Chapter 1
“My time is running out! I need money. I need my own house. I need to get married. What about children?!
All my friends are getting married! Please, Lord, send me a good man to marry me.
I’m 27 years old, and I have absolutely nothing to show for it. Or am I just overreacting? After all, I’m still young. But then again, look at my cousins. Most of them are married, yet they barely have anything of their own. They don’t even own houses or land.
Aah! Maybe I should take another route. Have a child and be done with it. But what if I eventually meet someone who genuinely loves me and wants to marry me, only to discover that he doesn’t want a woman with a child?
But then again, is there even a need for me to get married?”
These are my daily thoughts as I prepare myself for work almost every morning.
Everything seems to be moving so fast in today’s world that sometimes I find myself questioning whether I’ve made a wrong turn somewhere along the way. Did I waste my time doing something that wasn’t worth it? Did I make the wrong decisions?
My savings aren’t even enough to start a small business. At this point, all I have is a little change to help me get through lunch and whatever remains after that.
Life really is a marathon. You wake up one morning and realize that you’re miles behind people you once thought were walking the same road as you. Some have bought houses, others are getting married, and a few are already raising children.
And here I am, still trying to figure out how to get my life together.
What trick are these people using?!
Anyway, back to reality. I really don’t want to be late for work.
Today, we’re having a rather serious meeting at the office. Apparently, management has decided to reallocate some employees to different locations across the country. I don’t know much about the arrangements, but I sincerely hope my name isn’t on that list.
I’ve only just started settling into my life here. The last thing I need is another unexpected change.
The meeting begins, and everyone settles into their seats. The director starts explaining the new arrangements, mentioning different locations and the employees expected to take up new responsibilities.
I sit quietly, hoping this has absolutely nothing to do with me.
Then I hear it.
“Ella George!”
My eyes widen.
For a moment, I think I’ve misheard my name.
My heart starts racing. My legs feel weak, and I struggle to concentrate on whatever the director is saying next.
Nashoka Village?
Wait. What?!
I understand that the organization wants to introduce women’s human rights programme in rural communities, and I know how important that initiative is. But why me?
There are plenty of employees who would happily take up this opportunity. Why choose someone who has absolutely no interest in relocating to a place like that?
After everything I’ve done to settle here, is this really how things are going to turn out?
I’ve only just found my feet. I recently got myself a new boyfriend after years of being single and miserable, and now I’m expected to pack my belongings and move to Nashoka Village?
Nashoka is almost three days away by road. There’s no airport nearby, and travelling by train is supposed to take approximately five days.
Who is going to travel that far just to see me? What kind of relationship am I supposed to maintain from there?
And more importantly, what happens to my plans?
After the meeting, I immediately head to the director’s office. I need an explanation.
“Director, may I ask if there was a particular reason I was selected for this allocation? I don’t recall submitting an email requesting a transfer to Nashoka.”
She looks at me and calmly explains.
“Well, Ella, we had to make a selection based on the available staff. Most of the remaining employees are either married or have children, and relocating them would be more complicated. You were the most suitable option available. Besides, don’t worry. The organization will provide accommodation and everything you and your team will need during your stay.”
I forced a smile.
But honestly, what else was I supposed to say?
I walk back to my desk feeling as though someone has placed a heavy load on my shoulders.
We have only three weeks to prepare for this assignment. During that time, we’ll receive training on the programme, what we’re expected to teach, how to approach the villagers and, most importantly, how to handle difficult situations.
After all, introducing new ideas to a community that may not be ready to accept them isn’t going to be easy.
We’re excused early so that we can begin making arrangements, prepare our belongings and say goodbye to our loved ones.
This is just three weeks before my life takes another unexpected turn.
Since my boyfriend is at work, I decide not to call him. I want to tell him face to face. Instead, I call my mother and explain everything.
As expected, she doesn’t share my frustration.
“My daughter, sometimes opportunities come in ways we don’t expect. Go and do your work. It will be a good experience for you, and it will also add something valuable to your CV. You never know what you might learn from this experience.”
I listen quietly.
I personally cannot see any benefits of going to Nashoka, but I also don’t want people to start calling me lazy or saying that I have no ambition or purpose in life.
