First and Final Chapter
I wore a dog collar and chain to a gay nightclub once, just to please my Lover.
It was black leather studded with steel cones, the kind that reek of S&M; with a heavy steel chain trailing from my throat to the hem of my ultra-short black goth skirt. At the end of the chain dangled a black leather holding strap, presenting a gaping, tear-drop hole that begged a new owner to lay claim. And claim they did.
Life’s funny like that, one thing leads to another and suddenly you’re wondering what you’ve done, why you’ve done it.
The original idea had been concocted by Lover on a whim. He’d never participated in anything S&M and the quirkiness of publicly displaying his girlfriend at the end of a collar and chain apparently appealed to his ever-so-carefully hidden dark side. The side shared only with me. He’d launched the idea across a graffiti-stained table in our favourite Bohemian-chic café one night after work. With all the noise and chatter, i had to ask him to explain twice before his unexpected request fully sank in.
“You want me to wear a dog collar and chain? In public? You don’t even like it when I wear my nose ring – why the hell would you want me to wear a dog collar and chain?”
I couldn’t understand where this was coming from, it was so out of character for him. There have been lovers in the past who could have demanded a dog collar and I would have fawned and pandered to their wants unabashed and shameless. I’m sort-of submissive, and am attracted to strong, confident men capable of achieving that seductive mix of domination and caring. I would have done it without question in the past - but not Lover. It’s just not him.
I didn’t say yes, and I didn’t say no. I just smiled and even though I knew I was leading him on, I really needed some time to digest this.
Sasha goaded me over drinks the next day. “Why not give it a go - as a trial run?” she enthused.
“I’ll be your partner – we’ll go to a gay bar and I can be your girlfriend for the evening. Gay bars are safe, you know that – everyone just lets you be you and have a bit of fun.”
For those who don’t know her, Sasha can best be described as an unstoppable party bus, and once the idea took hold there was no way our master-slave date night wasn’t going to be played out to the full.
And play out it did. But not in the way she expected, and not in the way I intended, and Lover never did get to see me collared and chained.
Life’s funny like that – one thing leads to another thing and before you know it, something utterly inconsequential has kicked your feet from under you and smashed your face into the pavement with one brutal scream of soul-destroying agony.
