Cassian

“Spread them again! Please, Cassian, spread them again!”

A group of young children had gathered around Cassian, their eyes glistening with excitement as they clapped their hands and cheered.

Cassian laughed. He was one of the oldest archangels, the only one with golden wings, and the protector of the children.

He unfolded his wings again, spreading them wide behind his shoulders until they towered over his tall frame. With a gentle sweep, he sent golden dust floating through the air. The children jumped and reached for the glittering particles, trying to catch them in their little hands.

Cassian had never understood why children had to die. Why put their parents and families through such terrible misery? He sat with those left behind during their grief, and though they couldn’t see him, he hoped they could feel his presence and somehow knew the Father hadn’t punished or abandoned them. Unfortunately, his efforts were often to little avail. It wasn’t always easy for humans to believe in what they couldn’t see, let alone find comfort in it when they were suffering.

At least the children who arrived in heaven long before their time no longer felt pain or sadness. They had no memory of who they once were, of their families or friends, and Cassian considered that progress.

Human suffering was terrifying enough. He had seen mothers take their own lives in the hope of being reunited with their lost children in heaven, but it didn’t work that way. Though they, too, lost all memory of their earthly lives and might very well encounter their former children here, neither would understand that they had once shared a life together. Perhaps that was for the better.

And when those mothers joined heaven, he watched desperate fathers turn to drink, trying to drown their grief. He couldn’t imagine that being for the better either. Cassian had never quite understood the concept of life, of being human, or of being driven by one’s emotions, though he experienced them all himself.

Humans had their own ideas of what heaven looked like. Some imagined living on clouds, while others dreamed of green valleys and eternal sunshine. They pictured angels in flowing white dresses, with white wings, flying around and playing harps all day, but that wasn’t the case.

Heaven wasn’t so unlike Earth. There were cities, only their buildings were constructed from materials unknown to humans. Impressive structures rose above streets where angels went about their daily lives. Angels didn’t look much different from humans either, having adopted their appearance long ago to blend in better during their visits to Earth.

They went to work and cared for the deceased humans assigned to them. There was nature, there were animals, and there was the underworld, home to the fallen angels. Heaven had also seen its share of war.

Cassian was the only angel ever to possess golden wings. Most had white feathers, sometimes with a creamy tint, while some of the elders had silver wings. But no one except him had golden ones. He was often accused of being the Father’s favorite child, though little did the others know that the Father had always been particularly hard on him.

Angels weren’t supposed to experience emotions like humans. They weren’t supposed to have blood running through their veins. They functioned and cared for those entrusted to them, but they couldn’t love. They didn’t experience grief, sadness, or overwhelming joy. Neutral was probably the best word to describe them, and they had existed that way for thousands of years, usually immortal and unaffected by the emotions that governed human lives.

Cassian, however, was different, and the reason for that went back to the very beginning of humanity.

A long time ago, when the Father had created the world for humans, along with the first man and woman, he had fallen in love with Eve. But she belonged to Adam, and a future had already been designed for them, one in which there was no room for Cassian. So, after Eve gave birth to their son, the Father took him to heaven, where he grew up.

He was the only child ever born from the union of God himself and a human woman, and he had never met his mother.

Other angels had fathered children with human women, but their offspring were nothing like Cassian. They lived among ordinary humans on Earth, unaware of the angelic blood running through their veins, and possessed no particularly remarkable abilities. The angels responsible for these forbidden unions, however, had been cast out of heaven and joined the fallen ones who ruled the underworld alongside the Father’s archenemy.

Humans believed that enemy was Lucifer, his fallen son, but humans knew very little about what had truly happened in heaven.

“Cassian!” a little girl shouted as she crawled onto his lap.

It was Nova, a sharp little girl who, in human years, was no older than six, but here she possessed one of the brightest minds heaven had ever seen.

Growing up worked differently in heaven. Children didn’t change physically as they grew older. Their minds simply developed and sharpened over time, and Nova was exceptionally intelligent. She was curious about everything, interested in anything she could learn, excellent in school, and a beautiful little girl.

Cassian wrapped his wings around her and tickled her with one of his feathers. “What is it, my sweet little star?”

She snuggled against his bare chest, resting her small hand where his heart was beating.

“You are different from the others,” she whispered against his warm skin. “But so am I. We are special. Why?”

She was, and Cassian had noticed that, too, yet he had no answer for her.

“Aren’t we all special?” Cassian murmured against her hair. “In our own way?”

“Yes, yes, of course. But we are really special. You know, not like the others.”

He couldn’t tell her why he was different from his brothers and sisters, and why she was different was something he simply hadn’t figured out yet.

“I remember my Ma and my Pa. Sometimes I can see them. On Earth. Why?”

Cassian had asked himself that same question more than once because she wasn’t supposed to remember them. Something must have gone wrong, though he had no idea what. He had tested her for angelic blood, but she had none. He had also checked whether her memories had failed to reset when she arrived in heaven, but according to the records, the process had been completed.

“You’re not supposed to sneak peeks at Earth, young lady.”

Nova tugged on one of his feathers, and in return, he poked her with another, making her giggle and squirm in his arms.

“But it’s soooo interesting. I want to go down to Earth again. I want to study human behavior.”

“Oh, so that’s what you want to study? Why not angelic science?”

“Boring,” she said with a shrug. “All angels are so lame but you.”

“But me, I see.”

She nodded. “Yes, you’re special. I told you.”

“I know I am, but I’m also not sure that’s a good thing. Sometimes being different can be very dangerous. You shouldn’t talk to too many people about this. We don’t want the wrong angels starting to ask the wrong questions, okay, little star?”

“Okay, Cas. I won’t. But I can talk to you?”

She tugged on that same feather again, this time a little harder, and Cassian flinched as a sharp pain shot through his body when the feather came loose.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry!” she exclaimed, her wide blue eyes darting from the feather to Cassian in horror. “I didn’t mean to actually pull it out.”

She placed a gentle hand against his always warm, flushed cheek.

“But now I’m keeping it. This way, you’re always with me, and I can always find you. No matter where you are.” She leaned closer. “And I can’t tell you why, but I’m having this really deeply unsettling feeling that something bad is about to happen.”

Her blue eyes, as bright as heaven itself, met his golden ones.

“You can keep the feather, but it wasn’t nice to pull it out. It hurt.” He wrapped his wings a little tighter around the small girl’s frame. “And don’t think like that. Nothing bad is going to happen.”

He wanted to believe that, and he truly did, but something inside him told him she wasn’t entirely wrong.