Chapter 1 ~ Hidden Scars
“We have your test results here Miss Malone. We have analyzed and scanned every part of your body. From the top of your head to the tips of your toes.”
Dr Jones strode into the clinical examination room holding an electronic tablet. He was a handsome pegasian man, tall, slim, light brown hair and wings, and a wide, charming smile.
Marianna’s bare legs dangled off the side of the iron bed. She wore a thin white hospital garment that covered her to mid-thigh and it lifted slightly under the draught that Dr Jones brought in with his long, purposeful strides.
Underneath she wore nothing except a bra and panties. The scans to determine her physical and mental health had been performed with only minimal fabric covering, and the lengthy process had left her feeling uncomfortable, tired and very exposed.
Fumbling to flatten the gown back down over her thighs, she watched Dr Jones as he scrolled his long fingers of the tablet screen. Momentarily it lit up his face; his tanned, slightly weathered skin, bright blue eyes, and the light scattering of grey hair over his temples.
“You will be pleased to know that the majority of your results are clear and healthy. No disease, no underlying conditions, and no cause for immediate concern. However….”
Pausing, Dr Jones looked up from the screen and Marianna felt the hairs on her arms prickle under his cool, confident, analytical gaze.
Whenever a sentence began with however, it was never the start of good news.
“However, we have found a few anomalies that need to be discussed,” Dr Jones continued. “May I?” he asked, gesturing to the side of the bed next to Marianna.
“Yes, of course,” she politely replied.
Shifting over, Marianna clasped her hands tightly together on her lap.
With her gaze firmly focused on the small trolley of silver medical equipment that stood against the wall, Marianna breathed steadily. “What anomalies have you found Dr?” she calmly asked.
Named the Bencairn Infirmary, this hospital that Marianna was being examined in was the finest in the land. It was a brand-new building nestled in the valley of the mountains, built by pegasians with state-of-the-art equipment.
But when Marianna had been offered a job here as a midwife and nurse, she had not expected it to come with a complete body and brain scan where all her scars would be analysed, measure, scrutinised and evaluated.
However, if she wanted this job, she had to go through the extensive tests. Everyone did. It was protocol. Standard procedure for new employees.
But as she had lain on the scanning devices, listening to the gentle hum of the machines, staring into the stark whiteness of the shiny clinical walls, Marianna had already known what they would find.
Deep extensive scars on her body and her mind – scars that she could not even begin to explain.
“You seem nervous Miss Malone,” Dr Jones gently said. “Are you ready for this?”
“Of course,” she smiled, turning her head to give him clear, unabashed eye contact.
Dr Jones swiped up on the tablet to show a series of uncomfortable images.
“These scars on your back,” he said with a serious frown. “They are deep, vicious, as though you were whipped, repeatedly.
His words had a strange effect. They seemed to hang in the air, commanding time to stand still while she painfully processed the fact that this picture of the whiplashed back of a young human female was in fact, her own.
“Marianna?” he said. “Can you explain what happened to you?”
“The scars have healed Dr Jones. They were extremely painful at the time, but that was over two years ago, and now it is part of the past. I really don’t think we need to dwell upon them. They will not affect my ability to do my job.”
Breaking free of her momentary trance, Marianna spoke rapidly, desperate to close the spaces between words, where thoughts of pure horror might leak in. “So if that is everything, if my scans show I am generally fit and well, can I go now, please?”
Dr Jones inhaled. It was a slow, deliberate breath, expanding into his broad chest with calm, measured awareness. “Marianna,” he said. “I understand this is difficult, and I also understand that you may not be able to explain how you came to have these scars on your back. But when you work at this hospital, we need to know everything about you. Your welfare is our concern. The scars on your back are not the only thing the test results revealed. But I assume you already know what else we discovered?”
Marianna was a naturally quiet, gently spoken person who tended never to overexplain herself, ask for too much, or expect anything beyond what she had earned.
But right now, she felt like screaming. She felt like opening her mouth as wide as she could and letting the loud distress of her forgotten past flood out in blood curdling incoherence.
Closing her eyes, Marianna lifted her head so the light from the ceiling glowed warmly through her lids. “My memory,” she softly said. “You found the gap in my memory.”
So, they had discovered it.
