Your blue lips // keonheon

“𝕿һᥱ ᑲᥣᥙᥱ 𝖿ᥣᥲmᥱ іs ᥲᥣm᥆s𝗍 g᥆іᥒg ᥆ᥙ𝗍...

𝕿һᥱsᥱ ძᥲᥡs һᥲ᥎ᥱ ᑲᥱᥴ᥆mᥱ s᥆ ᥱ᥊һᥲᥙs𝗍іᥒg.”

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I have always loved the sea.

The waves never asked questions. They simply came and went, as though they understood that some people did not want to talk.

Sometimes, they only wanted to listen—or to speak of the negative feelings buried deep within their hearts.

After school, I took the same path every day. I crossed the main road, then followed the dirt path down until I reached the rocks overlooking the sea.

I never told anyone about this place. To me, it was my own little world.

I would sit on the black rocks, take out my sketchbook and pencil, and begin drawing whatever caught my eye—anything that happened to cross my mind, even creatures born entirely from my imagination.

One spring day, I arrived as usual. I climbed up to my usual spot, facing the waves, but... something was different.

There was a black bag lying near the rocks, with a pile of clothes carelessly thrown beside it.

I stopped in my tracks, staring at them in confusion.

They were the same clothes as my school uniform!!

I approached cautiously. That was when I noticed a small metal rectangle with black letters engraved across it.

A school ID card.

Ahn Keonho.

I lifted my head, searching for its owner, until I heard the sound of water breaking against the shore.

There was a boy swimming far from the beach.

His movements were calm. He moved his arms against the waves, letting them carry him for a moment before swimming again.

I sat down on my usual rock.

I don't know why... but I opened my sketchbook.

My pencil began to move on its own, simple lines at first.

The waves of the sea, then the boy gliding quietly through the water. I could only see his black hair.

For the first time in a long while, I wasn't drawing the sea alone.

When I noticed him pull himself from the water and shake his head, sending droplets scattering from the ends of his hair,

and then begin making his way toward the shore, I quickly closed my sketchbook.

I gathered my things and stood before he could get out of the water.

I don't know why I ran away... Perhaps I simply didn't want him to think I had been watching him.

And from that day on, it became a routine.

Every day after school, I would arrive at the rocks and find the same black bag and clothes waiting in the same place.

I would sit farther away, draw in silence, then leave before he came out of the sea.

We never exchanged a single word. He didn't know I was there, and I had no idea that someone would eventually step into my private little world.

But, strangely...

Keonho's presence gradually became part of my daily routine, as familiar as the sound of the waves and the cries of the seagulls I had grown used to hearing every evening.

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I don't know when I started counting the days I saw him.

I kept telling myself that I went there for the sea, but every time I reached the rocks, my eyes would search for him first among the salty water and rising waves.

One day, when nothing seemed different, I was drawing the same scene I had been drawing for days. This time, however, I decided to add a few little sketches of my own.

I took off my shoes and my school jacket, the one with my name on it.

I stepped into the water for the first time in a while. The waves were cold,

but I wanted to collect a few seashells to draw later.

As I picked up the last shell, I lifted my head to see how far Ahn Keonho had gone.

At that very moment, he was making his way toward the shore.

My eyes widened.

“Not now!”

I hurried out of the water, splashing water over my trousers. I grabbed my bag and sketchbook and ran, stumbling as I went, just like always.

The next morning, I arrived at school a little late.

The guard stopped me at the gate.

“Your ID card.”

I reached for it, checking my jacket, but it wasn't there.

I searched the front pocket, then the side pocket, then frantically went through everything I had.

“Where did it go?”

The guard began scolding me while I tried to remember the last time I had seen it.

Then someone approached.

“Looking for this?”

I turned around.

It was him.

Keonho.

He held up the card from behind my bag, wearing a faint smile.

“I think it got caught here.”

I took it from him and walked into the school before I could even process what had just happened.

For the rest of the day, I kept thinking about those few minutes.

I went to the sea as usual.

