Syche Lords attacked my camp a few miles from a well-established commune called Wellington. Where my family and others tried to get in. But they were all full. So we formed our own small group. A weak tent camp, if you will, a few miles west of Wellington. With a small fence perimeter to keep the walkers out, really. Waiting to get inside the compound. That’s where I met my first crush. Jennifer.”

Maya smiles at the first girl she ever found attractive. She caught Louis staring at her. “You wanted to know if I ever liked girls in the past. Well, here’s your answer. Jenny was my first. Yeah. Violet may be the first girl I ever truly loved. But I did have a strong connection with another girl before Violet came into my life. Jenny had the sweetest smile that was a ray of sunshine, you know. Her brunette hair shone so pretty in the sunlight. And her blue eyes. They felt like cool waters I could let myself drown in if I wasn’t careful. She captured my heart and made life in camp just a little sweeter. Almost like heaven. I thought I had time to confess to her that I---ahem. That I was liking her more than just an innocent crush. And wanted something more than friendship. Or try to work up the courage to say how I felt. But one late October night changed everything.”

Maya hugs herself as she remembers the vivid details of what happened, ingrained in her memory. “Like you with your episodes and bad memories that took place on this bridge. I--I too. Sometimes fragments of my own memory come back when I don’t want them to. Especially after last night, in my nightmare. I watched---” She squints her eyes shut tightly. Her hands started to tremble. It was hard for Maya to verbalize her trauma to someone else.

Louis noticed how quickly her body language changed, but he stayed silent and let Maya open up. He knew how difficult it was to verbalize that deep pain. “When I watch them shoot my dad in the head with an arrow. And---and the savage men had their way with both Jenny and my mom. Before setting them on fire along with the other innocent people of my past group.”

Maya shook as she confessed to Louis what had troubled her since she was sixteen. “I can still hear Jenny’s screams. In my head.” She pointed to her mind to illustrate. “As they did unspeakable things to a fifteen-year-old girl. I felt so helpless. There wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop the torture Jenny had to endure. If I did, I would not be alive today, and gotten the same fucking treatment. Besides, I’ve made a promise to my mother. To protect Aniya.” She runs her hand through her short black hair. To openly express her trauma and talk about it to another soul who understands her pain.

“I remember that evil man saying to another, ‘Burn the bodies. He wants no survivors.’ I never got a good look at his face. From the hiding place, my mom kept both my sister and me hidden from those monsters. But I know that cold, evil son of a bitch’s voice from anywhere if I heard him again.” Maya clenches her fists into a tight ball. On avenging her parents and Jenny’s killer. lets out a heavy sigh and continues, “My sister and I are the only two survivors from my previous group, before I joined your father’s. Everyone else perished that night. Along with the commune of Wellington. The Sycthe Lords took control, and that was the end. I took what I could of my father’s things and left that place, never looking back. I never knew how cruel and evil people really can be that day. When sick fucks murdered my parents for no fucking reason. And---hurt the girl I once knew.”

Louis looks over at Maya with newfound appreciation. “Did your sister see anything?”

“No,” Maya said quickly in response to that question. She looks Louis in the eyes. “I shielded her from the horrors of our camp that night. And told her to cover her ears and chant a lullaby my mother used to sing to us when we were afraid. To drown out the horrible screams from that night. So she wouldn’t have to live with that burden or bear the cross I had to endure. I didn’t want that for her. Or to see them like---like that.” Maya averted her gaze from Louis’s eyes as she tried not to see the sympathy he was giving her. “I tried to preserve what I could of her innocence in this cruel world. And seeing our parents die like hunted animals. Was the last thing I wanted for her when she was thirteen.”

She looks down at the ground as she mumbles, “No child should ever watch their parents die like that. I pray to the Great Spirit, no one ever has to see what I saw.” Finally, Maya slowly returns her eyes to look back at Louis. And silence fell upon them.