After thinking about it for a while, I finally make up my mind.
I’ll go.
Later that evening, I meet John, my boyfriend.
After exchanging the usual greetings, I tell him about the changes at work and my upcoming relocation.
He listens without interrupting.
“So, you’re going to Nashoka?” he asks.
“Yes. Apparently, I’m one of the people selected for the assignment.”
He pauses for a moment before responding.
“Well, as long as you’re comfortable with it and it’s a good opportunity for you, I don’t see why you shouldn’t go. You should take it.”
I look at him, hoping he’ll say something more reassuring.
“But what about us?” I ask.
He smiles.
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll come and visit whenever I get the time. And if I can’t, I’ll wait until you get an opportunity to come back and visit. We will figure it out.”
I nod, trying to convince myself that everything will be fine.
At least he isn’t against it.
Maybe I’m worrying too much.
Three weeks later, the day of departure finally arrives.
All seven members of our team meet at the train station, ready for the journey to Nashoka.
Our team consists of three social workers, an accountant, a lawyer, a gender and development officer, and myself, the community development officer.
Our responsibilities are different, but we all have one common goal: to educate and empower women in rural communities by helping them understand their rights and the opportunities available to them.
Everyone seems excited about the assignment. Some are discussing the programme we’ll introduce, while others are busy checking their luggage and making sure they haven’t forgotten anything.
As for me, I’m just hoping the journey won’t be as terrible as I’ve imagined.
Well, I was wrong.
The journey turns out to be an absolute nightmare.
Between the dust, the endless stops and the unexpected delays, I honestly lose track of time. By the time we finally arrive, I’m convinced that our bags look almost as brown as our faces.
And damn! This wasn’t supposed to be an eight-day journey!
Eight days!
I step out, stretch my tired legs and take a good look around.
Nashoka Village.
So this is where I’ll be spending the next few months of my life?
The place is nothing like what I had imagined. In fact, it’s worse than anything we had heard during our preparations.
First of all, what do you mean we have to ride bicycles to get to our accommodation?
The accommodation isn’t any better. The roads are covered in reddish soil, the water has a brownish appearance, and the general condition of the surroundings leaves me wondering how I’m supposed to adjust to this place.
But if there’s one thing that makes me even more uncomfortable, it’s the locals.
The way they stare at us!
Honestly, you’d think we were some foreign traders who had travelled all the way there to buy their land.
Some watch us from a distance, others whisper among themselves, and a few simply stand there observing every move we make.
I force a smile whenever our eyes meet, but most of them don’t even bother responding.
Well, this is going to be interesting.
After safely reaching our accommodation, we’re shown around and informed about our living arrangements. Each team member is assigned an individual room, giving us some privacy after the exhausting journey.
Everyone begins unpacking and settling in.
As I arrange my belongings, I can’t help thinking about the life I’ve left behind.
My room back home. My usual routine. My boyfriend. My friends.
I pick up my phone and check for messages.
Nothing particularly exciting.
I let out a sigh and put it down.
Tomorrow, we’ll have to figure out how to approach the villagers and establish a relationship with the community.
And honestly, that’s probably going to be the hardest part of this entire assignment.
Because in community development, you can have the best programmes, the best training and the best intentions, but if the people you’re trying to reach aren’t willing to listen to you, where exactly do you begin?
The next morning we had a meeting with the village chairman, he explained about the village’s history, its shortcomings, what the government should work on. He listed a lot of things forgetting we are not government employees just an NGO with heavily imposed investors. Its on our shoes to help with the living standard of the people here but focus more on women human rights. We visited the local schools primary and secondary; the school’s conditions were real worse compared to our houses. Surprisingly, while going through the school with more than a thousand students we came across only a hundreds of female students the rest were male, teachers on the other side were mostly men, the school nurse was also a man, it was crazy as we had to ask what happens when a female student is need of a biological problem and the response was “the nurse takes care of all students problem”, it left all of us in shock!. though I do not want to work in this environment but hearing and seeing this made my heart boil. Due the superiority complex of men in this environment all female workers sent by the government do not last. As for the female students we saw at school they are either coming from prestigious families such as the chairperson, or those who ran at home and their families labeled them rebels, or orphans who have no one to stop them from going to school. The whole situation with the school real fed us, we went to the main office where we kept our working base on sat down thinking if that was the situation at school, what happens at homes, hospitals?. So, we decided to put down three teams; two people per team and each team has to have one social worker, the accountant was to be left behind for different works and in case of any guests. I left with Grace to the market, this is where I will be spreading awareness. You just don’t go outside and start preaching, we already sent an invitation to anyone who will be interested to the topic but urged them it will be for their benefits. Before coming to Nashoka, our organization had already sent invitations through the village leadership and community networks, informing residents about an upcoming awareness programme.
