Aks-e-Gumnaam

Waqt ki dairy mein kuch safhay aise hote hain jin par na koi tarikh darj hoti hai, na din, aur na hi pedaish ka makhsoos lamha. Main bhi ek aisi hi larki thi. Is duniya mein kab aayi, kis tarikh ko aayi, aur mera asal mazhab kya tha—yeh sab sawal ek gehray kohray mein ghum the. Agar mere paas apni koi pehchan thi, to wo sirf mera naam tha: Sana. Ek aisa naam, jise duniya mujhe pukarne ke liye istemal karti thi. Baap kaun tha? Kaisa dikhta tha? Mera us se kya nata tha? Kuch maloom nahi tha.

Zindagi ki pehli dhoop aur chhaon main ne apni nani ke aangan mein dekhi. Wo ek chota sa gaon tha, jahan main ne apni nani, ek mamu, ek khala aur do naniyon (nani ki behen) ke saye mein hosh sambhala. Aath saal tak main us mitti ki khushboo aur apno ke narm rawaiyon mein palti rahi. Mujhe bas itna maloom tha ke meri maa Lahore mein kaam karti hain, aur wo har mahine ek baar mujh se milne us aangan mein aati thin.

Jab main aath saal ki hui, to school ke dakhla form par pehli daur ek naya lafz mere naam ke sath jura—"Sana Irshad". Irshad... mere baap ka naam. Mujhe baap to na mila, par us ka naam ek thappe ki tarah mere sath jor diya gaya.

Phir ek din, meri zindagi ka wo safeenah hamesha ke liye badal gaya. Meri maa mujhe apne sath gaon se door, Lahore le aayin. Wo raat ka waqt tha jab main ne pehli baar us anjan shehar ki tang aur toti-foti galion mein paon rakha. Wo shehar mere liye bilkul anjana tha, aur us ke andhere aanchal mein mere liye kya kuch chupa tha, main us masoomiyat mein samajh hi nahi sakti thi.

Lahore aakar mujhe pata chala ke meri maa ne dosri shadi kar li hai. Ek masoom bache ke liye dosri shadi ke maani kya hote hain? Kuch bhi nahi. Main ne us ghar mein maujood ek anjan shakhs ko 'papa' kehna shuru kar diya. Mujhe kya maloom tha ke jis shakhs ko main baap ka darja de rahi hoon, wo aane wale dinon mein mujhe baap ke muqaddas rishte ka wo khofnak sabaq sikhaye ga jo koi dushman bhi nahi sikhata. Wo baap nahi, ek shaitan tha jo us ghar mein chupa baitha tha.

Jab meri umar barah saal hui, to us shaitan ne apni niyat zahir ki. Ek din us ne mujh se kaha, "Tum mujhe pasand ho." Main, jo abhi bachpan ki dehleez par thi, us baat ki gehrai aur gandagi ko samajh hi na saki. Main ne masoomiyat se jawab diya, "Papa, main bhi aap ko pasand karti hoon." Lekin mujhe us ki un aakhon ka khofnak maqsad maloom nahi tha.

Ek din jab us ne mujhe chuna (touch kiya), to meri rooh kaanp uthi. Wo nishaniyan, wo chuna ek baap ka nahi tha. Main ne ghabra kar us se kaha, "Mujhe yeh acha nahi laga papa, aap yeh kya kar rahe ho?"

Main ne darr kar yeh baat apni maa ko batayi, lekin unhon ne meri baat ko ansuna kar diya, jaise kuch hua hi na ho. Maa ki is khamoshi ne us shaitan ke honsle aur buland kar diye. Us ne mujhe darana aur dhamkana shuru kar diya. Main ghar mein kisi se bhi baat karti, to wo mujh par chillane lagta, taake main hamesha khauf ke saye mein jiyun aur meri sansen sookhi rahein.

Lekin andhera chahe jitna gehra ho, subah ki pehli kiran kahin na kahin se phootti hai. Meri zindagi mein bhi ek aisi hi kiran aayi. Meri maa ki ek saheli, ek anti, jinhein main bachpan se ek do baar mil chuki thi, wo hamare ghar aayin. Ek din phantom chat par baithi thin, to us shaitan ne hamesha ki tarah mujh par chilana aur dantna shuru kiya. Magar us din khamoshi toot gayi. Us aurat ne aage barh kar meri dhaal banne ka faisla kiya. Us ne us shaitan ke samne khray hokar zor se kaha, "Tum ne is bachi ki jaan kyon sookha rakhi hai? Is par is tarah kyon chillate ho?"

Yeh pehli awaz thi jo mere haq mein uthi thi. Aur yehi wo din tha, jab mujhe pehli baar ehsaas hua ke khoon ka rishta kya hota hai aur sachi pehchan kaise milti hai...