Many silent moments passed between them until the fire that was cremating Minerva’s body was dying. Nothing remained in the fiery circle but smoke and ash. Maya can see that whatever is left of Minerva’s body is now fully cremated. She lets out a heavy sigh. “I’ve got to go tend to the body. You keep where you are. After the body is burned, I have got to bury the ashes. Say a blessed prayer to make sure Minnie’s spirit is at rest. You still can’t touch anything in that area, okay.” Louis nods silently and stays put. He watches Maya tend the fire burning Minerva’s body and the things that once belonged to her. Even the song she wrote, ′Don’t be Afraid’.

Maya pulls out a sage from her medicine bag. Lights it on fire. FWOOSH. She softly sang the medicine man’s chant in her native tongue. It’s been a while since Maya sang anything out loud. Her voice was soft and bluesy.

Louis watched the smoke rise and heard the sweet sound of Maya’s song. It puzzled him a bit. Why was she going to all this trouble? For a person she never knew. And hurt Violet in a deep way. It confused him about Maya’s actions towards Minerva. I guess she truly is a good person deep down. A passionate heart that still sees good in people. Even when they don’t deserve such compassion. I wish I had that feeling in my heart. I don’t fucking know anymore, and that scares me. A smile formed on his face as he observed Maya from a distance. He watched the fire die down, and Maya scooped up the ashes and buried them.

Maya moves the smoke from the sage as she speaks in Lakota to the restless spirit. “-Etaŋhaŋ iš tȟuŋkášila maȟpíya Waŋblí Saŋ Wí nitȟáwa olówan of iš tȟaté na maȟpíya uŋkíyepi iš maȟté na čhaŋtéšiča out of mitȟáwa kholá čhaŋté. As iyépi núŋǧe hená olówan let iyépi naŋkúŋ iš naǧí tuwé are kičhí hená olówan are -ta wówahwa. -Etaŋhaŋ iš uŋčí makȟá miš have asked iyúha iš uŋmá tȟuŋkášila na uŋčí miš mitȟáwa kholá miš iyépi iyéhaŋ of iš troubles hé uŋkíyepi yuŋkȟáŋ iš akáŋl tȟáwapi čhaŋté. Lé čhaŋkú iš šaglóǧaŋ iyépi iyéčhiŋkiŋyaŋke miš be less. Na iyépi miš walk naȟ’úŋ ... éyaš paŋpáŋna akáŋl niyé.

Waŋblí Saŋ Wí iš -ta naǧí -ta iyákaȟpa niyé na Waŋblí Saŋ Wí niyé be -ta wówahwa."[To the Grandfather sky, may your songs of the winds and clouds sweep the pain and sadness out of my friends’ hearts. As they hear those songs, let them know the spirits who are with those songs are at peace. To the Grandmother Earth, I have asked all the other Grandfathers and Grandmothers to help my friends rid themselves of the troubles that weigh so heavily on their hearts. This way, the weight they carry will be less. And they will walk more softly on you. May the Great Spirit watch over you, and may you be at peace.]

She bows her head out of respect. Then pours water over the embers to smother out any heat that remains behind. Maya returns to Louis with a sad smile. “I think she is at peace now. I no longer feel a heavyweight in this area.”

“What did you say in your chant?” Louis asked, looking at her.

“Something to guide the spirit to where they need to go,” Maya replied. She did a cute head tilt and shoulder shrug. “An old Lakota prayer my grandmother used to sing to the elders of my tribe who passed on to The Great Spirit.” She eyed Louis. “I haven’t said that prayer since. Ahem. My grandfather died. Feels a bit weird to embrace my true calling in life. To walk the holy path my grandmother once walked. To become the medicine woman I was born to be. I guess you can never truly escape your true destiny.”

Louis and Maya now sat in silence on this holy ground. She looked at the sky and felt the dark gray clouds move away. “We should get going before we run out of daylight.”