The invitation was deliberately simple.
We weren’t forcing anyone to attend.
We wanted people to come because they were interested and because they believed the information could benefit them and their families.
Our topic was women’s rights, but we knew that the phrase itself could make some people uncomfortable. So, Grace and I were going there to introduce ourselves, speak with people, listen to their concerns and remind them about the upcoming community meeting.
I picked up my notebook and followed Grace outside.
“Ready?” she asked.
I looked at the dusty road ahead of us.
By the market, a small tent had already been set up with chairs and floor mats. There were only a few women, about seven to ten, and around thirty men. We were warmly welcomed as we passed through them towards the front.
One thing I have always had is confidence when speaking in front of people. Grace was the first to introduce herself, then it was my turn.
“My name is Ella, and I work as a Community Development Officer.”
The faces looking back at us seemed grumpy, as if they were waiting to hear what else we had to say.
“So, as our invitation stated, we are here to speak about various problems facing Nashoka Village, especially women’s human rights.”
The place became quiet for a second, but I still had to continue, this time with more confidence.
“When I talk about women’s human rights, I am talking about the rights, freedoms and protections that every woman and girl is entitled to enjoy equally, without discrimination based on gender or any other reason.
“All women have the right to education, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and the freedom to choose when and whom they want to marry. They also have the right to make decisions about their own lives, to work and earn their own money, to own property, to access healthcare and to live free from violence and abuse.”
I paused again for a moment, then Grace came forward and said
“As you can see I am a woman who is 40 years old, with no husband or child.” she stopped then smiled as there were a lot of murmurs.
“It’s not because I have no man in my life. But simply because I am not ready to get married. I am not saying you should not get married, but I am saying that you should be the judge of your own decisions. No one should take away your right to make choices about your own life! No one should force you to get married! No one has the right to hurt you! Not your father, husband, stepmother, sister, brother or even the village chairperson!”
It became quiet again, Grace continued speaking, giving more explanations. The crowd remained very quiet. I wasn’t sure whether they were understanding what Grace was saying or simply waiting for her to finish so they could leave.
Today was only supposed to be an introduction. There was no need for us to be as aggressive as we were. However, in two days, they would be having a Standard Seven graduation ceremony, so we decided to use this opportunity. If we were lucky, the village chairperson could also mention our intentions during that very event.
Grace also added that it wasn’t because the men in the village were bad and that our intention wasn’t to make enemies out of all men. We simply wanted everyone, regardless of gender, to understand equality, freedom and human rights.
We insisted so much on human rights in general so that everyone there could understand our main agenda.
The meeting ended without any questions or answers. The moment we finished our presentation, the crowd left, leaving us to collect our things.
Back at the office, everyone was just tired. We were definitely lucky that the villagers had listened to us until the end. The other team hadn’t even managed to finish their presentation.
It was just the beginning, but none of us seemed willing to continue with this. Thinking about the place I had to return to that night was another nightmare.
While everyone was busy with their activities, I took out my phone and texted one of my friends who worked as an HR officer at a big company in the city.
I made my decision at that moment. I was leaving this place. I wasn’t meant for this kind of environment.
I asked her if there were any open vacancies at her workplace. Unfortunately, there weren’t any at the time, so I had to continue working here or look for different jobs somewhere else.
I also texted my boyfriend about the situation. He told me to be strong and said that if things didn’t work out, I could simply go back and stay with him while looking for a new job.
