What is your opinion?
Very tense
"Loved the mix of zombies and ghosts and the many moments were I felt the knot in my stomach! The writing was fast paced, witty and set the scene perfectly and I felt genuine fear and tension when they peered into the dark! And it has raised a very poignant problem - death by zombie or ghost? Decisions, decisions!"
Great concept.
"I read the opening three times as in some instances I became confused by the flow. The basic structure is good but IMO more speech could tak this tale from okay to good, I needs cutting and rewriting to tighten the tension/action.. You have all the components you need. Speech tags should in most cases be said or asked. IE if you say spoke quietly why not use whispered. but said is an invisible word to a reader. Overall this has the potential to grab the reader and drag them in. Watch your telling and showing. In most cases I delete any word ending in LY look at these when they are removed and you'll see the plot tightens. Remove filter words for a stronger narrative. I wish you well with this."
