Dragon Magnet

Disclaimer: I do not own the anime/manga “Naruto” or “Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon (Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid)“, and the only thing I own is this alternate/parallel story that I have written for fun for curious readers.)

Dragon Magnet

Chapter 1: What Do You Want?

Reading Guide:

“Dialogues”

«Thoughts»

Rasengan!(Attacks / Abilities / Chakra / Jutsu / Ki / Magic / Techniques)

[Reading / News / Intercoms]

A man with strikingly exotic, spiky black hair and piercing, coal-dark eyes slowly stirred from his slumber as the very first, tender rays of morning sunlight breached his window, cascading gently across his face.

«Just another day where you open your eyes and refuse to die, Naruto...» he thought, a familiar, weary bitterness lingering in his mind.

This man—bearing the vibrant, youthful appearance of an eighteen-year-old, yet burdened with the heavy, inescapable curse of immortality—is none other than ‘Naruto’. Standing at an imposing height of1.96 meters (6′5"), his large, powerfully built and muscular frame is wrapped in a lightly bronzed, sun-kissed complexion. His spiky black hair catches the light with a distinctive, striking gray sheen, featuring two prominent bangs that perfectly frame his rugged face and those unfathomable, charcoal-black eyes. (He is also, as one might proudly say, exceptionally well-endowed—wink, wink xdxd).

His chosen attire speaks of a life of constant readiness and shadows: a pitch-black, full-body spandex suit that hugs his athletic build, draped over with a heavy, flowing black cloak that envelops his entire form. A matching black hood rests pulled back, ready to conceal his features at a moment’s notice. Finally, his combat gear is completed by a pair of sturdy, tactile gray gloves and heavy-duty navy blue combat boots, distinctly tied with vibrant orange laces—a subtle homage to a loud, forgotten past.

Our beloved protagonist was currently wallowing in a deep, existential depression. Why? Because he had yet to kick the bucket, and given the cruel nature of the curse thrust upon him so long ago, he likely never would.Damn that wretched witch, he cursed internally.

However, there was one singular, glorious thing that could instantly brighten his day, no matter how profoundly sorrowful he felt, and that was the following truth:

—Thank the heavens for whoever invented ramen in this world,Dattebayo!

The spiky, dark-haired man was just about to dive into the savory, steaming bliss of his absolute favorite meal when he froze dead in his tracks. A sudden, palpable shift in the air pressure alerted his honed senses; a distinctly non-human presence had boldly invaded his territory. Without wasting a single microsecond, his body reacted on pure instinct. He vanished in a blur of speed, materializing right at the front door of his home, throwing it wide open before the brazen intruder could even formulate a reaction.

—What are you doing here, dragon? —Naruto asked, his voice laced with a frigid, cutting coldness. His charcoal eyes narrowed as he looked down at the ‘enormous’ flying reptile, which had now compressed itself into a rather petite, surprisingly human-like version, a stark contrast to the terrifying leviathan she originally was.

«Could this be some sort of advanced transformation ability...?» he pondered, a deep frown creasing his forehead. His strategic mind immediately recognized the sheer danger this creature posed. If a fire-breathing lizard of her caliber could effortlessly infiltrate human society wearing such a flawless disguise, ordinary humans would have absolutely no countermeasures against the ensuing slaughter.

The humanoid dragon visibly shivered, her entire frame trembling at the frosty tone and the piercing glare of the man standing before her. This was the very same man who had defeated her with such overwhelming, casual ease that, initially, it had felt like an unbearable humiliation—a disgrace so profound she had genuinely preferred death over the agony of living with it. Yet, for some inexplicable reason, he had spared her life, and she needed to know why... She was fiercely determined not to leave this spot until she extracted an answer that satisfied her burning pride.

—H-Hello, N-Naruto-san...

—What do you want? —he interrupted sharply, his tone blunt and utterly devoid of warmth. He saw absolutely no need to drag out this tedious conversation, but his sharp eyes caught a subtle shift in the lizard’s aura, causing one of his eyebrows to quirk up in mild curiosity. «Her energy signature feels entirely different than the first time we met...»

