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Average Ratings

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  • Grammar & Punctuation

What is your opinion?

Needs more detail

"Plot wise, what I understood seemed to have potential, but a lot didn't quite make sense to me. If this is a teaser for something more, it does its job. But it doesn't stand alone. This bit of writing could definitely benefit from more details. I wasn't sure if the son killed the dad to free him or if something else happened. Why are they immortal? Why are they so controlled? Just stuff like that. I think this has potential. It puts hooks in the reader from the beginning, but I think that it needs a little work. Keep writing! :)"

  • Overall Rating
  • Plot
  • Writing Style
  • Grammar & Punctuation