Chapter 1
THE PREFACE
According to dictionaries, biography means an account of the series of events making up a person's life.
This book is written based on the events that transpired with a man who made the woman he loves his life.
In the middle of a storm, sitting at the lobby, Dwain was waiting for his turn for an interview. Outside, the
rain kept falling, and everybody inside seemed to be doing the same thing—waiting, watching the door,
hoping that the next name called would be theirs. Then Charlotte came in. She went straight to the sofa,
looked around, and noticed Dwain. Without knowing anything about him, she asked, “You’re here for an
interview as well?” Dwain replied, “Yes, and you?” Charlotte, with a straight face, said, “Yes.” It was a
simple conversation. Nothing dramatic happened. No music played in the background, no one knew that
anything important had just occurred. Later, they would realize that this ordinary moment was the
beginning of what would become their greatest story never told.
Weeks passed, and they saw each other again in the company where they had first met. They ended up
in the same department, carrying the same designation and dealing with the same routines that made office
life both predictable and tiring. The two became ride mates because Dwain could drop Charlotte at a place
where she could get another ride home. The trips were short, but the conversations were not. They talked
about their own partners, their families, their habits and the strange little things that made up their lives.
Charlotte would say, “Me and my husband talks about stuff like the ingredients of beer.” Dwain would just
laugh at each story, thinking how boring and predictable this girl’s life was. Dwain, on the other hand, had
his own stories. “My son’s first word was sexy.” Charlotte, of course, had a different opinion. To her,
Dwain’s life sounded wild, unpredictable and almost impossible to understand. They were different in
nearly every way, and perhaps that was the reason they were comfortable arguing with each other. Neither
one was particularly interested in pleasing the other. There was no reason to impress each other. At least,
that was what they believed then.
After a few activities, projects and presentations, the department they belonged to was assigned to go to
North Carolina for training. There were four of them going: Shaun, a bisexual who at this time just wanted
boys; Jackson, who had always been gay; Charlotte; and Dwain. The trip began like most work trips
do—with bags, schedules, jokes and the quiet expectation that everyone would simply get through the
assignment and return home. Once there, each got their own room and rested to prepare for the first day of
training. During the courses they took, Charlotte and Dwain always disagreed on subject matters. Both had
very strong personalities. Charlotte was the married woman with a kid who believed that she was the most
independent woman in the world and could survive even without a partner. Dwain, at that time, was living
with the mother of his son and believed he could get away with everything simply by using his good looks
and charm. Neither one was willing to admit that the arguments were becoming a form of attention. They
challenged each other. They corrected each other. They laughed at each other. Then they went back to their
rooms and prepared for another day, convinced that nothing unusual was happening.
4As part of their itinerary for training, the four also needed to visit Roanoke, Virginia, a silent, simple
place with a façade of old English edifices. The group was perky because of the mix they had. They were
four very different people put together in a place far from home, and naturally they wanted to make the
most of it. They went to the only happening bar in the area. For three nights straight, the four would go to
the same bar. It was ecstasy for Shaun and Jackson because most of the crowd was gay and lesbian. Dwain
had his time too, chatting with pretty girls in the bar and telling Charlotte that he could get any girl, so he
did. Charlotte watched all of it with the same expression she used at work. She teased him, challenged him
and sometimes looked as if she could not believe how much confidence one person could have. Each day
became a repetition: work, then bar. It was during those repetitive nights that something began to change,
although neither Charlotte nor Dwain wanted to give it a name.
One night, while Shaun and Jackson were having the time of their lives—Jackson had just hooked up
with one of the employees in Roanoke—Charlotte and Dwain began a contest on who could drink the most.
Cup by cup, they drank. When the bar was about to close, Charlotte asked, “You drunk yet?” Dwain
replied, “Of course not. Where can we get something to drink?” Charlotte said, “I still have a bottle of wine
in my room.” Since Charlotte was staying in a different hotel, Dwain agreed to finish the bottle and go to
Charlotte’s hotel. In Charlotte’s room, the two drank. After the bottle was finished, Charlotte went to her
bed and lay down, while Dwain lay on the sofa. Then Charlotte told Dwain, “You can stay in my bed.”
