~1~ Research, Reuse, Recycle
It was a day like any other. That is, if you consider making it out of a crumbling Lighthouse a typical day like any other. Dr. Samwane Bastailk brushed a patch of dust off of his new trench coat. As he stood in a new pair of white sneakers, he undressed a plastic-wrapped cigar from his breast-pocket.
He looked at the landscape in front of him as he put a hand on his partner beside him. His partner, that is, the one and only Detective Alphonse Kazinty. On the other side of Bastailk, however, two awkward Revellichs waved at them. Bastailk nodded over, inviting them to join in on a big group hug.
Kazinty, Kanako, Kevros, and Ononzo huddled around Dr. Bastailk, joining hands. Kevros looked up from their group hug, making sure they were alone by the beachy resort. As the Ritch Hotel had toppled down into a dusty disaster a few hours ago, everyone had evacuated.
Helicopters had hovered over the scene too, picking up support beams and searching for survivors. As of now, they had all gone back to report the disaster… of mysteriously zero casualties. Despite the gloom and doom, however, Kevros just grinned a hooded and cheeky grin.
Suddenly, Kevros’s grin grew crazed and wide. “I can’t believe we did all that! How cool was that? Ononzo, did ya even see me? Huh? Did ya, pal?”
As Ononzo sighed, Bastailk cackled with his rasp. “Jesus, he’s quite the man’s man, eh?”
“You’ve got no idea. Gets super jealous whenever I bring up a friend of ours from Revarrante District.” Ononzo stepped back, clearing his throat. “Malieos--”
“Because Malieos is a cheapskate! Did you know that the last time we had a celebration for Lord Carrehlor taking over Earth #722, he insisted -- against Lady Kalish’s best wishes -- to get the plastic tapers out, instead of the Blood Wax?” Kevros pulled at the ends of his hair comically.
Bastailk pursed his lips. “A minimalist, I see. Hm. Well, I’m sure that this Malieos and I could get along pretty well.”
“Eh, who knows, honestly? He’s stuck his neck out for me tons of times. Got a wide figure, broad shoulders, and the like. Likes to save people’s skins. But… he’s kind of a hard read.” Ononzo looked down at the sand of the beach. “Told me once or twice he has a thing for kids.”
“Wait, what?” Kazinty turned, glaring. “Easy now, bub. I’m still a cop, I’ll have ya know.”
Confused, Ononzo put his hands up. “Hey, whoa! No, I meant… he’s protective. And he likes to teach and shit. Ugh, we need to get you some weed, man. You’re all high-strung over nothin’. Unless… did I word that wrong?”
Bastailk raised his brow. “In our line of work… yes. But no harm, no foul.”
Kanako swiftly pulled Kazinty to the side. In her green and Vietnamese dress, she laced her fingers between his. She twirled him around and got him to land perfectly over the salty shores of Elmwood Beach.
She smiled as bright as a sun just then, pushing her fingertips into her dimples. Quickly, she pulled out a satchel that smelled of patchouli, potpourri, and orchid. She put it up to Kazinty’s nose.
The detective’s forehead creased as he sniffed the substance. He brought his nose further into it, and a radical sensation of calm traveled down into his lungs. He grabbed at the satchel just then, sticking his fingers into its clothy mouth. He stretched it open and he peered at the dried herbs. His gaze darted all around inside the bag, inspecting the herbaceous contents.
“I mean, goodness gracious, detective! At least take that satchel out to dinner before you stretch it open so forcefully.” Kanako teased.
Detective Kazinty rolled his eyes. “To be frank, even if this was weed, I’m not sure who I’d report it to. Bastailk?” He turned to the cigar-smoking witchdoctor.
“That’s my name.” Bastailk turned around after laughing with Kevros and Ononzo.
Kazinty’s gaze fell to the sand. “That man you met in that room. Before the Lighthouse exploded… and everything above it… you spoke with a man. That man was… Howard. That was Howard Ritch, wasn’t it?”
Bastailk just nodded.
Kazinty shoved his hands into his pockets, shaking some sand off of his vest. “I thought as much. Then that means--”
“Look,” Bastailk walked up to the detective. He put a hand on his shoulder, searching the detective’s dark and cynical eyes. “It doesn’t matter what it meant. We still have a job to do. All of us. Lord knows Kevros and Ononzo won’t be going to any Revellich Banquets anytime soon. They kinda turned coat. And as for you? Looks like you got yourself a hot date tonight. Do the girl a favor and swap into somethin’ nice, eh?”
Turning, Kazinty furrowed his brow at Kanako. “What? But I don’t under--”
Kanako readjusted her hair so that instead of a middle-part, it fell to the right side with a lush thickness. She had just ended a conversation with a static voice over her burner flip phone. She looked back at the detective with a sultry grin. She applied a layer of dark red lipstick to her lips. With a step forward, she planted a quick kiss on the detective’s cheek, leaving a heavy red spot.