I sat on the rock and opened my sketchbook, intending to draw, but I was more lost in thought than I was drawing.

I lifted my head from the page.

Keonho wasn't out in the water.

I stood and began gathering my things, ready to leave.

“Where are you going?”

I turned around sharply.

He was standing behind me, his hair still wet.

He smiled and tilted his head slightly.

“Who are you running away from every day?”

I didn't know what to say. I simply remained seated, staring at him in shock.

He pushed his hair back, then pulled a folded sheet of paper from his jacket pocket.

“This is yours, isn't it?”

It was one of my drawings—the one I had forgotten near the rocks that day.

Heat rushed to my face.

“I liked it.”

He hesitated before extending his hand toward me, his smile growing wider.

“Nice to meet you... Eom Seonghyeon.”

From that day on, I stopped running away.

We began swimming together, racing each other toward the distant rocks.

We walked barefoot along the sand, and sometimes, when the waves grew stronger, I would hold his hand or hug him. He never seemed bothered by it. As time passed, he became even more attached to me.

He loved teasing me and imitating the way I spoke, but I found it funny.

At the end of the day, we would sit together in silence, staring out at the sea.

We didn't need many words.

His presence alone was enough.

“You still have to call me hyung.”

“I don't want to. I'd rather call you Seonghyeon-ah.”

It wasn't long before Keonho knew everyone.

I introduced him to my parents, my friends, and even the owners of the nearby shops.

Keonho was the kind of person who made people feel comfortable around him almost immediately. He was always smiling, and a little shy.

As for me, I felt that his presence made my days lighter.

People even started calling us “the twins”

because some of them thought we looked alike, or perhaps simply because we had become inseparable after meeting each other.

I thought things would stay that way.

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I had always believed that the sea could calm anything.

But that autumn,

even the sea couldn't calm me.

At home, the conversation was no longer about anything except my future.

“You need to start thinking seriously.”

“You can't spend your whole life drawing.”

“Drawing is just a hobby.”

I heard the same words every day.

I didn't hate my family, but I was tired of feeling as though everything I loved had no value.

That evening, I went to the sea, where I had arranged to meet Keonho.

He hadn't arrived yet.

I sat on the rock and took out my sketchbook.

I stared at the blank page for a long time.

But my pencil wouldn't move. It was as though I had lost my passion.

Then I heard footsteps approaching.

“Seonghyeon-ah~”

It was Keonho.

He sat beside me as he always did, then smiled.

“The waves are calm today, aren't they?”

I nodded without looking at him.

Silence settled between us.

After a few moments, he asked quietly,

“Seonghyeon... did something happen?”

I sighed.

“No.”

Of course, he didn't believe me. He never did. I knew how strange I looked whenever I suddenly became quiet and spent hours lost in thought.

“You've been different these past few days.”

I quickly closed my sketchbook.

“I said it's nothing, Keonho!”

My voice came out louder than I intended.

Silence fell again.

Keonho lowered his gaze to the sand.

“If you need some time... I'll leave you alone.”

He stood quietly.

“See you tomorrow.”

I watched him walk away while I remained sitting where I was.

I wanted to call him back. I wanted him to stay close.

But the words remained caught in my throat.

From that day on, the distance between us began to grow.

I stopped waiting for him in the mornings.

I would leave home early and walk to school alone.

And whenever we met at the gate, I would give him nothing more than a small smile.

Then we would walk in different directions, as though we were nothing more than classmates.

I don't know... I was simply ashamed of myself and the way I had treated him.

After the bell rang, I headed toward my classroom. Keonho caught up with me in the hallway.

“Seonghyeon-ah.”

I stopped.

He looked at me for a moment.

“Did I do something that upset you? Did I bother you?”

I shook my head.

“No.”

“Then why... why don't you wait for me in the morning anymore?”

I looked away. I hated seeing that wounded look in his eyes.

I hated being close to him while I was acting this way.

I wanted to say, Keonho, I don't want to be close to you right now. I'm afraid I'll end up taking my anger out on you.

