WHY WE STOP TALKING

**WHY WE STOPPED TALKING: 7 Conversations To Save Your Relationship Before Silence destroy It.

#1   4 KILLERS OF COMMUNICATION

Every marriage does not die from one big fight. It dies from small daily habits that kill communication slowly.

KILLER 1: The Phone in Between

At night in the bedroom you ask him, "How was work?" He answers, "Fine" without looking up from his phone. He's also talking about his day at work, she is scrolling on social media and reply with "Hmm, hmm."

When you choose the phone over the person in front of you, you are saying, "This screen is more important than you." After months of divided attention your partner stops trying.*Relationship starts falling.

Start fixing things back * When your partner talks, put the phone face down. Look at their eyes. It is a small act, but it means, "You matter."

KILLER 2: Assuming Instead of Asking

Wife comes home quiet. Husband assumes she is angry with him. So he becomes cold. In reality, she is just tired from work. But because he assumed, he created a fight that was not there.

Most fights in marriage start not from what happened, but from what we assumed happened.

Start fixing things back *Replace assumption with one question: "You seem quiet, is everything okay or are you just tired?" One question can save one night of malice.

KILLER 3: Bringing the Past into the Present

He forgot to buy bread today. She says, You always forget. Just like you forgot my birthday in 2023 and you forgot to call my mother last month.

When you bring old wounds into a new small issue, your partner feels hopeless. "No matter what I do now, she will never forgive the past." So he stops trying to fix it because he knows she can't be satisfied.

Start fixing things today * Fight about only today. One issue at a time. Learn to resolve matter and forget about it. If you want to discuss birthday, discuss it on its own day, not inside bills argument.

KILLER 4: Silent Treatment as Punishment**

"I will not talk to him for 3 days so he learns lesson."

Silence is not maturity. Silence is punishment. And punishment does not teach love, it teaches fear. When you use silence, your partner learns to be afraid of you, not close to you. HE/She assume if I say something there might be issue, I should just keep quiet. Children watching also learn that love means punishing with silence.

God words; Always speak with kindness, even when angry. The best of a man is not when he's angry and shows it, BUT when he's angry and decides to calm down. Kind speech is worship.

Start fixing things * If you are too angry to talk, say it: "I am very angry right now, I need 30 minutes to calm down, so you don't misunderstand me then, I will come and we will talk about it ." That is not silence, that is honesty. It gives respect.

If you saw yourself in any of these 4 killers, don't feel guilty. Just note the mistake, change it a step everday counts.