Charlotte had an extra-large bed, and Dwain did so. After a few minutes, Dwain jumped at Charlotte and
kissed her. Charlotte reciprocated. The inevitable happened. The next day, Charlotte was scheduled to go to
New York to meet a friend, so Dwain was left with a baffled mind, thinking about what had happened. It
was not supposed to happen. They both hated each other. They had never been attracted to each other.
Charlotte was supposedly the straight married woman. Dwain felt guilty. He did not know what Charlotte
was going through, and he kept asking himself if he had taken advantage of a situation where they were
both drunk. The question stayed with him even after she left.
When Charlotte came back from New York, she was surprised to see Dwain waiting at the lobby of her
hotel. Dwain said hi and brought Charlotte to her room. The whole night, Dwain stayed on the sofa and
watched Charlotte sleep until the next morning, watching the movie Cruel Intentions on HBO. There was
something strangely quiet about that night. After everything that had happened, there was no argument and
no explanation. Just two people trying to act as if they had not crossed a line they had both insisted did not
exist. The four continued going through their training. As expected, Charlotte and Dwain were not talking
about what happened. Then, after another stressful day, the four decided to get a drink together with some
of their trainers. They first went to a karaoke bar, where Dwain, Jackson and Shaun made a boy-band-like
performance, while Charlotte was asking money from all customers. Nobody asked her to do that anyway.
The laughter helped. For a while, the awkwardness disappeared. Then, while one of the customers was
singing a slow song, Charlotte went to Dwain to dance on the floor. Dwain held her hand. With their arms
wrapped around each other, Charlotte asked, “So what’s the deal?” Dwain replied, “What happened was
just a one-night thing, nothing more, nothing less. It won’t happen again.” He said it as though saying it
aloud could make it true.
5From the karaoke restaurant they went to the bar again. As usual, Shaun was dancing his heart out, and
Jackson was busy lip-locking with his new playmate. Charlotte and Dwain were sitting by the bar when a
pretty girl approached Charlotte and praised her, saying how pretty she was. After a few minutes,
everybody was shocked to see Charlotte kissing the stranger. Dwain felt aggravated without knowing why.
Shaun was smiling all throughout, saying how sexy the scene was. Dwain even got mad at Shaun for doing
that. That moment, Dwain felt oblivious veneration, so he did what he thought was the best thing to do at
that time: get whoever girl he wanted. When Charlotte and the girl stopped kissing, Dwain went beside
them. He asked the girl, “After kissing her, now would you like to kiss me?” The girl smiled and kissed
Dwain. Charlotte, on the other hand, felt weird but, of course, never showed it. The night was almost done.
Walking toward their hotel rooms, Dwain went inside Shaun’s room and apologized for getting mad at him.
When Dwain came out, he was surprised to see Charlotte waiting outside Shaun’s room. Once again,
without even talking about anything, the two began kissing and slept beside each other in Dwain’s room.
The next day, they still were not talking about what had happened or what was happening. Charlotte was
bemused. Dwain stood behind his pride, convincing himself that this was simply another one of his
activities to boost his ego. They both ignored everything. Or at least they tried.
Then came the night of Thanksgiving. The four decided to have a cook-off in Charlotte’s place. Dwain
cooked his own version of chicken soup. During that day, Dwain decided to write a letter with poems to
Charlotte, since he was a frustrated writer. He wrote everything he was feeling and gave it to Charlotte at
the end of the day. Writing was easier than speaking. On paper, he could say the things that his pride would
not allow him to say out loud. The next night was the last night in Roanoke, and they slept together again.
The following day, Charlotte would be going to Florida while Dwain would once again have to go to North
Carolina with Shaun and Jackson. Now Dwain was in North Carolina and Charlotte was in Florida. They
bought phones at the same time without knowing they had done so. The next day, Dwain found out
Charlotte’s number and sent her a message: “You miss me?” Right there and then, Charlotte knew it was
Dwain. “I do.” Then Charlotte texted, “Believe it or not, I’m still loving your chicken soup.” They talked
every day when they were apart for one week. Each talk lasted two hours at the shortest. Something that
was supposed to have been one night had become something that continued even when they were no longer
in the same place.