Louis nodded in agreement. “Yeah...I, um, ahem---I should be getting back so I can help reset the traps.”

“Willy is doing that. I... well, I told Clementine and Violet you would be helping me with finding herbs this afternoon. To make it so my tale of a white lie is legit, besides doing a spiritual cleansing.” Maya replies, looking at Louis innocently.

“You what?!” Louis said, with a hint of anger in his tone.

“Well, would you like it if I told her about your night terrors? And the reason why we are out here today?” Maya asks.

“No. But I didn’t sign up to do herb hunting either.” Louis groans.

“You do seem to be ashamed of your PTSD. I get it. Really. It’s not something I like to broadcast to others either. You’re the only one who knows about my trauma that fucked me up.” Maya admits. “I am a woman of my word, Louis. I’ll keep everything that was said here today strictly confidential between you and me,” she told him. “Just thought you could use a supporting friend. Someone who knows the struggle as you and battles the same thing. We can be each other’s sponsors if you want.”

Louis lets out a frustrated sigh. “Ugh. I hate doing boring tasks. But no, I’m glad you covered for me.” He looks away from her. “It would be nice to have a friend to talk to. And understand firsthand what I am going through. Be each other’s sponsors, you say, eh.”

“Yes. Sort of like alcoholics or drugies have a support system if they feel they are falling off the wagon. I can help you practice controlling your episodes when you start to spin out, if you want. I’ve had plenty of practice since I was sixteen. Come to me in private if you feel more comfortable that way. And we can hash out a plan together that suits you best. Do we have a deal?” Maya offered up a suggestion. “No one needs to walk alone in your healing journey.”

Louis sighed and gave her a soft smile. “Okay, deal. Thank you, Maya. Really.”

Maya gave him a respectful nod. “No problem. What friends are for, right?” She then drummed her fingers on her thighs. “So, what do you say about helping me gather some herbs? I only need a few herbs to make sure we’re successful on both fronts. Me helping you with your PTSD flashbacks. And you helping me gather herbs for medicines to help with Ruby.”

“Gah. Okay. Fine, Pocahontas. You win. Lead the way on your medical mission.” Louis groaned with annoyance as he waved his hand.

“Okay, first off, no more nicknaming me Pocahontas. Hate that term. If you are going to nickname me after a famous Native American woman. Stick to the ones that are in my tribe. Like Stands with a Fist, or someone else.” Maya said, a bit annoyed. ”Pocahontas is from the Powhatan tribe and was forced to marry a man half her age when she was 14. Rather not be associated with that.”

“Okay, I will keep that in mind,” Louis responded by scratching his head out of embarrassment.

“Forgiven.” Maya giggled at his response. To lighten the mood, she playfully jabbed him in the ribs and nudged her head to get a move on. “Come on, let’s head back to the hunting grounds. I know last time I came that way I found some roots by the river.”

After spending time finding the herbs Maya needed. They walked back to the school on the old beaten footpath. Louis glanced down at Maya and smiled at his new friend. She was starting to feel like an older sister to him. He took a closer look and saw bruises on Maya’s neck. And several marks lower, leading down to her chest. He couldn’t help but snicker as he grinned at the thought of Violet getting a bit frisky with her new partner.

Maya slowly turned her brown eyes to glance at him as she heard a snicker. “What is so funny?”

“Nothing...just hmm. Err umm. You know what. Never mind.” Louis said as he glanced away. Trying to keep what he knows is going on between Violet and her.

“No. It is not. Nothing. You know something. What is it? And why are you smiling at me like that?” Maya responds, trying to get Louis to cough up what he knows.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. And I am not smiling at you.” Louis tries to hide, but his body language is giving it away.

“Louis. You are a shitty liar. And you have a terrible poker face. Spit it out.” Maya said, growing annoyed.

“Okay. I know you and Vi are---” Louis was nervous to say the words.

“Are what?” Maya asked.

