Just One Litter

I was sitting in the kitchen reading a local free paper when I saw an advert for Labradoodles. We already had one, Daisy, who was now 4yrs old and despite pleas and demands my husband would not be budged “We’re not having another puppy, look how much hard work she was when we got her!” I sort of recalled the sleepless nights, trying to get her to be housetrained, trying to train this energetic, mischievous girl that everything in the house wasn’t a chew, but she had turned into such a wonderful, loving dog that I desperately wanted a puppy – her puppy.

I found the section I wanted and called Steve over “’Look how much they are now.” I said, “Good job we’re not looking now”. “Good grief, I can’t believe anyone would pay that much for a puppy.” he said. I had often said we should have a litter before we had Daisy spayed, telling Steve that it was better for them in the hope he would give in. This could just be the way to get my litter “Yes, considering they can have up to 8 puppies, that’s a lot of money people are making. Seems like an easy way to make some money –ooh, just think, we could have that holiday the kids wanted once the litter was sold”.

He walked out of the kitchen and I was left looking at Daisy “Oh well, that didn’t go to plan.” The next day the subject was broached again, but this time by Steve “If you’re determined to have a litter then go ahead, but leave me out of it. You’d have to sort it all out and see to everything.” I replied “OK, I’ll see what we need to do then.” but I’d known for ages what needed doing; I even had a stud dog lined up for my beautiful girl. I couldn’t believe he’d finally given in; the thought of the money had obviously swayed him, but I wasn’t going to point out it that it wouldn’t all be profit – there was the stud fee to start with, the price of a puppy, and all the other stuff we’d need as well as looking after the puppies for 8 weeks.

I rang my sister Rosie straight away “You’ll never guess – he said yes. Whoopee. Daisy will be in heat soon and then we can take her to her boyfriend”. “Er, WE?” Rosie said, and I replied “Well, I’ll need some support you know.” She laughed and agreed and we discussed potential dates and that was sorted.

A few weeks later we were off to the stud dog. I felt very nervous and was wondering if I really wanted to do this, but the thought of Daisy’s baby in my arms was too important to me. Nothing else mattered.

I had never given thought to what having my dog mated would entail, but I have to say it wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience and at one point almost screamed at the stud dog “Leave her alone, you’re hurting her” but I knew that would make me look stupid and hysterical so kept quiet but couldn’t watch any longer. I was even more upset that we’d have to do this once, maybe twice, more. As we drove home both Rosie and I were quiet, then she said “Do we have to bring her back?” and I said “Yes, the worst is over.” Twice more we went to the stud dog. The breeder then told us what to expect, what to look for and that she would wait to hear from me but the stud fee would be due when I knew Daisy was in pup.

The one thing I’d asked Steve not to do was to tell the kids. However, he did and I was questioned daily “Is she having pups?”; “How many will she have?”; “What will we call them?” “Are we keeping them?”– At that point I had to say that we wouldn’t be keeping them, they’d be adopted by other people “So why is she having them?” asked Ellie, she was sometimes quite smart for a 7yr old - “Can we not keep any of them?” “No sweetie, they’ll all find lovely homes. Daisy is just helping people have a lovely puppy.”

Lying through my teeth to the kids didn’t feel right, but I couldn’t tell them my plan to keep one because they wouldn’t be able to keep that a secret.

Then Matthew asked “Is she definitely having pups?” and at the same time Steve piped up with “Yes, what is happening with the dog?”

