Dad?

I know there is love here.

It may just be hidden by the mistrust, ire and dissatisfaction.

I am craving a connection rather than just coexistence.

You ask me to come downstairs, but you pick a fight.

I ask for help, other people need it more than you.

I want to stay home, you want me to socialize. I beg to socialize, but my room isnt clean enough, my laundry isn't done, my grades arent all A's.

You told me I can call you by your name, you cry when I don't call you dad now.

You try to take me away from the place I love, you cry when I finally leave.

You yell, say hateful comments, but you say you love me.

Do you love me?

I see the pride in your eyes when you see her out there, carrying our colors, but this is the first time.

I see you laughing, I must've lost that privilege long ago.

When I 'go to bed' I hear you playing, having fun. It used to be like that with us.

Remember?

Or was it just a dream?

I want to leave, but I will not leave her behind. I will not let her endure what I and the one before me had to.

Would you talk about her, the way you talk about me?

Would you judge her, like you judge me?

Would you lie to her, like you lie to me?

But I treat you both equally.

Will I ever be good enough?

Will I ever make you proud?

Will you ever love me?

Is this just a misunderstanding?

Dad?