“Having intimate relations.” Louis looked at her with a grin on his face. He saw Maya’s face go bright red as she lost a little composure. He noticed she was starting to get flustered.

“No--we-- are, no--” Maya started to deny it and cover it up. “How do you even know? Have you been eavesdropping on us?” Maya asked as she stopped walking, as Louis giggled.

“Let’s just say, during the night of that really bad blizzard we had. You two were doing more than just ‘making out’. And being a little bit enthusiastic about expressing what you both feel for each other. Especially Vi.” Louis finally spills what he found out that night.

“Oh, God!” Maya responds, now feeling sheer embarrassment. She covers her eyes with her hand, hiding from Louis. On her natural instinct, which she feels towards another female.

Louis gently uncovers Maya’s hands from her eyes. “Relax, Maya. I didn’t tell anyone. Not even to Clem. I know how much you two have the hots for each other. I saw it on both of your faces day one. When you checked out Violet. Yeah, I know that subtle eye scan, Maya.” He reassured her. “I know how much of a private person Vi is. And she will probably kill me if she ever knew that I know of her first time being intimate with someone. So, I made up a bullshit thing when Clem asked me what that sound she heard that night was. About what was really going on in your room.”

Maya sighs in relief. “Thank you. I don’t know what to---thanks.”

“No problem. Your secret is safe with me. What friends are for, right?” Louis said, winking at her. Then he gave a shrug. “And I totally get those desires. Had plenty of my moments with---ahem.” He blushed as he opened up to her about the same feelings he has with Clementine. “I’ve got to say, though. You must have given her one hell of a birthday present that night.”

“What?” Maya squints her eyes at what he just said.

“Don’t tell Vi this. But I know her birthday. She was born on February 7th. And that night was her birthday that she never likes to be reminded of.” He smiled as he gave her a little tip on something Minerva never knew about Violet. “Not even Minnie managed to make Violet that happy. You must have done something to really impress her. Because Vi left you lots of presents on your neck there.”

“Shut up~” Maya swatted at Louis as he teased her.

“Hehe~ Nope. I get all bragging rights now. Since Violet started it several months back with me and Clem. All’s fair in love and war.” He giggled as he kind of let it slip about his own intimate moment with Clementine. Then there was an awkward moment between them as they looked away at the same time. Sharing a bit too many personal details about their romantic relationships with their girlfriends.

After the moment had passed. Louis spoke up first as he cleared his throat. “Well---ahem--hm...Vi is lucky to have you in her life. You help ground her and make her complete. And living life instead of just surviving. I’ve never seen her look so genuinely happy until you. She probably will never admit it. But you changed her. In a good way.” Louis spoke with a genuine, soft voice.

“Thanks. But I can’t take all credit here. She changed because she had someone to believe in her. To have her see she has a purpose in life again. And to feel wanted.” Maya replies back, being modest. “In some ways, she changed me too. For the better.”

Louis smiles back and couldn’t help but tease her, “Yeah. I’m sure you fulfill that purpose with your cool sexy swagger you have going on. That gets Violet going wild for you.”

Maya flashes him a daring look and playfully trips Louis up with her foot to make him stumble forward and fall into some bushes. She lets out a cute snicker. She peers over him as Louis looks up at her in the brush. “Oops. Clumsy me.” She does a cute head tilt, looking at the lying-down Louis. “Did you have a nice fall?”

“Fuck you,” he fires back at Maya’s sassy words. Flashing her his middle finger.

Maya teases him right back with her playful sass. “Nice.” She air pockets Louis’s fuck you symbol. Then she snorts and mimics Violet’s full-body eye roll. “dumbass.” The two of them laughed as they shared a unique bond that day.

As they approach the familiar gates of Ericson Boarding School for Troubled Youth, Louis slows down to appreciate Maya as a person. In some weird way, he is starting to see how his father adopted him as a second child. She is easygoing and tender in her care for others. A real down-to-earth kind of gal. I am beginning to understand what my father sees in Maya. If I were granted the gift of a sibling, I imagine it would be someone like her. She feels like an older sister I never had.