I’d had enough of their questions by now and I was also worrying that she wasn’t having puppies at all so I screamed at them “How do I know, have I become a vet all of a sudden?” At that point Steve and Matthew decided the best option was to leave the room. “Stupid people.” I thought to myself. Anyway, I needed to talk to someone sensible, someone sympathetic who would give me some much needed support, so I rang Rosie “How’s it going?” she asked. “It’s not, nothing seems to be happening.” “Is she not putting any weight on, are her nipples any bigger?” she asked. Daisy was walking past me at that point and I suddenly realised that she did seem to have a little bit of a bump on one side and then I bent down and felt her nipple, it did seem a little larger than normal – or was I imagining it? “I think she might be, come round and have a look.” So, twenty minutes later Rosie arrived and we had a good look at Daisy and agreed that she did seem to be having pups. “Oooh, you clever girl Daisy-darling, what a lovely girl.” We checked the calendar and thought she must be about 5 weeks pregnant. Only 4 weeks to go and then I would have a beautiful little Daisy-darling puppy – I could hardly contain my excitement but I couldn’t possibly tell Steve why I was so thrilled. “Thank goodness for that.” he said “I thought we’d have to tell the kids we couldn’t have that holiday.” I knew he wasn’t really interested in her having pups but I thought it was a bit cold of him. After all, he was the one that wanted a dog in the first place but having said that, once Daisy arrived he hadn’t taken much responsibility for her.

The weeks went by and Daisy grew bigger with each week. I had a rough idea of when she’d have the litter and persuaded Rosie to come and help me when the time came, I knew Steve would not be any help, he had already said that he’d look after the kids but wanted nothing to do with the birth. That was fine by me; I’d rather Rosie helped anyway.

By our reckoning Daisy could have her pups on the Friday of the next week so Rosie agreed to stay over. Friday slowly came around and by now I was a nervous wreck. I started to think about what could go wrong, that Daisy might die giving birth, and every other disaster I could think of. It was a relief when Rosie arrived and calmed me down. Steve did as he said and he took the kids to the pictures then would get them sorted for bed so I didn’t have to do anything. Rosie and I settled down in the kitchen with magazines and some crossword puzzles, and the kettle constantly boiling. Daisy had seemed a little unsettled that day but other than being uncomfortable hadn’t shown any signs of going into labour. By 11.00pm we decided that it probably wouldn’t happen and thought it best to go to bed, although I popped into the kitchen a couple of times through the night to check on her.

The kids rushed into our bedroom very early the next morning “Are they here, have the puppies come yet?” “No, not yet, maybe today. Now don’t forget to keep quiet around Daisy and don’t pester her?” “How do the puppies get here?” asked Ellie. Oh no, I wasn’t ready for that question and I certainly wasn’t going to go into detail at her age “Never you mind about that, just go and get ready cos Dad’s taking you to your cousins for the day”. Luckily that was enough to get them out of the bedroom and start to get ready “If she asks me I’ll tell her to ask you, I’m not answering those sorts of questions” said Steve. Trust him!

Saturday was spent watching Daisy and wondering when it would start. She had been pawing at the whelping box she was in which I knew was a sign that it was imminent but could still take some time, however, she was very hot, so I was hopeful it would soon start. Rosie and I were just talking about some stupid celebrity who was wearing fur and saying what a bad role model she was and that she should be shot, when Daisy started grunting “Oh no, oh I think she’s starting. What do we do” I felt panicky now, and sick to my stomach, my poor girl was going through child-birth and I’d made her do it and what if something bad happened to her or the pups. Rosie put her hand on my arm and told me to stop panicking, everything would be fine and I should go and get the towels and things we’d need. “Don’t forget the boiling water.” she said, “Why do we need that?” I asked and she replied “Cos I need a cuppa you muppet.” at that I laughed cos Rosie always needed “magic tea” – she said tea always made everything better.

We watched Daisy for ages, moving around, trying to get comfortable and giving loud grunts and with each grunt my heart dropped into my stomach and I wanted to be sick. I’d read that it could take ages but when it got to an hour I was starting to worry. One hour and twenty minutes later she gave an enormous grunt, lifted herself slightly and out came the first puppy “Oh my god, a puppy, she’s had a puppy.” I cried rushing over to her. “Of course she’s had a puppy, what else did you think she’d have?” said Rosie. I watched in amazement as Daisy moved her head to her puppy and tore the sac from around the baby. I grabbed the scissors, which I’d already sterilised, and cut the umbilical cord and then gently picked up the puppy and checked it over. I gave it to Rosie and asked her to weigh it while I waited to get rid of the placenta when it arrived. “You clever girl Daisy, you have a beautiful little puppy – a girl”. I gently stroked the top of her head. I didn’t want to bother her too much but I wanted her to know how proud of her I was. We placed the puppy back with Daisy and again I was amazed at this little miracle, she instinctively knew where to feed from and she latched on and tugged as hard as she could to get to her mum’s milk.