The dragon of the Chaos Faction was practically sweating bullets. The sheer, suffocating atmospheric pressure exuding from the mere presence of the man standing casually in the doorway was paralyzing; his aura was so unfathomably dense that it reduced her to feeling like a defenseless, newborn hatchling trembling before an eldritch force she lacked the words to comprehend.

—I-I... I-I...

In the end, no coherent words managed to escape her lips, because she abruptly collapsed onto the floor in a completely inexplicable, unceremonious swoon.

—Damn it all... Why do these ridiculous things always happen to me? —Naruto asked the empty air, throwing his hands up at the wildly unexpected turn of events.

—It’s you and your stupid, ridiculously soft heart, Naruto... one of these days, doing these things is really going to blow up in my face... —he muttered, releasing a long, bone-weary sigh. He noticed that the dangerous creature’s small body was still heavily bruised and battered from thesingle, restrained strike he had delivered, and despite his logic, a sharp pang of guilt pierced his chest.

Without another thought, our beloved protagonist crouched down. Gently, he scooped the unconscious humanoid dragon into his strong arms, carrying her effortlessly in a bridal style. He stepped back into the warmth of his home, walking down the hall to his bedroom, where he carefully deposited his uninvited guest onto the soft mattress. Immediately, his hands flared to life, enveloped in a warm, soothing emerald-green glow. The sudden surge of healing energy caused the girl to gasp and snap her eyes wide open.

—Hold still, I am going to heal you, —Naruto ordered firmly, watching as the dragon’s body instinctively went rigid, her reptilian eyes locking onto his with raw, unadulterated fear.

«God damn... I don’t think I’ve seen breasts this massive since Tsunade-baachan or Hinata-chan,» he thought, a massive, metaphorical sweatdrop sliding down the back of his head as he momentarily blinked in sheer bewilderment at the young woman’s ridiculous proportions. Thankfully, she was entirely too panicked to notice.

The humanoid dragon obediently froze, and a mere second later, her eyes widened in absolute astonishment. She could physically feel her deep-seated wounds knitting back together, repairing themselves in a miraculous instant—at a speed that vastly outpaced even her own potent draconic magic. This terrifying display of power made her question, with mounting dread, justwhothis human was... no, what thisbeingsitting before her truly was. He wasn’t a deity, for she didn’t sense even a whisper of divine energy radiating from him, yet there was something profoundly unsettling about his presence. So, what was he? She didn’t know, and frankly, she was terrified to find out.

—Ilulu, wasn’t it?

The girl known as ‘Ilulu’ (Nickname: ‘Iruru’) possesses a fair, pale complexion, standing at a petite1.50 meters (4′11"). She boasts an extremely voluptuous figure, characterized most prominently by her exceptionally massive bust. She has vibrant salmon-pink hair and matching pink eyes. Her attire consists of a heavy black cloak lined with dark fur. Beneath it, she wears dangerously skimpy attire: a black string thong with a matching, barely-there bra. Her measurements are an astounding130-62-94(bust, waist, hips, respectively). Notably, despite being in a human guise, her thick, scaly dragon arms and sharp horns remain fully visible, a clear testament to her poor mastery over her transformation magic.

The newly named girl nodded slowly, genuinely shocked that this unfathomable man had bothered to remember her name. The simple utterance acted as a catalyst, forcefully dragging a rush of vivid, painfully fresh memories to the forefront of her mind:

Flashback

A gargantuan, terrifying dragon—a Ukrainian Ironbelly. Her thick, nearly impenetrable scales were a striking magenta-red, catching the light with a lethal, metallic gleam, while her eyes burned a fierce, glowing pink. She belonged to a bipedal race, marked by a metallic gray underbelly, a colossal wingspan, wickedly long claws, and incredibly rough, jagged scales. As the absolute largest breed of dragon in existence, weighing a staggering six tons, her deep, intense red-pink eyes surveyed the world with inherent malice.

—What a beautifully structured city. And look at all those disgusting, smiling people... Nothing else is needed to fully enjoy a glorious massacre!

Without a shred of hesitation, she unhinged her massive, jagged maw, drawing in the surrounding oxygen to charge a devastating, apocalyptic blast of concentrated fire. Her intent was singular: to obliterate a massive chunk of the city and reduce its blissful inhabitants to drifting ash... just visualizing their screams of absolute horror and agonizing terror excited her. It was a spectacle truly fitting for an all-powerful being of the Chaos Faction like herself.