Maya soon notices Louis’s brief absence on her walk back to school. She turns back as Louis just stands still for a moment. “You coming? Or are you trippin’.”

“Uh yeah.---I’m coming,” Louis said, shaking his thoughts away. He glanced to the side and tried to get Maya back by tripping him. He saw Maya’s hoodie and reached to pull it up over her head, but Maya must have sensed what he was thinking.

Her arm was fast as she blocked Louis from trying anything. “You’ve got to do better than Louis. I’m not that easy to prank.” She sneered at him. “I did have two younger siblings before the fucking apocalypse happened. As they both tried and failed to outplay me. I know all of their tricks.” Maya teases him. “Come on, you.” Louis smiles as they walk through the school’s gates.

Violet and Clementine are at one of the picnic tables preparing for an early supper. When both Louis and Maya walk through the gates. Both girls glance at their mates as they laugh and giggle together. It draws attention to both Clementine and Violet. Both girls look at each other in confusion. Clementine knows there is still awkward tension with Louis since Maya joined the group. But now, looking at her boyfriend and Maya interacting together. They seem like old friends. She comes over to Violet and leans to whisper in her ear, “Am I imagining things? Or are Louis and Maya sharing a laugh and enjoying one another’s company?”

Violet looks and sees her girlfriend bonding with Louis. A puzzled expression crosses her face at what she is witnessing. “Huh. That is strange. You’re not imagining things, Clem. Louis has always been weird around Maya since she joined the group. Something about her knowing his father. And he got super weird about it. I don’t know why. What the fuck happened on that herb hunting when we were fishing?” Clementine shrugs her shoulders on that and shakes her head.

Before Louis parts ways from Maya to go be with Clementine, he elbows her, “I will get you back for tripping me. This isn’t over.”

“Hit me with your best shot, Lou. I will be waiting.” Maya sneers back at him in a friendly manner. She gives him a slight wink of the eye before she walks away to find Ruby and hands off her medicine bag to the other healer in the group.

Louis chuckles a bit at her challenging call as he walks over to Clementine and gives her a warm hug. She smiles against his chest, “You seem different.”

“I feel different,” Louis said in a soft voice. “In a good way.” Louis looks at his mate. “Anything I can do to help?”

Clementine smiles softly and shakes her head. “No, not really. Supper is about done.” She sees Violet and Maya embrace, then looks back at her man. “Okay, I’ve got to ask. What happened when you were out herb hunting with Maya?” Louis looks at her with a small head tilt. “Violet told me when we were fishing.”

Louis nods with a slight head bobble. Of course, Violet told you. He then eyes Clementine with his soft brown eyes and sighs, “We’ve gotten to know and understand one another a bit more. And ask the big questions I was scared to ask several months ago. What was my father like, and did he ask about me? That sort of nature.” He spoke half the truth to Clementine as he kept what Maya did to help him out with his PTSD and the demons he had to confront.

Clementine looks at Louis and copies his head tilt, “Oh. Did you find the answers you needed?”

“Yes. All good things and not what I expected to hear.” Louis replies to Clementine’s comment. He shrugged his shoulders a little and rubbed the back of his neck. “I never actually said this before until now. But on that day, the caravan group fell. I’m glad you have her in this group. She helped me heal and get some closure on my dad.”

Clementine comes into Louis’s chest and nuzzles him. He embraces the affectionate touch. His eyes took a quick glance over at his adoptive big sister. He sees her and Violet doing the same affectionate embrace. Louis smiles at that, then looks down at Clementine. “So----ahem. Anything new for supper or the same old, same old?” Clementine giggles at that and pulls Louis over to the table, and everyone sits around to enjoy a nice warm meal on a cool spring night.