What is your opinion?
Cry of Destiny
"Again, I read the first chapter only, but I'm beyond impressed. The emotions, the thoughts, the dialogues... they were ingenious! It was like you literally stood in Sky's shoes and walked around in them for a long time before you actually started writing down this story. Maybe you did, I don't know. Well done!! I'm definitely reading more of this one!!"
Amazing
"Okay, I enjoyed your first story, but I liked this one even more. The young boy with the bad reputation and the broken family, his feelings about the situation, it all feels so real and heart-wrenching. I love his reactions to the things around him -- his cynicism makes him all the more likeable for me. I thought that the argument between Sky and his mother was very well done. I felt myself very drawn into this story. And that ending! It really leaves the reader wanting to know what is going to happen next. I can't wait for more of this story to come out. I thought that the description of Jay's fear as he realized he was being followed (the blood rigid in his veins, the hammering heart, etc) was very evocative. This is a great piece of work. I enjoyed the writing itself, but I felt that in places it was little over the top, especially toward the beginning. It almost felt like you were trying to hard, and it made the language a little clunky. I think that more short sentences mixed with the long ones would help the rhythm. Also, toward the end, there were a LOT of rhetorical questions. I feel like they served a purpose at times, but other times it just felt like filler. Anyway, great work! Please let me know when and if you post more of this story."