—I wouldn’t do that if I were you, flying lizard.

The colossal dragon forcefully choked back her charging attack, snapping her jaws shut as the calm words reached her ears. For a fleeting second, she genuinely believed she had misheard, or perhaps her mind was playing tricks on her... but no, a puny, insignificanthumanhad dared to speak to her. Worse, he had dared to interrupt her divine entertainment. Unacceptable.Utterly unacceptable!

—How dare you interrupt me, human? Do you not realize you are standing in the presence ofthe Great and Almighty Ilulu?!

Naruto completely ignored the dramatic, booming nonsense spouting from the enormous fire-breathing lizard. He stood casually, a mere few meters away from her massive snout, his posture completely relaxed, not displaying even a microscopic ounce of fear or the natural survival instinct to flee and protect himself.

—I’m only going to give you one single warning. If you don’t turn around and go right back the way you came, I’m going to have to...

—Blah, blah, blah! What are you going to do, weak human? Are you going to cry and beg for mercy until I die of absolute boredom?

She keenly noticed that the spiky-haired ‘human’s’ gaze darkened considerably, and she couldn’t help but let out a mocking, arrogant smirk, immensely pleased that she had managed to provoke a reaction out of him. On the spot, she made the delightful decision to personally torture this arrogant speck of dust and revel in his prolonged suffering.

—I’m going to kick your ass.

Ilulu’s gigantic eyes widened to the size of boulders when the ‘human’ instantaneously vanished, reappearing directly in front of her snout at a velocity that defied all logic, leaving her completely speechless. Acting on pure, panicked reflex, she charged a cataclysmic blast of hellfire and unleashed it point-blank, fully intending to pulverize this impossible threat into utter oblivion.

—D-DIE!

To the dragon’s absolute, soul-crushing horror, the human... no... thismonsteremerged completely and entirely unscathed from her concentrated fire attack (How in the world did he do that?! Not even she had a clue), and to make matters infinitely worse, she saw a relaxed, highly amused smirk dancing on his lips.

—My turn.

She never even comprehended what hit her. In a fraction of a blink, Ilulu found herself cratered into the solid earth. A blinding, paralyzing agony erupted across her massive spine—a single, devastating blow that completely shattered her equilibrium, rendering her entirely incapable of moving to defend herself against a follow-up attack... an attack that would undoubtedly end her life. For the very first time in her long, chaotic existence, she felt the icy, suffocating grip of the fear of death.

—Oh? You actually survived one of my punches?

The great dragon forced her heavy eyelids open with agonizing difficulty, only to find the unknown, terrifying being standing directly over her. The casual apathy in his voice froze the blood in her veins, locking her firmly in place; she wouldn’t have moved for anything in the world.

—You’re strong.

Of all the things Ilulu expected in her final moments, a genuine compliment from this... human-shaped anomaly was at the absolute bottom of the list.

—Naruto, that’s my name. Etch it into your memory, dragon... and by the way, don’t ever attempt to attack another human being again. Because if you do, I will hunt you down and kill you personally.

Then, without another word, she watched in stunned silence as the very man who had effortlessly handed her the most humiliating defeat of her life casually turned and walked away, not even bothering to finish her off. It was a wave of monumental relief, yes, but simultaneously, it was a total, soul-destroying humiliation for a creature as fiercely proud as she was. Naturally, it infuriated her to the point of desperately wanting to try and kill him again... but two very crucial things anchored her to the dirt: her agonizing injury, and secondly, the terrifyingly absolute promise of death delivered by this ‘Naruto’.

...

..

.

Humans were incredibly, insanely lucky to have a guy like this standing as their protector... Without another coherent thought, she fainted, and her world faded to absolute, silent black.

End of Flashback

—Y-You know my name...? —Ilulu asked, her voice trembling, reduced to a barely audible whisper as she snapped back to reality. She attempted to summon the courage to look up at the enigmatic man who had just miraculously healed her, but she simply couldn’t find the strength, opting instead to stare intensely at her own scaly hands.

Our beloved, overpowered protagonist offered a simple, affirming nod.

—Yeah, —Naruto replied easily. —The Great and Almighty Ilulu? —he added, deliberately adopting a pompous, proud tone, playfully mimicking a certain arrogant, oversized flying lizard.