A short while after Daisy started grunting again and we took the first pup from her and placed her gently in a box with lots of towels to keep her warm. Daisy produced a boy this time, followed by a girl, another girl, a boy, another girl and then we thought that was it. Daisy was looking very tired by now and when we looked at the clock she’d been in labour about 7 hours. I gently felt the birth canal (as instructed by my book) and thought I could still feel a puppy so we settled down to wait again. An hour and a half passed, Daisy grunting but nothing happening and now I was getting very, very worried. I told Rosie I was going to ring the vet. I was very tearful now, worried about Daisy, annoyed with Steve that in all this time he hadn’t bothered to show his face and I knew that after dropping the kids off he’d probably gone out with his mates and would be in the pub. He was only interested in the money and couldn’t care less about our precious Daisy. Rosie stopped me ringing the vet and said to hang on a few more minutes and see what happened. Sure enough, she started grunting again; she was clearly uncomfortable though and I knew she was struggling. My heart was in my mouth and I could easily have been sick but I told myself to pull myself together, this was my precious girl and I couldn’t go to pieces now. Eventually, an hour and fifty minutes later, another pup arrived. Daisy looked beyond exhausted now and didn’t even lift her head to move the sac from the puppy. I picked the puppy up, tore the sac, cut the cord and then removed the mucus from the mouth and nose. Nothing happened. I knew deep down what was wrong, but even so, I did what I’d read, I blew very gently into the nose and mouth, gently rubbed at her chest and then, wrapped in a warm towel, shook her gently backwards and forwards. I did this for ten minutes before Rosie said “She’s gone, you can’t make her breathe. She was too weak.” The tears were streaming down Rosie’s face as she took the puppy from me and all I could do was to tell Daisy how sorry I was, that I’d let her down by not saving her puppy. I was sorry I’d put her through all this pain only for her puppy to die. I felt like being sick and crying at the same time. After the joy of the previous puppies this was a devastating blow. A little life that Daisy had carried but couldn’t be saved. Poor Daisy looked so tired, and she was such a mess. Her beautiful coat was covered in all sorts and she seemed tired, and very, very sad. She’d been incredible with the other puppies, instinctively knowing exactly what to do with them all, how to encourage them to feed, and cleaning them when they pee’d and poo’d. Basic maternal instinct at its’ very best.

Rosie took the puppy out of the kitchen and found a small box to put her in for now, and then came back in the kitchen. “I think we’d best get tidied up now and then probably go to bed. I’ll put the kettle on”. “Oh no, not more tea” I said, she laughed and said “No, this time it’s for the hot water bottle for the puppies”. “Thank goodness for that, I think I’m awash with tea now”. We started to clear up and try and get some order back into the kitchen. I’d have to have it clean for the breakfast in the morning.

I looked at Daisy, she looked like she was snoozing but she was starting to move uncomfortably again. I looked at Rosie and said I thought Daisy was in labour again, it had been over two hours since the poor little stillborn arrived and I didn’t think she’d have any more. We looked at each other, then back at Daisy and sure enough, she was trying to deliver another puppy. She lifted herself, gave a last grunt and a small puppy slithered out and again I took it and tore the sac and cut the cord, Daisy was very tired now. I was terrified that this puppy would also be stillborn, it had been in the birth canal a very long time, but as I removed the mucus it gave out a little cry and I was so relieved that it – he – was ok. I placed him on a nipple and watched as he hungrily latched on and suckled for all he was worth. He was the smallest and the was the weakest but he was perfect – and he would be mine. I wanted that little puppy more than any of the others – perhaps because I thought he might be stillborn, but more likely because he was the smallest.