But I didn't.

“I don't know... I woke up early today, so I came early.”

That was the truth.

I didn't know how to explain what was happening inside me,

or how to tell him that I was afraid I would take my anger out on him.

“Why have you started treating me like this, Seonghyeon?”

One of his friends passed by and called out to him, tugging him by the hand, but Keonho remained where he was for a moment, looking at me as though he were hurt, as though he couldn't understand.

“I'm sorry... I'll talk to you later.”

I left Keonho standing behind me.

When I turned around just before entering the classroom,

he was still looking at me, as if he were trying to understand when the distance between us had grown this wide.

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Winter came, and with it, the sea changed.

The waves were no longer as calm as they had been.

Even the sky seemed heavier.

One day, my father came into my room.

He stood by the door for a moment.

“How about we go out tomorrow? You, me, and your sister... We could go fishing for a while.”

He smiled as he waited for my answer. It was one of his attempts to make up with me after our serious argument.

I agreed immediately.

Maybe I really needed to get away from everything, clear my mind, and start over.

“You can invite your twin friend too.”

He winked at the end of his sentence, making me smile faintly.

“I think he'll be busy.”

Sorry, Keonho.

Not today. Maybe next time.

I took my sketchbook with me and went out on the boat.

At first, the sea was calm.

But after a few hours, clouds began gathering overhead.

The wind grew stronger, and then the rain began to fall.

“Not exactly a good time for rain.”

My father looked up at the sky with concern.

“Unfortunately, we'll have to cancel our trip.”

On our way back, we passed by the beach. Police cars were parked there, and a crowd had gathered near the water.

My father slowed the car to see what was happening.

We arrived home before evening.

I was still taking off my wet jacket, with my little sister beside me complaining about the weather that had ruined our trip,

when I heard someone knocking frantically on the door.

It was Keonho's mother.

Her breathing was uneven.

“Is Keonho here?”

My mother shook her head.

“No... but he came around noon. I told him Seonghyeon wasn't home and that he could wait for him, but he left.”

Her expression changed.

“I've looked for him everywhere...”

She whispered the words before turning and hurrying away.

I stared at the door in silence, feeling something heavy settle in my chest.

My mother turned to me.

“Seonghyeon... did he ever tell you if he was having problems with his family? Or... is there somewhere he might have gone?”

I slowly shook my head.

“I don't know...”

He had never talked about his family or mentioned having any problems.

I sat in front of the television with my little sister. I wasn't paying attention to what was playing.

All I could think about was him.

Then I heard my father speaking from the kitchen.

“The waves were crazy today... I think they found something near the sea.”

The sea?

I froze.

Without a word, I stood and ran toward the door, ignoring my parents calling after me.

I ran as fast as I could until I reached the beach.

How could I have forgotten this?

How could I have ignored it, as though it weren't the one place he always went?

The police cars were still there.

I lifted my head and saw them carrying a body covered in a white sheet.

The world stopped.

I could no longer hear anything.

“Ahn Keonho...”

I whispered his name without realizing it, unable to believe what I was seeing. Even my limbs had gone numb.

Then...

Someone was sitting quietly, his knees drawn to his chest as he stared out at the sea.

His hair was still wet, and his lips had turned a deep, dark blue.

His gaze never left the waves crashing violently against the rocks.

I lifted my head sharply.

Keonho!

He stood when he saw me.

I ran toward him, then stopped a short distance away.

He stared at me, his eyes dull, his face devoid of expression.

“Seonghyeon... the waves are frightening today, aren't they?”

My lips trembled, and I ran toward him again.

I threw myself into his arms and held him tightly.

I clung to him, crying harder than I ever had before.

“I'm sorry...”

My voice broke.

“I'm sorry I stayed away from you... I left you alone...”

The words came out between my sobs, their echoes carrying through the rocks.

He said nothing.

All he did was wrap his arms around me and hold me in silence.

And behind us,

the sea continued sending its raging waves toward the shore,

as though it had never stopped waiting for us to return to the place where it all began.