Then Charlotte came back to North Carolina. Dwain wanted to make the day special. He picked
different flowers and surprised Charlotte when she came back. When Charlotte arrived in her room, she
texted Dwain, “Here.” Dwain ran to Charlotte’s room, presented the flowers and Charlotte loved them.
They kissed, and Dwain unconsciously whispered, “I love you.” Both of them looked at each other. Then
they continued kissing and made love the whole day. Every day during the course of the training, Dwain
would sneak into Charlotte’s room and sleep there. They slept close to each other, feeling the comfort of
another person’s presence. In the middle of their sleep, they would wake to each other’s breath and find
themselves drawn together again. He would wake up at six in the morning to go back to his room and
prepare for training. This went on for one week. They even made code names for each other. Charlotte
called Dwain “trouble,” while Dwain called Charlotte “strife.” It was almost a joke. Trouble and strife. Two
people who were not supposed to be together, giving each other names that somehow made perfect sense.
6On the last night of the four, the team from North Carolina planned a farewell party for them. The host
was one of the managers who had helped them during the training, and it was held at the manager’s house.
Everybody was there—their trainers, their colleagues and the people they had come to know during their
stay. During the night, everybody started singing and dancing. Dwain asked everybody to have a cheers,
stating, “This is for lying, cheating and stealing.” All the guests in the house were shocked to hear that
statement. Blank faces were everywhere. Then Dwain continued, “If you lie, lie for a friend, if you cheat,
cheat death, if you steal, steal a heart, and all of you here have stolen our hearts. Thank you very much,
guys, for everything.” Everybody clapped and cheered. The house returned to laughter and music. Dwain
led them in singing “Save Tonight” by Eagle-Eye Cherry. The manager and his wife showed off their
dance. From the corner, Charlotte whispered to Dwain, “That could’ve been us.” At that moment, Dwain
lost his thoughts. He knew he had a live-in partner and a son waiting at home, while Charlotte was married
with a daughter. Amid all of this, he was caught in a dilemma: whether to pursue Charlotte or leave
everything that had happened behind. That night, Dwain and Charlotte spent their last night together in
North Carolina. The next morning, Dwain brought Charlotte to the airport. Their first public kiss. It was
brief, but it meant more than all the private moments that came before it. For days, they continued their
phone conversations with words of adoration and yearning. Dwain and Charlotte continued talking for five
days, and the last night was a passionate talk. Before the call ended, they made an agreement that they
would not talk until Charlotte got back. Dwain said he would call Charlotte and ask if she still felt the same.
Whatever Charlotte’s answer would be, it would be the final one. For the first time, they were going to
allow an answer to decide what they had become.
Finally, the training was over. Dwain, Shaun and Jackson needed to go back to their hometown, while
Charlotte would pass by Virginia for five days before going back to their hometown. While Dwain was
waiting for Charlotte to be back, he went with his live-in partner and his kid, secretly compiling pictures of
him and Charlotte while in North Carolina and Virginia. He noticed something that surprised him. Almost
all the pictures they had as a group, even before their first night happened, showed Charlotte and Dwain
beside each other. Maybe they had been moving toward each other long before either of them knew it.
Dwain each day was hoping that Charlotte still felt the same way when she came back. Charlotte,
meanwhile, had the letters that Dwain gave her and was reading them over and over. In the office, Dwain
did his work, dealt with the boss that he and Charlotte hated, and started creating a scrapbook. He gave it
the title “oblivious veneration.” He did not know where the story was going. He only knew that he wanted
to remember where it had been.
Fire and Ice
Warmth soul of the fickle strife afar from touch of soft hands
The flame of dawn scene echoes beneath the foreign lands
Cold period of yearning a piece to this entire existence
Wintry voice of a tired soul a word of persistence
7Hot stroke of mourn with every note that lingers the ear
Hammy furred the delicate skin with whisper – I am here
Icy days of bemused questions… of wonder… of lust
Moist the mirror it fades it dissolves it shows the trust
Drunk as drunk in the tavern of jovial and two sex
Unconscious minds laid in a mat of king hex
NC – founding the Fire of trouble……… ice of strife
Oblivious veneration we eat, we moan, we survive life
