CHAPTER 1
My Girl
I met Maya when I was thirteen. She was twelve, and we went to the same school, just in different year groups. I don’t even remember the exact moment I started liking her. I just know that, somehow, I was already crazy about this girl before I even understood what I was feeling.
Maya had this annoying habit of coming to my class just to disturb me. She’d walk in, find me, and immediately start calling me her girl. “Hi, my girl.” “Abeg, leave me.” “You’re my girl.” “I’m not your girl.” And she’d laugh because she knew I didn’t actually mean it. I always acted like she was getting on my nerves, but honestly, I loved when she came around. I just didn’t know what to do with the fact that I liked her.
At that age, I genuinely thought liking girls was demonic. So anytime I caught myself thinking about her a little too much, I’d just convince myself it was the devil trying to tempt me. Problem solved. Except it wasn’t.
I was already possessive of her too, which makes absolutely no sense now that I think about it. She wasn’t my girlfriend. I didn’t even admit to myself that I wanted her. Yet somehow, I still didn’t like seeing her too close to other people. I had no right whatsoever, but thirteen-year-old me didn’t care about rights. She was just... mine. At least in my head.
A few years later, when I was in a higher class, I got to school unusually early one morning. The classroom was practically empty, and for once I had some peace. Then Maya came in. We started talking, just the two of us. I don’t even remember what the conversation was about anymore. I just remember sitting there with her and suddenly thinking, I want to kiss her.
My stomach did that stupid butterfly thing, and immediately my brain went, God, what is this rubbish thought inside school?
I shut it down immediately. There was no way I was going to entertain that thought. I had already convinced myself that liking girls was wrong, so there was absolutely no way I was going to start thinking about kissing one of them.
After that day, I started avoiding her. I don’t know exactly what she thought, but she noticed. Eventually, she stopped coming around as much and gave me space. I never explained myself. I just carried on with my life until I eventually graduated. Then, after I left school, we started talking again.
By that time, things were different. I had already started dating girls, so I wasn’t as confused about myself anymore. There was a point where I started wondering about Maya in a way I couldn’t quite explain. I wanted to know if she liked girls, but I was too scared to ask her directly. So instead, I found a way to bring up the topic without making my intention obvious, Somehow, the conversation got there, and she told me she did.
I was way too happy about that information.
We started flirting again after that. It was mostly jokes at first. I’d tell her she should hurry up and finish her exams so I could finally “take my property.” Then I’d act responsible and say I didn’t want to be a distraction because she needed to focus on school. She’d tell me she didn’t mind, and we’d continue flirting like it was nothing.
Eventually, it stopped feeling like a joke. We talked about it properly one day, and somehow, just like that, we started dating. I still find it funny when I think about how it happened. There was no big confession, no dramatic moment, nothing you would expect from a love story. It was just two girls who had been circling around each other for years finally deciding to stop pretending. And I was happy. Really happy.
Everything was good at first. We talked, joked around, annoyed each other, made up, and did all the little things couples do. I got more attached to her every day without even realizing it. I kept falling for her harder and harder, and the more I knew her, the more I wanted her around.
Then I went to her school one day because I supposedly wanted to read for an exam I retook that year. I couldn’t concentrate at home, so I told myself going there would help me study. Looking back, I know damn well I mostly wanted to see her.
We ended up in one of the science labs, talking instead of studying, and she kissed me. One thing led to another, and suddenly my exam was the last thing on my mind.
That was us.
It was messy, childish, sweet and sometimes ridiculous, but it was ours. And for a while, I genuinely thought that was how it would stay. I didn’t know yet that I was falling into something I wouldn’t know how to climb out of. I just knew I loved her. And I loved her more every day.