“Just made some Reservations tonight at 7PM at the Elmwood Bark & Vine. A winery that serves… gourmet steak. I heard that American men just love steak. And I’ve got some cash to spare. Care to humor me? We can talk about music.”
At this, Bastailk stood further among the other two Revellichs. “You two have fun now! And remember, no hickeys.”
“Bastailk, you son of a bitch.” Kazinty gruffly chuckled, sighing.
Ononzo chuckled for a little bit longer. Kevros, meanwhile, reeled back in a fit of giddy laughter like a hyena. He wiped a tear from his eye as Bastailk returned to their inner circle. Kevros put a hand to his stomach as a loud gurgle echoed across the shoreline of the beach. Ononzo pointed and gave a challenging laugh, until his own stomach roared.
“D-- Damn it.” Ononzo fell to his knees. “B-- Blood. I need blood.”
Bastailk looked over the hungry Revellichs, his hands in his pockets. “That ya do, my fangy, fecund friends. That ya do. Here, I’ll see if I can make ya a synthetic back at my house. You’re more than welcome to come along if ya like. Just don’t touch anything in my room. The kitchen is free-frange, though.”
Ononzo slowly got to his feet, his gaze going dark. “No, um, if it’s alright with you two, I’m actually gonna go head out on my own. To another planet in the multiverse. I’ll find a Lighthouse somewhere around here. There’s gotta be another one. We are in Massachusetts, after all. Home of Lighthouses. Take a portal through the Undertow and then back out into a parallel Earth.”
Bastailk looked at Kevros.
Kevros looked at Bastailk, shrugging.
“I promise, I’ll be back soon.” Ononzo waved a farewell, unleashed his wings, and flew away.
As a rough set of waves scraped against the shore, Kevros turned to Bastailk. “So, what’s your next course of action, doctor? You seem like the man who always has a plan. I doubt all of those Lesser Revellichs really died underneath that collapse. They probably healed and fled. Even if Kanako gave them some serious acupuncture.”
Bastailk grinned. “To be honest, no offense to you, but I’ve been looking for a cure. For a subset of vampirics known as Cursed-Bloods. It’s a long, long story, but… I was hoping to have that plan incidentally develop with its own serendipities around here somewhere. Ya know, see where the winds take me? Unfortunately, it seems I have to tell her that she’s made more progress than me at this point.”
“‘Her’? Who is ‘her’?” Kevros whispered. “Who is this ‘her’ of which you speak?”
As he brought a more modern smartphone up to his ear, Bastailk maintained eye contact with Kevros while on the phone. After a couple of rings, a rough breeze cut through the static on the other line. There was this strange din of two girls carrying on and laughing in the background. One of them had a slightly deeper voice, while the other spoke in a husky whisper. Kevros continued to looked confused.
“H-- Hello?” A British girl’s voice cut through on the other line.
“Yes, Mina? Yes. Well, it looks like you win this round. I haven’t found any meaningful progress on how to cure Cursed-Bloods.”
“HAH! Jani, get a load of this! I just beat Bastailk at something for once in his miserably long life! Do you know what this means? Hey, Sammy Bass?” The girl’s voice, Mina’s, went to a low whisper. She spoke in a taunting voice. “Do ya reckon what this means?”
Bastailk closed his eyes, facepalming. “Yes?”
“You have to follow through on our deal! If you recall, I demanded the--”
“Yes, yes, yes. A $1000 Gift Card to Barnabus’s Fish & Grill. Your mother’s favorite.” The doctor ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it up. “I’ll get on that right away. After I see how much money I have in each bank. Ya know what they say about eggs and baskets and all.”
“Suck it! ’Cuz Jani and I found an ‘Apopsoduction’ recipe, but only for certain Blood Types. So, yeah, um, I’m better than you? I guess? In, like, every way?” The young woman then cackled and clicked off the call.
Bastailk then blinked profusely at Kevros, sighing. “That’s my god-daughter for ya. Tell me, Kevros, have you ever met a… Mina Harker… before?”
________
Lahwin and Drusilla tore across a shadowy forest on Earth #612. Their Interdimensional Traveling Device, known as the Dianemes, started to vanish into the background. Inside, Regen, Lynar, Liana, and Mikaiah watched through one of the Slider Portals as Lahwin and Drusilla hacked through some thorny thickets. Regen watched on with tight lips as Lynar hugged her from behind. His arms stilled her nervous heartbeat.
“I just got back, and Drusilla’s now trying to prove herself, now?” Regen said. She looked into the Slider Portal’s screen with worry. She leaned back into Lynar’s embrace, however. “Ugh, well, at least I got a good hug out of it. Drusilla’s a good hugger. You could learn from her, Lynar.”
Liana raised her hand, sitting by the control panel. “Um, how do you think I felt when you went off and got your own Weather Powers?”
