Three best friends

Dissociative Identity Disorder is characterized by the presence of two or more distinct personality states or identities, often resulting from severe trauma during early childhood. Managing DID requires a comprehensive understanding of the disorder, including its origins and effects on daily life.

Some kids have imaginary best friends; on the other hand, I live with three of the best and worst kinds of friends. I don't speak for the community of D.I.D., but rather than quietly living with this, it would be the equivalent of coming out of the closet. For a very long time, I've ignored all the signs and even tried to hide it from everyone. So I'm coming out of the shadows and writing this as a way to share my experience and a lot of the goings-on that are happening in my head.

Sure, this is going to be the most random piece of literature, and who knows what happens with this. I can't pinpoint exactly what my catalyst moment was that created them. I've got plenty of moments that could have created them. This isn't going to be one of those books where you, the reader, are going to get that clear answer. This is more of a current daily life- what it's like and getting to know these crazy lunatics, just like I do.

Let's start with introductions; I, Bobby, am the host. If you don't understand that, it's ok. Basically, I am the one you will interact with the most. I'm like the boss of a small business; I have a supervisor and employees helping me get through life. There's Lilith or Lilly, depending on who you are in my life. Lilith is my mom figure; she keeps me on track with daily life activities. Then there's my unhinged alter, Faye. There is no explanation for her, and honestly, I call her a vibe. Whether having the most unhinged friend who says things that could either get me punched in the face or have your drink spray out of your nose. Finally, Mr. Grouchy Pants, Blu, who is my protector. Break a boundary one too many times, and he pops up. He kind of reminds me of Squall from Final Fantasy 8, who's a loner and doesn't want to be a part of anything. I like to think of him as the guy who crashes on your couch and never leaves.

While growing up, I spent many years hanging out with them rather than other people. Friends were hard to have, especially with ADHD and a slice of Autism. I grew up in the most chaotic household; I didn't have that perfect TV family you always watched. I had a mom who had a pretty traumatic life and self-medicated mostly with alcohol and drugs. A father who worked all the time just to keep a roof over our heads. I didn't really have a relationship with him except for when I was in trouble. My sister was more of a mom figure and caretaker for our mom and me. Not much more to say on that; most of the time it was like living with strangers.

The friends that I did have always wanted my life because I was given so much freedom. The rules of the house were pretty simple to follow. Be respectful, help out around the house, and if you're going to party, do it at home. Meaning, if you're going to drink or do drugs, then do them at home. Don't get arrested for being an idiot out in public. That rule did apply to friends, since they didn't want to see them get in trouble. So you can imagine once friends started realizing my house was a safe place where almost anything goes got pretty popular.

Sitting at the ripe age of 41 right now, as I am writing this, I have a very limited supply of friends. I struggle with finding friends, mostly because I never know if I'm going to be the one out being a member of society or if I have one of the alters taking the wheel. So let's get this out of the way. I've had a few relationships that were wrong, misleading, and abusive. I even had a relationship with another person who had alters too. After that relationship-shit show, my alters prefer to take a back seat when interacting with people. I'm not a circus act that I can't force them out and perform for you. It doesn't work like that. Think of them as people living in an apartment complex that you see from time to time collecting their mail. Sometimes it's subtle little clues, different body language, movements, and they don't always voice regulate because they want that privacy.

I'm going to give you the guide for whatever this is that I'm currently writing. I feel like a movie script is probably the easiest way to describe how you'll be able to follow all of this. For me, it's a normal thing, but for you, this would look like pure madness. So for an altar, I'll make sure it looks like this (Faye - How do we know if vampires burst into flames if they enter a church. Oh, now I understand Ash Wednesday. Lilith - That's not how that works. Faye - Do you work at a church and know exactly where they get all that ash from? I'm going to need to see their shipping receipts, and I'll grab my bubble pipe and investigate.) Yes, that's a real conversation that goes on in my head on a daily basis. It's tiring and mostly amusing.

Faye - So buckle up and let's get some hot chocolate and some grub because you're about to enter the most chaotic head. Also, if you're feeling up to it, we could always rob a Build-A-Bear and swim in the fluff!