Chapter 1
She was the first thing I saw in the library. She was sitting down at a table, with two other strangers. I didn’t know anyone, but I did know we were all there for the same reason. I, with my eternal fear of pretty girls, sat down at a different table. I glanced over as I took my seat and we locked eyes momentarily, then I casually scanned the rest of the room. I did this several times throughout the presentation; partially to alleviate my drooling boredom, and partially to once again “scan” the room. Somehow, without fail, I paused a little longer on her every time. You see, she wasn’t normal, I could tell. She had this light on her face that just invited happiness. The light was so bright that almost nobody could refrain from a little jubilant feedback. It is for this reason I presume she wears her oh so aptly nerdy transition lenses: to keep this light from hurting her delicate brown eyes. It was all from a far I gathered this insight—and thank god, else she would’ve noticed my heart beating out of my chest screaming at me to speak to her. Of course though, I didn’t.
Some time passed, we were released from the initial meeting, and I settled in to my room and unpacked some bags then wham, its only noon. I didn’t have any more commitments for another couple hours, not so bad for the first day. I decided to experience freedom on the property while I had it and it led me to a much-needed workout. It was then I next saw her at the gym on campus; which certainly did not help extinguish any flame still burning within me from earlier. In fact the flame grew so much as to belch out of me in the form of a perfectly casual introduction. She of course reciprocated while I, casually, melted. I hadn’t noticed before how perfectly placed her smile was beneath her eyes. How small, yet fierce of a person I was looking at. I shook her hand (always cordial) and all in a moment I felt a flood of emotions a normal person would take a couple of months to accumulate for another. But I wasn’t normal, and, while rarely, always fell hard. It was then I fell in love with her, but I didn’t know that in the moment. In fact I didn’t know it for a good bit of time, not soon enough.
The two-week internship went on, as planned, and our love flourished, as unplanned--But come on who really has a plan for these kinds of things anyway, I mean I certainly did not. I had spent enough time already fevering over a girl, who wound up being the sole reason I vowed never to date again. Kind of a funny story actually, but I shall not go into it.
It seemed everyday of the two weeks that passed I cared a little bit less about the real reason I was there, and a little bit more about her. Her name was Annabel, but she went by Anna. I always tended to call her Annabel because I wanted her to know exactly whom it was when I called out to her. We would do our work during the day, and we would be with each other at night. Our days consisted of long packed schedules with seldom interaction except at meals and passing by each other. This internship was meant to be strictly business, which made things difficult during the day. She always had iron will when we encountered one another, which wasn’t at all the case for me. I would be foolishly trying to get a rise from her, a hug, a small-unseen kiss, heck maybe even just a smile; She never cracked, not once. This only made me want her more when we were alone. I spent a lot of time with her. During the nights we’d either be alone or with our friends we had met tucked away somewhere secret drinking. We had formed a great little routine there; work, get off, shower (unfortunately… not together), eat, then just relax usually to the tune of five or six beers. It was us two and our small group of six. Her and I, our foreigner Erikur, whom obviously we called Erik, the muscle of the group, Stacey, and the twins River and Saul Gordon. We spent a lot of time talking and drinking, because there wasn’t much else to do, so we got pretty close pretty fast.
Days went by slow, nights went by slower, but somehow those two weeks disappeared in a matter of seconds when I watched Annabel drive away. It was that morning my mind began to shutter; “do I really love this girl? Do I tell her if I do? Even if I don’t should I say it anyway?” these questions and many more rattled my being. I doubted my love for her (not because I had doubts, but because I was very afraid by the fact that I did love her.) We shared one last hug, one not easy to forget, and then I fumbled my car door open. I drove off slowly with little focus on the road, and my eyes fixated on her. It was at that moment I realized I should’ve said it. I should’ve told her the truth and stopped denying it. Whether I felt it for sure or not I should have said it because now I realize I did love her… I do love her.