At last it was time for bed. I was tired, drained emotionally and physically and so was Rosie. When the first puppy arrived we both burst into tears and the tears flowed with each puppy that was born – and even more for the stillborn.

When I went into the bedroom I realised Steve was already in bed, I hadn’t even heard him come in, but I could hear him snoring, so I knew he was asleep. Even so, I whispered “We’ve had seven puppies.” and he mumbled something, but I had no idea if he had heard or not. The next morning, I told him everything that had happened and surprisingly he asked to see the puppies. We checked them all and they seemed well and to have had a good night, so we left them to it as Steve left to go and get the kids. I knew they’d be so excited to see the pups, but I was worried about them getting too attached to them when they would be gone in a few weeks. I needn’t have worried, Steve had told them on the way home about the puppies and that they weren’t staying so not to get too excited. It didn’t stop them wanting to pick them all up and hug them, but they were told that they were not to touch the puppies unless one of the adults let them and they seemed happy enough just to see them for now.

I still hadn’t told Steve and the kids about “my” puppy but I did keep saying I was worried about him because he was so small, and that perhaps no-one would want him. Steve was still seeing pound signs when he looked at the puppies, but I saw each and every one of their characteristics, their funny little ways, how they interacted with each other and how much stronger and bigger they were all getting, apart from Harry that is – my Harry. He was still small, but he seemed healthy enough.

The time flew past and at 5 weeks I knew I would have to advertise them. Because I was part of a dog forum they all knew about the puppies and had been giving me advice and support since the very beginning. A couple of people had already expressed an interest in the pups and others knew of people who might be interested so I knew that even with six puppies I would easily find homes for them.

As the time drew nearer for them to be adopted Ellie started asking lots of questions about where the pups would go, what kind of homes they would have, how did I know they’d be taken care of? I still hadn’t said I was keeping Harry and I felt mean that I couldn’t tell her that we would be keeping one of them, but I didn’t want to chance Steve putting his foot down and saying no way were we keeping one – although if a home couldn’t be found then what else could we do!

Some people on the forum were also asking about how I would ensure the puppies were going to good loving homes and they started to annoy me but the person that annoyed me the most when I whinged about it was my sister Rosie. I knew Rosie had never agreed with me wanting a litter. She didn’t have any dogs but was involved a little in rescue and I knew she disapproved but it was something we just had to agree to disagree about. When I said people were asking how I would know it was a good home all she would say was “Well, how will you know?”

At six weeks old I had several people lined up to meet the pups. Each one of them turned up and each one of them chose a puppy. Of course, Harry was nowhere to be seen during the visits and I could honestly say to Steve and the kids that no-one had chosen him.

I had names for all the pups, but I knew that once they were adopted their names would be changed – all except Harry of course, he would always be Harry.

The day the pups were being collected was probably one of the worst days I can remember. I thought I would be fine but as the time came for each family to arrive I felt a knot in my stomach and I picked up the chosen puppy, smelt its’ puppy smell and said goodbye to it. I wished each of them well and told every family that if they had any problems at all they must bring the puppy back to me. Even if we’d spent the money I would find the money to refund them somehow. I needed these puppies to be safe.

In all of this, Daisy was the one I hadn’t thought about. As her puppies left one by one she seemed to look more and more sad. I was pleased for her sake as well as my own that we were keeping Harry and I thought that if Steve said we couldn’t possibly keep him I’d tell him that I’d rather Steve left than Harry!! I was not giving this puppy up – Daisy and I had gone through too much to let him go.

That night it was very quiet. Daisy was withdrawn and even Harry seemed upset, not surprisingly because all his brothers and sisters had gone and he didn’t have any playmates now. He seemed to sense his mother’s sadness and he snuggled into her as they settled down for the night.

This is how it would be from now on for Daisy and Harry. I hoped the other pups would be as happy and loved as Daisy and Harry were.