The young woman with salmon-pink hair couldn’t stop the furious flush of deep red embarrassment that rapidly consumed her cheeks at the mortifying reminder.

—I’m sorry... —Ilulu mumbled, her head hung low. She genuinely wished the earth would just split open and swallow her whole to escape this incredibly foreign, overwhelmingly vulnerable feeling she was entirely unaccustomed to experiencing.

The spiky black-haired man stood there in silence, his dark eyes studying her carefully for a few long seconds, before letting out a soft sigh tinged with a hint of chronic exhaustion.

—Do you want something to eat? —Naruto asked, his voice noticeably softer. Whatever lingering annoyance he harbored toward this humanoid dragon had completely evaporated; through his seasoned eyes, she was no longer a threat.

The pink-eyed young woman was fully prepared to stubbornly refuse his charity, but her own body instantly betrayed her as her stomach let out a thunderous, incredibly loud growl that echoed through the quiet room.

—I’ll just take that as a yes, —Naruto concluded, a small, genuine smile finally breaking across his face as he pushed himself up to stand.

The humanoid dragon’s face erupted into an even darker shade of red, suffering her second bout of profound embarrassment in a single lifetime; a flushed state that, completely unbeknownst to her, was about to become a very frequent occurrence in her future, all thanks to a certain retired shinobi.

—Do you like pork?

The salmon-pink-haired girl’s eyes instantly lit up with the radiance of a thousand suns, and she nodded her head with frantic, feverish enthusiasm.

—Y-Yes!

...

..

.

One hundred bowls of ramen later...

Naruto sat hunched over the counter, completely and utterly depressed. A tragedy of unparalleled proportions had just unfolded, leaving the veteran warrior completely speechless and in a state of profound shock.

—My ramen...

Ilulu had ravenously devoured absolutelyevery single ounceof his meticulously hoarded ramen reserves, a catastrophic event that triggered a full-blown panic attack within the soul of the ex-shinobi.

«Impossible... This isIMPOSSIBLE! Does she actually eat more than Hinata-chan...?!»

Sitting amidst the towering skyscrapers of empty ceramic bowls, the dragon of the Chaos Faction let out a remarkably loud, incredibly vulgar burp, while simultaneously rubbing her ridiculously bloated, distended stomach with an expression of pure, unadulterated satisfaction.

End of Chapter 1

Uploaded: 09/12/26

Updated (Corrected): ?/?/?

Omake 1

Naruto wore a thoroughly wicked, deeply satisfied smirk as he dramatically slammed a card down onto the wooden table, executing a tactical maneuver that guaranteed him a flawless, undeniable victory.

—I win.

Ilulu was instantly enveloped by a thick, visible aura of crushing depression, staring in horror as she realized the brutal reality: she would have to draw another four cards from the ever-growing deck resting in the center of the table.

—...I don’t like this game.

Watching her sulk so intensely, the spiky black-haired man felt a sudden pang of sympathy for the pouting dragon. Reaching across the table, he gently extended his right hand, softly patting the top of her pink-haired head in a warm, comforting gesture meant to lift her spirits.

—Take it easy, Ilulu. You were really close that time, maybe next round you’ll actually manage to beat me.

At the soothing touch and the encouraging words, Ilulu’s deeply depressed expression vanished in a flash, instantly replaced by a fierce, fiery, and renewed determination.

—Alright then, Naruto-san! I challenge you to another rematch! And if I win, you’re going to give me a baby!

Instantly, the cozy cabin was filled once more with the boisterous laughter, the shocked sputtering, and the chaotic shouting of its two peculiar occupants. They continued to deal hands and play several more heated rounds, losing themselves entirely in the simple joy of the game, until the sun finally dipped far below the horizon and they were left with no other choice but to reluctantly get up, head for dinner, and finally retire to bed.

Those initial days that Ilulu spent recuperating in Naruto’s house (a place that was rapidly transforming into her own true home as well) were undeniably the happiest, most peaceful days of her entire life. Deep down, she fiercely hoped that things would remain exactly like this forever; in fact, her draconic mind was already spinning wild, domestic fantasies about starting a proper family with a certain oblivious man.

End of Omake 1