But at this, Lynar just raised his brow. “Um, shut up, ’kay? This is obviously different, or… whatever. I mean, right, Regs?”
Regen just watched the screen, preoccupied. “I just don’t want her to feel like she has to push herself for us. Drusilla’s fine just the way she is.”
Liana huffed. “And I agree with that, but I didn’t want to impose. Especially not on Lahwin. Wherever Drusilla goes, he goes.”
“Hey, that’s how it oughtta be.” Lynar sat behind Regen. Regen now wore a dark blue jacket over a white T-Shirt. Meanwhile, Lynar had his own green jacket off, sitting in just a black T-Shirt himself. “Ain’t that right, Mikaiah? You know!”
Mikaiah’s cheeks reddened. “Um--”
“Look, all I’m saying is, you two just gotta be a little quieter sometimes. I didn’t need to hear all that finger action last night.” Lynar winked. “It’s an honor and a privilege to hit it, man, I get it, even if she makes you do it three times a day, but… could you use a spell to soundproof--”
“Alright! Funny!” Liana stood up, her face as red as a tomato. “I have needs, damn it!”
Back in the forest, a hungry pack of Harliegrens from the Undertow flapped their wings. They were creatures as green as the leaves of trees. They had wings made of rotten twigs, thorns, and feathers. They had hair of hot pink, but their eyes blinked like a goat’s. As the Harliegrens let out a siren-like wail, Lahwin just expanded his boomerangs in size.
Beside him, Drusilla hopped onto one of them. With a fierce glide forward, she stabbed her sword into the first Harliegren. As it fell into her chest, Drusilla then cut at its wing. It reached a hand out, screaming with a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth. The creature tossed its head to Drusilla, but Drusilla quickly grabbed it by its neck and protruded her own fangs.
“You’re not the only one who can bite.” Drusilla hissed. She sank her fangs into the beast, tearing its green flesh apart. As its blood splattered outward, Drusilla drank a bit of it down. “Mmm! Protein! And vegan! Sort of?”
Lahwin grinned, stabbing his boomerang into another Harliegren. “Holy shit, I want her to do that to me so bad.”
As a third Harliegren flew up from a shadowy patch of deciduous trees, Drusilla clawed its chest. Its rotten feathers floated up into the air, softly falling back down over Drusilla’s head. She softly picked a few of them off, then bit at the Harliegren’s rib.
As the beast shook her around some, she held on tight with her jaw. Even as the beast screamed and wailed like a banshee, Drusilla just dug her bite deeper into its bones. As the blood drained from its ribs, Drusilla flipped back. She wiped the excess off her chin.
“I think I’m doin’ pretty good here, babe!” Drusilla called out.
Lahwin, in his white jacket, beheaded another Harliegren. “We need to coordinate our attacks more often, though. That was your goal, wasn’t it?”
Frowning, Drusilla’s shoulders sagged. “I mean, yes. Hoping you’d say you were proud of me! My mistake for thinking otherwise.”
“Holy crap, you’re so prissy!” Lahwin rolled his eyes, twirling his two forefingers. As he did this, his two boomerangs spun around each other faster and faster. They were like two stars in outer space. A fierce breeze of white energy blew through the forest. “After this next attack, I have an idea.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, babe! What if I let you use one of my boomerangs from now on?”
“Y-- You’d do that?” Drusilla asked, whipping around. Among the dead Harliegrens, she twirled Lahwin around by his shoulders. As any of the remaining creatures touched Lahwin’s strange Boomerang Star, they just burned right to a crisp. “Lahwin, I always thought you were overprotective of your boomerangs, and--”
“My boomerangs are like extensions of me. I know that, but… Druse, if this is what it takes to get you to be stronger--”
Suddenly, Drusilla, even as she had her hands over Lahwin’s hips, snapped her fingers in realization. “Wait! Ugh. That’s it! Like I said last night, I know a guy.”
“You know a guy?”
“His name’s Bastailk. Let me just go with it already. We just need to visit him. I should’ve done this from the start. Hang on, I know where he is!”
As she sprinted back to the Dianemes, Drusilla banged on its invisible doors. In the next second, her four other friends uncloaked the ship from its hiding spot. Lynar stepped out first, confused. Regen popped out next, her eyes wide and happy. She put her hands out, and Drusilla quickly jumped into her embrace. As the two spun around, Regen then let her walk over to the Slider Portals. Liana scrunched her nose in confusion.
“Hey, um, I know an Earth we can go to. It’s for my and Lahwin’s sake.” Drusilla said, pressing a series of levers by the portals’ screens. The vision of it focused over a beach with a man in a trenchcoat and a Revellich with long and red wings. “Lahwin? We’re going here, next.”
“Aye-Aye, princess!” Lahwin saluted.
And as the Dianemes set off on its next course…
… worlds threatened to collide once again.
________