The sliver of doubt she had held onto, the one that said it was still impossible to see deeply into the human mind, was gone. And it had been abruptly replaced with the stark realization that their equipment, their probes and their scans were so sophisticated and evolved, that they had identified the tiny speck on her brain that was in fact a huge black hole in her life.
The loss of her memory.
The total erasure of one complete section of her existence.
Nearly three complete years ago, Marianna had found herself recovering in a hospital with absolutely no knowledge of how she got there, or what had happened to her.
All she remembered was that one day she was living under the City of Gemini in an apartment with a neighbour called Hilary, working in a hospital, and her best friend was a mermaid called Jessica whom she visited almost every day.
And the next, she was lying on a hospital bed in a land faraway, with wounds on her back and a pegasian watch on her wrist.
She remembered her name, her date of birth, her life growing up, her apartment, her friends, her training and her work. And even though it was only approximately two months of her life that she could not recall, it still felt as though a significant part of her was missing. And no matter who hard she tried to remember, nothing came to her. Nothing at all. Just like trying to squeeze water from a stone.
Sometimes in her dreams Marianna dreamt that she was a spirit floating above the earth, searching for the body that was hers to claim. She had contemplated returning to the Kingdom of Gemini to find her old apartment, visit her friends, find out more about who she really was, and why there was a piece of her that was missing.
But she had managed to create a life for herself in her new location. A life that had purpose, a life she did not want to turn her back on. And there was no guarantee she would find what she was looking for if she returned.
“Yes, our scans found an area of memory loss,” Dr Jones said, pulling up the enlarged image of a section of her brain on the tablet screen. “We discovered this microscopically small dark line. Here you can see that the neural pathways have been severed or temporarily disabled. This area should contain approximately two months of stored memory. But all of it has been blocked out, lost from your consciousness. A complete period of your life that you cannot recall.”
His words echoed through her.
“Can you recover it?” she asked. But as soon as she said it, she instantly regretted that the words had left her mouth. Because it is always the hope that gets you.
“No,” he firmly replied.
He was being honest, but his honesty felt almost cruel.
“Well, as I said before,” she calmly replied, drawing down on her breath. “The memory loss will not affect my ability to do my job. I promise. I am a trained nurse, with years of experience. The months that I cannot remember will not have erased any of that.”
“We do not doubt your competence, Marianna.You come highly recommended.”
“So, do you have any idea how the neural pathways may have been severed?”
“My initial diagnosis is acute, dissociative amnesia caused by extreme trauma, where your subconscious has chosen to forget painful events,” Dr Jones confidently stated.
“But you cannot tell for sure?” Marianna asked.
“No. All I can say is that we must tread carefully. We will not press you to try and remember anything. The safest thing to do, is let your mind heal in its own time.”
Dr Jones seemed kind, and he seemed competent, and she smiled as he held her gaze. “Thank you,” she said.
Dr Jones stepped down from the bed. “And I look forward to working with you Marianna. With your skills, you are going to become a very valued member of our team.”
Stopping at the door he turned around. “And there is just one more thing I need to tell you before you collect your employment papers and your keys.”
“Yes?” she asked.
“Aleksandr Zidan has asked to see you.”
“Aleksandr Zidan? But isn’t he the ruler of the Kingdom of Gemini? Why does he want to see me?”
It was a curious thing that she felt on hearing that name. A clenching of her gut, a dizzying sway in her mind, and a surging heat in her belly.
But why? Why had her body reacted to a name that was as distant as a cloud?
Aleksandr Zidan was a man she did not know and had never met. She had heard about him though, everyone had. He had inherited the pegasian kingdom three years ago after the death of his father and had then gone on to defeat Generation Four.
Feared for his brutality and strength, respected for his powerful leadership, admired for his determined, intelligent mind, Aleksandr Zidan had become a giant of a man who fought battles to the death, and took no prisoners. He was a stern ruler whom few would ever cross, and who many would gladly follow.
So why did he want to see her?
Dr Jones smiled at her question, and her obvious bewilderment. “Aleksandr Zidan wants to see you because this brand new, state-of-the-art hospital that you are a new employee of, exists only because of him. Aleksandr Zidan oversees everything. He owns everything. He controls everything. Every employment decision is his. Including yours. And whatever Aleksandr Zidan wants, he gets. And it seems that right now, what he wants, is you Miss Malone.”
